awaken the "girl self"

The Vagina Monologues' author, Eve Ensler, has a new book titled I Am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls.

You can read about the book on Marianne Schnall's The Huffington Post blog today.

What you won't read in Ms. Schnall's posting is what author Ensler had to say during her interview on The Joy Behar Show Monday night. I don't have the transcript of the interview, so I am paraphrasing here, but the gist of one of her statements was that boys also have a "girl self" and that she encourages boys to embrace their girl selves.

In her interview, Ms. Ensler was not speaking about gender diverse people like us, but I believe that if anyone is trying to embrace their girl selves, it certainly is us.

my womanless pageant

Back in December, there was an advertisement on the Internet seeking contestants for a womanless beauty pageant in nearby Massachusetts. I answered the ad expressing my interest in being a contestant, exchanged a few e-mails about it, then heard nothing more as the plans for the event fell apart.

I was disappointed. That was the closest I ever got to being in a womanless pageant and I am not likely to get such an opportunity again (unless I move South) because womanless beauty pageants are very rare events in the Northeast.

I remember when I encountered my first womanless pageant. I was well into my second decade of girlhood and that encounter occurred in 1979 watching an episode of Real People, which featured a pageant held somewhere that I don't recall. I do recall that most of the contestants acted more like the rear ends of horses than ladies.

However, I noticed that one contestant in particular was shy and demure. She was pretty, too, and in my opinion, should have won the pageant, but I believe one of the rear ends won instead. She was not one of the good old boys wearing a dress and making a mockery of womanhood. Rather, in my heart I knew she was like me, that is, gender diverse.

Whenever I look at the photos of womanless pageants, there usually is one or two contestant that strikes me as also being gender diverse. There is a certain look in their expressions, especially in their eyes, that indicates that they are living their dream for a few hours and that the pageant is probably not their first and certainly not their last encounter with their feminine side.

It would be so lovely to be in a womanless pageant, but I guess I will have to continue to participate vicariously.

more womanless pageant news

Aunty Marlena alerted me to yet another womanless beauty pageant. This one at the Heidelberg (MS) Academy featured some quality femulation.

In contrast to the pageant featured in my previous posting, most of the “girls” seemed to know how to remove hair both north and south of the neckline.

Here are the rest of the photos.

womanless pageant news

Aunty Marlena alerted me to a womanless beauty pageant held last weekend at the Benjamin Russell High School in Alexander City, AL.

This was one of the better ones as far as the quality of the femulation is concerned. However, the predominance of hairy legs and arms makes me think that the "girls" made a pact beforehand not to shave those body parts in order to hang onto some shred of masculinity.

Anyway, here are the rest of the photos.

perhaps Aunt Samantha is more supportive

who’s no lady?

Yesterday, I received an e-mail that posed the following question: Is there any place in Femulate where you tell how you got drawn into the crossdressing world?

I do not recall telling this story here before, so here it is.

When I was a kid, I was intrigued with disguises. Being a creative sort, I assembled my own original costumes for Halloween rather than wear something off the rack. However, I would never be caught dead in a dress; all my costumes were male-themed, for example, monsters, pirates, ghouls, but not girls.

When I was about 10 or 11 years old, one of the newspapers my Dad bought (the Daily News) began carrying weekly thumbnail-sized ads for 82 Club, a New York City nightclub that featured female impersonators. Each advertisement asked, "Who's No Lady?" (like the postcard above) and contained a photo of a beautiful female impersonator.

Up until then, I was only familiar with the Milton Berlesque variety of female impersonation, so the advertisements fascinated me. The beauty and authenticity of  the impersonators amazed me.

Every week, I anxiously awaited the appearance of a new 82 Club advertisement and I was seldom disappointed as male after male was shown transformed into a beautiful female.

I was s0 intrigued that a male could transform himself into a gorgeous female that I decided to experiment with female impersonation myself and soon I was slipping on my first pair of nylons and heels. Using my mother's and sister's wardrobes and cosmetics, I tried to transform myself into a young lady.

I enjoyed every minute of it, but I started feeling very guilty. None of the guys I knew did what I did. I wondered if something was wrong with me. (Sound familiar?)

But, I did not stop and I continued experimenting, while fine-tuning my femulating skills in the process. And that’s my story.

high heels are good for you

High heels were the second item of woman’s clothing I wore when I began my experiments in femulation back in the early 1960s (the first item was nylon stockings). I took to heels like a duck takes to water. I never had a problem walking in heels and I loved how they shaped my legs.

Ever since I began sashaying in shoes of stupendous height, all I ever heard was how bad they were. A parade of experts claimed that high heels caused one bad thing after another. They were the cause of all that was wrong with our feet, as well as being responsible for some of society’s ills as well.

Well, I have some good news for high heel fashionistas. Contrary to popular opinion, wearing high heels is good for your physique and your psyche, according to studies recently uncovered by Team Femulate.

In one study, a British doctor performed tests using special scales and the results indicate “that high heels throw the weight onto the heel rather than onto the toes… which eliminates slouching, produces more healthy breathing, and adds inches to the bust.”

"But the greatest effect is the psychological one," the doctor added, "...long legs are admired and the high heel gives the impression of greater leg length... a sensation of slimness."

In another study, British scientists gave high heels a clean bill of health. “Instead of being unhealthful, high heels are actually easier on the body than low ones. In spite of the present vogue of high heels, there is no evidence that corns, flat feet, or other disorders are increasing.”

Works for me!

be a normal man

"Be a Normal Man" is the subject of a spam e-mail I received yesterday. So, following the advice of that e-mail, I went to Home Depot during lunch to do some shopping like a "normal man."

To my astonishment, there were more women shopping at Home Depot than men. The majority of the Home Depot "associates" were women, too.

I felt a little out of place just like when I go shopping for girly things in a girly store while dressed in boy mode. It felt like every woman in Home Depot was watching me to see what girly product I would fondle. I could read their minds, "What is HE going to do with that Torx screwdriver?"

I was so paranoid that I used the automated self-check-out instead of going to a cashier (who were all women) to avoid the smirks and knowing looks that I was bound to receive while making my girly purchase.

Next time I shop at Home Depot, I will be sure to wear a dress, wig, makeup, and heels so I won't feel out of place.

won

I won this item on eBay on January 2 and it finally arrived in the mail on Saturday. It must have gone around the Horn before it got to me!

It is a "souvenir" from Finocchio's, the world famous female impersonator club that operated in San Francisco during the last half of the 20th Century.

The "souvenir" is actually a folder intended to contain a photo of Finocchio's customers. A photographer would come around to each table in the club and ask customers if they wanted their photo taken. The results were delivered in this souvenir folder. By the way, there is a photo in the folder showing an unknown couple seated at a table in the club.

I estimate that this item is from the 1940s. I own a lot of Finocchio's ephemera (see it here) and it is the first Finocchio's souvenir photo folder I have ever encountered.

Hollywood en femme again

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what’s egging him on?

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Hollywood en femme

Sunday, I watched the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards on the tube. Yes, I still watch television on a tube; on a 20-year-old Sony no less.

I watch entertainment industry award shows mainly to see how the females dress and perhaps be inspired on what to wear to my next formal or semi-formal affair.

In this fashionista's opinion, the dresses at the SAG Awards were better overall than the dresses at the Golden Globe Awards a week earlier. Mostly the same people showed up at both events, so maybe their fashion senses improved during the ensuing week.

As in past SAG Award broadcasts I have viewed, I was again taken aback whenever I heard a participant refer to an actress as an "actor." The same people were using the word "actress" a week earlier. It's as if the word "actress" had become the eighth word that you can't say on television.

I don't get it... or maybe I do!

Perhaps all those actresses are actually actors impersonating actresses.

No wonder they are all so tall! They sure have mastered their femme voices and mannerisms. But afterall, they are professional actors; if they can't sound convincing as females, who can?

And they have the best makeup artists and special effects people in the world to girl them up. So, it does not surprise me that all those gorgeous Hollywood starlets are actually guys en femme.

But now, I'm jealous. Now I want to be an “actor,” too!

share and share alike

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a modicum of decency

Maybe I’m just “old school,” maybe it’s my upbringing, maybe it has something to do with being born and raised in old Puritanical New England, maybe I’m a “prude;” whatever the reason, there are certain words that are not part of my vocabulary. Whether I am en femme or en homme, I just try not to use them

I admit that on occasion, those words have slipped out of my mouth, but they are “slips” and I always regret saying them.

On the other hand, when I write, I have time to reflect on what I am doing and correct any “slips,” so I never use those words in my writings. Moreover, I don’t want those words used in association with my writings; by that, I am referring to reader comments in this blog.

I just rejected a reader’s comment because he/she used one of those words and I will continue to reject any future comments that use those words.

By the way, the words are the seven that George Carlin referred to in his "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" routine back in 1972. Believe it or not, you still cannot say those seven words on American television today (and I won’t use them here).

tall Tuesday

The Famous Females of Height List team has been busy researching the height of new encounters of the female persuasion and has six new entries for the list.

5'8" – Lake Bell – actress – film: It's Complicated

5'8" – Emily Blunt (photo right) – actress – film: The Devil Wears Prada, The Young Victoria

5'8" – Melanie Lynskey – actress – TV: Two and a Half Men, film: Up in the Air

5'8" – Giuliana Rancic– celebrity news personality – TV: E! News

5'10" – Kristin Dos Santos – expert – TV: Countdown (to Golden Globe Awards)

6’0” – Ayla Brown – singer – TV: American Idol

Thank you, Peaches, for the Ayla Brown addition.

is my skirt too short?

Personally, there is some truth to “his fashion faux pas” that I posted here on Saturday. I have lost count the number of times I have gone out en femme and wondered about the length of my skirt (or lack thereof).

I am tall. The selection and availability of skirts and dresses in “tall” sizes is limited; even more so if you prefer something that is fashionable.

I am a fashionista and I prefer fashionable over practical, so most of the skirts and dresses I buy are cut for females of average rather than tall height. As a result, a hem above the knee for a female of average height turns out to be way above the knee on me. Not that there  is anything wrong with that.

I have shapely legs, or so I’ve been told. My mother often said I should have been a “girl” because I have such nice legs. The SO of a trans-friend of mine calls me “Leggy.” Countless other people claim that I have great legs. So, a short skirt on me is nothing to be ashamed of. And as they say, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

On the other hand, I don’t want to expose everything. So I go by the rule that my hemline should be no shorter than where the tips of my fingers reach down when standing upright (unlike Heidi Klum pictured above). I will admit that at times, I have violated that rule, but most of the time, I try to be a good girl and follow it.

his fashion faux pas

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it’s drag history month!

Wow – that was a close call! With only 9 days left, I almost missed it!

Courtesy of an e-missive from Ms. Jan Brown, I just learned that January is National Drag History Month.

According to the folks at Logo, “This month-long event salutes the richness of drag culture and pays tribute to the courageous queens & kings who have fought for equality while inspiring, educating & entertaining us all.”

In honor of the month, Logo has a bunch of related videos online.

I dunno about you, but as a long-time femulator, I have been accused of being a “drag queen” on occasion, so tonight, I plan to wrap a boa around my shoulders and view a few of the Logo videos.

ex-Catholic in a dress

Last June, when I spent a long weekend in New York City en femme, I visited Saint Patrick’s Cathedral.

This was a big deal for me. I was raised a Roman Catholic and my religion was the source of much needless guilt about crossdressing throughout my life. I overcame the guilt years ago and now I was entering the church for the first time en femme.

I thought that my visit would be like spitting in the eye of the Church of Rome. "Take that for all the pain and suffering you brought down upon me for so long." Instead of feeling vengeful, I felt wonderful. Your prodigal son has returned, but your son is now your daughter!

I stopped attending church about ten years ago. I began doubting the existence of a God about that time and about a year ago, switched from being an agnostic to an atheist.

“You’re too scientific,” my daughter said upon hearing that news.

I don’t know about being “too” scientific, but I do hold science in a much higher regard than religion.

So, why did I feel “wonderful” when I attended Mass en femme at Saint Pat’s last June?

Do I have some doubts about atheism like I do about religion?

Did I feel spiritual because I was in such a spiritual place?

Was it nostalgia for something that had previously been part of my weekly routine?

Was it simply the thrill of being out en femme in a new venue?

Can One Be Transgender and Catholic? (I Was)

Joanne Herman wrote an interesting article in The Huffington Post.

In the article, Ms. Herman addresses the following question:

If the Catholic Church instructs those who believe their inward gender is different from their outward gender to battle that belief as a psychological problem, not with surgery, why then would a transgender person choose to be Catholic?