Dear Stana, Why is it so?

Dear Stana,

Regarding your advice on how to wear garter belts, you recommended wearing your panties over your garter belt, but I have seen pictures of girls wearing the garter belts over the panties and not under. Why is it so?

Susan


Hi Susan,

You see photos of girls wearing garter belts over their panties because it looks nicer; it looks sexier.

As a practical matter, wearing your panties over your garters makes it much easier to use the bathroom (or do anything else requiring panty removal). Just slip off your panties and voila, your private parts are free.

If you wear your panties under your garters, first you have to unclasp each garter (that's four or six clasps to undo) and then you can slip off your panties. Also, you will have to reclasp four or six garters after you slip your panties on again.

Best Wishes,

Stana

Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Poll Your Leg

I’m curious. Maybe you are, too.

When you femulate, do you usually wear stockings, pantyhose, or no hosiery at all?

My guess is that femulators are more likely to wear stockings than generic women and that genetic women are more likely to go without hosiery than femulators.

Anyway, sate our curiosity by taking the poll located at the top of the right sidebar of the blog.

News: The Good with the Bad

Good news is that I will be in Provincetown attending Fantasia Fair three weeks from now.

Bad news is that I have to wait three weeks before I can live authentically again. (By "live authentically," I mean live as the woman I am.)

Bad news is that my vacation is over and its back to work this morning.

Good news is that I have a job at all in this economy.

Bad news is that I don't much like my job. I never had any intention of doing what I am doing. Got into it because the money was much better than what I was making in my previous job (by a multiple of 2).

Turned out, I am very good at my job and as a result, I climbed to the top of the salary structure and now I cannot afford to walk away.

I often wonder if I would feel better about my job if I was able to work as a woman. My employer already gave me the green light to do so. The only thing holding me back is my family. They are not ready (they may never be ready) and I love them too much to lose them by choosing that option.

Truth is that I never asked them about it. I am afraid of their answer. (Once that cat is out of the bag, there is no way to stuff it back in, so I am keeping that bag tightly shut.)

(Damn! This is a depressing piece. The more I write, the more badly I feel.)

Some days I think about packing my car with all my womanly possessions and driving far far away from this life and starting over as a woman.

Three Guys in a Bar

Two Guys in a Bar

A Femulate Classic from November 2007

Dear Stana

Dear Stana,

How do keep a garter-belt and stockings or pantyhose from sliding down your waist and legs?

Susan

Hi Susan,

If you buy the correct sizes, you should not have a problem.

The garter belt should be large enough to fit around your waist, but small enough so that it does not slip down over your hips. You can adjust the size of the belt to accommodate your waist and hip combination, but do not make it too tight and create an unsightly bulge.

The stockings should be long enough so that their tops reach the clasps of the garter belt. You can adjust the length of the garters so that the clasps meet the top of your stockings. If the stockings are too short and need to be stretched to their outer limits in order to reach the clasps, you are likely to experience slippage as you move about.

You did not ask, but be sure to attach the stockings to your garter belt before putting on your panties.

Size matters with pantyhose, too. The only time I had problems with pantyhose is wearing a pair too small for me. The pantyhose must be large enough so that their waistband sits at your waist and is tight enough so that it does not slip down below your waist, but not so tight that it creates a bulge.

Like stockings, if you have to stretch the pantyhose to their outer limits in order to get them to fit properly, then the pantyhose are too small and they will slip down your legs as you move around.

Best Wishes,

Stana

Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

A Happy Couple

A Femulate Classic from October 2007

As Luck Would Have it

A Femulate Classic from July 2007

MI6's Femulating Spy

Gwen alerted me to this article in the Telegraph today about Lt Col Dudley Clarke, a spy for M16 who was arrested in a street in Madrid “dressed down to a brassiere as a woman."

What, no wig in M16's bag of tricks?

Like Father, Like Daughter

I used this fumetti here almost three years ago. Long-time readers may remember it, and I apologize for the rerun. But I am on vacation this week and may not have time for something new every day. So rather than post nothing, I will post a "Femulate Classic" that I hope you will all enjoy.

New Ephemera

I collect female impersonator ephemera.

The majority of the items in my collection are postcards. I also have some programs, matchbook covers, advertisements, and other odds and ends.

I acquired most of the items via eBay. I am very conservative in my bidding and seldom bid more than $5 to $10 for an item.

I also have friends and relatives who have given me items for my collection, which is how I obtained the latest addition: a 2- x 6-inch advertisement from the Aqua Nightclub in Key West, Florida.

The ad looks like a ticket printed on semi-glossy card stock. There is ad copy on both sides of the item, but the photo of the girls only appear on one side.

Not for a Trans Convention

Tying Up Some Loose Ends

I just had an exchange of e-mails with my friend and sister blogger Janie.

She knew me originally as "Staci" and asked me to confirm that I am now going by "Stana."

Yes - I am Stana now.

Long story... when I picked "Staci" 100 years ago, I did not put much thought into it. It was the closest thing to my male name: Stanley > Stanislaus > Anastacia > Stacia > Staci and I needed something quick, so I started using it.

If I knew about "Stana" back then, I would have chosen that instead. Stana is unique and if any of my friends who know me as Stan, slip up and call me "Stan" while I am en femme, it is not a big faux pas as calling Staci, "Stan." Also, it seems as if half the trans population goes by the name of "Staci" or some variation thereof (I'm exaggerating).

Janie also asked me about my decision to go to Fantasia Fair again after pretty much having said I was past that stage last time we spoke about it.

Regarding Fantasia Fair... I certainly do not need it for getting out en femme, but I badly need to get away for a few days of vacation this year (my original summer vacation plans fell through), so I thought about vacationing in P-Town. Since I always wanted to redo Fantasia Fair and do it differently the second time, I figured I might as well go to P-Town during the Fair and kill two birds with one stone.

Also, it is like my annual trip to Dayton, Ohio, for the big ham radio convention; I go almost every year to Dayton to get reacquainted with my ham friends that I have met in the hobby over the years; at Fantasia Fair, I will be able to get reacquainted with my trans friends.

And finally, Jan, the program chairperson, has been encouraging me for two years to do a workshop at the Fair, so I will be doing one and that should be a lot of fun.

And so it goes.

Photos

Through the Looking-Glass

Commenting on yesterday's post, Lisa wrote, "The seminar you attended was on photography and yet you only took one picture. A girl as pretty as you needs to show off more and let the rest of us see you."

Actually, I took a bucketload of pictures and after receiving Lisa's e-mail, I decided to empty the bucket and see what else was worthy of display on my blog.

In my opinion, the best photo in the bucket is the one above. It surprised me because photos of mirror reflections seldom work for me. Something is always off kilter. However, this time all the stars and planets lined up just right and the result is rather pleasing.


Lashing Out

More than once, I mentioned here how I have been using a product to increase the length and fullness of my eyelashes.

After I did my eyes Wednesday morning, I noticed how well the eyelash serum was working, so I took a handful of photos to show you all.

Taking the photos myself, it was tricky trying to get a photo that would show off my lashes (my nose kept getting in the way). I took 12 shots and the best two appear here in black and white. (The lashes show up much better in black and white than in color.)

Just Fabulous!

Wednesday, my plan was to attend a day-long seminar on photograph lighting techniques.

I went en femme wearing an argyle sweater tunic, black leggings, and black booties. I considered wearing black tights without leggings, but the tunic was way too short, so I chose a more modest fashion statement.

I dressed, drove to Hartford, parked my Subaru, and found my way through the Connecticut Convention Center to the ballroom hosting the seminar where I joined approximately 500 other attendees.

If I learned anything from the seminar, I learned that I have a lot to learn!

I sat through the morning session and got very little out of it. It was way over my head. I needed training at a more basic level and this seminar assumed I already had that training.

During the lunch break, I decided it was pointless to continue. The folks running the seminar were speaking English, but it might as well have been a foreign language. So, sitting through four more hours would be fruitless, not to mention extremely boring.

By the way, except for the woman collecting my seminar ticket, not one person spoke to me at the seminar. I exchanged a few hellos and smiles with other women in attendance and I noticed a few guys and gals checking me out, but that was the extent of the interaction with my fellow attendees.

Since I needed a few things for my Fantasia Fair trip next month, I decided to go shopping and I can't think of a better time to go shopping for girly things than when I am dressed like a girly.

My first stop was a strip mall in West Hartford where my favorite clothing and shoe stores reside.

As soon as I walked into Dress Barn, the sales staff recognized that my argyle tunic was theirs and they all complimented my outfit. ("That sweater looks fabulous on you," so said one saleswoman.)

Last time I went to Fantasia Fair, Patty let me borrow a sweater coat that kept me warm during the cool weather in Provincetown. I wanted to get one of my own and I found a black double-breasted shag trim sweater jacket that was a perfect fit.

Dress Barn had a promotion that if you bought one sweater, you could buy a second at 50% off, so I perused their selection of sweater dresses. I found two to try on.

As I walked to the dressing room with my finds, I passed a rack of houndstooth sheath dresses that were oh so Mad Men retro that I had to try one on. The only problem was that they did not have my size. Not to be deterred, I took the largest size on the rack with me to the dressing room and hoped for the best.

A belted purple sweater dress was too tight (and probably too short), so I re-racked it. A gray cable sweater dress was a perfect fit; it showed off my every curve, so it was a keeper.

Finally, I tried on the to-die-for too-small-for houndstooth dress and I was shocked that it fit. Go figure — dress sizes are all over the place; you don't know what will fit until you try it on. That is why I prefer shopping in person en femme.

Anyway, I bought the houndstooth, too, and between the 50% off one sweater dress and a 20% off everything coupon, I only put a small dent in my credit card.

Next stop, was a few doors down from Dress Barn: Payless shoe store. Like dresses, shoe sizes are all over the place, so I was glad to be able to shoe shop in person en femme. I was looking for something comfortable to wear while I traipsed upon the unforgiving cobblestone sidewalks of Provincetown.

Payless had heels in my size, so I had to try them on. One pair was too tight, another pair fit perfectly, but hurt (go figure), and the third pair was just right; when I slipped it on, it was like putting on a bedroom slipper. It was on sale, too, so I anted up and bought the pair (a black "ghillie" slingback).

At the register, the saleswoman asked if I was a member of AAA, which I am and that was worthy of a 10% discount. So, I bought a nice pair of comfortable and fashionable shoes for $18!

(Above are my Dress Barn and Payless purchases.)

I checked my watch and noted that the afternoon was still young and the West Farms Mall was beckoning to me from across the street, so I spun my Subaru over to the mall and started at Nordstrom.

The store was way out there price-wise. Simple dresses cost $350, but I browsed the racks anyway hoping to find something that was marked down (way down).

While I was perusing a rack of cocktail dresses, a saleswoman nearby spoke up, "You're tall. I'm tall, too. How tall are you?"

I said, "Six foot two.'

She replied, "I'm six foot one."

And she engaged me in a discussion about being a tall female. She asked me how I liked being tall ("I love it."). She admitted that she had some difficulties during her school years because of her height, but as an adult, she was happy with her height.

After we exchanged a few more words, I excused myself and headed out the door to greener pastures that go by the name of Jessica McClintock. The store had some drop-dead gorgeous cocktail dresses, but very few in my size. I tried on a green dress reputedly in my size, but it was too too small.

The saleswoman confided that their dresses run small and that my best bet would be something stretchy. She suggested a purple stretch taffeta bustier dress, so I took it to the dressing room and tried it on. It fit and it looked great, but it cost $160, so I did not buy it (I am having non-buyer's remorse today).

(Above is the cocktail dress I did not buy.)

As I prepared to leave the store, the other saleswoman in the store said I looked "fabulous" and the saleswoman I had been dealing with shook her head in agreement.

I thanked them profusely and exited on that positive note.

Next stop was JCPenney, where I tried on five dresses. Some fit, some did not, and none impressed me.

By then, my feet were no longer getting along with my booties, so I decided to call it quits, and rode my Subaru into the sunset.

Needless to say, my day out en femme was "fabulous."

Unlike days out in the past, I went about my business without any hesitation because now I am so very comfortable and confident in my skin. After all, I am a woman, so why shouldn't I be one.

Gone Girly

I did go out en femme today and it was fabulous, but I only have time to leave you with a photo from today. The words will come later, I promise.

That is me seated at the Connecticut Convention Center in Hartford during the seminar lunch break.

Going Girly

Tomorrow I will attend a day-long seminar. I have never been to the seminar's venue, I don't personally know the folks running the seminar, and most likely, I will not know any of the other attendees at the seminar. Being a shy soul, I am anxious facing such unknowns.

And I will be going girly to boot!

Going girly is exciting. I so look forward to it because it gives me an opportunity to be authentic, to be myself, to be the woman I am.

I am sure tomorrow will be another fantastic day on the daylight side of the closet door. My excitement about going girly trumps my anxiety about facing unknowns.

Out Casually

Wednesday, I will attend a seminar in Hartford.

The weather has switched from summer mode to autumn mode here in Southern New England, so I planned to wear a sweater dress to the seminar.

I changed my mind after reading the seminar literature this morning. Under "Dress Code," it read "Casual. Jeans/shorts welcomed."

So, I decided to wear something more casual than a sweater dress; I will wear the argyle tunic (photo right) that I purchased recently at Dress Barn.

It will be a nice day out!

Epilady Anyone?

This morning, as I used a chemical depilator to remove hair from my legs, arms, and breasts for the umpteenth time, I wondered about alternatives like Epilady.

Here are the top three reasons Epilady cites for using their product:

• Results last for up to 4 weeks. Epilating takes about 15-20 minutes per leg, but is only done once a month.

• Hair grows back more slowly, and diminishes over time.

• New hairs grow back softer and lighter – “like a new blade of grass.”

So, what is your experience good or bad with electronic depilators like Epilady?

Please comment below or e-mail me if you prefer. I look forward to reading your views on this subject.

Dream Update

I have not written about my dreams lately, so I just wanted to update you about my nights in Dreamland.

I still seldom remember my dreams after I awake, so there is nothing new to report regarding that.

However, the dreams I do remember are interesting in that I am a woman in all of them. I no longer have dreams about crossdressing; rather my dreams begin and end with me as a woman and everyone else in my dreams acts as if my being a woman was natural.