passing

This morning, I read a message thread on a trans message board which touched upon the subject of passing. One writer opined that trans people put too much emphasis on passing... that passing is not important... that acceptance is more important than passing... yadda yadda yadda.

I'm sure you have heard these arguments before (and I know I touched upon them here in the past).

Note: I am now putting on devil's advocate hat.

I think that some trans people use the argument (that passing is not important) as a cop-out because for whatever reason, they do not pass.

In addition to being an excuse, it is also a put-down of trans people who do pass, i.e, yes, they pass, but what they are doing is not important, so they are just wasting their time.

I resent that!

I take a lot of pride in my presentation and I admit that it takes some time and effort to get the results I want, but I feel that it is worth it because:

* I pass some of the time, which is a wonderful affirmation of my hard work.

* When I don't pass, at least I don't look like a caricature of a woman. Rather, I look like I am trying my best to emulate a woman and I believe that fosters acceptance.

we're all intersex

On Salon today, Thomas Rogers interviews Gerald N. Callahan, the author of Between XX and XY about people born neither male nor female -- and why everyone's a little bit of both.

Read all about it here.

Tuesday, Tuesday

Tuesdays after long weekends aren't much better than Mondays after long weekends except that they are not Mondays.

* * *

You know how they say that styles repeat themselves. I've been dressing en femme long enough that I have seen that phenomena myself with clothing I have worn.

While perusing the Saks Fifth Avenue Web site, I noticed a Diana von Furstenberg dress for sale that is very similar to the dress I wore the first time I went out en femme that wasn't Halloween. That occasion was to attend my first support group meeting over 20 years ago. (see photo)

I loved that dress and now that it is back in style, I would like to wear it again. I just hope I did not discard it or give it away!

I will look for it tonight and if I find it, I will clean it and wear it next time out.

* * *

My blog readers submitted two additions to the Famous Females of Height list:

Shannon submitted 6' Candice Olson of HGTV's Divine Design.

Linda submitted 6'3" Arianne Cohen, author of The Tall Book: A Celebration of Life from on High.

Monday, Monday

Mondays after long weekends are hard.

* * *

Yvonne e-mailed me yesterday with another addition to my Famous Females of Height list: 5'9" actress Julianne Nicholson from the television series Law & Order Criminal Intent.

Meanwhile, I was surfing television channels and ran across a film starring Italian actress Claudia Cardinale (that is her photo on the right). She looked tall relative to the male actors in the scene I saw and I remember her as always being statuesque in all her films. I looked her up and she is 5'8" tall, so I added her to the list, too.

* * *

One thing led to another and I was on YouTube viewing videos of Woodstock performances that did not make it into the film. I was particularly interested in Creedence Clearwater Revival because Creedence was one of my favorite groups and I saw them perform at Woodstock. Since they were not in the film, I enjoyed viewing their Woodstock performances again a few weeks shy of 40 years later.

During my search of YouTube for Woodstock performances, I came across a video of Bert Sommer. I recall the name from way back when, but I was unfamiliar with Sommer's work had missed Sommer's performance at Woodstock, and I was not even sure if the name "Bert Sommer" was the name of a group or an individual, so I viewed the video to see what I missed.

Turns out Bert Sommer is an individual, but when I started watching Sommer's YouTube Woodstock video, I thought Sommer was a female. Sommer looked like a female and sounded like a female, but he was male (died in 1990), so I wondered if he was trans. I cannot find anything on the Internet indicating he was trans, so he probably was not.

I can't find a thing on the Internet indicating he was trans. I know that just because a male looks female and sounds female, he is not necessarily trans, but it did make me wonder.

* * *

I can't help it. Being trans something or other, I often wonder who else is trans.

Clean shaven, long haired males are always suspect. Actors who do a lot of drag are also suspect (John Ritter and Harvey Korman come to mind). Guys who are interested in other guys who are trans or do drag make me wonder, too.

And so it goes.

is it chilly out here or is it just me?

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Kate Silverton and her tall company

During the past week, I received the following additions to my Famous Females of Height list:

Lee e-mailed the following tall ladies of note:

5'8" actress Amanda Tapping, who starred in Stargate and Sanctuary

5'9" actress Claudia Christian, who starred in Babylon 5

5'9" actress Monet Mazur

5'9" actress Gates McFadden, who starred in Star Trek

5'9" actress Patricia Tallman, who starred in Babylon 5

Yvonne offered the following BBC newsreaders:

5'9" Fiona Bruce

5'10" Kate Silverton, whose photo appears on the right

Lauralee suggested 5'9" actress Kristin Dalton, who starred in Dead Zone and Surviving Gilligan's Island

Lynn Edwards offered 7'1" Sandy Allen

"new" female impersonator ephemera

I added this newly-acquired (via eBay) Finocchio's mailing souvenir (circa 1950) to my female impersonator ephemera collection. You can view it and the rest of my collection on my ephemera Web page.

FYI, Finocchio's was a popular nightclub in San Francisco featuring female impersonators during the second half of the last century.

As usual, click on the image to magnify it.

Dear Staci

Your beard cover and upper arms?

Dear Staci,

You do look stunning...I have 2 questions for you.

a) What do you use for beard cover?

b) How do you keep your upper arms looking so feminine?

MonicaM

---

Hi MonicaM,

Thank you for the kind words!

For beard cover, I use BC-2, an orange-colored product of The Research Council of Makeup Artists, Inc. (RCMA). I bought my tub of BC-2 from Alcone years ago and it will probably last me for another few years.

One of the few good things about getting old is that much of my beard has turned gray. Those parts don't require concealing, so these days I only have to use a little beard cover above my upper lip and on my chin where the beard is still dark.

For my upper arms, I remove hair and that is all I do. My arms are thin and not muscular, so maybe that is why they look so feminine.

Best Wishes,

Staci

---

Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is staci-staci at sbcglobal.net.

but not often enough

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Dear Staci

What's your secret?

Dear Staci,

Your photos don't do you justice! In person, your skin is glowing and so feminine. What's your secret? Do you use hormones?

Hugs,

An Inquiring Girl

---

Hi Inquiring Girl,

Thank you for the very kind words.

I never used hormones. I also never smoked, seldom imbibe alcohol, try to eat healthily, watch my weight, and walk daily for exercise.

I began using skin care products about five years ago after shunning them for most of my life because I thought they were a waste of time and money. I changed my mind after trying a sample eye cream that did wonders to the fine line situation around my eyes.

After my positive experience with the eye cream, I began using other skin care products and they made a big difference, too. In addition to improving and feminizing the look and condition of my skin, I also discovered that when I used makeup, it "liked" my new skin; as a result, it went on easier and lasted longer.

The following summarizes the products I currently use.

Cleansing - Olay Foaming Face Wash – I use it in the morning and in the evening.

Exfoliating - Avon Sweet Finish Sugar Scrub Exfoliant – I do not use an exfoliant daily. Typically, I use it once or twice a week or whenever my face feels like it needs a deep cleansing. Avon discontinued this product, but luckily I stocked up on this product during a sale.

Morning Regimen – After cleansing my skin, I apply three products in the following order:

1. Avon Ageless Results Renewing Eye Cream – I apply this to my eye problem areas, i.e., below and the outer corners of my eyes, but you can also use this cream above your eyes.

2. Cosmedicine MegaDose Skin Fortifying Serum – I apply this to my nose, cheeks, chin, and around my mouth. This is an expensive product, but the good news is that a little goes a long way; 1 ounce lasts me over three months.

3. Philosophy When Hope Is Not Enough Replenishing Cream – This is billed as a nighttime cream, but I use it as a daytime moisturizer. I apply it all over my face and neck.

Evening Regimen – I just cleanse my face and get a good night's sleep.

And that is all!

Best Wishes,

Staci

---

Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is staci-staci at sbcglobal.net.

and now a word from our sponsor... not

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Stonewall: getting it right

It pleases me when I read an article about the Stonewall riots that gets it right, i.e., that trans-people and drag queens were at the forefront of that skirmish.

Michael DeJong got it right in his piece that appeared on The Huffington Post yesterday. You can read it here.

random thoughts on a Monday morning

I read in this morning's paper that Gale Storm died. Ms. Storm was an actress in television situation comedies.

She was best known for playing the title character of the television series My Little Margie. I watched the show in rerun regularly as a kid and recall that the show was very funny and one of my favorites, but I cannot recall one trans moment in that series.

However, when I recall My Little Margie, I always also remember Our Miss Brooks, another situation comedy that I watched in rerun as a kid around the same time I was watching My Little Margie. Eve Arden played the title character, a high school English teacher, who had a love interest in the shy biology teacher, Mr. Boynton.

I don't recall much about the show except for one episode in which Miss Brooks was trying to convince Mr. Boynton to attend a costume party. Mr. Boynton complained that he did not have a costume, but Miss Brooks offered as solution: with the right foundation garments, he could dress as a woman.

I sat through the rest of that episode waiting for Mr. Boynton to appear en femme, but that never happened and that trans moment in Our Miss Brooks was limited to words. (I cannot recall any other trans moments in Our Miss Brooks.)

Speaking of dead celebrities, I am burnt out by all the coverage of Michael Jackson's death and refuse to watch anymore. As a result, I may have missed if anyone commented that Mr. Jackson may have had trans issues.

I recall reading years ago on more than one occasion that Mr. Jackson had all that facial plastic surgery because he wanted to look like Diana Ross. Does that make him trans? I dunno, but it sure raises the issue.

now Rusty begins to wonder about his sister

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up next

Two weeks ago, I was in the midst of my extended weekend in Manhattan. For over four days, I was en femme attending workshops, shopping, clubbing, dining, and sightseeing without a safety net. I was not attending any trans-event in NYC that affords some protection, illusory or otherwise; rather, I was completely out of the closet, just another out-of-towner visiting The City.

It was a big test for me: a test to find out if I could live as a "woman" in the real world. And I passed the test in more than one way.

I interacted with the civilian population without giving any consideration to my female appearance, i.e., I was not walking around Manhattan thinking that I was a guy dressed as a gal and how is the public going to react. I was completely confident in my skin and as a result, the civilians treated me as a real person, not as a sideshow freak.

I had no fear coming out to the other people attending my workshop. I might be able to fool some of the people some of the time, but attending the workshop, I would be interacting face-to-face with 20 or so people for hours on end over a four-days period and there was no way I could fool them in that scenario. So it made sense to come out and make everybody more comfortable about the unusual person in their midst. My honesty resulted in more respect from my peers and it made me feel more comfortable, too, because now I could be myself.

It also felt wonderful to "pass" as often as I did. The "ma'am" and "hon" and "dyke" comments sent my way attest to my ability to pass some of the time. And you know you're onto something when a squad car full on NYC police checks you out as you cross Sixth Avenue in Times Square wearing a dress and heels!

And so it went. But, what's next?

I don't think I can top my trip to Manhattan. I can probably equal it with extended stays en femme in other locations and I hope the opportunity arises to do so.

But back with my high heels on the ground in southwestern New England, what can I do?

Sadly, summer is settling in for the next eight weeks or so and that means heat and humidity and Staci does not perform well in heat and humidity. My wig and foundation garments causes me to perspire and my perspiration finds its way to my face where it eats away at my makeup and results in a mess that I prefer that the public not view. So, my outings en femme in summer are few and far between.

But summer means that the fall fashions will be appearing in the stores and I imagine I will do some shopping, probably en homme, for some new clothing that I can wear in September and beyond. And I think that is very apropos: new clothing for the new me that I discovered two weeks ago in New York City.

the day the music died... again

John Lennon, George Harrison, Carl Wilson, Roy Orbison, and Gene Pitney were music-makers whose deaths were very very sad for me and now Michael Jackson is gone, too.

It is hard to write about it, so I won't try especially since Bill Wyman wrote an excellent article on the matter in today's Salon. So, put some Jackson tunes on the Victrola and go read read it.

Farrah Fawcett

Farrah Fawcett died today.

As a femulator, I always have had an eye for attractive women and I remember spotting Ms. Fawcett in television commercials years before she achieved stardom in Charlie's Angels. She was such a standout that I could not help noticing her and I filed her image away in my mind as someone I might see in the future.

And see her, I did. I probably saw every episode of Charlie's Angels that she appeared in and I continued to watch the series even after her departure because I also had great appreciation for her co-star Jaclyn Smith.

Like many young males in that era, I watched Charlie's Angels to see the women who appeared on that show. The plot was secondary and usually disposable; the women were the main attraction. But unlike most of the male fans of that show, I watched Ms. Fawcett and Ms. Smith because I wanted to emulate them, not bed them.

Anyway, Ms. Fawcett's passing makes me feel sad; may she rest in peace.

a wife's cure

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New York City, June 15, 2009

understanding

Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach appeared on The Rachel Maddow Show last night and talked about the US military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

My wife was watching the show and stated something to the effect that it was not fair that gays were discriminated against by the military because they were born that way and cannot do anything about it just like you were born trans and cannot do anything to about it. She did add that she did not like it (my trans-ness), but she understands that I am not going to change.

My wife never wants to discuss my trans-ness and it made me happy to learn that she does understand my situation.