Saturday at the Banquet

How you gonna to keep 'em down on the farm (after they've seen Paree)?

After my afternoon becoming fantastic at The Facial Clinic and Med Spa, I faced an 80-mile drive to the site of the Connecticut Outreach Society's banquet.

My afternoon at the spa ran late, so I knew I was going to be late for the start of the banquet (no way would I cover 80 miles in 65 minutes), but as Murphy would have it, things got worse.

I missed a transfer point between Interstates and was unsure of what to do for about five minutes; should keep going or turn around? Then, I recognized my location and knew how to get back to my neck of the woods. However, the error was going to cost me and I was going to be even later arriving at the banquet.

Turned out I arrived 25 minutes late. After parking the car, I gathered up my stuff, checked myself in the vanity mirror, exited the car, walked through the parking lot and into the hotel lobby. I encountered a few banquet attendees, but no civilians. The atmosphere of the hotel seemed very subdued to me.

I checked in to get my meal and raffle tickets, then I encountered Diana, who was one of the banquet organizers. I asked her how many were expected to attend the banquet and she said over 55, which was typical for the past few years of the banquet.

Entering the banquet room, it seemed about half the attendees had not yet arrived and the atmosphere seemed subdued. (Was I attending a wake or a party?) I staked out a seat at a near empty table and went to the bar for a drink.

My stomach was still not up to snuff nine days after my bout with a stomach virus, so I had only one alcoholic beverage the entire evening. I also ate like a bird, barely touching the soup and main course, but indulging more in the salad and dessert. (By the way, I lost 7 pounds since the virus first struck.)

I tried to make pleasant conversation with my table mates, but something was odd. I felt out of place. I was just not into it. The girl next to me remarked, “You’re very quiet tonight.”

I felt so out of place that I almost excused myself from lip-synching the song I volunteered to perform during the entertainment portion of the evening. But I soldiered on and my turn came, I lip-synched Peggy Lee's classic version of Fever.

Although I knew the words of the song cold, I immediately messed up, snapping my fingers out of synch with the recording. I also flubbed a few words and at the end of the song. I was unhappy with my performance, yet I received a nice applause from the audience and everyone I spoke to about it said I did a good job, but I dunno.

(I asked a friend to use my camera to take some photos of my performance, but they all were out of focus, so the photo accompanying this post is another one from the spa.)

After the entertainment, I sought out my old friends to catch up with their lives. For me, chit-chatting with friends and acquaintances was the highlight of the evening. I ran out of gab and friends just past midnight and decided to depart.

I loved catching up with my old friends, but I have outgrown the banquet. It is just another closet and I am way out of the closet. I have been out in the real world interacting as a woman; I don't need a trans event to get out en femme. And I certainly don't need its safety net.

I don't rule out attending another trans event in the future, but there are many other things I would prefer to do en femme.

Saturday at the Spa

My journey on Saturday began mid-morning with a 90-mile trip across the state to The Facial Clinic and Med Spa in Dayville. I met the proprietor Jila Clark face-to-face for the first time, but it was more like a meeting of old girlfriends because we have been exchanging e-mails for weeks.

By the way, although I showed up in boy mode, Jila treated me as a lady throughout the afternoon, which just added to the wonderful experience.

Jila is a licensed clinical aesthetician and a state certified acne specialist, so I knew I was in good hands. Basically, she performed two procedures on me over the next three hours:

DermaSound --- an ultrasonic facial

Myotonology --- the only US-patented, FDA-approved procedure for facial toning

I have never had anything like this before. I have had a few makeovers in the past, but all the makeup artist did was clean my face with some kind of skin chemicals. Dermasound and Myotonology was something way beyond those simple cleansing procedures. Instead, I was going to get a deep cleansing facial and a noninvasive facelift.

Note that I have a high tolerance for pain. For example, I usually skip the novocaine for a simple tooth filling. During the processes that Jila performed, I felt no discomfort, but your mileage may vary. Rather than discomfort, the processes were soothing at times, while at other times, it felt like my skin was being awakened from the doldrums.

I am not going to detail the procedures because you can read the them on Jila's Web site. However, when she was done, the results amazed me.

Even before I looked in a mirror, I could feel a difference. My face felt tighter or toned; something I have never felt before.

When I looked in the mirror, the difference amazed me. I looked younger and more feminine. My lips, especially my upper lip, was fuller. My cheekbones were more prominent. My eyes --- I still can't get over my eyes --- looked young again. The fine lines and wrinkles were gone and my eyes looked bigger and perky, rather than droopy. And this was all before Jila applied makeup! 

By the way, as I write this two days later, I can still feel and see the difference.

After the DermaSound and Myotonology, Jila did my makeup. I was in for a surprise because I did not know she planned to airbrush all the parts of my upper body that my dress for the evening would reveal. She also used makeup to accentuate my collarbone --- something I would have never thought to do!

Jila was meticulous with my makeup application carefully picking out just the right colors and applying them like an artist. (This old dog learned a few new tricks in the process.) When she was done about an hour later, it was ready to dress up.

I brought five of my favorite wigs so that Jila could pick out the best for me to wear. But, as it turned out, she liked the very first one that I put on. She styled it a bit, then she advised me as to what jewelry to wear, and then we were done. Before I left to attend the Connecticut Outreach Society's banquet, Jila shot some photos for posterity.

Jila was profuse with the compliments and I have to agree that I don't think I have ever looked better. As Jila accompanied me to my car, I met her husband; Jila told me later that he thought I looked "beautiful." I don't know if I looked beautiful, but I did feel fantastic!

worth a thousands words

A picture will have to suffice until I finish composing my words about Saturday. This is a photo of yours truly after getting the works done at The Facial Clinic and Med Spa.

Click on the image to enlarge it.

5’10 to 6’2”

While I am busy getting ready for the banquet tonight, I pass along the latest additions to my Famous Females of Height List.

My friend Carlos e-mailed me that Brazilian model and TV hostess, Camila Alves, is 5’10”.

In my opinion, the most gorgeous person at the recent Oscar ceremonies was former model, Kathy Ireland, at 5'11" (photo right).

UCONN basketball player Maya Moore is 6’0”.

Elaine Armen of T* Art Blog fame informed me that the former Miss Ghana (Miss Universe 2006 contestant) Angela Asare is 6’2”  (same as me).

Saturday out

I will not blog tomorrow because this girl has a busy day ahead of her.

My Saturday en femme begins with a visit to The Facial Clinic and Med Spa, where I will spend the afternoon getting the works.

After my transformation at the spa, I will proceed to the Four Points by Sheraton to attend the annual Connecticut Outreach Society Awards Dinner, aka "The Banquet." The night will be filled with dinner, dancing, and entertainment, which includes yours truly lip-synching a song selected from my vast collection of diva classics.

Stories and photos galore will follow in a day or two, so please check back.

women prefer feminine looking men

Women now prefer feminine looking men over their more rugged counterparts because they no longer need to worry about the survival of the fittest, new research suggests.

Read all about it here.

fighting a hate crime bill with hate

Today, in Salon’s “Broadsheet,” Tracy Clark-Flory writes about a "pro-family" group’s claim that a ban on gender discrimination means the rise of scary "men in skirts"
“You gotta love it: An extremist political group is campaigning against a hate crimes bill with a hateful undercover video that only proves the need for just such a measure. Mass Resistance, a ‘pro-family action center’ in Massachusetts, recently went undercover with a video camera at a transgender conference with the intention of documenting the horrors that would allegedly be introduced with the passage of a state bill outlawing gender-based discrimination and hate crimes. The supposedly damning evidence: Footage of transgender women using the ladies' restroom.”

Read the rest of the story here.

good news

Except for an occasional stomach rumble, I am the stomach virus that knocked me out last weekend. I have been eating normally, that is, “normal” or me the past two days and I am no longer exhausted.

Even better: I lost 5 pounds during my illness and only regained 1 pound. So, I will be in great shape to slip into the figure-hugging red satin cocktail dress I plan to wear to my support group’s annual banquet this Saturday evening.

Ooh la la!

almost April in Paris

It is not April, but spring is in the air in Paris and the mademoiselles are dressing appropriately, as this gallery of Paris street styles clearly demonstrates.

(To be à Paris en femme is my dream.)

I hope you enjoy the gallery and dream!

obviously

Click on the image to enlarge it.

gay marriage's transgender loophole

California allows a woman to marry another woman -- only because she was born a man, according to Tracy Clark-Flory’s “Broadsheet” article in today’s Salon. 

True Colors Conference

Since I was sick (still am, but not as), I did not attend the True Colors Conference, therefore, I was unable to write about it here as promised.

So as not to disappoint, I refer you to my friend Diana's blog (I was supposed to go the Conference with Diana). Diana did attend and here is her report from the event.

loose ends regarding my rebirthday

Paula sent the following e-mail in response to "my rebirthday" post:

I have some questions. They may best be answered in a blog entry rather than in a reply to me, since many other readers likely have the same questions.

1. Does this mean you now have a "green light" to dress as a woman at your job whenever you like?

2. If so, are you going to do from here on out? I would think you would need to do it every day, as it would be confusing to your co-workers to see you in guy mode some days, then gal mode other days.

3. What does your wife think of this new development?

4. Are you now going to dress as a woman 24/7? At work and away from work?

Along with the multitude of preparations genetic women perform getting ready to go out, you of course have some extra ones:

1. You have to shave your face extra-close at least once a day and wear a makeup foundation to cover any traces of stubble.

2. You may have to shave your chest and shoulders/arms.

3. You have to tuck or at least wear a snug panty girdle or gaff even if its uncomfortable or hot.

4. At least you don't have to use breast forms!

5. You have to maintain a wig - cleaning, styling, etc.

6. You may have to wear foundations to give you a womanish figure.

7. Hot weather may make several of these measures very uncomfortable. Would you dress as a woman anyway, regardless of the discomfort.

I'm just wondering if doing this continual effort, day after day, would become burdensome, and result in you taking some short-cuts and a more simplified, casual presentation (like so many women today adopt).

My reply:

I did not discuss traffic lights when I spoke with HR. I am out in a lot of ways and I'd like to be out more, but one thing that has been holding me back is repercussions at work if I am discovered.

So, I spoke with HR to find out if there would be any repercussions. My HR rep assured me it was against company policy. She told me that if anything came up in the workplace that bothered me concerning my being out, that I should complain to HR and they would squash the problem.

I told her that I had no plans at this time to dress as a woman at work. She told me that when I was ready to discuss the matter further, she welcomed me to talk with her. She was very positive and if I decided to present as a woman at work, she wanted me to talk with her about it first in order to pave the way and make my journey as smooth as possible.

That kind of makes your other questions moot, but I agree that if I did begin dressing at work, I would do it every day rather than switch teams one day to next.

I am well aware of the maintenance involved regarding hair. Having had a taste at living 24/7 for short stints, for example, 5 days in NYC and 8 days in Provincetown, I got used to the regime involved, so I don't think it would be a big deal. Also, living full-time would probably move me to seek out permanent hair removal.

I always wear a girdle (just like any proper circa-1960's woman should), so that takes care of the tucking issue.

Full-time, I would probably grow my hair out and eliminate the wig issue.

I have dressed in hot weather and it is not as bad as I thought it would be. And if I had to do it everyday, I would make some wardrobe adjustments to be more comfortable. Growing my hair out and discarding the wigs would make a big difference in that regard.

The bottom line is that if I lived full-time, it would be a dream come true and I would do whatever it took to make it work.

By the way, my wife's support is minimal. She knows that being female is a part of me and she accepts it, but she'd prefer if it weren't so.

still ill and All-American Co-Ed

I am still ill, but I am getting better all the time (can't get much worse).

One positive thing about this stomach virus is that I lost six pounds! I imagine I will put most of it back on as the fluids build up in my body again, but maybe I can keep a couple of those six pounds off.

All-American Co-Ed

All-American Co-Ed is a 1941 film that features some fine femulation. This college comedy has a guy infiltrating an all-girl school posing as a co-ed and yadda yadda yadda.

Johnny Downs (pictured above) plays the main femulator and he does a credible job (I love his femme voice). There is also an impressive all-male chorus line that opens the film.

Amazon has the film on DVD for $7.99, but I held off buying it and I am glad I did because I found it online where I could view it for free or download it and save it to DVD for $1.99. EZTakes is the Web site and if you are a film fan, you will find lots of other films there that you can watch for free and/or download at bargain prices.

All-American Co-Ed is not an Oscar calibre film, but it is well-worth watching for the femulation alone. Enjoy!

not so casual Friday... not

Mid-morning Thursday, my stomach began feeling queasy. A stomach virus has been making the rounds through my family and I feared I was next.

Sure enough, I spent half of last night involuntarily eliminating everything in my stomach. I spent the other half of the night watching my body temperature go up. By dawn, my temperature was 100.2 degrees F.

The fever broke this morning and now I am nursing a major headache.

Needless to say, I did not go to the True Colors Conference as planned. I was in no condition to present a workshop, nor did I want to infect the other attendees.

I so look forward to this Conference and I am very disappointed that I missed it. I guess wait 'til next year.

not so casual Friday

Tomorrow is casual day at work for many people, but for me it will be a day en femme as I visit my alma mater to present a workshop at the True Colors Conference for sexual minority youth, their families, and facilitators.

"Femulate: The Art of Becoming Womanly" is the title of my workshop. The Conference catalog describes it as follows:

This workshop will assist male-to-female crossdressers in the art of becoming womanly and ultimately, to femulate successfully. (Successful femulation is the ability to emulate a female so well that the femulator is accepted, that is, she “passes” in society as a female.)

This will be my third time I have presented a workshop at this conference. In the past, my presentation has attracted a diverse audience and they usually go away pleased (according to the reviews they write at the end of the workshop).

In addition to the workshop, I will be working at my support group's booth during the rest of the day at the conference (that's me in the photo above working the booth in 2007). After the conference, my traveling companion, Diana, and I will dine at a restaurant.

dissension in their Sunday best

Click on the image to enlarge it.

punishment is in the eye of the beholder

Click on the image to enlarge it.

my rebirthday

I want to live more authentically than I have been living so far. I want to present as a woman as often as possible, certainly more often than I do now.

One thing that has been holding me back is work. I fear that my secret identity could come back to haunt me and that I could lose my job.

For many months, I considered going to Human Resources to find out if my fears were justified. I finally got fired up enough to do it on Friday.

I have known my HR representative for about ten years. She even saw me dressed en femme at the company Halloween party years ago. So I figured she would not be surprised when I told her that I was transgender, but she was.

We discussed my concerns in confidence. She assured me that the company had a policy that supported diversity among its employees and that my expression of diversity (in or out of the workplace) would never be grounds for dismissal.

I was relieved and elated.

She said she welcomed me to discuss the matter with her further ar any time I wanted. Then she complimented me for having the courage to broach the subject with her. I thanked her, but added that I did not think I was being courageous, I was just trying to be me.

I was so thrilled about the outcome of my meeting with HR that I decided to come out to a friend at work.

In case you don't recall, another friend invited me to attend a Landmark meeting in September, which I went to en femme. While listening to the presentation, I noticed a friend from work sitting one row in front of me, but too far away for her to notice me or for me to get her attention.

I lost track of the presentation and thought about her and me. She is a real cool person, open-minded, intelligent, and one of the friendliest people at work. I decided that during the upcoming break, I would come out to her.

At the break, she left abruptly, never returned, and I missed my chance. I thought about bringing up my missed opportunity to her a number of times and never did. But I was on a roll on Friday, so not long after my meeting in HR, I went to my friend to reveal my secret identity.

She was thrilled that I came out to her. She had a lot of questions about my secret identity and we had a good time talking about my life in high heels.

I showed her some of my photos and she said that she would have never recognized me in my secret identity. She added that I looked "lovely" and so comfortable in my female presentation.

What a day! I felt so good about what I did and how everything turned out... so good that I felt like a new person; I felt reborn.

And isn't that apropos because today is my birthday!

March tallness

Gloriosky! There has not been a tall edition of Femulate since January 26!

We are way overdo for some new additions to the Famous Females of Heights List, so here they are:

I don't watch The Big Bang Theory, but while channel-surfing, I noticed one of its stars Kaley Cuoco, who weighs in at 5'8".

Watching Seinfeld reruns (my favorite TV show of all-time), I spotted 5'8" Marguerite MacIntyre, who more recently appeared in the TV series The Vampire Diaries.

Another 5'8" actress is the versatile Emily Watson, who played Peter Sellers wife in The Life and Death of Peter Sellers.

Peaches provided us with 5'11" Karen Gillan, an actress appearing in TV's Doctor Who.

Suzanne Moore sent in the tallest addition to this edition: 6'3" Gabrielle Reece, professional volleyball player (that's Ms. Reece in the accompanying photo.)