coming out is hard

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I wrote here on Friday that I came out to another close acquaintance who I will see when I attend a conference en femme next month.

It took me awhile to get up the nerve to click on the send button and come out to her. The build-up was stressful and I was very moody for days before I finally pushed the button.

Coming out to that friend went very well. Next, I faced a more difficult coming out.

I am on the board of directors of an organization that is one of the major players at the conference I will attend. I felt that I had to come out to the other members of the board as well as the officers of the organization. I have known some of these people for a long time, some for a short time, and two are newbies, who I hardly know, yet I had to come out to all of them.

All weekend, I was stressed out about coming out to these folks and I was in a foul mood as a result. I finally clicked on the send button about 9 PM last night.

I received three e-mails back within minutes. All three were very positive and supportive.

I received two more positive e-mails back this morning.

Three people have not responded yet. One is a short term acquaintance, and the other two are the newbies. The five who did respond are the guys who I have known the longest, so it did my heart good to receive positive supportive responses from them.

Anyway, I am finished coming out with regards to the upcoming conference. I have informed everyone who I think should know. This morning, I woke up feeling relieved that I don't have to click on another send button. And I am in a much better mood, too.

UPDATE: One more responded positively, so the score for the officers and board members is six positive responses and two no responses.

a househusband's work is never done

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iron man

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sisterly advice

Sorry, I have not had much to say lately. "A picture's worth a thousand words," so I have tried to make up for my lack of words with lots of pictures!

The lack of words is due to a lot of thinking I have been doing about coming out and attending a conference en femme next month.

I hesitated for many days, but I finally came out to another close acquaintance today. She is another person I will certainly run into at the conference.

She was very surprised, but very supportive. And she advised me in a sisterly way, to make sure that I bring flats to wear at the conference!

yet another womanless beauty pageant

I discovered another womanless pageant with photos online documenting the event.

The Central Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson, MS, produced this one in March and in my opinion, this is one of the better adult (as opposed to schoolgirl) womanless pageants as far as the quality of femulation is concerned.

Enjoy!

the man of the house

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Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking Does Not Cause Crossdressing

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why black eyeliner is eternal

I never got the hang of applying liquid eyeliner; not enough practice, I guess. So usually, I use a pencil or powder eyeliner in a black or dark brown shade, but usually black.

I can get a defined line with a pencil eyeliner, similar to using a liquid eyeliner, but not as harsh. However, if I am trying to achieve smoky eyes, I switch to a powder eyeliner because it is easier to blend and achieve smokiness than if I used a pencil eyeliner.

Either way, I always use eyeliner when I do my makeup. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I never leave the house en femme without something lining my peepers.

Which brings me to an article that appeared last night on The Huffington Post. "Think Ink" by Napoleon Perdis reveals "why black eyeliner is eternal" and affirms my dependence on the black wand of makeup magic.

wrong kind of T

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the one with all the frills upon it

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all day long

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this and that

crossdressing is not a mental disorder

Sister blogger, Petra Bellejambes, of Voyages en Rose fame suggested that I mention the petition sponsored by the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE). It calls for the complete removal of so-called "Transvestic Disorder" (302.3) as a diagnostic category from the next Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). (The Manual "is published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) and provides a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders." )

In their petition, the IFGE delineates the reasons for removing Transvestic Disorder from the DSM. After reading the petition, I am sure you will agree with its logic and  I urge you to sign it as I did and tell the APA that crossdressing is not a mental disorder.

So, do not pass go, do not collect $200, instead go here and sign the petition now!

snarky comments

Read the comments to blog postings and you may notice that the snarky, rude, and nasty comments usually come from "anonymous" senders.

After receiving my share of those snarky comments, I considered deleting them because I felt that if a commenter was so gutless that he/she had to resort to an anonymous identity in order to post a  snarky comment, then his/her comment did not deserve to see the light of day.

However, I am a strong advocate of free speech and I let everyone have their say no matter how wrong they may be. It is just too bad that some of the commenters are so cowardly that they cannot stand behind their words.

By the way, the only comments I will delete are those containing foul language, i.e., those containing the seven words the FCC will not allow on television and then some. (You can look them up here.)

weighty issue

Good news!

You may remember my bout with a stomach virus a few weeks ago, which resulted in a large loss of weight. Well, I am fully recovered now and even better, I managed to keep off almost all the weight that I lost.

I guess I should start perusing the apparel catalogs to find a skimpy bikini to purchase real soon now. (I wish!)

What --- Me joke?

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coming out: another step

One of my friends, who I have known for over 15 years, lives 2500 miles away. Except for one or two face-to-face encounters at conferences each year, all our communications are by e-mail.

The next conference I attend will be en femme and I wanted to alert him beforehand.

In anticipation of coming out, I had composed a 500-word letter of explanation weeks ago. Yesterday at high noon, I copied the words into a blank e-mail, made a few changes, then I stared at the Send button for a few hours.

I did not actually stare at the Send button all that time, but I did consider whether or not to send the e-mail for three hours.

It was a tough decision. In the past, I have come out to friends and acquaintances who have known me for a long or short time, but all of them were women.

I find it very easy to come out to women. I guess because I am telling them that I am on their team.

Men are not so easy. Just encountering men when I am en femme gives me pause; coming out to a man is unthinkable. My friend would be the first male friend or acquaintance I would be coming out to.

I finally realized that I had to tell him, so I hit the Send button and girded myself for his reply.

I was so worried about his response that I did not check my e-mails the rest of the afternoon. Finally, after dinner, I looked for his reply, found it, and opened it.

He wrote, "Thank you for the e-mail. I am sure it was hard to send. But rest assured, you have my respect and support. I think it is best that a person be true to themselves, and you are doing just that. You go girl!"

He floored me with “You go girl!”

Now, that's a real friend!

manbag goes mainstream

The JCPenney advertising flyer inserted in Sunday’s newspaper here included a male modeling a suit, while carrying a “manbag,” the manly name for a male purse (see photo right).

It is the first time I can recall a manbag being shown by a mainstream retailer. It is another milestone in the feminization of male fashions.

JCPenney is not selling manbags, yet. The store probably assumes that males wanting to buy purses can find them in the women’s department along with other femmed-menswear ("femmenswear") not yet stocked in the men’s department.

bridesmaids go long

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fixing my name

When I was femulating in the privacy of my own closet, it never occurred to me to pick a female name because my femulation had no contact with the world outside my closet, but things changed.

In the early 1980s, I discovered the Genderline group on CompuServe. I spent hours reading its contents and eventually, I had a few questions I wanted to ask the group. The problem was that everyone on Genderline used a female name to avoid outing themselves with their male names. So I had to come up with my own female name before I posted my first message.

The easy way out was to use the feminine version of my male name, for example, Dean becomes Deanna, Steven becomes Stephanie, Eric becomes Erica, and Jordan becomes Jordan. I am always in favor of the path of least resistance, so I decided to use the feminine version of Stan.

Coming up with a feminine version of Stan was a bit of a stretch. The convoluted route I followed was Stan to Stanley to Stanislaus to Anastacia to Staci.

Haste makes waste, so they say, and I have regretted my rushed choice of Staci ever since.

--- Most people spell it wrong; Stacy, Stacie, or Stacey, seldom Staci.

--- I wanted a girly name, not an either-or name! When written, Stacy, Stacie, or Stacey can be either a male or female name, whereas "Staci" is strictly female. Since few people get my name right, their error results in giving me a genderless name. When anyone speaks my name, it is always genderless because you can't tell that my name ends with an "i" when spoken.

--- I dunno about you, but I always associate a name with the first person I ever met who had that name. The first and second women I met with the name "Staci" were memorable in very different negative ways.

So, I am not thrilled with my name and have considered changing it. 

Awhile back, I kicked around the idea of changing my name to "Lana." I polled my blog readers and 2 out of 3 of you said to stick with Staci. I followed your suggestion, however, I began using Lana as my middle name, but up front, I was still stuck with Staci.

Over a year ago, I discovered a Slavic female name that is a direct feminine derivation of Stan: Stana.

I first became aware of Stana when I acquired a postcard depicting a female impersonator named Stana Behavy. Shortly after, I learned of a 5'9" actress to add to my Famous Females of Height List. Her name was Stana Katic (she now appears in the ABC television series Castle).

I filed the name away for the future.

A few days ago, I e-mailed some recent photos to a co-worker, who knows about my femulating.

She e-mailed back, "You’re so cute Stan…very lovely.  Hot dress…love the color too."

Reading that response made me think.

I am out to people who know me only by my male name and I intend to come out to more people who know me only by my male name.

Why not make it easier for them by using a female name so similar to my male name? "Stan" and "Stana" are so interchangeable that one does not have to worry about slipping up when speaking my name? No one, certainly not I, will call them out if they say "Stan" when they intended to say "Stana" and vice versa. "Stan" can even be considered short for "Stana."

And I like the name. It rhymes with "Anna," the object of my first puppy love. It is unique (I always like to be unique). And it is a good fit, that is, it simply suits me.

Herb is hers

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it’s still almost April in Paris

Back on the 16th, I published a link pointing to a gallery of Paris street styles that demonstrated that spring was in the air in Paris.

That gallery was so inspiring that when a second gallery appeared, I had to pass it on to all you mademoiselle wannabes.

Enjoy!

my tall tale

I have three new additions to my Famous Females of Height List:

Crystal Renn – 5'9" plus-size model (photo right)

Brooklyn Decker – 5'10" model, Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover girl

Anna Gunn – 5'10" actress, TV’s Breaking Bad

my rationale

Unless you have read the blurb that precedes my Famous Females of Height List, you probably do not know the reason I compile the list, so here is my rationale:

I am over six feet tall, so when I femulate, I am a tall woman.

About the time I started femulating, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, that is, I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

After I started writing this blog, I began compiling my list because I did not want any tall femulators to fear going out en femme because of their height. The list is proof  that there are tall females out there, so don’t be afraid because you are not alone.