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Stonewall: getting it right

It pleases me when I read an article about the Stonewall riots that gets it right, i.e., that trans-people and drag queens were at the forefront of that skirmish.

Michael DeJong got it right in his piece that appeared on The Huffington Post yesterday. You can read it here.

random thoughts on a Monday morning

I read in this morning's paper that Gale Storm died. Ms. Storm was an actress in television situation comedies.

She was best known for playing the title character of the television series My Little Margie. I watched the show in rerun regularly as a kid and recall that the show was very funny and one of my favorites, but I cannot recall one trans moment in that series.

However, when I recall My Little Margie, I always also remember Our Miss Brooks, another situation comedy that I watched in rerun as a kid around the same time I was watching My Little Margie. Eve Arden played the title character, a high school English teacher, who had a love interest in the shy biology teacher, Mr. Boynton.

I don't recall much about the show except for one episode in which Miss Brooks was trying to convince Mr. Boynton to attend a costume party. Mr. Boynton complained that he did not have a costume, but Miss Brooks offered as solution: with the right foundation garments, he could dress as a woman.

I sat through the rest of that episode waiting for Mr. Boynton to appear en femme, but that never happened and that trans moment in Our Miss Brooks was limited to words. (I cannot recall any other trans moments in Our Miss Brooks.)

Speaking of dead celebrities, I am burnt out by all the coverage of Michael Jackson's death and refuse to watch anymore. As a result, I may have missed if anyone commented that Mr. Jackson may have had trans issues.

I recall reading years ago on more than one occasion that Mr. Jackson had all that facial plastic surgery because he wanted to look like Diana Ross. Does that make him trans? I dunno, but it sure raises the issue.

now Rusty begins to wonder about his sister

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up next

Two weeks ago, I was in the midst of my extended weekend in Manhattan. For over four days, I was en femme attending workshops, shopping, clubbing, dining, and sightseeing without a safety net. I was not attending any trans-event in NYC that affords some protection, illusory or otherwise; rather, I was completely out of the closet, just another out-of-towner visiting The City.

It was a big test for me: a test to find out if I could live as a "woman" in the real world. And I passed the test in more than one way.

I interacted with the civilian population without giving any consideration to my female appearance, i.e., I was not walking around Manhattan thinking that I was a guy dressed as a gal and how is the public going to react. I was completely confident in my skin and as a result, the civilians treated me as a real person, not as a sideshow freak.

I had no fear coming out to the other people attending my workshop. I might be able to fool some of the people some of the time, but attending the workshop, I would be interacting face-to-face with 20 or so people for hours on end over a four-days period and there was no way I could fool them in that scenario. So it made sense to come out and make everybody more comfortable about the unusual person in their midst. My honesty resulted in more respect from my peers and it made me feel more comfortable, too, because now I could be myself.

It also felt wonderful to "pass" as often as I did. The "ma'am" and "hon" and "dyke" comments sent my way attest to my ability to pass some of the time. And you know you're onto something when a squad car full on NYC police checks you out as you cross Sixth Avenue in Times Square wearing a dress and heels!

And so it went. But, what's next?

I don't think I can top my trip to Manhattan. I can probably equal it with extended stays en femme in other locations and I hope the opportunity arises to do so.

But back with my high heels on the ground in southwestern New England, what can I do?

Sadly, summer is settling in for the next eight weeks or so and that means heat and humidity and Staci does not perform well in heat and humidity. My wig and foundation garments causes me to perspire and my perspiration finds its way to my face where it eats away at my makeup and results in a mess that I prefer that the public not view. So, my outings en femme in summer are few and far between.

But summer means that the fall fashions will be appearing in the stores and I imagine I will do some shopping, probably en homme, for some new clothing that I can wear in September and beyond. And I think that is very apropos: new clothing for the new me that I discovered two weeks ago in New York City.

the day the music died... again

John Lennon, George Harrison, Carl Wilson, Roy Orbison, and Gene Pitney were music-makers whose deaths were very very sad for me and now Michael Jackson is gone, too.

It is hard to write about it, so I won't try especially since Bill Wyman wrote an excellent article on the matter in today's Salon. So, put some Jackson tunes on the Victrola and go read read it.

Farrah Fawcett

Farrah Fawcett died today.

As a femulator, I always have had an eye for attractive women and I remember spotting Ms. Fawcett in television commercials years before she achieved stardom in Charlie's Angels. She was such a standout that I could not help noticing her and I filed her image away in my mind as someone I might see in the future.

And see her, I did. I probably saw every episode of Charlie's Angels that she appeared in and I continued to watch the series even after her departure because I also had great appreciation for her co-star Jaclyn Smith.

Like many young males in that era, I watched Charlie's Angels to see the women who appeared on that show. The plot was secondary and usually disposable; the women were the main attraction. But unlike most of the male fans of that show, I watched Ms. Fawcett and Ms. Smith because I wanted to emulate them, not bed them.

Anyway, Ms. Fawcett's passing makes me feel sad; may she rest in peace.

a wife's cure

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New York City, June 15, 2009

understanding

Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach appeared on The Rachel Maddow Show last night and talked about the US military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

My wife was watching the show and stated something to the effect that it was not fair that gays were discriminated against by the military because they were born that way and cannot do anything about it just like you were born trans and cannot do anything to about it. She did add that she did not like it (my trans-ness), but she understands that I am not going to change.

My wife never wants to discuss my trans-ness and it made me happy to learn that she does understand my situation.

out sick

I have been ill since Friday with a very bad head cold. I think that it peaked yesterday and I should get better as the week progresses.

My output here the past few days has been less than usual due to my illness, however, that should also improve as the week progresses.

Suzie Plakson

Lauralee e-mailed me that actress, singer, artist, and writer Suzie Plakson is 6'1-1/2" tall. Our height arbitrator rounds that out to 6'2" and I added Ms. Plakson to the Famous Females of Height List.

femulate.org = www.femulate.org

The folks at Register.com fixed the problem with femulate.org and it now works the same as www.femulate.org, i.e., both URLs, with "www." or without, will get you here.

Rie Rasmussen

Rie Rasmussen is a Danish fashion model, actress, film director, writer, and photographer. She appeared in one of my favorite motion picture thrillers, Brian De Palma's Femme Fatale. She is also 5'10" tall and the newest addition to my Famous Females of Height List.

at the hair salon

I got a haircut on Friday. I usually get my hair cut at a local hair salon that I have been patronizing for over 12 years.

The owner of the salon has two school-aged sons. My sister, who also patronizes this salon, mentioned that one of the sons might be gay. His mother (the salon owner) is supportive, while the father, not so much.

Anyway, I walked in to the salon about 1 PM without an appointment. I was the only customer, so the owner took me immediately.

When I walked in, I noticed a pretty young girl playing in the waiting area. She was about 10-years-old and was wearing yellow cropped pants, a white flowery top, and her short bobbed hair had a pink swatch in it.

The receptionist asked the girl to go fetch her Mommy from the back of the store because she had a customer.

I did not know who the girl was going to fetch because there are at least three hairdressers working at that salon. When the owner came out from the back of the store to greet me, I realized that the young girl was her son!

I did not mention her son and neither did the owner, but it struck me that maybe her son is transgender and not gay.

I am not "out" at the salon, so I kept my opinions to myself, but maybe I will drop an anonymous note to the owner about my thoughts on the matter or maybe I will mind my own business.

cross-shopping

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transgender primer

"Transgender issues have been in the news with the recent announcement that Cher's daughter, Chaz Bono, is transitioning from female to male. This subject has been plagued by misunderstanding and fear of the unknown."

A Huffington Post article, "A Pro Bono Transgender Primer" by Dr. Jon LaPook attempts bring understanding to this unknown.

You can read it here.

By the way, that is 5'9" actress Kim Raver in the photo. She is the latest addition to our Famous Females of Height List.

femulate.org is not equal to www.femulate.org

For some reason, http://femulate.org is not the same as http://www.femulate.org. Entering the URL without "www." should get you here, but it does not.

I am trying to solve this technical difficulty, but have been unsuccessful so far. So don't use the shortcut until I sort this thing out.

additional famous females of height

Over the weekend, Huffington Post published "Famous Couples With Taller Women: Is Height Just A Number?" The piece had a series of photos showing famous couples in which the female of the couple is taller than the male.

Some of the females were 5'8" or higher and some of them were not on my Famous Females of Height List, so I corrected their omission and welcome the following tall women to the list:

Emmanuelle Seigner, an actress and former model, is 5'8"

Padma Lakshmi, a cookbook author, actress, and former model, is 5'9"

Sophie Dahl, a model and author, is 5'11"

Pia Glenn, an actress, is 6'

Penny Lancaster, a model, photographer, and wife of rocker Rod Stewart, is 6'2"

L'Wren Scott, a stylist, costume designer, and former model, is an amazing 6'4" (see photo)

womanhattan: the end

Monday was a half day en femme.

I attended the last day of the workshop en femme, then returned to my hotel to change into boy mode for my trip back home. As a result, I did not have much interaction with the public at large en femme.

***

I can look back and laugh at myself now, but you know what I worried about the whole time I was in Manhattan? I feared that while I was walking around town, someone would recognize me as a guy, grab my wig, and run off with it! (I brought an extra wig just in case.)

***

The photo shows me dining with Prometheus at the Rink Bar restaurant in the heart of Rockefeller Center.

***

In conclusion, I found myself.

Everything just fell into place.

* Getting cold feet about attending the workshop en femme

* Phoning the workshop to find out if they had any issues about my attendance en femme.

* Getting their green light of support to attend in whatever way I felt most comfortable.

* Finding a group of fellow attendees, who did not shun me, but respected me.

* The group's respect motivated me to be completely up front with them about my transness.

* My planned "show 'n' tell" became a natural conduit for coming out.

* The group's respect seemed to grow ten-fold after I came out.

* Coming out freed all my stress about the workshop; I really let myself go and apply myself fully in the workshop...

* Which permitted me to get a lot out of the workshop that I will apply in my career as a writer.

There was always the possibility that something could go wrong, but it did not. Maybe I was just lucky, maybe I was well-prepared, maybe some higher power was watching over me, I dunno.

But I do know that integrating all of me at the workshop permitted me to integrate myself outside the workshop, too. I was myself throughout the day rather than trying to impersonate someone else. And integrated as myself, I felt very confident about myself.

An example: one morning after I dressed en femme, I adjusted the thermostat in my hotel room and somehow managed to shutdown the system. Nothing I tried could bring the system back to life, so I called the front desk and they said they would send someone up. In the recent past, I would have panicked and changed into boy mode as quickly as possible. But, that morning, I stayed in girl mode. When the maintenance man showed up, I interacted with him without concern or nervousness and he reacted in a positive manner.

Another example: Flag down a cab wearing a dress and high heels and you usually get the first available cab. Now that's power and it just added to my confidence!

I am so happy that I did what I did. It changed me for the better by making myself whole and more confident, so confident that I no longer fear being outed, nor do I fear coming out to anyone.