womanhattan

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. – Audrey Hepburn*

Needless to say, most of my thoughts these days are on my upcoming trip to New York City.

If you are new to this blog, I'll fill you in: I will be in Manhattan over the weekend attending a four-day workshop related to my profession. I plan to arrive in The City on Thursday, check-in to my Midtown hotel, then dress en femme and remain en femme until I check-out on Monday.

It is not the first time that I have been en femme for an extended period of time. In the past, I have attended trans conventions, where I was en femme 24/7 for four or five days and last fall, I attended Fantasia Fair, where I was en femme for a week.

I enjoyed those experiences en femme, but in reality, trans conventions and Fantasia Fair are extensions of our closets, i.e., they are safe havens for transgenders.

Most of the action at trans conventions takes place in hotels where the staff is well aware of their guests' status. Since it is their job to take care of their guests, convention attendees feel very safe and comfortable at such events.

The situation is the same at Fantasia Fair only on a larger scale. Like the staff at the convention hotels, the whole of Provincetown, which hosts the Fair, takes care of its visitors, so fairgoers feel very safe and comfortable having the run of the town for a week in late October.

My trip to New York City is different. I will be en femme 24/7 without a safety net.

Besides attending the workshop, I plan to experience The City en femme. The workshop ends early each afternoon, so the rest of the day, I am free to visit museums, go shopping, see shows, go to the Top of the Rock, dine, dance, go to Mass at Saint Pat's, etc. and that's what I intend to do... all en femme or rather, as myself.

* Thank you, Holly, for the word "womanhattan," as well as for the Audrey Hepburn quotation, which helped take the edge off of the trepidation I am having about this upcoming adventure.

readdressing "passing"

Thursday's "passing" posting was written hastily and posted in error.

I typed my thoughts quickly and intended to save them for later editing, but when I intended to click on the "save now" button, I actually clicked on the "publish post" button and poof!... I published the posting on the blog.

I was very busy that day and let it go figuring it said what I wanted to say. But as time passed, the e-mails and comments I received indicated that I could have done a better job. So, this post is my attempt to do that, i.e., to clarify what I wrote in my previous post.

I usually check my ego at the Blogger door before I write a post, but if I do that now, what I am about to write will not make sense. So, I am not going to hold back in the following piece.

I am very good at what I do, i.e., I know how to emulate a woman.

Over the years, many genetic woman have complimented me on my taste in clothing, how well I put outfits together, do my makeup, my hair, my nails, etc. I am definitely not a guy in a dress, a man in a skirt, or a fellow in a frock. And despite my size, I often pass as an attractive statuesque woman. And I am very proud of that achievement.

From years of experience, I have learned that my natural speech and mannerisms are such that strangers sometimes take me for gay when I am in male mode. As a result, my natural speech and mannerisms suit me well when I am en femme.

By the way, I bought books and tapes to learn how to speak as a woman, followed the advice they offered, practiced, practiced, and practiced some more, and eventually achieved a feminine voice. But whenever I used that voice in public, I felt ridiculous. That voice was not the really me, so I abandoned the fake voice and returned to using my normal voice en femme.

When I wrote in Thursday's post that I was going to stop trying to pass, I did not mean that I was going to abandon anything I already do. I meant that I will continue to do what I do, i.e., femulate rather successfully, but that passing is something I would no longer worry about when I did femulate. As I wrote in my previous post, "If I pass and strangers think I am a woman, so be it. If I don't pass and strangers think I am a man dressed as a woman, that is OK, too; I won't deny it."

I also wrote, "I will stop pretending that I am a woman." That statement probably confused matters more than anything else I wrote in Thursday's post, so I will elaborate.

I will stop pretending that I am a woman because I don't have to pretend. I am a woman in many ways, probably in more ways than I know.

Unlike the classic transsexual model, I never felt I was a woman trapped in a man's body. I passed through the world in such a feminine manner that maybe the woman in me did not feel trapped. Instead, she was out there whether I was en homme or en femme.

And during those times when she was out there en femme, she blossomed and became whole. That explains why I so enjoy being en femme because then I am whole.

tall friend of a stone

Model, television hostess, and mother of a Mick Jagger son, Luciana Gimenez, is 5' 10" tall and becomes the latest addition to our Famous Females of Height list.

masculinity springing forward

As usual, click on the image if you want to see it bigger.

next stop, a wig salon

As usual, click on the image to make it look bigger.

passing

Years ago, I saw the logic of the concept that passing (as a female) was not important. However, passing was still important to me and whenever I went out en femme, the success of my outing depended upon how well I passed.

As I matured as a trans something or other, passing became less important; not passing when I was out en femme was no longer a deal breaker, however, it was still nicer to pass than not.

Now, I am seriously considering stop trying to pass. No, I am not going to burn my longline bra and I have no plans to stop dressing like a woman. I plan to continue to wear woman's clothing, makeup, hairstyles, etc. However, I will stop pretending that I am a woman.

If I pass and strangers think I am a woman, so be it. If I don't pass and strangers think I am a man dressed as a woman, that is OK, too; I won't deny it.

That would take a load off my mind and it is a concept that I may adopt real soon now.

death by girdle

As usual, click on the image to enlarge it.

www.femulate.org

This blog has a new domain: www.femulate.org

The old femulate.blogspot.com still works, too.

women wear what they want and so do I - part 2

Commenting on yesterday's post, women wear what they want and so do I, livinglovingmaid wrote, "Two more males who wear what they want--fashion designer Philippe Blond and Japanese makeup artist/singer/media star Ikko."

I looked these guys up on the Internet and all I have to say is, "Wow!"

Philippe appears in the photo above left and Ikko appears above right.

new highs

The spurt of additions to the Famous Females of Height list last week resulted in two e-mails recommending more additions to the list.

Chris suggested Slavica Ecclestone, a former Armani model and ex-wife of Formula One racing CEO Bernie Ecclestone. Slavica is 6' 2" tall (same as me).

While looking up Slavica on the Internet, I discovered that the Ecclestones' daughter, Petra Ecclestone, a fashion designer, is 5' 8" tall. (That's daughter and mother in the accompanying photo.)

Meanwhile, Paula suggested CNN anchor Kitty Pilgrim, who is 6' 0" tall.

These three tall women have been added to the Famous Females of Height list.

women wear what they want and so do I

I admire Grayson Perry and Eddie Izzard because they are males who wear female clothing and make no bones about it. They don't have secret identities that they hide behind when they crossdress like I do.

"Women wear what they want and so do I," says Izzard.

If I did not have a family to love and support, I believe I would be out there, too, dressing in women's clothing without a secret identity.

But today, I have too much to lose because there are no laws to protect me if I came out as a crossdresser. My employer could let me go for that reason and I would have no recourse.

Also, I love my family and I think that they might be embarrassed and upset if I came out, but I do not know that for sure. It is something I might explore with them if our legislators ever get around to affording some protection at the workplace.

Anyway, I just discovered another male who is out there wearing women's clothing without a secret identity: Andre J.

Not only do I admire Andre J. for what he is doing, but I admire him for how he is doing it, i.e., I like his style. I can definitely see me wearing some of the outfits he has worn, although without a beard.

shall we dance en femme?

This might be old news to you who watch reality TV, i.e., crossdressing contestants on the ABC series Shall We Dance?

I don't watch reality television, so I missed them, but discovered their videos on YouTube last night. I am mentioning them here in case anyone else missed them, too.

men have L'eggs, too!

As usual, click on the image to enlarge it.

what did I see last night?

(updated below)

I like The Office and love 30 Rock, but they are in rerun like everything else this time of year, so I did not pay a lot of attention to the television last night. Instead, I perused the newest addition (Volume 7) of the Complete Chester Gould's Dick Tracy series, which arrived at my home yesterday.

Almost every volume of the series contains a crossdressing bit and Volume 7 did not disappoint with a series of panels showing two hoods disguised in early 1940's drag. All the crossdressing in Dick Tracy makes me wonder: (1) is crossdressing a common disguise used by hoods or (2) did Chester Gould have a special interest in crossdressing?

Anyway, I was half-watching the television while The Office and 30 Rock were on and not watching much at all during commercials. But my T-Dar (trans-radar) is always on and it caused me to look up and catch half of a commercial.

The commercial showed a race car at a pit stop. The driver was a woman in race car drag. The pit crew were men wearing cropped tops, mini-skirts, and black high heel pumps. Their legs were shaved and their bodies looked hairless, too.

I think they were advertising a mobile phone, but I am not sure because I was so surprised with what I was seeing that I did not pay attention to what was being said.

Has anyone else seen this commercial? If so, please pass along the details that I missed.

UPDATE: Elaine identified the advertisement as a Boost Mobile commercial with Indy 500 driver Danica Patrick and I found the commercial online here.

a new pocketbook

I returned the jacquard zebra dress to Kohl's today. That gave me $40.80 in store credit plus I had two discount coupons totaling $15, so this girl had to shop albeit en homme.

I browsed the dresses, but there was nothing I really wanted. Then I looked at pocketbooks.

Just like a woman, I buy mass quantities of shoes and pocketbooks and I found one that I liked a lot: a Daisy Fuentes stitch hobo bag that had an art deco look to it.

It listed for $58, but was on sale for $34.80. With my $15 discount coupons, it cost only $20.99.

After paying for it, I was tempted to walk out of the store with it on my shoulder wearing it as a "manbag" to see what reaction I might get. But I decided against it because the store is close to my workplace and there is always the possibility that I might run into somebody I know.

Daisy Fuentes

Minutes after publishing my Bonnie Hunt post, I received a comment from Coleen saying that I looked terrific in my Daisy Fuentes dress.

Since I was in a Famous Females of Height frame of mind, I wondered about Daisy Fuentes' height. So, I Googled her height and she is 5' 9" tall, so I added her to my Famous Females of Height list.

Bonnie Hunt

I always liked the multi-talented Bonnie Hunt. In films or television, the attractive Chicago-native was always entertaining and often very funny.

My spouse is a big fan of Ms. Hunt's current talk show and minutes ago, we were trying to guess her age. To settle the discussion, I looked Ms. Hunt up on the Internet and turns out that she is 48, going on 49 in September. It also turns out that she is 5' 8" tall and deserving of a spot on my Famous Females of Height list.

Newcomers to this blog may wonder how my Famous Females of Height list relates to the topic of this blog, femulation. Here is a quick explanation:

The average female is not as tall as the average femulator. That height discrepancy might prevent some femulators from going out in public en femme because they feel that they are too tall to pass as a female.

The purpose of my Famous Females of Height list is to show that there really are tall genetic women out there, and therefore, height should not be a factor that prevents femulators from going out en femme.

boys' clothes

“That’s the way it is and you will just have to get used to it,” she explained.

“But, I prefer to wear girl’s clothes,” I insisted.

“I know, sweetheart, but now it’s against the law for boys to dress like girls.”

“But, I don’t know how to wear boy’s clothes,” I responded.

“Well, I’ll help you,” she said.

Most boys were already wearing boys’ clothes, but I was a stubborn little boy and would turn on the tears whenever she suggested I begin dressing like a boy. Until now, my tears had been successful, but they would not help me anymore because today the anti-female impersonation law went into effect, which ruled that boys had to dress like boys, not girls.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it,” she insisted.

Boys I knew who were already dressing like boys did get used to it after awhile, and many of them even liked it.

“Now, take off your clothes and I will help you get dressed,” she said.

“And that's an order,” she added.

I quickly removed all my clothes and put them in a pile in the middle of the bedroom.

Next, she handed me the first item of boy’s clothing to put on.

“Tell me if you need any help,” she proffered.

One-by-one, she handed me another item of boy’s clothing to put on and surprisingly, I needed very little help.

She insisted on showing me how to put on the pantyhose because, “You don’t want to run your very first pair.”

Other than that, I only asked for her assistance twice: to help me close the hooks on my bra and to button up the back of my dress.

too small on bottom: tight jeans, a health risk

Five-inch stilettos, too-heavy handbags, a wedding dress that seemingly weighed as much as a small child — Parmeeta Ghoman admits she’s no stranger to suffering for fashion. “I’m the kind of person who buys shoes two sizes too small just because they’re cute — and they’re on sale,” says Ghoman, who's 28 and lives outside of San Francisco.

But when she wore a pair of super-tight skinny jeans to dinner with friends in December, she noticed an odd tingly sensation running up and down her thighs. And when she got up to walk around, things got weirder. She felt like she was almost "floating," because she couldn't feel her legs. “It felt really strange — it felt like my leg had gone to sleep,” Ghoman says.

Ghoman’s skin-tight denim may have caused a temporary bout of a nerve condition called meralgia paresthetica, also known as “tingling thigh syndrome.” The condition can happen when constant pressure — in Ghoman's case, from the skin-tight denim — cuts off the lateral femoral cutaneous nerve, causing a numb, tingling or burning sensation along the thigh.

Read the rest of the story here.

too big on top / too small on top

I am too big on top or the dress I bought at Kohl's last week is too small on top. Either way, I will return the dress for a refund.

I loved the dress and I wanted to keep it. So, I tried it on with two different bras, as well as braless, but no matter what I tried, it was too tight in the bust area.

The dress does not come in a larger size and there is no way I can reduce my size enough for it to fit without removing a rib or two, so I will reluctantly return it to Kohl's this week.

Funny story: I went shopping at a different Kohl's store on Saturday and saw a rack full of that dress with the hangars marked with the dress sizes. I was overjoyed when I saw sizes larger than the size 16 I bought that did not fit, so I asked a Kohl's employee if the store would hold a dress for me while I returned home to get the dress I bought and bring it in for an exchange.

The helpful store employee asked me which dress I wanted them to hold, so I went to the rack and removed one marked "XL." The woman looked at the dress and asked quizzically, "Size 6?"

"Size 6, no it's an extra-large."

Then I realized the hangars had nothing to do with the actual dress size. Whoever racked the dresses did not pay any attention to discrepancies between the dress size and the size printed on the hangar. The largest size that dress came in was still the size 16 that did not fit.

Darn! For a minute there, I thought I had a solution to my tight fit!