Art of Femulation

Throughout my life, drawing and sketching has been an outlet for me being transgender.

When I was a kid, I began drawing as soon as I discovered the business end of a pencil.

In my early teens, when I became fascinated with femulation, my drawing started serving a purpose. When I could not crossdress (which was most of the time), I drew pictures about crossdressing as a release for my frustrated femulations.

Over the years, I have used ballpoint pens, fountain pens, rollerball pens, crayons, colored pencils, and markers for my trans-drawings, but a simple pencil and eraser were my usual tools until I bought a Macintosh computer in 1985.

Now my computer is my primary drawing tool, although I still use a pencil occasionally (see above right) to keep my penciling skills toned.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you cannot help seeing my trans-artwork on display here. I don't know if you readers prefer reading what I write or seeing what I drew.

For me, drawing is fun, while writing is hard work. As a result, I have a big backlog of trans-art, but almost no backlog of trans-words. The daily content of this blog reflects that.

Now go put on a dress!

Nicholas femulates in a 3.1 Phillip Lim cheetah jacquard minidress with hair and makeup by Stana

Click on the image for a better color rendition.

My Horoscope

For her amusement, my wife reads the daily horoscope from the local newspaper. If I am within earshot, she will read mine aloud to me.

Yesterday was such a day. Here is my horoscope (and yours if you are a Pisces):

Let others get to know the real you. Being authentic is more likely right now. Others might be startled, but once they relax, they will enjoy the person they get to know.

Those are insightful and truthful words.

I have found that whenever I come out to people about my transness, most are surprised or startled, but after the words sink in and they interact with me, they seemed to enjoy the new (to them) me. 

Peacock

Last night, I watched Peacock, a 2010 film starring Cillian Murphy, Ellen Page, and Susan Sarandon. I knew nothing about this film going in except that Murphy crossdressed in it; after his great crossdressing performance in Breakfast on Pluto, I thought I would give Peacock a look.

It was a very interesting film and held my attention from beginning to end. It really was not a film about being trans, although there are trans elements in the film that many of us can identify with.

I am not a psychologist, nor do I play one on television, so I am not sure what to call the mental condition that Murphy played in the film. I guess he had a multiple personality disorder (distinct male and a female personalities) and his deceased abusive mother was the cause.

Murphy's femulation was very good. As a female, he/she passed and none of the other characters in the film figured him/her out. In reality, I think that someone might have put two and two together, but that did not occur in this story.

One thing that bothered me about Murphy's femulation is that he/she wore male underwear (a T-shirt and briefs) under his/her female clothing. In my humble opinion, someone with his/her disorder would wear female underwear when he/she was in female mode, but that is just my opinion.

The underwear issue did not ruin the film for me and I recommend Peacock to all.

Brandon femulates in a Dolce&Gabbana polka dot dress, Noriko Millie wig, and makeup by Stana

Click on the image for a better color rendition.

Millard femulates in a Dolce&Gabbana pleated bottom, cap sleeve dress, Noriko Brooke wig, and makeup by Stana

Click on the image for a better color rendition.

In His Shoes

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Making Ladies

Making Ladies is a song performed by Scissor Sisters. Although they recorded the tune about three years ago, I heard it for the first time last night.

It sounds like an advertisement for a male-to-female transformation salon and I like it.

If you can’t stand the heat, then put on a sundress!

It is hot and humid in the Femulation City. The temperature should get up to 93 or 94 this afternoon with relative humidity in the 50% neighborhood.

It was so hot yesterday afternoon that the little woman suggested that I put on a dress. She must have been joking because she knows darn well that I do not own a sundress or any other dress that is comfortable in hot and humid weather.

On the other hand, with the air-conditioner cranking away at full blast, I could have followed her suggestion, dressed to the nines, cooked our Independence Day leftovers on the grill, and lounged around the house the rest of the day.

Maybe next time.

a ticklish situation

Click on the image for a bigger laugh.

Happy Independence Day!

(Will Elder's rendition of Diana Prince in Mad #10)

three men out

fat lashes

On Sunday, I wrote about the Avon eyelash growth stimulator that I had been using for two weeks to make my lashes lusher.

I had not noticed much improvement at that point in time, but now I am happy to report that my persistence is paying off. About half way through Week 3 of the experiment, I suddenly noticed a significant improvement on the lash line. My lashes look fuller and longer even without mascara!

I will continue using the serum and let you know if there is further improvement. 

TV TV

overdressing

I am an overdresser.

There --- I admitted it. I got it off my chest and now I don't have to worry about people accusing me of being an "overdresser" because I have come out to the world about it.

It is hard to overdress when you attend a crossdresser support group meeting; many of the attendees overdress because the meeting may be their only opportunity to dress at all, so they dress to kill.

That being said, when attended crossdresser support group meetings, I was usually the most overdressed girl at the meeting. Hands down. No question about it.

I carried on my overdressing when I began going out in public en femme. The woman in a cocktail dress and high heels shopping at Wal*Mart --- that was me. The woman in the sequin evening gown seated in the centerfield bleachers at Fenway Park --- that was me. The woman in the little black dress and pearls dining at Taco Bell --- you guessed it --- that was me, too.

At first, I worried about it because overdressing drew attention to me and by drawing attention to me, civilians might scrutinize me too closely and figure out that I was packing something extra underneath my periwinkle bridesmaid gown.

I sure did not want to out myself, so I began toning it down. But I soon found out that toned-down dressing was Boring (with a capital B).

Blending in with all the other babes at Home Depot was just not my thing. I wanted to be outstanding in my field in heels, not flats.

So, I began overdressing again and I have never looked back because in the words of blogger Kate Fridkis, "Being overdressed is fun. You have to pull it off with confidence. You have to walk with your shoulders back, like you planned it. Like you're dressed up because you live a dramatic, impressive life. I mean, why not? Maybe you do."

Ms. Fridkis' "The Art of Overdressing" on The Huffington Post inspired this posting and I urge you to go read it yourself; maybe it will inspire you to buy a bright red dress to wear to the grocery store.

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt wants to be a boy!

Did you hear the news that the 4-year-old daughter of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt wants to be a boy?

Whether you did or not, I direct you to Mary Elizabeth William’s excellent commentary on the matter that appears in today’s Salon.

the joy of modeling

Many fashion models strut down the runway with expressions of "I wish I was anywhere but here" pasted on their faces.

Why not a smile or other indication that the model finds some enjoyment from wearing the clothing she is modeling?

Do the fashion models hate their jobs? Are they underpaid? Is modeling an onerous occupation?

I don't get it.

Personally, I find that the zombie-look that many models brandish detracts from the clothing they are modeling. A smile would do wonders to improve the overall presentation, don't you think?

Twice I was a fashion model and although I was nervous, I had a smile on my face because I enjoyed what I was doing and wanted to impart my joy to the audience. Most of my fellow trans-models did the same.

Maybe it is time to fire all the zombies (above left) and replace them with T-girls (above right) who love dressing like women!

next time outfit

I plan to go out en femme and this is the outfit I plan to wear.

I have a black and white bag that will go nicely with this outfit. And instead of the black tights and pumps, I might wear suntan pantyhose and black and white strappy sandals.

putting on weight

Back on June 11, I mentioned here that I was going to try to add some heft to my skinny eyelashes and that I purchased an eyelash growth stimulator from Avon to do the job.

For over two weeks, I have been religious about applying the serum each morning and evening. It was difficult to detect any difference because my eyelashes are blond, so yesterday, I took a black mascara to my lashes to see if the serum was doing any good.

It looks like there is some improvement, but it is not overwhelming.

I will continue applying the serum twice a day until it runs out and keep you all updated on my lash progress.

summertime blues… no more

Summer was my favorite season until I began going out en femme in the late 1980s.

Back then, going out en femme meant attending support group meetings. However, there were no meetings during the summer because the meeting hall was not air-conditioned and the fear was that the average femulator in wig, makeup, and foundation garments, would melt away without air-conditioning.

I bought into the summer meltdown theory and did not dress en femme during the summer. As a result, I could not wait for summer to end so that I could start dressing again in the fall and I began to hate summers.

In the ensuing years, I had a few occasions to go out en femme on hot summer-like days in the spring and fall and lo and behold, I discovered that I did not melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West. I did glisten, but the heat was never a deal-breaker. So my attitude gradually changed and now I no longer shun summer forays en femme.

More significantly, I realized that genetic women can not pick and choose which days to be women; they are women in all kinds of weather. So, if I am truly the woman that I feel that I am, I must be that woman in rain, snow, sleet, hail, and heat, as well as on nice mild sunny days.