My Story – Part 1

When the Shoe (High Heel) Is on the Other Foot

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Failures in Femulation : Bad Hair Daze

This is the first in a series about the major errors femulators make in their presentations that detract from their femulations, in my humble opinion. In addition to pointing out the\ errors, I will explain how to avoid and/or correct them.

Caveat emptor: I have no formal training in the arts related to femulation. However, I do have over 45 years experience practicing those arts and have become so adept at them that I pass more often than not.

Inexpensive wigs are attractive to femulators because they are inexpensive. Their attractiveness ends there because a cheap wig by any other name is still a cheap wig.

When you wear a cheap wig, there is no fooling anyone that the hair on your head is fake. And when people see that you are wearing a wig, they might examine you more closely and find other clues that give away your natal gender.

I have owned a few cheap wigs in my time and I have photos wearing those cheap wigs that convinced me to go upscale in the wig department. “Upscale” meant spending $99 rather than $49 for a wig.

It was an improvement, but not good enough. A $99 wig was still relatively inexpensive for a wig (it was just more expensive "cheap" wigs).

Also, I did not know what wig was best for me. I tried different styles, different lengths, and different colors, but always avoided blond shades and short lengths.

I avoided blonds because I thought that blond was oh so drag. All the boys who wanted to be girls wanted to be blond girls.

Also, I avoided short lengths because I thought my head was too big to be properly covered with a short wig.

A trip to a pro convinced me otherwise.

Annually, a local wig shop hosts a meeting of my support group. A few years ago, I was the hostess, which meant that I showed up early to bring the refreshments. I had no intention of buying a wig; it was just another opportunity to be out en femme, so I was happy to be the hostess and not necessarily a wig customer.

We had an excellent turn-out and new wigs were flying out the door throughout the evening. As things were winding down, the wig shop owner, Kathy, said it was my turn. She sat me down at a mirror and went to the back room to fetch a wig she thought would be perfect for me.

A few minutes later, she returned with a short blond wig.

I thought to myself, "Oh no; she's is making a mistake."

She pulled the wig over my head, finger-combed it a bit, and then let me look in the mirror.

In a very soft voice, I said, "Oh, my god!"

The wig looked absolutely fabulous on me and I did not think twice about purchasing it.

That wig (“Ryan” by Noriko) cost about $333, but it was worth every penny. It pushed my femulation skills up a few notches.

I lost count how many times people complimented me about my hair and how many times those same people were shocked to find out I was wearing a wig. (I never received such reactions wearing my $99 wigs.)

So the bottom line is (1) seek out a professional wig seller for advice concerning the best wig color, style and length for you and (2) be willing to spend much more than $99 for a wig.

The Million Dollar Question

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Boys' Girls' Night Out

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It’s not underwear anymore… it’s lingerie

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The Highness of Heels

I love high heels.

The majority of my shoes are high heels and most of my heels are three to four inches in height.

I am very adept at walking in high heels.

I never had a problem walking in heels. From the first day I started wearing heels when I was a teenager, I took to them like a duck takes to webbed feet. I only wish that all my heels were as comfortable as I am walking in them.

That being said, the fall shoe styles have been showing up in the usual places on the Internet and I am in awe at the highness of this fall's heels. I cannot recall such a proliferation of heels over four inches in height (except maybe on the fetish shoe sales web sites). Lots of 4-1/2 heels and some topping the 5-inch mark on such non-fetish web sites as Spiegel, Newport-News, Metrostyle, Payless, Norstrom, Macy's, etcetera, etcetera.

The "new arrivals" at Newport-News (pictured above) are typical. From left to right is their patent stiletto platform pumps" with a 4-1/2-inch heel, a T-strap sandal with a 4-1/2-inch heel, a cutout ankle boot with a 5-inch heel, and a sequined platform pump with a 5-inch heel.

I really like the cutout ankle boot, but can I handle a 5-inch heel? One thing for sure: at 6'7", I would be outstanding in my heels!

Stop Sam the Clam Caligiuri

I do not mix politics with this blog unless it has a direct connection with transgender issues, so bear with me as I step onto the soapbox today.

Yesterday, Connecticut State Senator Sam "the Clam" Caligiuri won the Republican primary for the Fifth US Congressional District of Connecticut.

I live in the Fifth Congressional District that Sam the Clam would like to represent and I also live in the Connecticut State Senate district that Sam the Clam currently represents, so I have been following his political career closely over the years.

Sam the Clam would never get my vote because his political views represent the worst of the teabag wing of the GOP (Gang of Privateers). Normally, I would just cast my vote against the guy and not get into a discourse here or anywhere else about why I voted against him, but Sam the Clam is special; Sam the Clam has his guns sighted on the trans community and he must be stopped.

Sam the Clam has consistently voted against state legislation that protects the rights of transgenders.

In May 2007, the Connecticut State Senate passed the gender anti-discrimination bill by a 30-4 margin (it died in the State House of Representatives). Sam the Clam voted against it. He also voted against the bill when it came up for a vote in his committee (the Education Committee).

Based on his track record, Sam the Clam will vote against the protection of transgender rights if he has an opportunity to do so in the future. So, we must stop him from having another opportunity.

On the other hand, the man Sam the Clam is running against, Congressman Chris Murphy, has been a consistent supporter of transgender rights and deserves the support of the trans community of the Fifth Congressional District of Connecticut.

Please Stop Sam the Clam and vote for Chris Murphy.

So why "Sam the Clam"?

Strike One

When Sam was running for State Senate, he happened to be campaigning outside the local IGA one day when I happened to be grocery shopping. On the way into the IGA, I took his campaign literature and perused it while I shopped.

I noticed that nowhere in his campaign literature did it mention which political party he represented. This was during the darkest days of the Bush-Cheney administration and GOP candidates everywhere were trying to distance themselves as far away as possible from the frat boy in the White House. Sam the Clam was no different.

On the way out of the IGA, I asked Sam what party he represented because his campaign literature was lacking that information. Sam clammed up, refused to answer my question, and proceeded to ignore me.

Strike Two

When the the gender anti-discrimination bill was up for a vote, I wrote Sam a heartfelt letter asking him to support the bill.

I did not get a response until many months later. His response avoided the issues. Instead, he apologized for losing my letter and being unable to respond to it in a timely manner.

I did not have to wait for strike three; after strike two, Sam became "Sam the Clam" as far as I was concerned.

More Opportunities

Always on the lookout for opportunities to be a complete woman, I have added two new dates to my calendar.

Next Thursday, I plan to take the afternoon off to dine at a nice restaurant in downtown Hartford and after dinner, swing over to the monthly Creative Cocktail Hour at Real Art Ways.

About a half-dozen years ago, a group of us girls decided to break ground by attending the Creative Cocktail Hour. Since Real Art Ways was an artists' enclave, we figured the atmosphere would be diverse enough for us transgirls to fit in, so we took a chance. Turned out that we were accepted with open arms.

The Hour has become a regular place for transgirls to go and be seen every third Thursday and you can count on a dozen or so of us to show up every month. Truth is, I have not attended The Hour in over a year and I am looking forward to getting reacquainted.

My next opportunity is a one-day photography seminar that I will attend next month in Hartford. It is 10 AM to 5 PM event with a one-hour lunch break.

In addition to other tasks, I am also the on-staff photographer here at work, so I am attending the seminar to help improve my photographing skills.

One more thing... I heard a rumor that my workplace is doing something Halloweeny this year. If that's the case, I plan to costume up as something girlish (and maybe ghoulish) for that event.

Pinned by Mrs. P

All is not perfect with my new "Chanel" suit.

It fits fine, but the skirt is not a "flatterring straight shape" as advertised (or as pictured right). It flares out from the waist and is much wider at the hemline than the waistline. It looks nothing like the skirt of a traditional Chanel suit, which in my opinion is more like a pencil skirt.

The suit was so inexpensive that I decided to invest a little more money into it and get it altered to my liking.

I Googled "clothing alterations" in my area, which resulted in a bunch of shops that I knew nothing about. So I began reading their reviews.

I was sold after I read with this review:

"Mrs. P is such a joy to work with. She is funny and passionate, and she is very talented with her work. She takes her business very seriously, and she doesn't give customers the 'run around.'. I had never been to a seamstress before, and the garment I brought her was extremely delicate. She took amazing care of me and my dress, and she always kept me informed of what she thought should be done. What's even better is that she doesn't play games: she will tell you what your options are, and what she can and can't do. I highly suggest Mrs. P's Tailor Shop to everyone."

The shop is less than 3 miles from work, so I stopped by today during my lunch hour.

The description of Mrs. P in the review was right on the money.

I told her what I wanted and she pinned the skirt to make it narrower.

She assumed that the skirt was for my wife and I corrected her.

Without missing a beat, she told me to put it on so she could pin it up exactly like I wanted it. Good thing because when I tried it on after her first pinning, it was not as narrow as I wanted.

She pinned it up again and it was better, but still not where I wanted it. She said she could make it narrower, but I may have a little difficulty walking in it.

Yes! That's what I wanted, so she pinned it up again and I was happy.

Mrs. P was very accommodating and she said I could have it on Friday if I needed it for this weekend, but I told her there was no rush, so she will have it ready for me on Monday.

May 14, 2010, Dayton, Ohio

Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys

Vintage Pattern Patter 2

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Vintage Pattern Patter

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Memory Lane

While poking the Internet looking for trans-related stuff, I occasionally come upon images from Deviantart. Weeks ago, when I viewed my umpteenth Deviantart trans-related image, I decided to check out the web site for myself and in doing so, I found a motherlode of trans-related art, photos, and texts. (For example, a search on the word "crossdress" on Deviantart turned up over 11 thousand items!)

Anime, manga, role-playing, cosplay, etc. dominate Deviantart. Since I am not very familiar with those worlds, some of the references escaped me, but crossdressing is crossdressing and I appreciate the trans-related Deviantart works nonetheless.

After spending hours browsing Deviantart, I decided that my favorite work is a piece created by rocketdave titled Memory Lane. Its caption reads, “As he feared, introducing his girlfriend to his mother results in the revelation of certain aspects of his childhood he would have preferred remain buried.”

Memory Lane appears at the top of this blog.

Thursday Hot Pants

For the sake of variety, I bring you Thursday Hot Pants (instead of Thursday Shorts).

Bad News: Again, I tried on the dress I bought at Macy's on Monday and decided to return it for a refund. It was a bit tight in the bustline afterall and for the amount I paid for it (full retail), it had better be a perfect fit.

Good News: Dress Barn called and the dress I fell in love with (the midnight blue leather-like sheath) arrived at the my favorite Dress Barn store in my size. I picked it up during lunch and now I can't wait for the right occasion to wear it out.

By the way, the receipt for the dress says its "Retro Satin Portrait: Charcoal," so I assume "Retro Portrait" refers to its retro portrait collar and charcoal is what I called "midnight blue" (I was never very good with colors). Except for the color, my new dress is very similar to the dress pictured right.

Lash News: I went through all the photos that I took Monday trying to find one that displayed my amazing eyelash growth best. The best of the bunch is at the top of this post. It really does not do my lashes justice, so next time I makeup my face, I plan to get a better photo.

A Bad Fit

Meg of Call Me Meg blog fame asked me if I had seen the Slate article about the summer camp for transgender kids.

I had not, so I read it and was in awe.

Meg's comment about the article was "It makes me wonder how my life would've been different..."

For me, I don't have to wonder.

If there had been a transgender camp for kids when I was young and if my parents had sent me to that camp, I have no doubt that I would have lived my life as a woman.

Instead of transgender camp, my parents sent me to Young Marines camp where I did not fit in and was shunned by my fellow Young Marines and the elders who ran the organization.

I guess it was my parents' attempt to make a man out of me, but I hated every minute of being a Young Marine because it was such a bad fit. I tried to be a good soldier, but I just did not fit in.

I would have preferred joining an organization like the Boy's Auxiliary of the Girl Scouts where I would have flourished, but such an organization only existed in my dreams and I had to suffer as a Young Marine until I quit.

To Be Complete

Yesterday was another wonderful day out en femme and it began on a very positive note.

It was the first time I wore a full application of makeup since I began using the ANEW Lash-Transforming Mascara + Serum from Avon. A “full application of makeup " means at least two coats of mascara (because I always miss a few eyelashes applying the first coat).

After the second coat, I couldn't believe my eyes! No exaggeration: my eyelashes were so full and long that it looked like I was wearing false eyelashes. Even without mascara, I could tell that the lash serum was working, but I had no idea to what extent it was working until yesterday. Wow!

I was out the door about 9:15 AM wearing my short black bubble skirt, black and white animal print blouse, black and white strappy high heel sandals, suntan pantyhose, silver jewelry, and a black and white purse.

The skirt was most definitely short exposing about six inches of leg above my knees. Some people will say that I was not dressing for my age. Those people are correct, I was not dressing for my age, rather I was dressing to feel good. It was a beautiful summer day and the day made me feel young again, plus I have nice legs, so I said to myself, "You go, girl" and I did.

Throughout the day, I did not receive a discouraging word about my appearance. On the contrary, one of the students at outreach wrote in her comments, "Stana looked great!" and one of the other outreach presenters wrote on Facebook that I looked "stunning."

An uneventful 30-minute drive found me on the campus of Southern Connecticut State University, but the parking lot where I usually park was closed, so I had to try the next parking lot, which is manned by manly security guards, who I would rather avoid, if possible, when I am en femme.

I pulled up to the security kiosk and one of the security guards saddled up to my Subaru, "Can I help you, Ma'am?"

In my breathiest voice, I explained my parking needs. (I find that speaking with my normal voice in a breathy manner is very effective for femulating.)

He was very solicitous and I think he would have parked the car for me if I had asked!

I parked the car, checked my makeup in the rear view mirror, and exited. I had about 40 minutes to kill before class, so I poked around the campus looking for a photogenic spot where I could set up my camera with a 10-second timer and pose for a few self-photos.

I found a hallway in a classroom building with a colorful mural background on one wall and benches on the opposite wall where I could set up my camera. I took a few photos (like the one accompanying this post) and headed to the classroom to do outreach.

We had six presenters for outreach for a Human Sexuality class of ten students. We six each gave a brief bio and then we broke up into three groups to do Q&A with the students.

Don't know if it was a lack of caffeine or the mid-summer "why am I in school during the summer" blues, but the students did not have many questions averaging just one question per group. So we talked more about ourselves and our experiences, hoping that our words would draw some more questions out of the students, but it didn't.

Personally, the Q&A was disappointing, but I hope our words helped the students get a better understanding of the citizens of the Trans Nation.

After outreach, Professor Schildroth and four of us presenters dined at a restaurant on Whalley Avenue in New Haven. Last time we ate there after outreach, one of the presenters mentioned to me that while we were seated in the restaurant, the whole restaurant staff came out to gawk at us. (I missed it because my back was to them.)

So, I was on the alert for anything untoward, but no one seemed to pay us any mind… not the staff or the other diners. The waiter referred to us as "guys," but he did that at the other tables he waited which also had female diners, so I assume he was not making any statements about us.

The food and conversation were very good and we parted ways about 2 PM.

There are a lot of shopping opportunities on the route back home, so I decided to take advantage of those shop ops.

First stop was Dress Barn in Hamden. I poked around and found a very interesting number: a simple sheath dress with a cross-over of material at the bustline. What was interesting was the material: a soft midnight blue colored material that looked like leather (for $39, I know it was not leather).

The largest size on the rack was 14, but it looked like it might fit when I held the dress up to myself in the mirror. So I was off to dressing room to try it on.

I slipped the dress on and it was gorgeous! Its soft leather-like material clung to my curves and its hem was just above my knees, but I could only get the zipper up half way. Darn!

So my next stop was another Dress Barn 15 minutes up the parkway. This particular Dress Barn is my usual Dress Barn, where I am known en femme and en homme.

I searched the store and could not find the dress. A saleswoman came to my aid. I described the dress to her and she eventually found one (and only one) on the rack, a size 10, but she saved the day by telling me she would get one in my size and give me a call when it came in.

While I was searching, a 20-something female customer was checking me out and smiled at me when I caught her eye. Later, I saw her with another 20-something female customer; both were checking me out and both smiled again when I caught their eyes. Were they checking out the "tranny" or admiring my fantastic fashion sense? I like to believe the latter, so that's my story and I'm sticking with it.

My next stop was Macy's in the Meriden mall. When I was shopping there with my wife ten days ago, I saw some items that caught my eye, so I wanted to check them out en femme.

Macy's was very quiet (except for the click-click-click of my high heels on their wooden floor) and I had the dress department to myself. I perused all the racks and found a dress that retro (and you know how I like retro).

I tried it on, it fit, and I bought it, but now I am having buyer's remorse because when I looked at the snapshots I took trying on the dress in the dressing room, it looks too tight around the bustline. So I will try it on again at home and decide whether to keep it or not.

After Macy's, I called it a day and what a wonderful day it was! When I dressed in the morning, I felt so euphoric and that feeling stayed with me throughout the day. Dressing completed me and it was wonderful to be complete.

Monday shorts

I am out en femme today, doing outreach in the morning, dining out for lunch, and don't know what (maybe shopping) in the afternoon.

My New Suit Again

Contrary to what I wrote here on Friday, the "Chanel suit" did not "fit perfectly."

I tried it on quickly Thursday evening just to see if it was big enough. It was and I assumed it was a good fit.

I tried it on again Friday evening with a bra and girdle on underneath and the jacket and blouse were too big (the skirt was fine), so I ordered the next smaller size and shipped the two too big items back.

My Outreach Wear Again

Contrary to what I wrote here on Friday, I am not wearing a white short-sleeved T and a black pencil skirt with a wide black patent belt today.

I changed my mind (a woman's prerogative) and in consideration of this year's long hot summer, I am wearing something more comfortable, that is, something looser and not so clingy. (A photo or two will appear here as soon as possible.)

Didn't the his and hers bra and panties give it away?

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