whatever works

There is a joke that has been going around the transgender community for awhile that goes like this:

What's the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?

Three years.

The joke implies that when someone realizes that he or she is a crossdresser, it takes three years to realize that he or she is a transsexual.

There is some truth to that joke; I have witnessed many folks come out as crossdressers, only to come out as transsexuals three or so years later.

But, sometimes it takes longer.

After crossdressing for over four decades, I recently came to the realization that I am a woman.

I am not a woman trapped in a man's body, I am really a woman. I think as a woman, I emote as a woman, I act as a woman, I speak as a woman, and whenever the opportunity arises, I present as a woman. To most of my acquaintances I am the most womanly male they know and that's because I really am a woman.

True, my container is male (more or less), but its contents are 100% female.

I am very adverse to fooling around with my container. Many things can go wrong and so far, my container has held up pretty well, so why mess with it. As a result, I have no interest in taking hormones or having surgery to modify my container so that it matches its contents.

I am very happy being a woman and very glad that I am not a "man." I might be happier if I could present as a woman all of the time, but I have made choices in my life that make that impossible. So I live part-time as a male and part-time as a female, but no matter how I live, I am a woman all the time.

Whatever works.

yet another Halloween costume photo

The Halloween costume photo I posted here on Friday was one I manipulated in Photoshop to make it look like it was a vintage 1920's photograph. I don't know if I succeeded in achieving that goal, but I liked the results.

Anyway, here is another photo of my Halloween costume. This one is au natural, i.e., no Photoshop manipulation except for cropping the photo to size and removing red eye.

(As usual, click on the image to see it bigger!)

All Hallow's Eve

May you all have a safe and fun-filled All Hallow's Eve!

As for me, after I finish distributing candy to the trick or treaters, I plan to sit down in front of the TV and watch old Frankenstein movies of the Karloff, Lugosi, and Chaney, Jr., era.

Boo!

my flapper Halloween

I attended a Halloween party last night hosted by Sue Nagle at her Joy of Nails Salon & Spa in Waterbury, CT. There were about 25 girls and some of their spouses in attendance. About a third came in costume, as did I (see photo right, click on it to enlarge it). The rest wore little black dresses (costumes, LBDs, or little orange dresses were required attire for admittance). Their was a ton of food and we had a ton of fun.

Beforehand, I stopped at a local grocery store to buy a dessert for the party. The store was busy with after-work shoppers. One female customer checked me out closely (I figure she was trying to figure out my birth gender), another female customers said "hello" (I figure she thought I was a genetic female), and the high school-aged cashiers seemed bemused and/or amused (they knew).

The costume came together nicely and I received a lot of compliments. The gold sequins tunic was an Avon clearance item that I purchased last year for $20, the fishnets were from Hue, and the shoes came from eBay. The accessories (beads, headpiece, boa, and garter) were from one of those Halloween stores that open up in abandoned storefronts in the strip malls every year.

The shoes were a pair I obtained for a Marilyn Monroe Halloween costume I put together back in 2001. Despite their 3-inch heels and pointy toes, they were very comfortable and I could have worn them forever.

Just a word about the Hue fishnets. I am a big fan of Hue tights, so I decided to try their fishnets. They get my seal of approval because they are the first pair of fishnets that I ever wore that did not tear during their first wearing. It is not that I was more careful than usual; no, I was just as clumsy as usual, but the fishnets held up very nicely.

Anyway Happy Halloween to all of you out there in the blogosphere. And don't eat too much candy!

International Wear A Dress Day -- Today!

How fortunate that I am going out en femme this evening and today happens to be International Wear A Dress Day!

Read all about it here, then put on a dress!

removing hair and finding her

Tonight, I will be going out en femme to attend a Halloween party. It has been just over a month since my previous outing en femme, so I had to do some maintenance this morning in preparation for this evening.

The hair that I removed last month had grown back. Although, it was very sparse, I still had to remove it in order to look and feel fully feminine, so this morning, I put hair removal cream on my legs, arms, and chest.

After the cream had chemically reacted with the hair, I got in the shower and used a wet face cloth to remove the cream (now mixed with hair) and revealed the smooth, hairless legs of a woman.

Depiltating my legs is a part of my femulation routine that really does it for me every time!

President Obama Signs Anti-Hate Crime Bill Into Law

Protects Trans Folks, Too!

Earlier today, President Obama signed the anti-hate crime bill into law, which is the first major piece of civil rights legislation for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

The Matthew Shepard Hate Crime Prevention Act bears the name of a gay college student from Wyoming who was brutally tortured and murdered by two attackers in 1998. Its passage also honors the memory of Senator Ted Kennedy, who fought tirelessly for more than a decade to expand federal anti-hate crime protections to include such crimes.

This historic anti-hate crime law will:

* Allow federal authorities to more easily investigate and prosecute crimes motivated by race, color, or beliefs;

* Update the law to include crimes motivated by disability status, gender, or sexual orientation; and

* Strengthen federal support for state and local law enforcement agencies in the investigation and prosecution of hate-motivated violence.

Desmond, she's a singer with the band

As I mentioned before, I am a huge Beatles fan.

I have all their LPs, most of their 45s, some of their EPs, some of their cassettes, all their CDs, some foreign LPs, lots of bootleg LPs, lots of bootleg CDs, stuff you never heard of, common stuff, and rare stuff, lots of stuff. (That's one advantage of being an old lady like me: I was able to buy all the stuff when it was new and just released, not after it became rare.)

In case you missed it, they remastered all the Beatles' LPs and released the new remastered LPs on CD last month. In addition to individual CD LPs, they also released two boxed sets. One set collects all the individual CD LPs, whereas the other box set is completely different.

According to Amazon, "The Beatles Mono Box Set was compiled as a special interest package for the hard-core fan. It presents the first ten albums in re-mastered mono (the final 3 albums made their debuts in stereo only), and a double album of singles and EPs, called Mono Masters.

"Why would anyone want a newly minted mono collection? The final mono songs were sometimes different. Stereo mixes were usually done days, if not weeks after the original mono mix, and could include different takes when the engineers made the overdubs. Stereo mixes, particularly for the first five albums, did not include as much critical listening from George Martin, and almost none from the Fab Four."

Yes, way back when the Beatles started recording, mono was king and stereo was something that only audio aficianados dabbled in. So recording artists of the era put all their effort into their mono recordings; the stereo recordings were an afterthought.

Although I am definitely a hard-core fan, in these economically-challenged days, I was not in a rush to go out and buy both boxed sets. I figured I would wait until the feeding frenzy ended and the prices dropped a bit, but then I learned that the mono set was a limited edition and was selling out at a lot of retailers.

I hightailed it to Amazon and discovered that they were sold out, but they indicated that the demand for the mono set was so high that a second limited run was in the works, so I anted up and ordered a set on September 9.

October 23 was the day USPS delivered my mono boxed set.

The boxed set is very nice. Each CD LP replicates the cover of the original British version of the LPs including any extraneous contents. For example, the White Album has "The Beatles" embossed in raised letters on the white cover just like the original and includes miniature versions of the poster and Beatles portraits that accompanied the original LP. There is also a nicely done booklet packaged with the boxed set.

So far, the music is disappointing. I am working my way backwards and have listened to the two Mono Masters CDs and the White Album and to tell you the truth, I have not noticed much difference between the original recordings and the new remasters.

Maybe that is due to the fact that I am used to listening to the old stereo versions and not the mono versions. The songs on the greatest hits CD, One, released back in 2000, were the first Beatles' songs to be remastered and those stereo remasters blew me away, so I have a feeling that when I hear the new stereo remasters, I will notice a big difference.

Anyway, during all the hubbub concerning the release of the remasters, I learned something new about one of the trans references in the Beatles' music.

In one verse of Obladi Oblada, Paul sings,

"Molly stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band"

Two verses later, Paul sings,

"Desmond stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band"

I always thought the Desmond reference was an intentional trans reference just like the "Sweet Loretta Martin" reference in Get Back, but in a recent interview, Paul claims that it was just a flub during the recording of the song that they decided to not fix.

I dunno. I prefer my take on Desmond and I am going to stick with it.

fat content discontent

Click on the image to enlarge it.

my traditional Halloween

When I attend a civilian Halloween event, I dress like a woman on the street (and I don't mean a street-walker). For example, when there was a Halloween costume contest at work, I dressed in "office girl drag" trying to emulate how women typically dress for the office.

On the other hand, when I attend a trans Halloween event (like I plan to do Thursday evening), I dress in a costume that a woman might wear on Halloween. For example, for my support group's past Halloween parties, I dressed as a school girl, Marilyn Monroe, Jacqueline Kennedy, French maid, bat girl (photo right), and Playboy bunny, among other things.

Why?

For trans Halloween events, the answer is easy.

I dress in a costume a woman might wear because in the trans world, I normally dress as a woman. As a result, a "woman on the street" costume would not be a costume (unless I dressed like a street-walker).

For civilian Halloween events, the answer is more complicated.

I could dress in a costume a woman might wear for civilian Halloween events, but I never have.

Like many of us, my first forays in public en femme were on Halloween. Just dressing as a woman among civilians was a major accomplishment and the thrill of a lifetime of anticipation.

Dressing like a woman on the street rather than say a Playboy bunny, I might get fewer of those knowing looks that imply that I crossdress more often than just October 31. But I always femulate too well, not like the average guy in drag on Halloween, so I get lots of those knowing looks, but I'm not sensitive about it. If someone confronts me, I come right back with "Normally, I only crossdress on weekends" and they don't know what to say.

So, dressing like a woman on the street for civilian Halloween events does not buy me much with regard to fooling anyone about my proclivity to crossdress. However, the comment, "who is the woman (referring to me) not wearing a costume" never gets old.

I guess that dressing like a woman on the street for civilian events has become my personal Halloween tradition. That's my story and I'm sticking to it

my turn

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Fantasia Fair from a civilian's perspective

Having attended Fantasia Fair last year and likely to attend again in the future, I found a Provincetown civilian's take on the event very enlightening. You can read all that Seida Bacon wrote here, but I want a highlight a couple of things.

We are lousy tippers.

Seida works at an eatery in Provincetown and wrote, "Now, y'all don't get me wrong-- I love all my Trans sisters & brothers. Just another color of the rainbow. It's just that they're so damned stingy with their tips! Worse than the Lesbians of Women's Week. (Although generally less demanding than the Dykes.) I guess they're stingy because they're saving up for the next surgery or new outfit. One day, tips totalled less than $8 for the entire day! Come on, girls! Seida's got to make a living too! I need new outfits (and wigs, makeup, etc.) too!"

We are not fashionistas.

"Trannies could use some style tips... Makeup, clothing, hair, accessories, etc. from the [drag] queens. If I saw another 6' 'gal' this week in ugly flats, boring black business skirt and mis-matched blouse, topped by a most atrocious polyester matted wig, I thought I would abduct her, take her home and glamorize her! Maybe that's what happened to Ashley... She found a Trannie to train! I mean, you came to Ptown to live a full week as your alternate gender self! Live it up! Let your hair down (or put it up). Everybody here knows you're Trans, and we love you anyway and call you by your girl (or boy) names. Even if you never tip and still walk like a lumberjack."

To tell you the truth, I may be guilty on both counts.

I usually tip 15 to 20% unless the service is lousy, so depending on what is considered "stingy," I might be a lousy tipper in some service people's eyes.

During the day at Fantasia Fair, I usually dressed conservatively to fit in (as in the photo above right), but like Seida wrote, everyone knows we are trannies, so why not glam it up. Next time, I will take her advice and glam it up 24/7.

four five-foot teners

Femulate reader Molly Harris alerted me that fashion model Emily Caillon is 5’10” tall and coincidentally, I discovered three other fashion models, who are 6’ minus 2” tall: Daisy Lowe, Guinevere Van Seenus (above left), and Lara Stone (above right).

I am happy to add these four lovely ladies to my Famous Females of Height List.

welcome to the center of the blog universe

Last night, I was settling in to watch the only television show I never miss, 30 Rock. With a few minutes to go before the show and my laptop in my lap, I decided to check my blog to make sure it has not blown up.

In all my years of my blogging, no blog of mine has ever blown up, so checking my blog is more of a motherly thing... just checking in to see that everything is alright with my baby.

Turned out that everything was copacetic with the blog, so I scanned the "Newest Postings From My Blog List" sidebar to see if any of the blogs I follow have any new postings. I blink my eyes because I could not believe what I saw, a new posting from Beck's Cafe titled "Femulate: Center of the blog universe."

Whoa! What's this all about?

I skip over to Beck's Cafe as fast as my trackpad would take me and read Rebecca's very kind words about my blog and her claim that Femulate is in fact, the center of the blog universe because among other things, it is a big source of traffic for other trans-related blogs.

Wow! I felt so undeserving of such praise (and turned red as a beet) especially since I was unaware of Femulate's referral power. A few people have mentioned to me in the past that they get some traffic from my blog, but I was not aware of how much traffic as well as how many blogs get that traffic. So, this was quite a revelation.

All I can say is, "Thank you, Rebecca" and "Wow!"

Hate Crime Bill Including Trans Passed by Senate

"The Senate passed groundbreaking legislation Thursday that would make it a federal crime to assault an individual because of his or her sexual orientation or gender identity," so says CNN.

Read all about it here.

a puzzle

(updated below)

What do you call a male who believes she is a female, but is happy living in her male body?

She has no interest in taking hormones or having surgery to change her male body into an approximation of a female body.

She lives part-time as a male and part-time as a female, but prefers living as a female. If the circumstances of her marriage and employment were different, she would live full-time as a female.

What do you call such a person?

UPDATE: I was describing myself when I wrote this post. I was curious how other people would label someone like me, so that if someone asked, I could tell them what I am.

Since there was no real consensus, I will just tell them that I am "me."

he femulated gallery

By popular demand, I created a new web page, the He Femulated Gallery, that archives all the images that previously appeared in the "He Femulated" sidebar (left).

The archive also includes the "Crossdressed in the Past" images that I have featured here in the blog on occasion, as well as other femulation images of interest.

The new web page is a work-in-progress and I will probably break it up into multiple pages because of its length.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Staci needs new shoes

(updated below)

I gave up looking in the local brick and mortar shoe stores for gold strappy sandals to wear to the formal I am attending next month. That color and style of shoe is not easy to find in my size. So I went shopping online at Endless and Zappos.

Nice thing about these two online retailers is that they provide free shipping both ways, i.e., not only will they ship you your order for free, but if you want to return something, they also pay for the return shipping. I wish the online woman's clothing retailers had the same deal; if they did, I would definitely order more clothing online than I do now.

Back to the shoe. I found four candidates, two on each web site. To help make my decision, I read the previous buyers' comments about the shoes paying special attention to any comments about comfort or lack thereof. (I already own too many pairs of fabulous looking shoes that make my feet cry.)

I chose a J. Reneé sandal dubbed "Glamour" (photo above right) from Zappos. Within an hour, I received an e-mail confirming my order and notifying me that they are upgrading its shipment from free standard shipping (4 to 5 business days) to special priority shipping (also free), which means my shoes ship later today.

Yay!

UPDATE: The sandals arrived today and they are absolutely gorgeous, but they are about one size too small (I ordered my size, but this shoe runs small). The sandals do not come in a larger size, so I am back to square one looking for gold strappy sandals to wear to the formal.

Darn!

Provincetown this week, last year

(updated below)

One year ago today, I drove to Provincetown, Massachusetts, to spend the week on the tip of Cape Cod participating in Fantasia Fair.

The past few days, the weather in Southern New England (cold, damp, windy, overcast, gloomy, and downright depressing) reminded me of the weather in Provincetown that week, which was also cold, damp, windy, overcast, gloomy, but not depressing because it was my first time at Fantasia Fair and as a first-timer, I was full of anticipation about what my week en femme would bring.

In general, I was not disappointed. (You can read my adventure at Fantasia Fair here.) By week's end, I was so enthusiastic about the experience that I thought I would return this year. But after returning to the planet Earth, I reconsidered.

For one thing, it is an expensive getaway. Luckily, I live close enough that I can drive to Provincetown in a few hours, so transportation is not a big expense. However, the event itself costs $675 for the whole week, less if you go for a half-week, and a room costs $100 per night more or less depending where you stay. Figure in another $100 or two to cover incidentals and you are looking at $2000 in expenses.

In light of the economy and the industry I work in, facing an extra $2000 in bills was a little scary.

The other thing is familiarity. I don't go to the state fair every year because I will see the same pigs. So, instead of going every year, I skip a year and encounter some new pigs by doing so. Same with Fantasia Fair. If I went again this year, it would seem so familiar, like watching a rerun of last year and for $2000, I don't want a rerun.

One of the big selling points of Fantasia Fair is that it is a town-wide event. You are not stuck in one hotel for the event; instead you are welcome throughout the town and you can go out en femme wherever and whenever you want. Personally, I don't need Fantasia Fair to go out en femme. As long as I avoid establishments with motorcycles out front, I feel comfortable going wherever I wish, so that part of Fantasia Fair's attraction is not an attraction for me.

On the other hand, I feel bad about not being able to reacquaint myself with all the friends I made in Provincetown last year. As I sit at my computer writing this, I am monitoring a Provincetown web cam located about two blocks from the hotel where I stayed last year, hoping to catch a glimpse of a friend. (So far, I have not recognized anyone.)

In addition to wanting to see my friends and acquaintances from last year, I also want to perform in the Fantasia Fair Follies. (Last year, I chose to model in the Fantasia Fair fashion show over performing in the Follies.)

All that being said, I plan to return to Fantasia Fair next year.

UPDATE: Casually monitoring the web cam all morning, I have seen only one trans woman from Fantasia Fair and it was someone I did not recognize. She was wearing a name badge on a lanyard around her neck and she asked someone to take her photo in front of the town hall, so I am kind of sure that she was a Fantasia Fair attendee.

never on a Sunday

This Sunday finds some controversy on the femulation front.

On the right side of the Atlantic, there is a big brouhaha over a calendar released by a Spanish LGBT rights organization. The calendar mimics religious paintings and features transgender models dressed like the Virgin Mary. (photo right)

This is not sitting well in the predominantly Catholic Spain.

Meanwhile back in the States, Peaches alerted me to this story about Morehouse College's new dress code that bans its students from wearing female attire.

Morehouse is an all male college and the crossdressing ban is aimed at "about five students who are living a gay lifestyle."

The campus' gay organization supported the ban with a 24 to 3 vote.

So far, I have been unable to determine whether the crossdressing students are transgender or not.