I wish I was a girl

Last night, I watched My Name Is Earl on NBC. It was a rerun episode from 2008 titled "Joy in a Bubble."

I will not describe the plot because I was not paying much attention to the show. (I was reading with the television on in the background waiting for The Office and 30 Rock to come on.)

The show did get my attention when Earl's sons attended a young boy's birthday party. When it was time to blow out the candles on the birthday cake, the birthday boy wished aloud, "I wish I was a girl!"

It was the birthday boy's only appearance in the episode (he is not a continuing character in the series) and there was no trans theme in this episode. So, my guess it was a throwaway line intended to get a laugh from the audience, but I am sure it was not a joke to any trans-woman watching the show.

I don't believe I ever made a wish to be a girl when blowing out the candles of my birthday cake, but I do recall on more than one occasion going to bed and hoping I'd wake up female.

Illinois doesn't recognize off-shore SRS

According to Broadsheet, "For more than four decades, the state's [Illinois - ed.] Department of Vital Records allowed for sex changes on birth certificates, but five years ago a policy change limited recognition to sex reassignments performed by a surgeon licensed in the United States."

Read all about it here.

cross gender superheroes

Imagine if some of your favorite superheroes were women.

Gunaxin has collected the works of various artists, who depicted male superheroes in female form.

As a femulator and an old comic book fan, I found the images very interesting!

Sienna Miller's Head Photoshopped Onto Different Body

I didn't know that Sienna Miller is trans!

'Nuff said, but if you must, read all about it here.

got T-Dar?

Do you have T-Dar?

I do and if you are reading this blog, you probably have T-Dar, too.

T-Dar, short for trans-radar, is the ability to detect a trans-person when they are presenting in their non-birth gender. For example, you see a tall woman walking through the mall. Suddenly, your T-Dar kicks in and you begin looking for clues that the woman is actually a natal male presenting as a female.

No matter how good you think your T-Dar may be, you seldom have an opportunity to determine whether your T-Dar works correctly or not.

You can confront a suspected trans-person, but that can be disastrous, especially if you are wrong. Recently, I read about a trans-woman who encountered two tall women while shopping. Her T-Dar told her that the two women were trans and she confronted them by introducing herself as trans and saying something to the effect, "You're trans, too, aren't you?"

The two women reacted as if the trans-woman had just gotten off a spaceship from Uranus. They had no idea what she was talking about and when it became apparent to the trans-woman that she had erred, she wished that she was on Uranus.

And even if your T-Dar is correct confronting a suspected trans-person can be a sensitive matter.

Last time I attended First Event, I arrived at the hotel in boy mode and took the elevator to the floor where I could register for the event. The elevator stopped before reaching my destination and a trans-woman got on. I was 101% positive that she was trans and without thinking, I asked her if she was enjoying First Event.

She was taken aback by my query and seemed very uncomfortable. I immediately realized the error of my ways and explained to her that I was trans too, but having just arrived at the hotel, had not changed into girl mode yet. She seemed a little relieved, but I learned a lesson and would think twice before doing that again.

So it is probably best that using your T-Dar be a solitary thing. Keep your T-Dar findings to yourself unless, of course, you write a trans-blog, then you can publicize your T-Dar results. ("Yesterday, I saw a trans-woman in ladies' shoes at Macy's.")

I believe that most trans-people have T-Dar. It almost comes naturally because trans-people look for affirmation that there are other trans-people out there. What better way to affirm that then to actually see another trans-person in person? Seeking that affirmation, trans-people check out potential suspects wherever they go.

Even when my T-Dar determines that the six-foot woman walking through the mall is, in fact, a genetic female, it provides a different kind of affirmation. It affirms that there are genuine tall women out there and as a six-foot-plus trans-woman, it gives me encouragement to go out en femme and join the other tall women out there because I am not alone.

what it feels like for a girl

Driving home this evening, my iPod shuffled up Madonna's What It Feels Like For A Girl .

I have never heard some of the 8,700 songs stored on my iPod including this Madonna number, which I uploaded from my copy of Madonna's Greatest Hits Volume 2.

It was difficult to hear the first verse of the song because the loud instrumental accompanying Madonna drowned out her voice, but I thought I heard something trans-related. So, I restarted the song and listened more closely.

Here is the first verse:

Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl

The rest of the song goes on in a similar vein. Wow!

(This may be old news to those familiar with Madonna's work, but it was news to me.)

bras for every body

This ad came by way of an e-mail over the weekend.

I always have my trans-radar turned on and when I read the ad, I immediately thought, "Bras for every body? Do they mean men, women, boys, girls, males, females?"

I knew it didn't mean that, but it was a nice thought wishful thinking.

what's "feminine" anyway?

Whenever I recount my trans biography (like at outreach on Wednesday), I usually mention that as a youngster, I participated in sports (baseball and football) and played "boy games" (cowboys, war, spacemen, etc.). I felt that I was a typical boy and I enjoyed doing "boy things," unlike many trans sisters, who as children, hated "boy things" and preferred "girl things."

I also mention in my bio that despite my participation and enjoyment of those boy things, other boys called me names like "sissy," "fairy," "faggot," etc., which indicated to me that I was not necessarily all the boy I thought I was.

This was not just a case of bullies using random offensive names to raise my ire. Even some of my friends told me that I was not acting like a boy at a 100% level and that I should do something about it.

I wondered if there was something in my speech or mannerisms that caused their reaction? I was not intentionally speaking or acting in an affected manner. Rather, I was speaking and acting in my natural manner, which I did not feel was feminine.

The fact that even friends told me that something was amiss indicated that something really was amiss, but I was clueless. I had no idea what I had to do differently to be more boy-like. So, I continued acting the same way I always acted.

In high school, college, and law school, I occasionally ran into guys, who commented on my particular flavor of masculinity, but just I shrugged them off and kept on truckin'. By then, I was crossdressing in secret only coming out en femme for Halloween including an appearance in drag at a Halloween party in law school*.

I will never forget a friend of mine at that party telling me that he never realized how feminine my speaking and mannerisms were until he saw me in drag. He indicated that my female costume was a perfect fit for my normal speech and mannerisms.

After mentioning this at outreach on Wednesday, one of the students said that my mannerisms were feminine and that my friends and acquaintances had been in the ballpark in their estimation of me.

Yet, nothing has changed. I still do not affect a feminine persona. I still act naturally and no differently whether in boy mode or girl mode.

I admit that I do try to walk more like a woman when I am en femme and I occasionally talk more softly when I femulate, but most of what you get is the genuine me. And I am not changing a thing.

* By the way, I did graduate from law school, but never practiced in that field. (I hated that field.) Instead, I turned to my first love: writing and became a successful professional writer/author.

crossdressed in the past

Images of crossdressed couples in the early 20th Century

In this photo, two couples are double-dating in drag.


One thing leads to another and we find this crossdressed couple on their wedding day.


"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."

best outreach ever

Please Myself

Yesterday, I blogged about what I was going to wear last night in the frigid weather when I went out en femme to do outreach. I also blogged about what Erin wrote at A Dress A Day about Michelle O and dressing to please yourself.

Dressing yesterday, I tried on a four or five outfits while wearing my high boots and black pantyhose. I was not pleased with anything. So, I resigned myself to Plan A, i.e., "my black tunic sweater, leggings or tights, and booties."

I slipped on my tunic sweater while still wearing my high boots and black pantyhose and I was very pleased with the way I looked, so that is the outfit I wore forgoing the warmer leggings or tights (see the accompanying photo; click on it to get a better view).

I know the hemline was short, but I think I have the legs for it, and the tunic sweater is so warm and the boots so high that I figured I would not suffer too much.

Regarding my comfort, I was correct. Instead of the predicted 14°F, it was a "balmy" 27°F when I arrived at the university. I found a parking space less than 200 feet from the building where I was outreaching, so I did not have to walk far in the cold and it did not bother me at all.

I did receive one catty comment about the length of my skirt, but I just smiled at the commenter knowing that I was very pleased in the outfit I selected and I did not care about the opinion of the catty commenter. I dressed to please myself and not her.

My Best

Last night was my best outreach experience ever!

This Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University had ten students: nine females and one manle. My fellow outreachers were people I have outreached with in the past: a no-op male-to-female transsexual, her wife, and a post-op female-to-male transsexual.

We each spoke for about five minutes giving a brief biography of our trans lives. I presented my bio last. While the others gave theirs, I thought about what I would say.

I have presented my bio so many times in the past that I did not have much to think about, but I did make a few changes to my normal presentation. The big change as far as I was concerned was that I identified myself as a "trans-person" rather than a "plain vanilla crossdresser."

Anyway, I felt very good about myself last night. I felt good, I felt comfortable, and in my opinion, I looked good. Feeling that way, I gave the best bio I have ever given. I was very loose, not nervous at all, and my talk was smooth with a lot of expression and some humor. The students laughed at my humor and were all smiling by the time I ended.

Last night, mine was a little less boring and less clinical than the usual trans bio. When I was done, I felt even better about myself.

Next came the question and answer period.

Usually, we divide the class in half and half the class goes to another room with half the outreachers to conduct the Q&A. When half the class period is over, the outreachers switch rooms, so that the whole class has an opportunity to question all the outreachers.

Typically, I am teamed with one or more of the transsexual outreachers and the Q&A results in a few, some, or many questions that are transsexual-specific and have nothing to do with me. While the transsexual answer those questions, I sit politely, smile, and check out my manicure.

Last night was different. We divided the class into three groups and each of us did the Q&A solo. Actually, the female-to-male transsexual and I did Q&A solo, while the male-to-female transsexual and her wife did Q&A as a team.

I could not be happier with that arrangement!

In the past, I have encountered most of the questions (or variations thereof) the students asked last night. (See "my questions and answers.")

Each group wondered about my nails. ("If you only go out en femme once or twice a month, don't people notice your long French manicured nails when you are in male mode?") Pre-glued, stick-on nails was my answer.

Each group also wondered if I would live as a female full-time if I had the opportunity to do so. In the past, I would say, "definitely, yes," but lately, I have been reconsidering that answer. My answer was "maybe," but that there is something to be said about being out all day en femme, then being able to go home at the end of the day, remove all the trappings of femininity, and crash as a male. On the other hand, at Fantasia Fair, I crashed en femme at the end of each day and that was pretty good, too!

One group (all women) dwelled on subject of female fashion. They were impressed on how well I was put together, but one women commented that she never wears makeup and that she has only worn a dress once since her wedding. Another women said that she never wears dresses and does not own a pair of heels; one reason was because she found walking in heels very difficult. The thought crossed my mind that if these women represent the future of female fashion, I am going to lose interest in femulating!

I did mention my blog to the groups and how I try to post something everyday. One observant woman suggested that writing everyday about femulating provides an outlet for those times (which is most of the time) that I cannot femulate. She was so right.

I received some nice compliments last night, which just added to my enjoyment. One woman complimented my makeup, especially the was I did my eyes. Another woman said I had such beautiful feminine hands (more feminine than her own, she admitted). Still another woman complimented me on how well I walked in high heels. And finally one woman gushed that I looked absolutely fabulous and the other women in that group agreed!

I had a wonderful time last night and felt exhilarated at the end. "Good job," I though to myself.

please yourself

Erin at A Dress A Day wrote in her blog today about Michelle Obama's Inauguration Day outfits, "The thing is, you can't please everyone all of the time. You can't even please most of the people most of the time. Which is why, especially when it comes to clothes, you have to please yourself. You're the one wearing them; you're the one in the pictures; you're the only one whose happiness is even remotely under your own control: so do what feels right."

I agree and that is why I wear what I wear.

Of course, I do not have to worry about hoards of fashionistas critiquing everything I wear. However, over the years, a few people (including my trans sisters) have criticized my fashion choices. I just accepted their critiques with a thank-you and a smile and kept on wearing what I like.

what I am wearing to outreach tonight

I have no idea!

The weather forecast calls for a low temperature of 14°F tonight. So, instead of wearing something new and not necessarily warm, I think I will wear something old that I know is warm.

I will probably change my mind a few times (a femulator's prerogative) before I get dressed, but at this time I am thinking about my black tunic sweater, leggings or tights, and booties.

what I am wearing to the inaugural ball tonight

If I was attending one of the ten inaugural balls in Washington, D.C. tonight, I would wear something edgy, something out there, something that would be very inappropriate for my age. (That's just me; what can I say?)

So, here is what I would wear: a black sequin and leather cropped jacket and yellow silk chiffon dress from Kristian Aadnevik and yellow platform shoes from Gil Carvahlo.

(Wearing outfits like that and now you know why I don't get invited out much!)

good weather Wednesday

It looks like Wednesday will be cold, but without precipitation, so I will be going out en femme to do outreach for an evening human sexuality class at a local university.

This class will be a little different because it is a longer class (2 hours vs. 90 minutes) and it is supposed to be a smaller class (about 10 students vs. 30 to 40). So, either the class will run out of questions or their questions will be more in depth than the ones I get at the shorter time/larger size classes. I will let you know what happens.

what guy friends do

Last night, I watched Saturday Night Live hosted by the lovely Rosario Dawson.

One skit performed last night, titled "A Couple of Homies," depicted what a pair of guy friends do when they hang out together. They talked, looked at a magazine, then one (played by Andy Samberg) asks the other (played by Fred Armisen), "Hey, are you up for putting on yellow dresses, peeling bananas, and staring at each other."

Fred is up for it and that's what they do. You can see it for yourself here.

Later in the show, there was another parody of The View with Kenan Thompson again impersonating Whoopi Goldberg and Fred Armisen again impersonating Joy Behar.

crossdressed in the past

Milo was a German female impersonator (a professional femulator) depicted on this postcard postmarked in May 1919, almost 90 years ago.

T model steals the show in Fashion Rio

RIO DE JANEIRO (AP) — Rio closed its main fashion event of the year with less attention to the clothes than the model — a transgendered actress... Patricia Araujo (see photo)

Read the rest of the story here.

what happens when men use the women's restroom

your new crowning glory

In response to blonde, brunette, or redhead, Claire Toms of IPC Media in the UK e-mailed me that "Instyle.co.uk has launched an innovative hair tool, which allows users to interact in a creative way to test out new hairstyles. The new tool is really easy to use and has even been endorsed by Yvonne Keating! I thought you might be interested in having a look at this?"

I was interested and I spent some time yesterday trying out their Hollywood Virtual Hair Makeover.

For starters, you can use a model or your own image to makeover. I chose to use my own image, but I soon found out that my image was inadequate for the makeover.

Ideally, you should use an image with all the hair pulled back so that as much face as possible is visible. My image had a hairstyle with bangs, so when I tried out a hairstyle without bangs, my original bangs were also visible, thus, ruining the effect of the makeover.

A few minutes with Photoshop and I removed most of the hair in my image and started over again with more satisfactory results.

You can try out 80 hairstyles (modeled by a variety of celebrities) in 25 colors and you can add highlights and lowlights to each hairstyle. You can adjust the size and position of each hairstyle on your head and you can also flip a hairstyle. I was amazed how big a difference flipping a hairstyle makes.

When you are done, you can save five makeovers online, as well as e-mail them and print them. You can also add the InStyle magazine cover to the image and become a cover girl!

I have tried other online makeovers and InStyle's Hollywood Virtual Hair Makeover is one of the best, if not the best, because it was easy to use, had a good selection of options, and was very quick. So quick that it seemed as if I was using software installed on my computer rather than using an application over the Internet. I highly recommend it.

On a personal note, I tried a lot of hairstyles and none of the long ones looked good on me; shorter hairstyles looked better. Also, lighter colors looked better than darker colors.

The accompanying images are what I consider the best of my makeovers (click on an image to magnify it). I am in love with one of the looks and I see a new wig in my future.

a visit with Daphne and Josephine

Just before I went to bed last night, I decided to see what QVC was selling. (I never purchase a thing from QVC, but I like to see what they are showing and if something interests me, I will look for it somewhere else at a less expensive price.)

On my way to QVC, I passed TCM, which was showing Some Like It Hot. I have not seen this classic femulator film in many years, so I decided to watch it for a few minutes before turning in.

I came in just after the boys had decided to become girls and I watched it to the end of the scene in which Marilyn Monroe joins Jack Lemmon for some girl talk in his upper berth.

Basically, I watched the film to see how well Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis femulated. Here is my critique:

I loved their 1920's flapper era outfits.

I always thought that Jack Lemmon's wig was awful and I still think it was a poor choice.

In some scenes, the boys passed and in other scenes, they looked like guys in dresses.

Tony Curtis made a better-looking woman than Jack Lemmon, although with a better wig, Daphne might have given Josephine a run for her money.

I was very impressed with Tony Curtis' femme voice. It was right on the money. I wish I could speak en femme like he did in that film.

(End of my critique)

Amazingly, I do not have this film in my DVD collection and I must add it as soon as I can.

By the way, one of the better femulations I have ever seen on television was pulled off by Jack Lemmon's son, Chris. He was a regular on a late 1980's situation comedy called Open House, which chronicled the hilarity of a real estate office!

In one episode, Lemmon and the woman who played his wife on the show disguised themselves as showgirls to avoid someone somewhere about something. He looked fabulous in showgirl drag. In fact, he looked so hot that his wife got very excited about his appearance, started making out with him/her, and suggested that he dress as a woman more often!