who’s no lady?

Yesterday, I received an e-mail that posed the following question: Is there any place in Femulate where you tell how you got drawn into the crossdressing world?

I do not recall telling this story here before, so here it is.

When I was a kid, I was intrigued with disguises. Being a creative sort, I assembled my own original costumes for Halloween rather than wear something off the rack. However, I would never be caught dead in a dress; all my costumes were male-themed, for example, monsters, pirates, ghouls, but not girls.

When I was about 10 or 11 years old, one of the newspapers my Dad bought (the Daily News) began carrying weekly thumbnail-sized ads for 82 Club, a New York City nightclub that featured female impersonators. Each advertisement asked, "Who's No Lady?" (like the postcard above) and contained a photo of a beautiful female impersonator.

Up until then, I was only familiar with the Milton Berlesque variety of female impersonation, so the advertisements fascinated me. The beauty and authenticity of  the impersonators amazed me.

Every week, I anxiously awaited the appearance of a new 82 Club advertisement and I was seldom disappointed as male after male was shown transformed into a beautiful female.

I was s0 intrigued that a male could transform himself into a gorgeous female that I decided to experiment with female impersonation myself and soon I was slipping on my first pair of nylons and heels. Using my mother's and sister's wardrobes and cosmetics, I tried to transform myself into a young lady.

I enjoyed every minute of it, but I started feeling very guilty. None of the guys I knew did what I did. I wondered if something was wrong with me. (Sound familiar?)

But, I did not stop and I continued experimenting, while fine-tuning my femulating skills in the process. And that’s my story.

high heels are good for you

High heels were the second item of woman’s clothing I wore when I began my experiments in femulation back in the early 1960s (the first item was nylon stockings). I took to heels like a duck takes to water. I never had a problem walking in heels and I loved how they shaped my legs.

Ever since I began sashaying in shoes of stupendous height, all I ever heard was how bad they were. A parade of experts claimed that high heels caused one bad thing after another. They were the cause of all that was wrong with our feet, as well as being responsible for some of society’s ills as well.

Well, I have some good news for high heel fashionistas. Contrary to popular opinion, wearing high heels is good for your physique and your psyche, according to studies recently uncovered by Team Femulate.

In one study, a British doctor performed tests using special scales and the results indicate “that high heels throw the weight onto the heel rather than onto the toes… which eliminates slouching, produces more healthy breathing, and adds inches to the bust.”

"But the greatest effect is the psychological one," the doctor added, "...long legs are admired and the high heel gives the impression of greater leg length... a sensation of slimness."

In another study, British scientists gave high heels a clean bill of health. “Instead of being unhealthful, high heels are actually easier on the body than low ones. In spite of the present vogue of high heels, there is no evidence that corns, flat feet, or other disorders are increasing.”

Works for me!

be a normal man

"Be a Normal Man" is the subject of a spam e-mail I received yesterday. So, following the advice of that e-mail, I went to Home Depot during lunch to do some shopping like a "normal man."

To my astonishment, there were more women shopping at Home Depot than men. The majority of the Home Depot "associates" were women, too.

I felt a little out of place just like when I go shopping for girly things in a girly store while dressed in boy mode. It felt like every woman in Home Depot was watching me to see what girly product I would fondle. I could read their minds, "What is HE going to do with that Torx screwdriver?"

I was so paranoid that I used the automated self-check-out instead of going to a cashier (who were all women) to avoid the smirks and knowing looks that I was bound to receive while making my girly purchase.

Next time I shop at Home Depot, I will be sure to wear a dress, wig, makeup, and heels so I won't feel out of place.

won

I won this item on eBay on January 2 and it finally arrived in the mail on Saturday. It must have gone around the Horn before it got to me!

It is a "souvenir" from Finocchio's, the world famous female impersonator club that operated in San Francisco during the last half of the 20th Century.

The "souvenir" is actually a folder intended to contain a photo of Finocchio's customers. A photographer would come around to each table in the club and ask customers if they wanted their photo taken. The results were delivered in this souvenir folder. By the way, there is a photo in the folder showing an unknown couple seated at a table in the club.

I estimate that this item is from the 1940s. I own a lot of Finocchio's ephemera (see it here) and it is the first Finocchio's souvenir photo folder I have ever encountered.

Hollywood en femme again

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what’s egging him on?

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Hollywood en femme

Sunday, I watched the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards on the tube. Yes, I still watch television on a tube; on a 20-year-old Sony no less.

I watch entertainment industry award shows mainly to see how the females dress and perhaps be inspired on what to wear to my next formal or semi-formal affair.

In this fashionista's opinion, the dresses at the SAG Awards were better overall than the dresses at the Golden Globe Awards a week earlier. Mostly the same people showed up at both events, so maybe their fashion senses improved during the ensuing week.

As in past SAG Award broadcasts I have viewed, I was again taken aback whenever I heard a participant refer to an actress as an "actor." The same people were using the word "actress" a week earlier. It's as if the word "actress" had become the eighth word that you can't say on television.

I don't get it... or maybe I do!

Perhaps all those actresses are actually actors impersonating actresses.

No wonder they are all so tall! They sure have mastered their femme voices and mannerisms. But afterall, they are professional actors; if they can't sound convincing as females, who can?

And they have the best makeup artists and special effects people in the world to girl them up. So, it does not surprise me that all those gorgeous Hollywood starlets are actually guys en femme.

But now, I'm jealous. Now I want to be an “actor,” too!

share and share alike

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a modicum of decency

Maybe I’m just “old school,” maybe it’s my upbringing, maybe it has something to do with being born and raised in old Puritanical New England, maybe I’m a “prude;” whatever the reason, there are certain words that are not part of my vocabulary. Whether I am en femme or en homme, I just try not to use them

I admit that on occasion, those words have slipped out of my mouth, but they are “slips” and I always regret saying them.

On the other hand, when I write, I have time to reflect on what I am doing and correct any “slips,” so I never use those words in my writings. Moreover, I don’t want those words used in association with my writings; by that, I am referring to reader comments in this blog.

I just rejected a reader’s comment because he/she used one of those words and I will continue to reject any future comments that use those words.

By the way, the words are the seven that George Carlin referred to in his "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" routine back in 1972. Believe it or not, you still cannot say those seven words on American television today (and I won’t use them here).

tall Tuesday

The Famous Females of Height List team has been busy researching the height of new encounters of the female persuasion and has six new entries for the list.

5'8" – Lake Bell – actress – film: It's Complicated

5'8" – Emily Blunt (photo right) – actress – film: The Devil Wears Prada, The Young Victoria

5'8" – Melanie Lynskey – actress – TV: Two and a Half Men, film: Up in the Air

5'8" – Giuliana Rancic– celebrity news personality – TV: E! News

5'10" – Kristin Dos Santos – expert – TV: Countdown (to Golden Globe Awards)

6’0” – Ayla Brown – singer – TV: American Idol

Thank you, Peaches, for the Ayla Brown addition.

is my skirt too short?

Personally, there is some truth to “his fashion faux pas” that I posted here on Saturday. I have lost count the number of times I have gone out en femme and wondered about the length of my skirt (or lack thereof).

I am tall. The selection and availability of skirts and dresses in “tall” sizes is limited; even more so if you prefer something that is fashionable.

I am a fashionista and I prefer fashionable over practical, so most of the skirts and dresses I buy are cut for females of average rather than tall height. As a result, a hem above the knee for a female of average height turns out to be way above the knee on me. Not that there  is anything wrong with that.

I have shapely legs, or so I’ve been told. My mother often said I should have been a “girl” because I have such nice legs. The SO of a trans-friend of mine calls me “Leggy.” Countless other people claim that I have great legs. So, a short skirt on me is nothing to be ashamed of. And as they say, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

On the other hand, I don’t want to expose everything. So I go by the rule that my hemline should be no shorter than where the tips of my fingers reach down when standing upright (unlike Heidi Klum pictured above). I will admit that at times, I have violated that rule, but most of the time, I try to be a good girl and follow it.

his fashion faux pas

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it’s drag history month!

Wow – that was a close call! With only 9 days left, I almost missed it!

Courtesy of an e-missive from Ms. Jan Brown, I just learned that January is National Drag History Month.

According to the folks at Logo, “This month-long event salutes the richness of drag culture and pays tribute to the courageous queens & kings who have fought for equality while inspiring, educating & entertaining us all.”

In honor of the month, Logo has a bunch of related videos online.

I dunno about you, but as a long-time femulator, I have been accused of being a “drag queen” on occasion, so tonight, I plan to wrap a boa around my shoulders and view a few of the Logo videos.

ex-Catholic in a dress

Last June, when I spent a long weekend in New York City en femme, I visited Saint Patrick’s Cathedral.

This was a big deal for me. I was raised a Roman Catholic and my religion was the source of much needless guilt about crossdressing throughout my life. I overcame the guilt years ago and now I was entering the church for the first time en femme.

I thought that my visit would be like spitting in the eye of the Church of Rome. "Take that for all the pain and suffering you brought down upon me for so long." Instead of feeling vengeful, I felt wonderful. Your prodigal son has returned, but your son is now your daughter!

I stopped attending church about ten years ago. I began doubting the existence of a God about that time and about a year ago, switched from being an agnostic to an atheist.

“You’re too scientific,” my daughter said upon hearing that news.

I don’t know about being “too” scientific, but I do hold science in a much higher regard than religion.

So, why did I feel “wonderful” when I attended Mass en femme at Saint Pat’s last June?

Do I have some doubts about atheism like I do about religion?

Did I feel spiritual because I was in such a spiritual place?

Was it nostalgia for something that had previously been part of my weekly routine?

Was it simply the thrill of being out en femme in a new venue?

Can One Be Transgender and Catholic? (I Was)

Joanne Herman wrote an interesting article in The Huffington Post.

In the article, Ms. Herman addresses the following question:

If the Catholic Church instructs those who believe their inward gender is different from their outward gender to battle that belief as a psychological problem, not with surgery, why then would a transgender person choose to be Catholic?

no more mixed messages

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new bling-bling

Most of my jewelry is of the inexpensive costume variety. However, I recently received a gift certificate for LuShae Jewelry and I was able to add some real bling to my jewelry box.

After peruring LuShae's online catalog, I chose a pendant called Cluster of Ruby. Here is its catalog description:

The Cluster of Ruby CZ pendant is beautifully designed with ruby red CZ and round clear CZ all clustered together for that indulged look. It draws attention and adds style with elegance to your favorite top or dress. White Gold Rhodium Bond is achieved using an electroplating process that coats the item with heavy layers of rhodium, a close cousin of platinum that costs three times as much, which gives our jewelry a platinum luster.

The pendant arrived one week after I placed my order.

In this fashionista's opinion, the pendant is drop-dead gorgeous. It is one of the prettiest pieces of jewelry I own.

I look forward to wearing the pendant, but first I have to find earrings to go with it. And when I do, I plan to wear my new bling to a fancy occasion, probably to one of the formal affairs coming up in this spring.

Pageant, the movie

"With all hormone and surgical enhancements banned from the competition, contestants rely entirely on tricks of makeup and wardrobe."

That quote from Blockbuster's blurb for the film Pageant motivated me to add the film to my Blockbuster rental queue.

As a femulator, who does not take hormones or has had any surgical enhancements, I was very interested in viewing this documentary about the Miss Gay America competition. (I later discovered that surgical enhancements were forbidden below the neck, thus contestants could have their faces worked over as much as they desired and/or could afford.)

The film was in my queue for months. Blockbuster finally shook it loose and the DVD arrived in my mailbox on Saturday. I watched the film Saturday night.

I enjoyed the film, which concentrated on the lives of five of the 52 contestants. By the documentary's mid-point, I found myself really getting into the film because I was rooting for two of the five contestants; the others, not so much.

From a personal standpoint, I especially appreciated the documentation of the reactions of the contestants' families' and friends' when they discovered a femulator in their midst.

From a technical standpoint, there was not much how-to information in the film. There were just a few glimpses of how the contestants achieve breast cleavage and narrow waists, as well as how they apply their makeup.

For what it's worth, I achieve cleavage the the same way as the contestants. I use surgical tape to squeeze my boobs together, then I use light and dark highlighting makeup to make my cleavage appear deeper.

For narrow waists, the contestants tightly wrap their waistlines with duct tape (over their underwear). I prefer a waist cincher with corset lacing because duct tape leaves residue on your undies that is difficult to remove.

The makeup application was disappointing. Most of the contestants apply makeup to achieve a way-over-the-top drag queen look, whereas I was hoping their makeup application would more closely approximate a Miss America contestant look. I guess the drag queen look was to be expected because most of the contestants are professional drag queens.

I have been hankering to compete in a beauty pageant. Although I am almost a senior citizen, my looks are still acceptable and my lip-synching skills are getting better all the time.

I thought that maybe the Miss Gay America competition might provide an outlet for my hankering, but after viewing the film, I think I will have to look elsewhere. I know I could compete with the other contestants except in the talent competition. Like I said, most of the contestant are pros, so their talents/acts were very professional with staging, back-up dancers, etc. that would leave a mere lip-syncher like me in the dust.

Perhaps I can come up with a twist to my lip-synching that would make it more unique, but until then, wearing the Miss Gay America crown will remain a far-off dream.

genderfork and the boy-chick

I came upon Genderfork a few days ago and added it to my blog list.

Genderfork announces that it "explores androgyny and gender variance through artistic photography and other neat stuff."

And it is definitely "neat," but what interested me even more is that it is youth-oriented, more so than a blog like Femulate, which seems to attract a more mature crowd (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Genderfork provides an outlet for the young gender variant crowd, which I think is absolutely wonderful.

I am a little jealous because when I was young, there were no outlets for gender variant kids like me. For all I knew back then, there was something very wrong with me, so I kept my "problem" closeted for a very long time.

I wonder where I would be today if I was able to openly express my gender variance when I was young. Maybe I would have become a professional female impersonator. Maybe I would be living as a female 24/7. Maybe... maybe... maybe...

Anyway, I am very happy for today's kids. They have opportunities I never had and hopefully, they will use those opportunities to live their lives as they desire, not as society desires.

more tall ladies of note

Since my last Famous Females of Height List update, I have received additions from you readers. I thank you for your input.

Here are the latest tall ladies of note that I added to the Big List:

5’8” – Michaela Conlin – actress – TV: Bones – from Dani O

5'9" – Maxine Bahns – actress – films: The Brothers McMullen, She's the One – from me

5’9”– Paula Creamer – pro golfer – from Petra Bellejambes

5’9” – Emily Deschanel – actress, producer – TV: Bones – from Dani O

5’9” – Natalie Gulbis – pro golfer – from Petra Bellejambes

5'9" – Misty May-Treanor – Volleyball gold medalist – from Suzanne Moore

5'10" – Karen Elson – model – from Lee

5'10" – Alexandra Paul – actress – TV: Baywatch – from Lee

5’10” – Anna Rawson – pro golfer – from Petra Bellejambes

5'11" – Adrianne Palicki (photo above right) – actress – TV: Friday Night Lights – from me

6’3” – Kerri Walsh – Volleyball gold medalist – from Suzanne Moore