A Bad Fit

Meg of Call Me Meg blog fame asked me if I had seen the Slate article about the summer camp for transgender kids.

I had not, so I read it and was in awe.

Meg's comment about the article was "It makes me wonder how my life would've been different..."

For me, I don't have to wonder.

If there had been a transgender camp for kids when I was young and if my parents had sent me to that camp, I have no doubt that I would have lived my life as a woman.

Instead of transgender camp, my parents sent me to Young Marines camp where I did not fit in and was shunned by my fellow Young Marines and the elders who ran the organization.

I guess it was my parents' attempt to make a man out of me, but I hated every minute of being a Young Marine because it was such a bad fit. I tried to be a good soldier, but I just did not fit in.

I would have preferred joining an organization like the Boy's Auxiliary of the Girl Scouts where I would have flourished, but such an organization only existed in my dreams and I had to suffer as a Young Marine until I quit.

To Be Complete

Yesterday was another wonderful day out en femme and it began on a very positive note.

It was the first time I wore a full application of makeup since I began using the ANEW Lash-Transforming Mascara + Serum from Avon. A “full application of makeup " means at least two coats of mascara (because I always miss a few eyelashes applying the first coat).

After the second coat, I couldn't believe my eyes! No exaggeration: my eyelashes were so full and long that it looked like I was wearing false eyelashes. Even without mascara, I could tell that the lash serum was working, but I had no idea to what extent it was working until yesterday. Wow!

I was out the door about 9:15 AM wearing my short black bubble skirt, black and white animal print blouse, black and white strappy high heel sandals, suntan pantyhose, silver jewelry, and a black and white purse.

The skirt was most definitely short exposing about six inches of leg above my knees. Some people will say that I was not dressing for my age. Those people are correct, I was not dressing for my age, rather I was dressing to feel good. It was a beautiful summer day and the day made me feel young again, plus I have nice legs, so I said to myself, "You go, girl" and I did.

Throughout the day, I did not receive a discouraging word about my appearance. On the contrary, one of the students at outreach wrote in her comments, "Stana looked great!" and one of the other outreach presenters wrote on Facebook that I looked "stunning."

An uneventful 30-minute drive found me on the campus of Southern Connecticut State University, but the parking lot where I usually park was closed, so I had to try the next parking lot, which is manned by manly security guards, who I would rather avoid, if possible, when I am en femme.

I pulled up to the security kiosk and one of the security guards saddled up to my Subaru, "Can I help you, Ma'am?"

In my breathiest voice, I explained my parking needs. (I find that speaking with my normal voice in a breathy manner is very effective for femulating.)

He was very solicitous and I think he would have parked the car for me if I had asked!

I parked the car, checked my makeup in the rear view mirror, and exited. I had about 40 minutes to kill before class, so I poked around the campus looking for a photogenic spot where I could set up my camera with a 10-second timer and pose for a few self-photos.

I found a hallway in a classroom building with a colorful mural background on one wall and benches on the opposite wall where I could set up my camera. I took a few photos (like the one accompanying this post) and headed to the classroom to do outreach.

We had six presenters for outreach for a Human Sexuality class of ten students. We six each gave a brief bio and then we broke up into three groups to do Q&A with the students.

Don't know if it was a lack of caffeine or the mid-summer "why am I in school during the summer" blues, but the students did not have many questions averaging just one question per group. So we talked more about ourselves and our experiences, hoping that our words would draw some more questions out of the students, but it didn't.

Personally, the Q&A was disappointing, but I hope our words helped the students get a better understanding of the citizens of the Trans Nation.

After outreach, Professor Schildroth and four of us presenters dined at a restaurant on Whalley Avenue in New Haven. Last time we ate there after outreach, one of the presenters mentioned to me that while we were seated in the restaurant, the whole restaurant staff came out to gawk at us. (I missed it because my back was to them.)

So, I was on the alert for anything untoward, but no one seemed to pay us any mind… not the staff or the other diners. The waiter referred to us as "guys," but he did that at the other tables he waited which also had female diners, so I assume he was not making any statements about us.

The food and conversation were very good and we parted ways about 2 PM.

There are a lot of shopping opportunities on the route back home, so I decided to take advantage of those shop ops.

First stop was Dress Barn in Hamden. I poked around and found a very interesting number: a simple sheath dress with a cross-over of material at the bustline. What was interesting was the material: a soft midnight blue colored material that looked like leather (for $39, I know it was not leather).

The largest size on the rack was 14, but it looked like it might fit when I held the dress up to myself in the mirror. So I was off to dressing room to try it on.

I slipped the dress on and it was gorgeous! Its soft leather-like material clung to my curves and its hem was just above my knees, but I could only get the zipper up half way. Darn!

So my next stop was another Dress Barn 15 minutes up the parkway. This particular Dress Barn is my usual Dress Barn, where I am known en femme and en homme.

I searched the store and could not find the dress. A saleswoman came to my aid. I described the dress to her and she eventually found one (and only one) on the rack, a size 10, but she saved the day by telling me she would get one in my size and give me a call when it came in.

While I was searching, a 20-something female customer was checking me out and smiled at me when I caught her eye. Later, I saw her with another 20-something female customer; both were checking me out and both smiled again when I caught their eyes. Were they checking out the "tranny" or admiring my fantastic fashion sense? I like to believe the latter, so that's my story and I'm sticking with it.

My next stop was Macy's in the Meriden mall. When I was shopping there with my wife ten days ago, I saw some items that caught my eye, so I wanted to check them out en femme.

Macy's was very quiet (except for the click-click-click of my high heels on their wooden floor) and I had the dress department to myself. I perused all the racks and found a dress that retro (and you know how I like retro).

I tried it on, it fit, and I bought it, but now I am having buyer's remorse because when I looked at the snapshots I took trying on the dress in the dressing room, it looks too tight around the bustline. So I will try it on again at home and decide whether to keep it or not.

After Macy's, I called it a day and what a wonderful day it was! When I dressed in the morning, I felt so euphoric and that feeling stayed with me throughout the day. Dressing completed me and it was wonderful to be complete.

Monday shorts

I am out en femme today, doing outreach in the morning, dining out for lunch, and don't know what (maybe shopping) in the afternoon.

My New Suit Again

Contrary to what I wrote here on Friday, the "Chanel suit" did not "fit perfectly."

I tried it on quickly Thursday evening just to see if it was big enough. It was and I assumed it was a good fit.

I tried it on again Friday evening with a bra and girdle on underneath and the jacket and blouse were too big (the skirt was fine), so I ordered the next smaller size and shipped the two too big items back.

My Outreach Wear Again

Contrary to what I wrote here on Friday, I am not wearing a white short-sleeved T and a black pencil skirt with a wide black patent belt today.

I changed my mind (a woman's prerogative) and in consideration of this year's long hot summer, I am wearing something more comfortable, that is, something looser and not so clingy. (A photo or two will appear here as soon as possible.)

Didn't the his and hers bra and panties give it away?

Click on the image for a bigger laugh.

"Wow!"

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Shorts

My New Suit

My "Chanel suit" arrived in yesterday's mail from Jessica London and it fit perfectly.

It helped that the jacket and skirt were separate sales items, so I was able to order the jacket in one size and the skirt in another size.

My top and bottom are not the same size. My top is bigger, so if I buy a dress or a suit that is not composed of separate sales items, I order the size that will fit my top, which often results in room to spare in the bottom.

I’ve thought about padding my bottom to fill in the spare room, but I have not resorted to that yet.

Outreach Wear

I'd love to wear my new suit when I do outreach on Monday, but the suit is tweed and fully lined, so it would be much too warm wear it now, (The temperature around here has been in the 80s and 90s for most of the month with humidity all over the place.)

Instead, I plan to wear a white short-sleeved T and a black pencil skirt with a wide black patent belt. I will accessorize with my black and white bag and black and white high heel sandals. I will have a photo to post here early next week.

Femulate Her and The Femulated Images

Regular readers of this blog know that every day I change the "Femulate Her:" and "The Femulated:" images in the left sidebar. However, I liked the current combination of Heidi Klum and Chris Williams so much that I decided to leave them be for another day.

And thank the Goddess, it's Friday!

Opportunities Redux

Last week, I wrote about upcoming opportunities to go out en femme.
The first opportunity was to go out one day during my mini-vacation.

Lately, my wife has been frustrated shopping for clothes and thought that she might have more success at consignment shops. I offered to take her to the consignment shops in the area and asked her if she would mind if I accompanied her en femme so I could better enjoy the consignment shopping experience.

(For a long time, I have been plotting on how to get my wife to get to know Stana better. One way I came up with was to go out shopping together as girls. I have been sitting on this idea for a long time trying to get the courage to spring it on her.)

Amazingly, she had no problem with me dressing en femme to go shopping with her. She was only concerned that I should wear clothing that I could take off and put back on easily when trying on clothing at the shops.

Our plan was to hit the consignment shops on Tuesday.

Monday afternoon, my daughter's car died. AAA towed it to our mechanic, but he said he would not be able to look at it until Tuesday.

My daughter needed her car for her job. So Tuesday, we had to wait around for the mechanic to fix her car and when fixed, I had to drive my daughter to the garage so she could get the car for work. That meant I could not get dressed en femme until I returned home because my daughter, although very supportive, does not want to be seen locally in public with Stana.

By the time the car was ready, it was too late and we cancelled out plans to go shopping. I did not feel badly about missing the opportunity to go out en femme. The shopping trip was insignificant, but the fact that my wife agreed to go out with me en femme was very significant.

But What About Me?

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Only a Real Man

Simplicity Male Dress Patterns (circa 1965)

A Dream Come True

Click on the image to increase your enjoyment!

Nice Suit (Nice Price)

If you read this blog regularly, you know that I am a fashionista, that is, "a woman with a penchant for shopping and a natural flair for combining both current and vintage fashionable trends."

Yeah, that description fits me to a tee or should that be "T"?

I love the classic fashions from the past like the "Chanel suit," a timeless classic introduced way back in the mid-1920's. It is still for sale today and I would love to own one, but I would have to spend about $5000 for a new Chanel suit off the rack, which is a little out of my price range. So I keep an eye out for Chanel suit knock-offs.

Jessica London had one for sale (photo right) earlier this year for $145 ($90 for the jacket and $55 for the skirt).

I seriously considered ordering it, but I was reluctant to spend even that amount of money and forgot about it.

Thursday, I received a new catalog from Jessica London and the suit was in the clearance section for $45 ($25 for the jacket and $20 for the skirt). That was more to my liking, so Friday morning , I ordered the suit on line along with the ivory satin blouse they were showing with the suit (the blouse cost $13).

Minutes after I completed the order, I received an e-mail offer Jessica London: $25 off any order over $50.

My suit and blouse order totaled $58 (excluding shipping), so I called customer service, explained what had happened, and they granted me the $25 discount. So for $33 (excluding shipping), I bought a Chanel suit knock-off and satin blouse.

They shipped my order on Friday and now I anxiously await its arrival.

"Nice shirt, by the way."

Back in the spring, when I informed Human Resources that I am transgender, I actually informed the HR Director of the division of the company that employs me. The HR rep for our location was out on that day and the Director, who happens to have her office in our building, was sitting in for our local rep.

Let me tell you about the our local HR rep. She is a drop-dead gorgeous blond in her late 20s. She seemed to be friendly with some co-workers, but she was always aloof with me.

For example, whenever I encountered her and said "Hello Mandy," she rarely said, "Hello Stan." Usually just a cold "Hello" and sometimes not even a "Hello."

Things changed dramatically after I came out to HR. The HR Director informed our local rep about my transness because I am our local rep's direct "problem," not the HR Director's problem.

Anyway, after coming out to HR, our local HR rep became downright friendly and she never misses calling me by my name when we exchange Hello's.

Today, I wore a shirt that has a blue floral print. I bought it in the men's department of Wal*Mart, so I know it is a male shirt. However, there is no doubting its floral design and some guys might shun such a shirt as being too feminine or at least, too diverse.

Anyway, I ran into our location HR rep today, said "Hello Mandy."

She replied, "Hello Stan" and then she added, "Nice shirt, by the way."

I was very surprised by her compliment and thanked her for it.

Go figure.

Maybe she feels that I am safe now. I am just one of the girls and no longer one of those guys who would like to bed her.

And so it went.

Opportunities

I went to Dress Barn in drag to check out their 50% clearance sale. The Dress Barn staff knows me en femme and en homme and greeted me like an old friend.

Sadly, the pickings were slim and I did nor find anything of interest in my size. There were some new fall items on display that caught my eye, but I was looking for summer wear because I have some summertime opportunities to go out en femme coming up.

Next week, I am taking a mini-vacation and on whatever day I am free of family obligations, I will go out en femme. Not sure what I am going to do, but whatever it is, it will be as a lady.

The following week, I will be doing outreach for a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University. This is the same outreach gig that I have been doing for years, however, this is the first time I've done it during the summer; all the previous gigs were during the fall and spring semesters.

Next month, I may attend another ham radio convention en femme. Unlike the Dayton Ohio Hamvention I attended in May, which is an international event attracting 20 to 30,000 attendees, next month’s event is a regional convention, the biennial New England ham radio convention in Boxboro, Mass, which attracts about 1,000 attendees. I have made no definite plans yet, but it is on my radar.

Transsexual Model Bares All in French Vogue

According to Broadsheet in Salon, “When Givenchy's head designer cast his personal assistant, Lea T., in a print ad for the brand, it sparked a frenzy of interest. Calls for interviews and modeling gigs began pouring in.French Vogue, the hipper sister of American Vogue, is running a profile of the Brazilian model alongside a nude portrait in its upcoming issue. But this isn't your typical tale about the feverish discovery of a new face in high-fashion -- because Lea just happens to be a transsexual.”

Please read the rest of the story here.

Life in the Gynocracy

Pat e-mailed me a link to a Newsweek magazine article that asks, "What if men everywhere had to conform to beauty standards set by women?"

"We sure spend a lot of time talking about ideal female beauty—and why women spend so much time obsessing about it. But what if we lived in a world where women had always been the kings, the presidents, the bosses (and, thus, the arbiters of beauty)? Perhaps we’d call it a 'Gynocracy'—a place where superficial women would set the standards for attractiveness, and men would have to conform to them."

You can read the rest of the article here.

Role Reversal Reading

Back in March, I wrote a four-part series here titled What Will Men Wear When Women Wear Trousers?. It described how male and female roles have changed during the past 100 years and what will happen if they continue to follow the 100-year trend, i.e., a complete role reversal with women becoming the "new men" and men becoming the "new women" of the 21st Century.

After posting that series, I discovered a couple of blogs that were on-topic;

Patti's Male Femininity & Gender Role Reversal, which follows and advocates the current trends in role reversal.

Eve's Boys in the Pink, which describes the progression of the role reversal through the remainder of this century.

Restocking My Warpaint

I love experimenting with makeup.

A few years ago, I bought a makeup collection from Sephora that included a huge variety of eye, lip, and cheek colors. Although I use other makeup, the Sephora collection is my go-to makeup.

As a result, I have used up some of the colors. Also, since makeup does not improve with age, I thought I'd buy a replacement collection real soon now.

Since I am a Sephora Beauty Insider, I receive regular e-mail offers from them and their latest e-mail had just what I was looking for! Sixty-five colors; a $150 value for only $29.50. How could I resist!

If you are a femulator who wants to experiment with colors, I recommend buying this collection. And unlike a lot of the collections you will see for sale everywhere during the holidays, the Sephora collection is quality makeup that is a pleasure to use.

I recommend Sephora highly. You can select three free samples with every order, free shipping for orders over $50, and if you become a Beauty Insider (which is free), you earn points to get more free stuff. For example, my Beauty Insider points are getting me a free Lancome mascara with today's order.

In store, they are very trans-friendly. I've shopped en femme in their Manhattan and West Hartford (CT) stores and all my Sephora shopping excursions (including two makeovers) have been very positive. So, go for it, girls!

Eyelash Experiment Week 5

After five weeks of using the Avon eyelash growth stimulator, I am very happy with the results. Even without mascara, my eyelashes look longer and fuller than they looked before I began using the serum. With mascara, they are amazing!

In my case, patience paid off. After two weeks, I was not thrilled with the results, but into week three and beyond, I began noticing a difference. By week five, there was a big difference.

So, if you desire fatter eyelashes, I recommend Avon's eyelash growth stimulator serum.

News Is Good News

Murphy's Law... as soon as I deleted the Womanless News sidebar due to a lack of womanless news, I get some womanless news. So the Womanless News sidebar returns!