My "Needs"

I still "need" a cocktail dress for Fantasia Fair. I often think about the purple number that I found at Jessica McClintock's, but then I think about its $160 price tag and forget about it.

I was resigned to wearing an old dress that I had worn to a few special occasions in the past. I bought it at Fashion Bug and it always got rave reviews.

Yesterday, it suddenly occurred to me that I had not looked at what Fashion Bug had in their special occasions collection. So, I moseyed on over to their Web site and found just the dress for me!

During my lunch hour, I drove to the closest Fashion Bug store to buy my find, but they had none in stock. The store had a very poor selection of dresses; all their dresses were contained on one 8-foot rack.

Disappointed, I considered ordering online, but I worried since time was running out, I might not get the dress before my departure to Provincetown. And even if the dress showed up in time, there were no assurances that it would fit, so I decided not to order online.

However, I did not give up my quest. This morning, I began phoning other Fashion Bug stores in the area to see if they had the dress in stock. My first call was fruitful and I asked them to hold the dress for me.

I arrived at the store in boy mode during my lunch hour, asked for the dress, and found it to be as nice as I expected it to be. When I asked to try it on, the saleswoman (who had a few years on me) became flustered, hesitated, and then asked me if I wanted to try it on in the "ladies' dressing room" --- as if I had a choice --- Fashion Bug only has ladies' dressing rooms.

I affirmed that I wanted to try it on, so the saleswoman checked the dressing room to make sure no other women were using it. When she was sure it was all clear, she let me in.

I tried on the dress and it fit, so I paid for it and took my prized possession to my car.

The dress is a "Disco Dot Trapeze Dress" and the Fashion Bug web site describes it thusly: Draping knit dress in shimmering disco dots flows from its gathered neckline to just above your knees. Color: Plum" (see the accompanying photo).

A Payless shoe store was a few doors down from Fashion Bug. Since it is always hit and miss shopping for my size at Payless, I usually check out their current stock when I encounter one of their stores. And so I did today.

The saleswoman who greeted me as I entered the store was an old friend, who had been transferred from my neighborhood Payless store. We exchanged pleasantries and then she pointed me in the direction of the shoes in my size range.

I found one pair that interested me: a "Fioni J'Adore Pump" that the Payless web site describes as "Ooh la la! Go retro with this romantic pump. It features an elegant almond toe, sweet ruffle detail, lightly padded insole for comfort and flirty 3.75" wrapped heel with platform. Fabric and manmade materials" (see the accompanying photo).

The shoe color was navy, the fit was perfectly comfortable, and ooh la la, I did not hesitate to buy the pair.

So now I am all set for Fantasia Fair. I just have to pack.

The Girls of Cairo

Daniel Lismore wrote on his blog about his involvement in the casting of a pictorial for POP magazine featuring crossdressers from Cairo, Egypt. His blog post included photos from the pictorial.

The photos are wonderful (sample right). I invite you to visit his blog and view them all.

Thank you, Lorraine Goetsch, for alerting me to this story.

Dear Stana: How Do You Use T-Dar?

Dear Stana,

What do you in the following situation: You're at Fantasia Fair and a trans-woman walks by, but her female presentation is poor. If there are no people around so as not to embarrass her, would you consider offering suggestions to her to improve her presentation?

I have often wondered what would you do.

A Reader


Dear Reader.

I have written about using trans-radar before, but it will do no harm (and maybe some good) if I write about it again.

Trans-radar, or T-Dar for short, is the ability to detect a trans-person when they are presenting in their non-birth gender. For example, you see a tall woman walking through the mall. Suddenly, your T-Dar kicks in and you begin looking for clues that the woman is actually a natal male presenting as a female.

No matter how good you think your T-Dar may be, you seldom have an opportunity to determine whether your T-Dar works correctly or not.

You can confront a suspected trans-person, but that can be disastrous, especially if you are wrong.

I recall reading about a trans-woman who encountered two tall women while shopping. Her T-Dar told her that the two women were trans and she confronted them by introducing herself as trans and saying something to the effect, "You're trans, too, aren't you?"

The two women reacted as if the trans-woman had just gotten off a spaceship from Neptune. They had no idea what she was talking about and when it became apparent to the trans-woman that she had erred, she wished that she was on Neptune.

And even if your T-Dar is correct confronting a suspected trans-person can be a sensitive matter.

Last time I attended the First Event trans convention, I arrived at the hotel in boy mode and took the elevator to the floor to register for the event. The elevator stopped before reaching my destination and a trans-woman got on. I was 101% positive that she was trans and without thinking, I asked her if she was enjoying First Event.

She was taken aback by my query and seemed very uncomfortable. I immediately realized the error of my ways and explained to her that I was trans too, but having just arrived at the hotel, had not changed into girl mode yet. She seemed a little relieved, but I learned a lesson and would think twice before doing that again.

It is probably best that using your T-Dar be a solitary thing. Keep your T-Dar findings to yourself unless, of course, you write a trans-blog, then you can publicize your T-Dar results. ("Yesterday, I saw a trans-woman in ladies' shoes at Macy's.")

On the other hand, I have had trans-women ask me for advice or to give them my opinion about their presentation on occasion. I am always honored when they ask me and I do my best to give them honest advice or a true opinion.

But I would never offer unsolicited advice or opinion to a trans-woman. First and foremost, she is a woman. Would you ever consider giving unsolicited advice or opinion to a non-trans-woman who you happen to encounter anywhere anytime? Of course not because it would be extremely rude. Just because the other woman may be trans is no reason to throw good manners out the window.

Enough said!

By the way, I believe that most trans-people have T-Dar. It almost comes naturally because trans-people look for affirmation that there are other trans-people out there. What better way to affirm that then to actually see another trans-person in person? Seeking that affirmation, trans-people check out potential suspects wherever they go.

Even when my T-Dar determines that the six-foot woman walking through the mall is, in fact, a genetic female, it provides a different kind of affirmation. It affirms that there are genuine tall women out there and as a six-foot-plus trans-woman, it gives me encouragement to go out en femme and join the other tall women out there because I am not alone.

Best Wishes,

Stana

Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

I Want Candy!

Issue #2 of Candy, Luis Venegas' "first transversal magazine," is now on newsstands somewhere!

No Foolin'

How You Polled Your Leg

Last week's poll asked "When you femulate, what kind of hosiery do you usually wear?" and after a week's long poll with 679 respondents, the results are:

• 62% (424 respondents including myself) usually wear pantyhose or tights

• 30% (204 respondents) usually wear stockings

• 7% (51 respondents) usually wear no hosiery at all

I was surprised that 3 out of 10 usually wear stockings. Before the poll started, I guessed that femulators would be more likely to wear stockings than genetic women, but I did not expect that figure to be that much more likely. Personally, I don't know any genetic woman who usually wear stockings, so that 30% result is amazing!

There are some comments to the original post that explain some of the respondent's votes and non-votes; they have only a miniscule effect on the 62-30-7% results.

Long Tall List

It has been awhile since I updated the Famous Females of Height List, and as a result, the update list is very long. So without further ado, here is the update.

5'8" – Connie Briton – actress, television (Spin City) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'8" – Anne Francis (photo right) – actress, film (Forbidden Planet) & television (Honey West) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'8" – Elisabeth Röhm – actress, television (Law & Order) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'8" – Susan Sullivan – actress, film & television (Falcon Crest) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'9" – Majel Barrett – actress, television (Star Trek) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'9" – Leslie Bibb – actress, television & film (Iron Man) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'9" – Katrina Bowden – actress, television (30 Rock) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'9" – Margaret Dumont – actress, films (Marx Bros. films) – source: Stana

5'9" – Kate Lang Johnson – actress, television (Hell Cats) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'9" – Annie McElwain – actress, television (Shark) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'9" – Michaela McManus – actress, television (Law & Order Special Victims Unit) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'9" – Poppi Monroe – actress, television (CSI: Miami) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'10" – Bridget Hall – fashion model – source: Stana

5'10" – Carey Lowell – actress, television (Law & Order) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'10" – Stephanie March – actress, television (Law & Order Special Victims Unit) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'10" – Diane Neal – actress, television (Law & Order Special Victims Unit) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'10" – Laura Prepon – actress, television (That '70s Show) – source: SoCalSecrets

5'11" – Cassie Fliegel – actress, television (The Office) – source: Stana

5'11" – Bettina Wulff – Germany's First Lady – various sources

6'1" – Erin O'Connor – fashion model – source: SoCalSecrets

6'4" – Jackie Meyers – former UNC basketball player – source: Juno Michelle

6'6" – Waltiea Rolle – UNC basketball player – source: Juno Michelle

7'7" – Sandy Allen – correction from previous listing – source: Juno Michelle

One Guy at the Beach

Guiding You to Fantasia Fair

The 2010 Fantasia Fair Participant's Guide is now online. The Guide is the “bible” for folks attending the event… especially first timers. Don't leave your B&B without it.

I perused an earlier edition of the Guide before I ever planned to go to Fantasia Fair. Reading it so enthused me about the Fair that I decided to try to attend the event.

I almost made it in 2007 and finally attended in 2008. Check out the Guide and you too may find yourself planning a trip to Provincetown in mid-October.

This year, I return not only as an attendee, but as a workshop presenter. As a presenter, I am in the Guide, too.

It is so cool that my biography appears on the same page (113) as one of my favorite people, Ethan St. Pierre, who Fantasia Fair is honoring this year with the Virginia Prince Transgender Pioneer Award. My photo also appears on page 67 (just below my workshop description) modeling in the Fantasia Fair fashion show.

How cool is that?

Coincidentally, I had a dream last night in which I was browsing the Guide and found a photo of myself wearing my shoulder-length blond wig, a simple white blouse, a short maroon balloon skirt, and dark brown tights (the photo did not show my feet, so I don't know what shoes I was wearing).

I don't own a maroon balloon skirt, but I liked the look! Now, where can I find a maroon balloon skirt in size 14?

The Smoking Gun

Dear Stana, Why is it so?

Dear Stana,

Regarding your advice on how to wear garter belts, you recommended wearing your panties over your garter belt, but I have seen pictures of girls wearing the garter belts over the panties and not under. Why is it so?

Susan


Hi Susan,

You see photos of girls wearing garter belts over their panties because it looks nicer; it looks sexier.

As a practical matter, wearing your panties over your garters makes it much easier to use the bathroom (or do anything else requiring panty removal). Just slip off your panties and voila, your private parts are free.

If you wear your panties under your garters, first you have to unclasp each garter (that's four or six clasps to undo) and then you can slip off your panties. Also, you will have to reclasp four or six garters after you slip your panties on again.

Best Wishes,

Stana

Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Poll Your Leg

I’m curious. Maybe you are, too.

When you femulate, do you usually wear stockings, pantyhose, or no hosiery at all?

My guess is that femulators are more likely to wear stockings than generic women and that genetic women are more likely to go without hosiery than femulators.

Anyway, sate our curiosity by taking the poll located at the top of the right sidebar of the blog.

News: The Good with the Bad

Good news is that I will be in Provincetown attending Fantasia Fair three weeks from now.

Bad news is that I have to wait three weeks before I can live authentically again. (By "live authentically," I mean live as the woman I am.)

Bad news is that my vacation is over and its back to work this morning.

Good news is that I have a job at all in this economy.

Bad news is that I don't much like my job. I never had any intention of doing what I am doing. Got into it because the money was much better than what I was making in my previous job (by a multiple of 2).

Turned out, I am very good at my job and as a result, I climbed to the top of the salary structure and now I cannot afford to walk away.

I often wonder if I would feel better about my job if I was able to work as a woman. My employer already gave me the green light to do so. The only thing holding me back is my family. They are not ready (they may never be ready) and I love them too much to lose them by choosing that option.

Truth is that I never asked them about it. I am afraid of their answer. (Once that cat is out of the bag, there is no way to stuff it back in, so I am keeping that bag tightly shut.)

(Damn! This is a depressing piece. The more I write, the more badly I feel.)

Some days I think about packing my car with all my womanly possessions and driving far far away from this life and starting over as a woman.

Three Guys in a Bar

Two Guys in a Bar

A Femulate Classic from November 2007

Dear Stana

Dear Stana,

How do keep a garter-belt and stockings or pantyhose from sliding down your waist and legs?

Susan

Hi Susan,

If you buy the correct sizes, you should not have a problem.

The garter belt should be large enough to fit around your waist, but small enough so that it does not slip down over your hips. You can adjust the size of the belt to accommodate your waist and hip combination, but do not make it too tight and create an unsightly bulge.

The stockings should be long enough so that their tops reach the clasps of the garter belt. You can adjust the length of the garters so that the clasps meet the top of your stockings. If the stockings are too short and need to be stretched to their outer limits in order to reach the clasps, you are likely to experience slippage as you move about.

You did not ask, but be sure to attach the stockings to your garter belt before putting on your panties.

Size matters with pantyhose, too. The only time I had problems with pantyhose is wearing a pair too small for me. The pantyhose must be large enough so that their waistband sits at your waist and is tight enough so that it does not slip down below your waist, but not so tight that it creates a bulge.

Like stockings, if you have to stretch the pantyhose to their outer limits in order to get them to fit properly, then the pantyhose are too small and they will slip down your legs as you move around.

Best Wishes,

Stana

Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

A Happy Couple

A Femulate Classic from October 2007

As Luck Would Have it

A Femulate Classic from July 2007

MI6's Femulating Spy

Gwen alerted me to this article in the Telegraph today about Lt Col Dudley Clarke, a spy for M16 who was arrested in a street in Madrid “dressed down to a brassiere as a woman."

What, no wig in M16's bag of tricks?

Like Father, Like Daughter

I used this fumetti here almost three years ago. Long-time readers may remember it, and I apologize for the rerun. But I am on vacation this week and may not have time for something new every day. So rather than post nothing, I will post a "Femulate Classic" that I hope you will all enjoy.