Desmond, she's a singer with the band

As I mentioned before, I am a huge Beatles fan.

I have all their LPs, most of their 45s, some of their EPs, some of their cassettes, all their CDs, some foreign LPs, lots of bootleg LPs, lots of bootleg CDs, stuff you never heard of, common stuff, and rare stuff, lots of stuff. (That's one advantage of being an old lady like me: I was able to buy all the stuff when it was new and just released, not after it became rare.)

In case you missed it, they remastered all the Beatles' LPs and released the new remastered LPs on CD last month. In addition to individual CD LPs, they also released two boxed sets. One set collects all the individual CD LPs, whereas the other box set is completely different.

According to Amazon, "The Beatles Mono Box Set was compiled as a special interest package for the hard-core fan. It presents the first ten albums in re-mastered mono (the final 3 albums made their debuts in stereo only), and a double album of singles and EPs, called Mono Masters.

"Why would anyone want a newly minted mono collection? The final mono songs were sometimes different. Stereo mixes were usually done days, if not weeks after the original mono mix, and could include different takes when the engineers made the overdubs. Stereo mixes, particularly for the first five albums, did not include as much critical listening from George Martin, and almost none from the Fab Four."

Yes, way back when the Beatles started recording, mono was king and stereo was something that only audio aficianados dabbled in. So recording artists of the era put all their effort into their mono recordings; the stereo recordings were an afterthought.

Although I am definitely a hard-core fan, in these economically-challenged days, I was not in a rush to go out and buy both boxed sets. I figured I would wait until the feeding frenzy ended and the prices dropped a bit, but then I learned that the mono set was a limited edition and was selling out at a lot of retailers.

I hightailed it to Amazon and discovered that they were sold out, but they indicated that the demand for the mono set was so high that a second limited run was in the works, so I anted up and ordered a set on September 9.

October 23 was the day USPS delivered my mono boxed set.

The boxed set is very nice. Each CD LP replicates the cover of the original British version of the LPs including any extraneous contents. For example, the White Album has "The Beatles" embossed in raised letters on the white cover just like the original and includes miniature versions of the poster and Beatles portraits that accompanied the original LP. There is also a nicely done booklet packaged with the boxed set.

So far, the music is disappointing. I am working my way backwards and have listened to the two Mono Masters CDs and the White Album and to tell you the truth, I have not noticed much difference between the original recordings and the new remasters.

Maybe that is due to the fact that I am used to listening to the old stereo versions and not the mono versions. The songs on the greatest hits CD, One, released back in 2000, were the first Beatles' songs to be remastered and those stereo remasters blew me away, so I have a feeling that when I hear the new stereo remasters, I will notice a big difference.

Anyway, during all the hubbub concerning the release of the remasters, I learned something new about one of the trans references in the Beatles' music.

In one verse of Obladi Oblada, Paul sings,

"Molly stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band"

Two verses later, Paul sings,

"Desmond stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band"

I always thought the Desmond reference was an intentional trans reference just like the "Sweet Loretta Martin" reference in Get Back, but in a recent interview, Paul claims that it was just a flub during the recording of the song that they decided to not fix.

I dunno. I prefer my take on Desmond and I am going to stick with it.

fat content discontent

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my traditional Halloween

When I attend a civilian Halloween event, I dress like a woman on the street (and I don't mean a street-walker). For example, when there was a Halloween costume contest at work, I dressed in "office girl drag" trying to emulate how women typically dress for the office.

On the other hand, when I attend a trans Halloween event (like I plan to do Thursday evening), I dress in a costume that a woman might wear on Halloween. For example, for my support group's past Halloween parties, I dressed as a school girl, Marilyn Monroe, Jacqueline Kennedy, French maid, bat girl (photo right), and Playboy bunny, among other things.

Why?

For trans Halloween events, the answer is easy.

I dress in a costume a woman might wear because in the trans world, I normally dress as a woman. As a result, a "woman on the street" costume would not be a costume (unless I dressed like a street-walker).

For civilian Halloween events, the answer is more complicated.

I could dress in a costume a woman might wear for civilian Halloween events, but I never have.

Like many of us, my first forays in public en femme were on Halloween. Just dressing as a woman among civilians was a major accomplishment and the thrill of a lifetime of anticipation.

Dressing like a woman on the street rather than say a Playboy bunny, I might get fewer of those knowing looks that imply that I crossdress more often than just October 31. But I always femulate too well, not like the average guy in drag on Halloween, so I get lots of those knowing looks, but I'm not sensitive about it. If someone confronts me, I come right back with "Normally, I only crossdress on weekends" and they don't know what to say.

So, dressing like a woman on the street for civilian Halloween events does not buy me much with regard to fooling anyone about my proclivity to crossdress. However, the comment, "who is the woman (referring to me) not wearing a costume" never gets old.

I guess that dressing like a woman on the street for civilian events has become my personal Halloween tradition. That's my story and I'm sticking to it

my turn

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Fantasia Fair from a civilian's perspective

Having attended Fantasia Fair last year and likely to attend again in the future, I found a Provincetown civilian's take on the event very enlightening. You can read all that Seida Bacon wrote here, but I want a highlight a couple of things.

We are lousy tippers.

Seida works at an eatery in Provincetown and wrote, "Now, y'all don't get me wrong-- I love all my Trans sisters & brothers. Just another color of the rainbow. It's just that they're so damned stingy with their tips! Worse than the Lesbians of Women's Week. (Although generally less demanding than the Dykes.) I guess they're stingy because they're saving up for the next surgery or new outfit. One day, tips totalled less than $8 for the entire day! Come on, girls! Seida's got to make a living too! I need new outfits (and wigs, makeup, etc.) too!"

We are not fashionistas.

"Trannies could use some style tips... Makeup, clothing, hair, accessories, etc. from the [drag] queens. If I saw another 6' 'gal' this week in ugly flats, boring black business skirt and mis-matched blouse, topped by a most atrocious polyester matted wig, I thought I would abduct her, take her home and glamorize her! Maybe that's what happened to Ashley... She found a Trannie to train! I mean, you came to Ptown to live a full week as your alternate gender self! Live it up! Let your hair down (or put it up). Everybody here knows you're Trans, and we love you anyway and call you by your girl (or boy) names. Even if you never tip and still walk like a lumberjack."

To tell you the truth, I may be guilty on both counts.

I usually tip 15 to 20% unless the service is lousy, so depending on what is considered "stingy," I might be a lousy tipper in some service people's eyes.

During the day at Fantasia Fair, I usually dressed conservatively to fit in (as in the photo above right), but like Seida wrote, everyone knows we are trannies, so why not glam it up. Next time, I will take her advice and glam it up 24/7.

four five-foot teners

Femulate reader Molly Harris alerted me that fashion model Emily Caillon is 5’10” tall and coincidentally, I discovered three other fashion models, who are 6’ minus 2” tall: Daisy Lowe, Guinevere Van Seenus (above left), and Lara Stone (above right).

I am happy to add these four lovely ladies to my Famous Females of Height List.

welcome to the center of the blog universe

Last night, I was settling in to watch the only television show I never miss, 30 Rock. With a few minutes to go before the show and my laptop in my lap, I decided to check my blog to make sure it has not blown up.

In all my years of my blogging, no blog of mine has ever blown up, so checking my blog is more of a motherly thing... just checking in to see that everything is alright with my baby.

Turned out that everything was copacetic with the blog, so I scanned the "Newest Postings From My Blog List" sidebar to see if any of the blogs I follow have any new postings. I blink my eyes because I could not believe what I saw, a new posting from Beck's Cafe titled "Femulate: Center of the blog universe."

Whoa! What's this all about?

I skip over to Beck's Cafe as fast as my trackpad would take me and read Rebecca's very kind words about my blog and her claim that Femulate is in fact, the center of the blog universe because among other things, it is a big source of traffic for other trans-related blogs.

Wow! I felt so undeserving of such praise (and turned red as a beet) especially since I was unaware of Femulate's referral power. A few people have mentioned to me in the past that they get some traffic from my blog, but I was not aware of how much traffic as well as how many blogs get that traffic. So, this was quite a revelation.

All I can say is, "Thank you, Rebecca" and "Wow!"

Hate Crime Bill Including Trans Passed by Senate

"The Senate passed groundbreaking legislation Thursday that would make it a federal crime to assault an individual because of his or her sexual orientation or gender identity," so says CNN.

Read all about it here.

a puzzle

(updated below)

What do you call a male who believes she is a female, but is happy living in her male body?

She has no interest in taking hormones or having surgery to change her male body into an approximation of a female body.

She lives part-time as a male and part-time as a female, but prefers living as a female. If the circumstances of her marriage and employment were different, she would live full-time as a female.

What do you call such a person?

UPDATE: I was describing myself when I wrote this post. I was curious how other people would label someone like me, so that if someone asked, I could tell them what I am.

Since there was no real consensus, I will just tell them that I am "me."

he femulated gallery

By popular demand, I created a new web page, the He Femulated Gallery, that archives all the images that previously appeared in the "He Femulated" sidebar (left).

The archive also includes the "Crossdressed in the Past" images that I have featured here in the blog on occasion, as well as other femulation images of interest.

The new web page is a work-in-progress and I will probably break it up into multiple pages because of its length.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Staci needs new shoes

(updated below)

I gave up looking in the local brick and mortar shoe stores for gold strappy sandals to wear to the formal I am attending next month. That color and style of shoe is not easy to find in my size. So I went shopping online at Endless and Zappos.

Nice thing about these two online retailers is that they provide free shipping both ways, i.e., not only will they ship you your order for free, but if you want to return something, they also pay for the return shipping. I wish the online woman's clothing retailers had the same deal; if they did, I would definitely order more clothing online than I do now.

Back to the shoe. I found four candidates, two on each web site. To help make my decision, I read the previous buyers' comments about the shoes paying special attention to any comments about comfort or lack thereof. (I already own too many pairs of fabulous looking shoes that make my feet cry.)

I chose a J. Reneé sandal dubbed "Glamour" (photo above right) from Zappos. Within an hour, I received an e-mail confirming my order and notifying me that they are upgrading its shipment from free standard shipping (4 to 5 business days) to special priority shipping (also free), which means my shoes ship later today.

Yay!

UPDATE: The sandals arrived today and they are absolutely gorgeous, but they are about one size too small (I ordered my size, but this shoe runs small). The sandals do not come in a larger size, so I am back to square one looking for gold strappy sandals to wear to the formal.

Darn!

Provincetown this week, last year

(updated below)

One year ago today, I drove to Provincetown, Massachusetts, to spend the week on the tip of Cape Cod participating in Fantasia Fair.

The past few days, the weather in Southern New England (cold, damp, windy, overcast, gloomy, and downright depressing) reminded me of the weather in Provincetown that week, which was also cold, damp, windy, overcast, gloomy, but not depressing because it was my first time at Fantasia Fair and as a first-timer, I was full of anticipation about what my week en femme would bring.

In general, I was not disappointed. (You can read my adventure at Fantasia Fair here.) By week's end, I was so enthusiastic about the experience that I thought I would return this year. But after returning to the planet Earth, I reconsidered.

For one thing, it is an expensive getaway. Luckily, I live close enough that I can drive to Provincetown in a few hours, so transportation is not a big expense. However, the event itself costs $675 for the whole week, less if you go for a half-week, and a room costs $100 per night more or less depending where you stay. Figure in another $100 or two to cover incidentals and you are looking at $2000 in expenses.

In light of the economy and the industry I work in, facing an extra $2000 in bills was a little scary.

The other thing is familiarity. I don't go to the state fair every year because I will see the same pigs. So, instead of going every year, I skip a year and encounter some new pigs by doing so. Same with Fantasia Fair. If I went again this year, it would seem so familiar, like watching a rerun of last year and for $2000, I don't want a rerun.

One of the big selling points of Fantasia Fair is that it is a town-wide event. You are not stuck in one hotel for the event; instead you are welcome throughout the town and you can go out en femme wherever and whenever you want. Personally, I don't need Fantasia Fair to go out en femme. As long as I avoid establishments with motorcycles out front, I feel comfortable going wherever I wish, so that part of Fantasia Fair's attraction is not an attraction for me.

On the other hand, I feel bad about not being able to reacquaint myself with all the friends I made in Provincetown last year. As I sit at my computer writing this, I am monitoring a Provincetown web cam located about two blocks from the hotel where I stayed last year, hoping to catch a glimpse of a friend. (So far, I have not recognized anyone.)

In addition to wanting to see my friends and acquaintances from last year, I also want to perform in the Fantasia Fair Follies. (Last year, I chose to model in the Fantasia Fair fashion show over performing in the Follies.)

All that being said, I plan to return to Fantasia Fair next year.

UPDATE: Casually monitoring the web cam all morning, I have seen only one trans woman from Fantasia Fair and it was someone I did not recognize. She was wearing a name badge on a lanyard around her neck and she asked someone to take her photo in front of the town hall, so I am kind of sure that she was a Fantasia Fair attendee.

never on a Sunday

This Sunday finds some controversy on the femulation front.

On the right side of the Atlantic, there is a big brouhaha over a calendar released by a Spanish LGBT rights organization. The calendar mimics religious paintings and features transgender models dressed like the Virgin Mary. (photo right)

This is not sitting well in the predominantly Catholic Spain.

Meanwhile back in the States, Peaches alerted me to this story about Morehouse College's new dress code that bans its students from wearing female attire.

Morehouse is an all male college and the crossdressing ban is aimed at "about five students who are living a gay lifestyle."

The campus' gay organization supported the ban with a 24 to 3 vote.

So far, I have been unable to determine whether the crossdressing students are transgender or not.

WWJD?

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updates

Dunno if you noticed, but two weeks ago, I added a blurb below my profile in the right sidebar that announces updates to my web pages.

The latest update is "yet another new Halloween adventure in which Staci dresses like Britney dressing like a schoolgirl."

And FYI, the previous update announced another "new Halloween adventure in which Staci goes to work en femme again."

So, be sure to check the "what's new on my pages:" blurb occasionally so that you don't miss anything!

male modernization

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like mother, like son

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shopping

(updated below)

I exchanged e-mails with Patty, my de facto fashion consultant, on Friday and she was not too happy with my choice of dress for the formal I will be attending next month. She liked the dress (a Mad Men retro style sheath), but she did not think it was formal enough for a formal.

I agreed and began looking around for something else.

Jessica London sent me an e-mail that resulted in a 40% discount on one item, so I looked around their Web site and found a dress that both Patty and I thought was perfect for the event. It is a simple black A-line with goldtone beading along the neckline (see photo above). I ordered the dress and await its delivery.

I need shoes to go with the dress, so I checked out the Payless Web site and found some likely candidates. I know my local Payless restocks on Tuesday, so I planned to go there at lunch time to shop.

I am getting wiser in my old age. In anticipation of my Payless visit, I put on a pair of knee-highs and wore them to work under my socks and I took off my socks before I drove to Payless.

I know that Payless has peds in the store, but I dislike having to remove my socks to put on peds in the store if the store is busy. I don't want to attract a lot of attention. Trying on heels is attention-getting enough, but removing socks and putting on the peds just adds more potential attention-getting time, so I came prepared with knee-highs on and socks off. As it turned out, I was the only customer in the store.

Payless had one pair in stock in my size that I liked when I saw it online, a stacked peep-toe slingback (see photo below). I tried it on and it fit perfectly, so I bought it.

Payless is having a buy-one and get-one half-off promotion, but there was no other shoe that I liked that fit. The cashier reminded me of the promotion when I cashed out and I told her that I could not find anything else.

She then informed me that they will be restocking this afternoon and if I bring back my receipt, I can still take advantage of the promotion if I find anything else that I like.

Online, they showed a pair of gold strappy sandals that I thought would go perfect with my dress, so I will go back tomorrow and see what they have.

A local trans Halloween party is in the works for the 29th and I plan to go as a Roaring Twenties flapper. I already have a dress that will do: a gold sequins short-sleeved tunic. All I need is accessories, so after shopping at Payless, I visited the party store next door and purchased everything I needed: a black feathered flapper headpiece, a black garter, a six-foot long black boa, and two long strings of beads.

Woo woo!
UPDATE: I went back to Payless on Wednesday and they had nothing new in the Amazonian sizes I wear.

gender on my mind

Most people do not think much about their gender. They go about their lives, day-to-day, interacting with their world without considering their gender. They are acclimated to the role that meets society's expectations for their gender and their lives go on with few, if any any issues related to gender.

On the other hand, some people think about their gender all the time. Thoughts about their gender fill their waking hours. They are not acclimated to the gender role that meets society's expectations. Everywhere they turn, issues arise that cause conflicts in their mind related to gender.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you probably are in the latter group of people rather than the former. I know I am.

Gender is on my mind most of the time. When I get dressed in the morning, I often think about how I would prefer donning a female wardrobe rather than a male wardrobe. When I interact with society during my day, I often ask myself, "what would 'she' do?" in certain situations and how would society react to "she," rather than 'he." Even when I am asleep, I cannot get away from it because most of my dreams concern gender issues.

Sometimes, when I find myself thinking about gender, I berate myself because I feel I should be doing something more constructive than thinking about gender. And I wonder how my life would be if I resolved my gender issues, that is, if I lived as a woman 24/7, would all my thoughts and concerns about gender go away? Then would I be able to accomplish more than I am accomplishing now?

I fear that the answer is "no." Gender would still be on my mind. Some new gender issues would occupy my time and some old gender issues would haunt me.

Such is the lot of a transgender.

red is your color

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