Provincetown this week, last year

(updated below)

One year ago today, I drove to Provincetown, Massachusetts, to spend the week on the tip of Cape Cod participating in Fantasia Fair.

The past few days, the weather in Southern New England (cold, damp, windy, overcast, gloomy, and downright depressing) reminded me of the weather in Provincetown that week, which was also cold, damp, windy, overcast, gloomy, but not depressing because it was my first time at Fantasia Fair and as a first-timer, I was full of anticipation about what my week en femme would bring.

In general, I was not disappointed. (You can read my adventure at Fantasia Fair here.) By week's end, I was so enthusiastic about the experience that I thought I would return this year. But after returning to the planet Earth, I reconsidered.

For one thing, it is an expensive getaway. Luckily, I live close enough that I can drive to Provincetown in a few hours, so transportation is not a big expense. However, the event itself costs $675 for the whole week, less if you go for a half-week, and a room costs $100 per night more or less depending where you stay. Figure in another $100 or two to cover incidentals and you are looking at $2000 in expenses.

In light of the economy and the industry I work in, facing an extra $2000 in bills was a little scary.

The other thing is familiarity. I don't go to the state fair every year because I will see the same pigs. So, instead of going every year, I skip a year and encounter some new pigs by doing so. Same with Fantasia Fair. If I went again this year, it would seem so familiar, like watching a rerun of last year and for $2000, I don't want a rerun.

One of the big selling points of Fantasia Fair is that it is a town-wide event. You are not stuck in one hotel for the event; instead you are welcome throughout the town and you can go out en femme wherever and whenever you want. Personally, I don't need Fantasia Fair to go out en femme. As long as I avoid establishments with motorcycles out front, I feel comfortable going wherever I wish, so that part of Fantasia Fair's attraction is not an attraction for me.

On the other hand, I feel bad about not being able to reacquaint myself with all the friends I made in Provincetown last year. As I sit at my computer writing this, I am monitoring a Provincetown web cam located about two blocks from the hotel where I stayed last year, hoping to catch a glimpse of a friend. (So far, I have not recognized anyone.)

In addition to wanting to see my friends and acquaintances from last year, I also want to perform in the Fantasia Fair Follies. (Last year, I chose to model in the Fantasia Fair fashion show over performing in the Follies.)

All that being said, I plan to return to Fantasia Fair next year.

UPDATE: Casually monitoring the web cam all morning, I have seen only one trans woman from Fantasia Fair and it was someone I did not recognize. She was wearing a name badge on a lanyard around her neck and she asked someone to take her photo in front of the town hall, so I am kind of sure that she was a Fantasia Fair attendee.

never on a Sunday

This Sunday finds some controversy on the femulation front.

On the right side of the Atlantic, there is a big brouhaha over a calendar released by a Spanish LGBT rights organization. The calendar mimics religious paintings and features transgender models dressed like the Virgin Mary. (photo right)

This is not sitting well in the predominantly Catholic Spain.

Meanwhile back in the States, Peaches alerted me to this story about Morehouse College's new dress code that bans its students from wearing female attire.

Morehouse is an all male college and the crossdressing ban is aimed at "about five students who are living a gay lifestyle."

The campus' gay organization supported the ban with a 24 to 3 vote.

So far, I have been unable to determine whether the crossdressing students are transgender or not.

WWJD?

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updates

Dunno if you noticed, but two weeks ago, I added a blurb below my profile in the right sidebar that announces updates to my web pages.

The latest update is "yet another new Halloween adventure in which Staci dresses like Britney dressing like a schoolgirl."

And FYI, the previous update announced another "new Halloween adventure in which Staci goes to work en femme again."

So, be sure to check the "what's new on my pages:" blurb occasionally so that you don't miss anything!

male modernization

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like mother, like son

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shopping

(updated below)

I exchanged e-mails with Patty, my de facto fashion consultant, on Friday and she was not too happy with my choice of dress for the formal I will be attending next month. She liked the dress (a Mad Men retro style sheath), but she did not think it was formal enough for a formal.

I agreed and began looking around for something else.

Jessica London sent me an e-mail that resulted in a 40% discount on one item, so I looked around their Web site and found a dress that both Patty and I thought was perfect for the event. It is a simple black A-line with goldtone beading along the neckline (see photo above). I ordered the dress and await its delivery.

I need shoes to go with the dress, so I checked out the Payless Web site and found some likely candidates. I know my local Payless restocks on Tuesday, so I planned to go there at lunch time to shop.

I am getting wiser in my old age. In anticipation of my Payless visit, I put on a pair of knee-highs and wore them to work under my socks and I took off my socks before I drove to Payless.

I know that Payless has peds in the store, but I dislike having to remove my socks to put on peds in the store if the store is busy. I don't want to attract a lot of attention. Trying on heels is attention-getting enough, but removing socks and putting on the peds just adds more potential attention-getting time, so I came prepared with knee-highs on and socks off. As it turned out, I was the only customer in the store.

Payless had one pair in stock in my size that I liked when I saw it online, a stacked peep-toe slingback (see photo below). I tried it on and it fit perfectly, so I bought it.

Payless is having a buy-one and get-one half-off promotion, but there was no other shoe that I liked that fit. The cashier reminded me of the promotion when I cashed out and I told her that I could not find anything else.

She then informed me that they will be restocking this afternoon and if I bring back my receipt, I can still take advantage of the promotion if I find anything else that I like.

Online, they showed a pair of gold strappy sandals that I thought would go perfect with my dress, so I will go back tomorrow and see what they have.

A local trans Halloween party is in the works for the 29th and I plan to go as a Roaring Twenties flapper. I already have a dress that will do: a gold sequins short-sleeved tunic. All I need is accessories, so after shopping at Payless, I visited the party store next door and purchased everything I needed: a black feathered flapper headpiece, a black garter, a six-foot long black boa, and two long strings of beads.

Woo woo!
UPDATE: I went back to Payless on Wednesday and they had nothing new in the Amazonian sizes I wear.

gender on my mind

Most people do not think much about their gender. They go about their lives, day-to-day, interacting with their world without considering their gender. They are acclimated to the role that meets society's expectations for their gender and their lives go on with few, if any any issues related to gender.

On the other hand, some people think about their gender all the time. Thoughts about their gender fill their waking hours. They are not acclimated to the gender role that meets society's expectations. Everywhere they turn, issues arise that cause conflicts in their mind related to gender.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you probably are in the latter group of people rather than the former. I know I am.

Gender is on my mind most of the time. When I get dressed in the morning, I often think about how I would prefer donning a female wardrobe rather than a male wardrobe. When I interact with society during my day, I often ask myself, "what would 'she' do?" in certain situations and how would society react to "she," rather than 'he." Even when I am asleep, I cannot get away from it because most of my dreams concern gender issues.

Sometimes, when I find myself thinking about gender, I berate myself because I feel I should be doing something more constructive than thinking about gender. And I wonder how my life would be if I resolved my gender issues, that is, if I lived as a woman 24/7, would all my thoughts and concerns about gender go away? Then would I be able to accomplish more than I am accomplishing now?

I fear that the answer is "no." Gender would still be on my mind. Some new gender issues would occupy my time and some old gender issues would haunt me.

Such is the lot of a transgender.

red is your color

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new Halloween adventure:at work en femme again

I added a new Halloween adventure to My Adventures in Femulation: "at work en femme again."

I hope you enjoy it!

the femulation of Martin Cohn

Last week, I wrote here about male model Martin Cohn, who modeled a cocktail dress at the recent Elise Overland's SS10 fashion show.

Upon further investigation, I discovered that on a daily basis, Mr. Cohn usually dons clothing that is at least androgynous (above left) and often downright feminine (above center).

I also discovered that his cocktail dress catwalk gig last month was not his first foray into modeling women's wear. For example, he appeared en femme modeling a Marc Jacobs skirt (above right) and posed as Candy Darling for an Interview magazine photoshoot.

Wow!

The Sisterhood of the Panty Girdle

Back when I started femulating in the early 1960s, most women wore girdles.

"Girdles were considered essential garments by many women from approximately 1910 to the late 1960s. They created a rigid, controlled figure that was seen as eminently respectable and modest. They were also crucial to the couturier Christian Dior's 1947 New Look, which featured a voluminous skirt and a narrow, nipped-in waistline, also known as a wasp waist.

"Later in the 1960s, the girdle was generally supplanted by pantyhose. Pantyhose replaced girdles for many women who had used the girdle essentially as a means of holding up sheer nylon stockings. Those who want more control purchase "control top" pantyhose. Many women forgo wearing girdles, stockings, and pantyhose entirely." (source Wikipedia)

I know for a fact that all the females in my household wore girdles when I began femulating and I wore a girdle, too. It held up my stockings, held in my belly, and helped give me a feminine figure.

When panythose replaced stockings, I continued to wear a girdle and still wear one today. In addition to shaping my body, it provided another function that became very important when my femulation took me out of the house: a girdle provided an effective way of hiding my private parts. It was more effective and more comfortable than wearing a gaff.

Today, few women wear girdles. I know for a fact that none of the females in my household wear girdles, but I still wear one. My guess is that a lot of other "girls" who started femulating back when I started still include a girdle or two in their wardrobe.

Long live the Sisterhood of the Panty Girdle!

tall Thursday

My tall-radar spotted two actresses on television last week, who meet the minimum requirements for my Famous Females of Height list:

5'8' - Olivia Wilde - Actress - television's House (above left)

5'10" - Wendie Malick - Actress - television's Just Shoot Me (above right)

Meanwhile, Peaches e-mailed me about 6'0" Jane Castor, the chief of police of Tampa, FL.

Crossdressing Student Kicked Out Of Georgia High School

(updated below)

From today's The Huffington Post, "16-year-old Jonathan Escobar has been kicked out of his Georgia high school for dressing too much like a girl. Escobar disputes this saying that when he first moved to Georgia from Miami, he cleared his style of dress with school authorities and they gave him the OK."

Read the rest of the story and view a video here.

UPDATE: The link to the video is gone, but this one may still be good on YouTube.

24 days until Halloween

Less than four weeks until Halloween and I haven't a thing to wear!

It's not that I have not been considering what costume to wear on National Femulation Day; I do have a cute costume in mind. The problem is that I have no place to wear it!

Should I buy the costume and keep my fingers crossed that I will receive an invitation to a Halloween party? Should I buy it anyway (party or not) and keep it handy in case a costume emergency occurs?

Party or not, there is always the "go to work en femme option."

I have done it twice in the past, but both times my employer was sponsoring a Halloween costume contest. So far, my employer is mum on the subject, so I don't know if anything is in the works this year.

In the past, when my employer had no plans for Halloween, I thought about girling it up anyway. A few people always show up in costume, so I would not be alone, but so far, I have not had the nerve to do it.

Maybe this year.

my eyebrows and yours

I visited our public library and took out a book titled Beautiful Brows: The Ultimate Guide to Styling, Shaping, and Maintaining Your Eyebrows by Nancy Parker and Nancy Kalish.

I always worry about my eyebrows because I am not sure I am doing them correctly. And I am not sure because there is a dearth of information about how to do your eyebrows in comparison to the vast amount (and contradictory) information on how to makeup other parts of your face.

This book is a godsend and answers all my questions about doing eyebrows. Actually, I was in the ballpark in the way I have been doing my eyebrows, but there was one big revelation in the book that changes the way I do my brows.

Everything I've read in the past says not to pluck the strays above your eyebrows and I have followed that advice religiously. This book deflates that advice and says to go ahead and pluck above, as well as below.

Immediately after reading that passage, I dropped the book, went to the bathroom, and plucked all the strays above my eyebrows! Now my eyebrows look neat and feminine even in boy mode.

Wednesday redux

Back to work after a week's vacation, I soon ran into my friend and co-worker, who I saw Wednesday evening when I was en femme attending a conference.

We exchanged "good mornings" and she gave no indication that she saw me on Wednesday evening.

I did not see her until about an hour into the conference even though she was sitting just two rows in front of me, so chances are that she did not see me at all. And if she did see me, she did not seem to recognize me.

'Nuff said.

recent femulations of note

My incoming e-mail revealed two recent femulations of note.

Anonymous e-mailed me about the senior boys of Rains High School in Texas, who participated in a womanless wedding last Saturday. You can view photos from the event here on flickr.

The quality of femulation was very good and some of the girls looked stunning (for example, the young lady in the photo above left).

Paula Grant informed me about Martin Cohn, a male model posing as a female modeling a cocktail dress at Elise Overland's SS10 fashion show on September 13 in New York City. You can read all about it here on Black Book and view Martin's image above right.

The Black Book article claims that Martin wore fake boobs, but I don't think so.

wonderful Wednesday

I went out en femme Wednesday evening wearing my new purple sweater dress (see photo right).

An Aside of Staci --- Making up, I used a mascara with a built-in vibrator, Maybelline's Pulse Perfection™ by Define-A-Lash® Vibrating Mascara. It was the second time I used it. The first time, I was a little hesitant and I really did not let it loose, but on Wednesday, I felt more confident and now I am raving about it.

The vibrator does a more thorough job of painting my lashes than I could ever accomplish applying mascara manually. It even painted lashes that I did not know I had!

Usually, I apply mascara at least three times before I am satisfied. With the vibrating mascara, it did a very thorough job the first time; the second pass was gilding the lily.

A Tip --- If you use a vibating mascara, don't turn on the vibrator until you have the mascara brush positioned on your lashes. After each sweep away from your lashes, turn off the vibrator, then restart it only after you have the brush positioned on your lashes again. This method worked very well for me; your mileage may vary.

All girled-up and out the door, my first stop was my favorite Dress Barn, where I shopped for a new winter coat and a new dress to wear to the formal I will be attending next month.

I found nothing in coats that I liked that fit, but I did find a great dress to wear to the formal. It is retro (like me). As soon as I saw it, I imagined Christina Hendricks wearing it on Mad Men and then I imagined myself wearing it to the formal. It fit like a glove, so I bought it.

My second stop was Avenue where I tried on some sweater coats. Nothing really interested me enough to make a purchase, so I left Avenue empty-handed.

(Actually, I was very unimpressed with the selection of clothing in the store. It was my first time shopping there and I don't think I will go out of my way to shop there again.)

My third and last stop was a Four Points Sheraton hotel, where I would meet my female friend, Holly, and go to a conference she invited me to attend.

The conference was a sales pitch for The Landmark Forum. I knew this going in, so it was not a bait and switch scenario.

It was all very intriguing and I am seriously considering attending the forum. The only drawback is that it is expensive, but I may be able to convince my employer to pay for it.

Speaking of my employer, after we were seated in the conference room with approximately 150 to 200 other attendees, I noticed a woman seated two rows ahead of us, who happens to work with me and is someone I consider as a friend.

Immediately, the gears in my mind begin spinning.

She does not know I am trans. However, about a year ago, shortly after she started working at my place, she stopped by my cubicle and literally checked me out, concentrating on my face. Then she said something like, "I wanted to see what you look like."

I was very puzzled and then she dropped the other shoe: she heard I did drag on Halloween and wanted to see what I looked like en homme. Satisfied, she left my cubicle.

I went to work en femme for a Halloween contest back in 2003. I was surprised that five years later, people were still talking about it. I was curious, so later in the afternoon, I visited her to find out who spilled the beans.

It seems she was in a meeting and joked that the company should have a cross-gender day where all the women come in dressed like men and all the men come in dressed as women (sounds like a great idea to me!). Someone else in the meeting, who has been with the company awhile, chimed in about how well I did drag.

She asked me what I wore and I told her about my pinstripe suit and auburn wig. Then, I told her I would e-mail her a photo, which I did immediately.

She responded that I looked very good, had good taste, and maybe I could do it again if the company decided to have another Halloween event.

I responded that I might wear a costume on Halloween whether there was a special Halloween event or not.

She responded, "Why not."

Since breaking the ice with her then, we have become very friendly and chat frequently. She has become my best female friend at work, but she does not know I am trans.

I wondered if she saw me walk into the conference room Wednesday evening. Even if she did see me, I doubt if she recognized me because I look very different from the photo I sent her, but you never know.

While the sales pitch went on, I considered coming out to her. I know she is very accepting and trustworthy, so I felt I could share my secret with her. Also, since she is the administrator for my division's president, I thought she might be a good ally to have in case I decided to come out at work.

But as soon as there was a break in the sales pitch, she left the conference never to return.

I am on vacation this week, so I will not see her at work until Monday. I will be surprised if she says anything because I don't think she recognized me. I will keep you posted.

Getting back to the conference, over half the attendees were graduates of the program and they were very friendly and outgoing. Some of them were acquaintances of Holly and came over to speak with her. Holly introduced me to each one of them and I joined the conversation if I had anything to add.

No one reacted to me in a negative way. They all were very willing to engage me in conversation.

One woman went out of her way to come over to say to me that she "loved my shoes."

Another woman came over during the break and told me that she knew me. I was sure I did not know her. She listed the possible venues she thought she knew me from, but I was not involved with any of them, so she concluded that I looked very much like another woman. Needless to say, that was very affirming.

At the beginning of the sales pitch, the speaker asked the graduates of the program to volunteer to tell why they invited their guest. Holly raised her hand each time, but she never got called upon. After listening to about 15 graduates tell us why they invited their guests, the speaker told the rest of the graduates to tell their guests one-on-one why they invited them.

Holly turned to me and warmed my heart when she told me why she invited me. She said I am one of her heroes not only because I go out en femme, but more broadly because I persist in expressing my truth in a world that provides very little affirmation for what is true for me.

I still feel a glow when I think about what she said. It made a wonderful evening so perfect!

her royal high-ness

Rania Al Abdullah, the Queen of Jordan, is 5'9" tall and joins our Famous Females of Height list.