Stana's Makeup — Part 2

Before I discuss my makeup regime, I want to mention shaving.

Obviously, you want to be as beardless as possible before you begin becoming beautiful.

I have tried various methods to achieve the best beardless state including using hot shaving cream, a shaving lubricant in place of a shaving cream, cold shaving (icing the face, then using ice cold water to rinse the blade as you shave), dry shaving (no shaving cream or lubricant), etc. Some people swear by these methods, but I did not find that the results were any better than the old tried and true method, that is, using a shaving cream or gel, razor, and hot water.

The products I use for shaving are more important than how I use them. I use a shaving gel (like Edge or its copycats) instead of a shaving cream because I found that I get a better shave with a gel.

Also, I use Gillette's Fusion razor (the manual version, not the powered version). Fusion is the best razor I have ever used, by far, however, if you are prepping for an outing en femme, I recommend using a new blade or at a minimum, a blade you have used only once or twice, to get the best shave.

I shave in the shower. The steamy environment of the shower softens your whiskers, so they are easier to remove. Also, when you are done, it is easier to shower away all the shaved whiskers. By the way, I shave in the shower without a mirror and never nick myself; it takes practice, but not much.

After shaving and drying thoroughly, I apply eyelash serum (Avon ANEW Lash-Transforming Mascara + Serum), eye cream (Avon Solutions Plus+ Ageless Results Eye Cream), and moisturizers on my neck and face (Avon Solutions a.m. Ageless Results Day Cream SPF 15 on my neck and Philosophy When Hope Is Not Enough Replenishing Cream on my face).

Then I take a 10 to 15 minute break to let my skin absorb all the products I just applied before I proceed with my makeup regime.

A Pisces’ September

September could be an interesting month for Pisces (like me).

Pisces — February 20-March 20

Early in the month, confidence and career opportunities once again fall at your feet. The 21st ushers in a chance to attract others with your charisma, leading them to finally be on the same page as you. At month's end, a vacation has a destined feel, but it is what you don't plan that can revolutionize your life.

(Horoscope from Harper's Bazaar)

Stana's Makeup — Part 1

I received another request to describe how I apply my makeup. It has been awhile since the last time I wrote on that subject here, so "The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things."

Every morning, I maintain my face whether I am going out as a boy or a girl. Maintenance is very important if you want to look your feminine best.

For years, I never did any maintenance. When I went out en femme, I'd apply makeup to my unmaintained face and I looked good for a guy in drag, but I never achieved that "feminine best" look that I saw on other women.

Being an Avon lady, I occasionally receive free samples. About five years ago, I received a free sample of a product to deal with wrinkles around the eyes. Looking in the mirror at the wrinkles developing around my eyes, I decided to try the free sample.

After a week or so, the wrinkles were less noticeable. After a few weeks, I had to examine my eyes closely to find the wrinkles. So, I was sold on the eye cream and decided to experiment with other skin care products, primarily moisturizers

After five years of using skin care products, my wrinkles are hardly noticeable and my skin is smoother, more supple, and healthier-looking. My makeup goes on easier and looks better. Professional makeup consultants have complimented me on my complexion. And now I can achieve that "feminine best" look.

I cannot emphasize enough the need to maintain your skin on a daily basis. You cannot look your feminine best when you go out en femme unless you take care of your face everyday.

Every morning, after I shave, shower, and dry myself off, I maintain my face with the following products.

(I use a lot of Avon products because I am an Avon lady, so I get the stuff at cost (or free) and can experiment with different products inexpensively. These products work for me, but your mileage may vary, so try other products if you don't like what I use.)

Avon ANEW Lash-Transforming Mascara + Serum — I use the eyelash serum part of this two-part product to increase the length and fullness of my eyelashes. You apply it like liquid eyeliner, that is, along the lash line above your upper lashes and below your lower lashes, and not directly on your lashes.

Avon Solutions Plus+ Ageless Results Eye Cream — I apply the eye cream under my eyes to deal with wrinkles. It does not eliminate the wrinkles, but it does make them much less noticeable.

Avon Solutions a.m. Ageless Results Day Cream SPF 15 — I apply the day cream to my neck to deal with the redness that resulted from too much sun and not enough protection. It gets out the redness and softens the skin on my neck.

Philosophy When Hope Is Not Enough Replenishing Cream — This non-Avon product is a "night cream" that I use as a daytime moisturizer. I apply it all over my face except where I applied the eye serum and eye cream. I love this product; after I put it on, my face has a feminine glow and feels wonderful, too.

Every evening after dinner, I cleanse my face with an Avon facial cleansing product that is no longer available. When Avon discontinued it, I stocked up on the product and probably have a year's supply. There are lots of other facial cleansers on the market that you can use that will do the job; just don't use hand soap to cleanse your face!

After cleansing, I reapply the Avon eyelash serum.

Occasionally, I apply a night cream (Avon Solutions Maximum Moisture Night Cream) before I go to bed, but usually I don't because I forget or am so tired that I just want to go to sleep!

By the way, I never smoked and seldom drink alcoholic beverages. Both can have a negative effect on your skin.

That's all the maintenance I do. In the next installment, I will write about applying the actual makeup.

Back to Provincetown

Two years ago, I attended to Fantasia Fair. After attending the event, I wrote, "I had a wonderful time at Fantasia Fair and I am sure I would have a good time if I attended again, but weighing the cost versus the potential of growing more as a woman, I think my money would be better invested elsewhere."

Since writing those words, I have grown more as a woman... a lot more. I no longer think twice about going out en femme. I realize now that I really am a woman and that going out en femme affirms my being as a woman.

Growth as a woman is no longer a goal; it is time to experience life as a woman.

Provincetown is my kind of town and I want to experience it as a woman, rather than a transwoman trying to find herself. Also, I want to renew acquaintances with the folks I met the first time I attended the event.

So, I am attending Fantasia Fair this year for a half-week, from Sunday, October 17 through Wednesday, October 20.

In addition to attending, I will be presenting a workshop in which I describe the care and feeding of a ridiculously popular transgender blog that was once dubbed the "center of the blog universe."

I hope to see you in Provincetown.

Amazing Womanless Beauty Pageant Femulation

Aunty Marlena e-mailed me links to some Web sites documenting recent womanless beauty pageants. The best of the batch was a March 27 pageant at American Legion Wright Brothers Post 210 in Montgomery, AL.

There were a few above average femulations at that pageant; see for yourself here.

But this pageant also featured one of the best femulations I've ever seen in any womanless pageant. A tall, leggy blond named Tammy (photos above) stole the show and was crowned Miss-ter Post 210 for 2010.

My Story - Part 3

Click on the image to enlarge it.

New Shoes

Being a fashionista who buys online, I receive a dozen e-mails everyday advertising specials from the various online merchants I have bought from in the past. I usually look at the specials from my favorite online merchants like Spiegel, Newport-News, and Jessica London, but I seldom buy anything.

Today, I received an exclusive invitation (ooh-la-la!) to Spiegel's end-of-season private sale!

Perusing the sale, I fell in love with a pair of two-toned patent cutout 4-inch stiletto high-heeled sandals (photo above right). They cost a mere $19.99 (original price was $65) and they had my size, so I ordered a pair.

Nice deal!

More Males Modeling Female Attire

(Updated Below) Two years ago, I wondered here how many female models were actually males.

"Urban legend says that some of the fashion models wearing female finery on the catwalks of the fashion world are actually males... Trying to determine which female fashion models, if any, are actually male has been a futile endeavor."

Since writing that post, I have mentioned the few male female models I have learned about, for example, Terri Toye, Martin Cohn, Phillipe Blond, etc.

Yesterday, An Admirer commented on that two-year-old blog post. Unless you happened to be reading that two-year-old post, most of you likely missed the comment, so I am mentioning it here. An Admirer wrote, "I've noticed recently that transgendered girls are all over Model Mayhem ...What's even more interesting is that some admit they are male up front. Wow!"

An Admirer then lists some of the models who admit to being male in their profile.

AlexMariaBez (photo above) is one of those male female models; actually he is an "aspiring" model. Dunno how many of the male models on Model Mayhem are aspiring or actually working models. Regardless, the times they are a changing and more males are likely to join the Martin Cohns and Phillipe Blonds on the runways of the female modeling world.

UPDATE: Since originally posting this blog entry, AlexMariaBez changed her gender on her Model Mayhem profile from "male" to "female." She gave no reason for doing so.

Girl Talk

This morning, I went into the kitchenette at work for a coffee refill and found my female friend, Nan, who knows all about Stana, talking with another woman, Liz, who does not know about Stana, but might suspect something because she saw me crossdressed twice for two company Halloween parties. (I changed their names to protect the innocent.)

Liz was holding up a black cocktail dress and they were discussing the merits of the dress. Naturally, I was all ears.

I was just waiting for Nan to joke with me about the dress because just yesterday, Nan asked me how my never ending diet was going and I told her I had slimmed down from a dress size 18 to a size 14.

Nan said nothing, but smiled at me like the Cheshire Cat.

I was surprised when out-of-the-blue Liz asked me what I thought about the dress!

I did not feign disinterest. Instead, I examined the dress and told her it was very nice, especially for the price ($39 at Marshall's).

I am considering coming out to Liz; I can use another ally.

It's Bazaar!

Nearly two years ago, one of my credit cards offered free subscriptions to a bevy of magazines. The only magazine in the bevy that interested me was Harper's Bazaar. "Sophisticated, elegant and provocative, Harper's Bazaar is the fashion resource for women who are the first to buy the best, from casual to couture." That sounded like me, so I signed up for a free subscription.

When my free subscription was expiring last year, I received a bevy of letters urging me to renew. For my purposes, Harper's Bazaar was a look-book. I'd look at it once to see the fabulous fashions on display inside and then recycle it. A free subscription was suitable, a paid subscription was not, so I ignored the subscription renewal notices.

Guess what? The magazine renewed my subscription for free!

No explanation, no nothing. I assumed that they did not want to lose subscribers, which in turn might cause them to lose advertisers, so they renewed me for gratis.

The 502-page fall fashion issue of Bazaar arrived in the mail this week. Attached to its cover was a notice indicating that it was the last issue of my subscription and that I ought to renew.

I have no plans to renew my subscription, but I wonder if they will renew me again for free.

Next month will tell.

Revisiting Stana's Closet

On Monday, I wrote about my closet. That writing included a photo of my closet with my female clothing hanging on the closet rods and my high heels in shoe boxes stacked on the floor.

Did you notice what was not in my closet?

Me.

I was in the closet for a very long time. From my early teens until I joined a support group in the late 1980s, all my femulations were in the confines of my home (except for a handful of Halloween femulations).

My girl was cooped up in that home closet for almost 20 years, so when I finally attended a support group meeting, it was a breath of fresh air in comparison.

By attending support group meetings, I was out in "public" for the first time. I dressed at home and drove 30 minutes to the support group meeting place. During the drive, I was really out in the public albeit within the enclosure of my automobile.

At the meetings, I will argue that I was also out in "public" because at first, all the other attendees were strangers to me. They were as "public" to me as anyone I might encounter on a city street. Also, the faces of the attendees changed constantly with new folks showing up, while others dropped out, so there was almost always a new public to face at the meetings.

The support group occasionally sponsored outings to local restaurants. The group planned those outings in advance; the restaurants prepared for our outings and usually stuck us in a private room so that the other clientele, the "public," would not disturb us!

I regularly attended support group meetings for about years and was very active in the group editing their newsletter, as well as organizing the group's annual banquet.

After attending support group meetings for five years or so, I realized that the support group meeting hall was just a bigger closet located 30 miles up the Interstate from my home closet, so my girl was itching to get out in public a little farther.

So, I attended my first transgender convention. Now, the closet was huge and encompassed a whole hotel. I had such a wonderful time in the expanded closet that I attended a different trangender convention every year for about five or six years. Then I crashed into a closet wall again and realized that although the trans convention closet was very big, it was still a closet and I was stuck in it.

I considered my situation. I was not getting any younger and if I did not make a real effort to get out of the closet, I would never get out. The only thing preventing me from getting out of the closet was me.

I had a great fear of being recognized by the public as a natal male and being ridiculed (or worse) as a result. And despite a lot of evidence to the contrary that I could pass on occasion, I was sure that as soon as I stuck my high-heeled foot out in public, every civilian who encountered me would know the "truth." But my girl so wanted to go public and finally I made up my mind to do something about it.

On a cool November day four years ago, I shaved, showered, did my makeup, dressed, and drove to the mall. I dressed appropriately to fit in (and not stand out) by wearing a long black tunic sweater, "heather-gray" leggings, and the pant boots, but I sat in my car trying to get up the courage to go inside. After 20 minutes, I made up mind that "it was now or never" and I got out of my car and went into the mall.

My day out had its ups and downs (you can read about it in detail here. Some people read me and reacted in such a way that I knew that they read me, but most of the time, people paid little or no attention to me. So I assumed that (1) most people who read me were polite and did not react or (2) most people who read me did not care and did not react or (3) I passed.

In any case, I was out of the closet and it felt wonderful. That alone would have made my day, but my visit to Sephora was icing on the cake.

I sought some makeup advice, so I went to Sephora for a consultation. The consultant could not have been nicer. While she was experimenting with my face, I mentioned that I had beard cover under my foundation and that the reason I was wearing beard cover was because I was crossdressing.

I probably did not have to tell her I was crossdressing because up close and personal, she probably detected that fact. No matter, she said to me, "You only have one life to live and you should live it like you want. If someone has a problem, then it is their problem, not yours."

Wow! That was an epiphany!

Throughout my life, I always worried about what other people would think of me and if someone had a problem with me, I thought it was my fault, that is, I had done something wrong. The Sephora consultant turned that philosophy on its head and I realized that as long as I am not hurting anyone, I should live my life as I want to live it.

I felt so free!

After that, whenever the opportunity arose, I went out in public en femme. Shopping, shows, dining, outreach, seminars, a four-day stay in Manhattan, etc., over the past four years, I have embraced every opportunity to go out en femme and in the process, I discovered some important things.

The more I went out in public en femme, the more I passed. I was no longer nervous about going out en femme. Instead, I was relaxed and acted more naturally and people who might have read me, ignored me because I was not drawing attention to myself.

The more I went out en femme, I realized that being en femme was the real me. I no longer had to concentrate on femulating. Just acting as myself was more than enough because there was no longer a need to act as a woman because I really was a woman all along, but it took a long time to realize it.

Closets are for clothing, not people, so I urge you all to get out of the closet and be the woman you want to be. Maybe you will discover that you are a plain vanilla crossdresser or maybe you will discover that you have really been a woman all along.

By the way, the photo above shows me standing outside of my closet.

Womanless Archive and More Fave Photos

In the past, a very popular topic here has been the coverage of womanless beauty pageants, fashion shows, and other public events in which "civilian males" impersonate women. ("Civilian males" are non-professional female impersonators.)

Some readers suggested compiling a list of all the womanless events mentioned in past installments of Femulate, so I created the Womanless Archive that you can access here.

Also, I added more photos to my new favorite photos web page.

Tall Notices

It has been three months since our last Famous Females of Height List update, so it's about time for another.

While watching the film Final Destination, I noticed 5'8" Ali Larter, a film and television actress.

Regular contributor Peaches noticed 5'9" Mary Elizabeth Winstead, a film actress of Scott Pilgrim and Sky High fame.

SoCalSecrets noticed 6'0" Sandra Gal, a professional golfer, whose image appears in this post.

By the way, I noticed that Bettina Wulff, Germany's First Lady, is tall, but how tall? I have been unsuccessful in determining her height. If anyone can provide that information, please do.

Updating My Femulate Web Pages

I reworked my femulate web pages. Rearranged some pages, updated others, and even deleted a few. I also added one new page, which you may like to check out: my favorite photos, which replaces an old page of the same name.

I will continue reworking the pages and keep you posted as to anything new.

Stana's Closet

My wife and I "share" a walk-in closet off our bedroom. I write "share" because she uses four racks for her wardrobe and I use one rack! To make matters worse, my one rack contains both my male and female wardrobes.

Pictured above is the east half of my one rack. Two thirds of that half (or one-third of the whole rack) now contains my female stuff, which is slowly, but surely taking up more space and forcing me to thin out my male stuff.

The shoe boxes on the floor contain my high heels. The 12 visible boxes are just the tip of the iceberg; there are two more rows of shoe boxes storing heels behind the visible boxes.

The tackle box to the right of the shoe boxes contains my makeup.

To the right of the tackle box (out of the view of this photo) are five cardboard boxes. One box houses clear storage boxes that contain my bangles and beads. The other four boxes contain my unmentionables, hosiery, purses, wallets, scarves, etc.

Two additional boxes sit on a shelf in the closet. One contains my wigs; the other contains sundry of other items that make my femulation possible, as well as passable.

The belt rack on the wall to the left contains mostly female belts, after all, how many belts does a guy need?

My winter outerwear hangs in a closet in the spare bedroom. When the cold weather moves in, I move my winter coats du jour from the spare bedroom closet to our walk-in closet. To accomplish that this year, I will have to move the warm weather female stuff to the spare bedroom closet.

Such is the closet of an active femulator!

My Story – Part 2

Click on the image to enlarge it.

After posting My Life – Part 1, one of my blog readers asked if it was true. I assure you that all “My Life” postings are true.

With regards to my Mom acknowledging my femininity in Part 1, I don’t know if she was intentionally trying to make a woman out of me, but on countless occasions, she pointed out physical characteristics of mine that she thought were feminine. Intentional or not, her words stuck with me and probably had some affect on my psyche.

Regarding the image above, I admit that I never looked like the leggy blond in the image above, but the spoken words above are true or in close proximity thereof. And the same circumstances occurred on more than one Halloween occasion.

Girls’ Night Out Last Night

My girls’ night out last night was fun!

(That’s me in the photo just before I left the house.)

I met Diana at the Real Art Ways parking lot. She left her car there and I drove our mini-carpool to downtown Hartford to dine at Vito’s restaurant.

We found a parking place on the street right in front of Vito’s and when we entered the restaurant, we discovered that we were the first diners of the evening.

Our beautiful waitress, Ashley, addressed us as ladies and she could not have been more pleasant. I had their “Fiocchi Pasta,” which is
stuffed with four cheeses and pears in a sweet and spicy cream sauce. It was excellent.

The restaurant was very quiet. We were the only diners most of the time; a few diners finally trickled in just before we left the premises.

The last time I dined at Vito’s on a Thursday evening a few years ago, the place was near capacity attendance, so the contrast was stark. However, a party of 40 had reservations last night, so I expect things got livelier after we departed.

Back to Real Art ways for their monthly “Creative Cocktail Hour” and we were first in line to pay to enter.

We bought drinks, viewed the artwork that was on display, then we staked out a table where we sat, chatted, and people-watched for about an hour. A few old friends came by and we renewed acquaintances.

Then we bought another round of drinks (non-alcoholic, by the way) and went outside on the patio to get some fresh air.

One of my blog readers recognized me and introduced herself as a daily reader and fan of the blog. I was happy she stopped to say “hello,” because it is always great to meet one of my readers in person.

The trans crowd was not. Last few times I attended the “Hour,” there were usually a dozen or so transgirls present. Last night, I counted six including myself. Go figure!

Throughout the evening, I noted my interaction with the civilians. Males would look at me and nothing more. On the other hand, if I caught the eye of a female, she would invariably smile and I would returned the smile and if she was close enough, I would say “hello” and she might return the greeting, but nothing more.

As our evening wound down, we sat on a wall-length bench outside the main exhibit area next to a female couple. After awhile, Diana decided to leave, but I wanted to hang on for a little while longer, so I remained seated.

Shortly thereafter, while one member of the female couple was off doing something, the other female engaged me in conversation. Turns out she is the partner of the woman whose art exhibit had opened last night. They are from Brooklyn and we chatted about NYC and Connecticut, etcetera, etcetera.

We had a pleasant chat for about 15 minutes. As we were running out of things to talk about, I decided it was a good time to gracefully exit the premises because it was approaching my bedtime and I had to get up at 5:45 AM. So I excused myself, thanked her for the conversation, and worked my way through the crowd to my Subaru awaiting me outside.

The evening out was superb and I look forward to my next outing en femme.

Girls’ Night Out Tonight

Hartford is the destination for my girls’ night out tonight where I will meet my friend Diana for dinner at a restaurant downtown. After dinner, we will enjoy an after dinner drink (or two) at Real Art Ways’ monthly Creative Cocktail Hour.

It should be fun and I am looking forward to another opportunity to be en femme.

My Story – Part 1

When the Shoe (High Heel) Is on the Other Foot

Click on the image to enlarge it.