Obama transition team is transgender-inclusive

From PageOneQ comes this story by Nick Cargo:

In what is being viewed as a strong signal to activists nationwide, the transition office of President-elect Barack Obama has issued a non-discrimination policy including sexual orientation and gender identity.

The Obama-Biden Transition Project does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, age, national origin, veteran status, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, or any other basis of discrimination prohibited by law," says the website of the Office of the President-elect, Change.gov.

While Executive Order 13087, signed by President Clinton in 1998 to amend President Nixon's Executive Order 11478, prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation in hiring for the federal civilian workforce, it does not mention gender identity. "The inclusion of gender identity is a bold departure from the past," said ACLU Senior Legislative Counsel Christopher E. Anders, "and it sends a clear message."

Read the rest of the story here.

Controversy at the Crossdressers' Support Group Meeting

November 20 is Transgender Day of Remembrance

The Transgender Day of Remembrance was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder on November 28th, 1998 kicked off the “Remembering Our Dead” web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Rita Hester’s murder — like most anti-transgender murder cases — has yet to be solved. — from the Transgender Day of Remembrance Web site

Visit the Web site to find a Transgender Day of Remembrance event near you.

coming to terms

Yesterday, I mentioned that I had to look up the meaning of the word "pintuck."

Although I am a fashionista, I admit that I do not knowing the meaning of every fashion term. Google usually comes to my rescue when I a fashion term stumps me, as it did yesterday when I looked up "pintuck."

Yesterday, Google's first choice was Kohls.com Glossary of Fabric & Fashion Terms, which is where I found the definition for "pintuck."

Kohl's glossary is comprehensive and I recommend it highly.

Friday fun en femme redux

I was frustrated finding images for my "Friday fun en femme" blog posting. Neither the JCPenney or Dress Barn Web sites had those items I bought online, so there were no images to grab for my posting.

I revisited the JCPenney Web site last night and I did find an image of the skirt I bought, but in a different color, and I found a dress that is very similar to the one I bought at Dress Barn.

The skirt is an east5th long bias-cut skirt, described as follows:

A flattering A-line style makes a very versatile asset.

* tailored with a wider waistband
* invisible side zipper
* length looks good with boots, too

east5th long skirt has a full polyester taffeta lining. Plaid is polyester/rayon; solids are polyester/rayon/spandex. Washable and imported.

The version pictured here is Black/Polar Bear Plaid. The one I bought is Red/Polar Bear Plaid and is much prettier than the black version.

The dress is a Sandra Darren, described as follows:

Sheer mesh and satin stripes update the little black dress into a stunning favorite.

* softly pintucked
* mesh is layered over a black slipdress
* ribbon belt
* tailored and relaxed fit

Pintuck dress is polyester. Hand wash, line dry. Imported.

By the way, I had to look up "pintuck" and here is a definition: a small, narrow fold of fabric stitched together to create the appearance of a line or stripe.

The big difference between the dress pictured here and the one I bought at Dress Barn is that the pintucks on my dress are gold and silver and give the dress a completely different and amazing look. (When I wear, I promise to post a photo here.)

hit me with your best browser

The popularity of this blog amazes me!

Throughout the summer and early fall, the blog averaged 641 hits per day. When I began writing about my Fantasia Fair experiences, the hit count jumped 65% averaging well over 1000 hits per day.

I expected that number would drop off after I stopped blogging about Fantasia Fair, but on the contrary, the number increased averaging 1127 hits per day! Last Wednesday was an all time high (so far) with an eye-popping 1780 hits.

In the past, the hit count always dropped off on weekends, but not any longer; the last two weekends averaged 1244 hits per day.

During that same time period, the number of repeat visitors has jumped by 50%.

Meanwhile, I discovered that words written here are showing up in other Web places. In the left sidebar, I quote fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg ("Feel like a woman. Wear a dress!"). Below her quote is my retort, "Feel like a woman. Wear a bra!" Those two quotations were recently repeated on the "I Love Fashion" section of the Experience Project Web site.

Also, my "Top 30 Things Every Crossdressing Man Needs In His Wardrobe To Emulate A Woman" has been picked up by other Web sites.

I guess I must be doing something right and I hope I continue to do so, but I do appreciate your input about what I write (and don't write).

Is there any subject I should write more about? Is there any subject I should avoid? Is there anything new you would like me to write about?

I'd love to hear from you!

it figures...

Friday fun en femme

(updated below)

I went out en femme yesterday.

It decided to go out at the last minute. My week long eye problem started clearing up midday on Thursday and was completely gone when I woke up yesterday, so I called work, told the boss I was taking a vacation day, then I dressed to go out. I wore my real estate agent drag ensemble (white top, black slacks, pink suit jacket, and black booties).

I was on the road at 9 AM and my first stop was Contessa Corset Shop in West Hartford. It was a "pig in a poke" selection.

Since Irene's closed in New Britain, I have been looking for another local trans-friendly store to buy foundation garments. A lot of the local girls recommended Princess Lingerie Shop in Waterbury, but I am leery about driving around my old hometown en femme where I still have a lot of friends, relatives, and acquaintances, who are familiar with my car and its Amateur Radio call sign license plates. So, I searched online for another local store and the closest one was Contessa Corset Shop.

I did not call ahead to make an appointment because my decision to go out was a last minute thing. I had no idea how I would be treated. Well, I have good news: I was treated like a lady by the saleswoman named Brenda. She helped me find what I needed, made suggestions on other options, and was genuinely happy to have me as a customer. By the way, her prices were reasonable and comparable to online prices.

As I was leaving, I asked if I could recommend her store to my trans-friends and she said she would be happy to have more customers like me.

Next stop was West Farms Mall in Farmington. First stop in the mall was Sephora. My powder foundation is almost gone and since its manufacturer is also gone, I wanted to find something comparable.

A saleswoman greeted me and helped me find a comparable powder foundation. As I was checking out, I asked the saleswoman how much they charged for makeovers. She replied that makeovers were "free," but that all the cosmeticians were in a training class. She suggested that I could come back later in the day or make an appointment for a makeover on another day.

My next goal was to find a long lightweight sweater coat like the one Patty lent me for my week at Fantasia Fair. I browsed through a few store looking for a similar coat without success.

While in JCPenney, I browsed their dress department and found three dresses and two skirts that I liked. I took them to the dressing room and tried them on. Everything fit fine, but I only liked the look of two dresses and the one skirt on me. I purchased the three items.

The skirt is a long bias-cut A-line from east5th in red/polar bear plaid. The hem is at my mid-calf and will look great with boots.

One dress is a cute black cap-sleeve babydoll from B. Smart decorated with black buttons accenting its scoop neckline and pockets. It is lightly pleated below the collar and its hem is above the knee. It will look great in black tights and my black patent high heel Mary Janes.

The other dress is very '60s retro from Worthington. It is a simple dark gray short-sleeve A-line with metallic silver threads in the fabric. The collar makes it so retro; a curved piece with a gray button on each end (see my drawing of the collar). The hem falls above my knees and will look good with off-black hose and a pair of dressy heels.

(Sorry, but there are no photos of the dresses on the JCPenney Web site, so you have to put up with my rough descriptions and drawings.)

JCPenney had a sale, so the three items cost $98 vs. their list price of $188, which was a nice savings (and my last of the day).

I decided to take my purchases to my car, then continue shopping. But by the time I walked to the other end of the mall where my car was parked, my feet needed a break. As I passed Sephora again, I noticed that they were not too busy, so I decided to cool my heels while getting a makeover.

A cosmetician sat me at a makeover kiosk right near the entrance of the store and began working her magic on my face. (Being so strategically located, I had an audience throughout the makeover.) The transformation was amazing. I was very impressed by a product she used that shrank and smoothed out the bags under my eyes, which subtracted years from my visage. I bought a lot of the products that she used, so much so that I qualified for some "free" gifts.

My "free" makeover was hardly free, but I was very happy with the results and received a few appreciative glances as I exited the mall and walked to my car. (I really regretted not bringing a camera yesterday.)

My week-long bout with the allergy was taking its toll; I was tired and ready to call it quits for the day, but I wanted to show off my makeover one more time. So I decided to visit Dress Barn across the street from the mall and size up what they had to offer in anticipation of our party there next month.

After my spending spree at Contessa, Sephora, and JCPenney, I had no intention of buying anything at Dress Barn; I just wanted to familiarize myself with their offerings, but as I walked into the store, a dress on display in the window caught my eye. An overcoat over the dress hid a lot of it, but it still looked very attractive.

I entered the store and lifted the overcoat to see the rest of the dress. It was gorgeous, but the display model was too small and I did not see the dress on a rack in the immediate vicinity. So, I proceeded to look through the store and saw a lot of nice things that I noted to check out more closely during our Dress Barn party next month.

During my tour of the store, I did find a rack with three copies of the dress I saw in the window display. The largest of the three was a size 16. I examined it and I concluded that it was too small in the shoulder and bust area. I sighed as I hung it back on the rack.

I continued touring the store and just as I was about to leave, I returned to "the dress" and decided to try it on. What did I have to lose?

It fit like the proverbial glove and I had to buy it even though it was not on sale. With only four in the store and only one in my size, how likely would there still be one available a month later? I did get a 10% discount by signing up for a Dress Barn credit card.

The dress is a Sandra Darren black sleeveless mesh dress. Over the mesh are silver and gold vertical stripes that look like ribbons covering the length of the dress. Underneath the mesh is a black full slip with spaghetti straps. A black ribbon belt cinches the waist. Its hem falls below my knees. And did I say, it fits like a glove?

It is so classy; a very nice cocktail or holiday party dress. I'll probably wear it with black hose and my faux suede high heel platform pumps.

With that purchase and my credit card going down in flames, I decided to call it a day en femme... another wonderful day en femme.

UPDATE: I found this photo of a vintage '60s dress that has a collar similar to the one on the dress I bought at JCPenney.

out today

I went out en femme today. I will have a full report real soon now.

my fashion sense

I have fashion sense.

I can put outfits together and accessorize them. I can also do my makeup and style my hair (wigs). I'm no expert, but I think that for a natural born guy, I do well doing those girly things.

I read and practice a lot to improve my girly skills, but I think there is more to it than that. I think that I took after my Mom.

Mom was a fashion plate. We were not rich by any means; we were lower middle class at best, but Mom always dressed very nicely wearing outfits she sewed herself.

Mom was also beautiful and did not have to wear a lot of makeup. Lipstick, powder, and rouge were the only ingredients in her makeup bag.

Overall, Mom's look was very classy.

I inherited my fashion sense from Mom. Over the years, I honed my girly skills, but to start, my basic girly skills came from Mom. When I was a little girly boy, I was fascinated watching her do her hair and makeup and sew pretty clothes to wear with beautiful hats and always, with high heels.

I am a high heel maven just like my Mom. In fact, a lot of girls my age have an affinity for high heels because our mothers came from a generation in which high heels were the standard footwear for going out. Similarly, girls my age favor dresses because that is what our mothers wore most of the time.

It is not only me; many of us get our fashion sense from our Moms. Luckily, my Mom had a great fashion sense and a little of that rubbed off on me.

Formal Portrait Via Photoshop

Denise e-mailed me some photos that she shot at Fantasia Fair. I liked one of the photos so much that I decided to convert it into a formal portrait.

Using Photoshop, I replaced the original background (a banquet hall) with a gold backdrop. I also deleted the name badge lanyard from around my neck and touched up my makeup.

I am very happy with the results.

Acceptance in Dreamland

Last night, I dreamed I was back in college during final exams, unprepared as usual in such dreams.

With only 15 minutes to go before my Psychology course final exam started, I was out on the campus scrambling between buildings trying to find an exam schedule because I forgot where my exam was taking place.

At one point, I dumped the contents of my white pocketbook on the ground and rifled through each of its pockets trying to find the schedule. I woke up from the dream shortly thereafter still looking for the schedule.

As I have written here before, I seldom remember my dreams, but those I do remember have a trans theme. The usual plot of those dreams is that I get dressed en femme and then run into a friend or relative, who accepts me in my feminine persona.

Last night's dream seems to be a step beyond that dream theme. Last night, I did not get dressed and I did not run into a friend or relative, who accepts me. Last night, I was already dressed and never noticed how I was dressed. Only when I searched my pocketbook was there any indication that I was dressed en femme. Getting dressed and being accepted was not an issue. Instead, I was already dressed en femme and acting as a woman might in that situation.

Maybe the dream is telling me that I have finally accepted my feminine persona and no longer need the affirmation of others.

Stay tuned.

Monday musings

(updated below)

I am fairly certain that my ills the past ten days are allergy-related.

I popped a Claritin-D 12-hour allergy pill last night and all my ills disappeared. Eleven hours later, my eyes are starting to water and my head is getting congested again. In an hour, I will pop another Claritin-D and I suspect I will feel great again.

***

I plan to go to Dress Barn today to arrange an in-store party for my support group.

***

My eyesight has deteriorated since my last visit to my optometrist over two years ago, so I plan to visit my optometrist today, which is conveniently located next door to Dress Barn, to see if they are on my new insurance plan, and, if so, schedule an appointment.

Last time, I picked out female frames that 99% of the public would never consider female. This time, I want to pick out something more feminine than my last pick.

***

My favorite source for warpaint, Marlene Klein Cosmetics, seems to be no more. The Web site has a lot of broken links, missing Web pages, missing images, and my e-mails have bounced back. If anyone knows anything about the current status of Marlene Klein Cosmetics, I would appreciate hearing from you.

***

UPDATE: This morning, I went to Dress Barn in boy mode to make arrangements for an in-store party for my support group. The store manager was enthusiastic and very accommodating. She said we can even have a fashion show during the party (an option I was unaware of).

The party would take place for two hours after the store closes, so we will have the run of the store. Everyone gets a 15% discount.

The store will provide refreshments and we can provide additional refreshments if we wish.

The store is a Dress Barn Woman store, so they do have larger sizes as well as Misses sizes.

I just have to confirm the date with my support group and then proceed with the party.

By the way, the store has some delicious clothing on display and I can't wait to return in girl mode to do some shopping.

Vote Sam Caliguri Out of Office

I am a liberal. At work, I am probably the most liberal person in the building. (I work in an engineering design and development shop and my fellow employees tend to be more conservative than I.)

I do not mix politics and work unless I am confronted by someone who is in my face with their political views. Most people know how I lean, so they don't confront me, but occasionally someone will.

Similarly, I do not mix politics and this blog unless it has a direct connection with trans issues. (The "Femulators for Obama" button down in the lower right frame is an exceptions, but it is just sitting there on display minding its own business. I have not been in your face blogging incessantly about Obama, McCain, Biden, and Palin.)

But I will get in your face about the candidacy of the State Senator running for re-election in my district, that is, the 16th senate district of Connecticut, which includes the towns of Southington, Wolcott, and parts of Cheshire and Waterbury.

In May 2007, the Connecticut state senate passed the gender anti-discrimination bill by a 30-4 margin (it died in the state house of representatives). My state senator voted against it. He also voted against the bill when it came up for a vote in his committee (the Education Committee) and I suspect that he will vote against the bill again if he has an opportunity to do so in the future.

For that reason, I urge you to vote against Sam Caliguri if you live in the 16th senate district of Connecticut.*

I also urge you to vote against the referendum calling for a state constitutional convention. Some of the groups in favor of that referendum are against GLBT and woman's rights and I assure you that they would do no good regarding trans issues.

* Senator Caliguri irks me for other reasons. He is one of those Republicans that hides the fact that he is a Republican. I have yet to find a mention of his party affiliation in any of his campaign literature. In fact, his campaign literature gives the false impression that he is an "independent," which he is not. Also, when I wrote to him to ask him to support the the gender anti-discrimination bill, it took him eight months to respond! I guess he was too busy being independent.

Halloween

Halloween is reputed to be the national holiday for crossdressers. And sometimes I do celebrate our holiday.

I was thinking about going to work today dressed as Sarah Palin, but I scratched that costume idea because I like to have a unique costume and the Alaskan Governor seems to be everyone's choice this year. So I thought about doing goth schoolgirl because I already have all the pieces for that costume (short black pleated miniskirt, ripped fishnets, high heel boots, etc.), but I lost my enthusiasm to get in costume because I have been feeling rundown all week from a cold or allergy attack that has been bothering me for about a week.

As it turned out, nobody showed up in costume at work today. I am torn; if I wore a costume, I would have been the only one to do so and would have felt a little out of place, however, I sure would have received a lot of attention (and I love attention).

I have dressed en femme for work in the past, but only when there was some kind of company-sponsored Halloween celebration. (You can read about one of those Halloween escapades here.) So far, I have not had the nerve to dress when there was no company-sponsored celebration. Maybe next year.

My support group had their Halloween party last Wednesday while I was attending Fantasia Fair, so I missed that opportunity.

So, looks like I won't be crossdressing for our big holiday this year. But I will leave you with a photo of my Halloween costume from 2004. It is my favorite costume, my best effort and I don't think I will ever be able to top it. But, wait until next year!

This Week: Change of Plans

Dunno if I caught a cold or am suffering from allergies, but I have felt poorly since Fantasia Fair Thursday. The lack of sleep during the Fair certainly played a part in it, but something else was going on and I had to take mass quantities of Vitamin C to try to keep things in check.

Vitamin C got me through the Fair, but when I returned home, I began feeling worse and started a regimen of allergy medicine to get me through it. Today, I still feel out of sorts and have a very low level of energy.

I do not feel up to visiting Dress Barn to set up a party for my support group, do not have much interest in dressing for Halloween, and the little woman convinced me not to do outreach tonight. So all my plans for this week have changed.

All things considered, I'd prefer to be in bed.

More Fantasia Fair Blogging

If you have not yet gotten your fill reading about Fantasia Fair, here are some postings from other blogs on the 2008 installment of the event:

* CDJanie's Blog has a collection of posts concerning Fantasia Fair. (Thank you Paula West for tipping me off about this one.)

* Diana’s Little Corner in the Nutmeg State: Off To Provincetown, MA On Cape Cod

* Morgans Journal: Craziness in my town #17

* Provincetown live .net: Provincetown Fantasia Fair 2008

* PTownMA: Personal Blog: Fantasia Fair and Round Up

Photo: Denise, Glenda, and myself taken at the Fantasia Fair Awards Banquet

This Week

Thursday evening, I am participating in a panel discussion on "LGBTQ communities" at St. Joseph College in West Hartford for an undergraduate course called "Cross-Cultural Psychology."

***

Friday is Halloween and I have no plans to dress in costume yet. There is nothing officially going on at work to celebrate the holiday, but I am keeping my ears open to find out if anyone is planning to wear a costume on Friday. If so, I may dress in costume, too. Then again, I may dress anyway even if no one else doing so.

***

Some time this week, I plan to visit the local Dress Barn to arrange a Very Indulgent Party for my support group. Here's the deal:

* Get up to ten friends (they'll do more, but ten keeps it fun for everybody) and book a party with Dress Barn by filling out their VIP form.

* I can book the party whenever I want, but they are willing to do it after hours if I want so we can have the entire store to ourselves.

* As the hostess, I get 25% off my entire purchase.

* My guests get 15% off.

* Staff will be there to help coordinate outfits.

* They provide refreshments.

Dress Barn has a reputation for being trans-friendly and they have hosted parties for trans girls before, so I expect they will go for it.

Fantasia Fair: Final Thoughts

Here is a shout-out to the new friends I made during Fantasia Fair:

* Andrea from Scandinavia
* Chantel from Los Angeles, CA
* Denise from Plymouth, MA
* Glenda from Cocoa Beach, FL
* Jan from Poughkeepsie, NY
* Joanne from Ontario, Canada
* Melissa from Hamden, CT

***

During my week en femme in Provincetown, I shopped, dined, and had many other encounters with civilians throughout Provincetown and never had a problem. Everyone I encountered was friendly and treated me like a lady with one exception. Twice, I bought items at Adams Pharmacy on Commercial Street.

First time, I found what I wanted to buy and stepped up behind a dude talking to the pharmacist who was standing at the cash register. The dude and pharmacist concluded their chat. I stepped up to the counter and the pharmacist turned his back on me and walked away instead of ringing up my purchase. I waited a minute or two for someone to ring me up. A middle-aged woman finally showed up to handle my purchase. She was very cold, avoided eye contact, and the only words out of her mouth was the amount of money I had to pay.

Second time, the same woman rang me up with the same level of frigidity.

In both cases, I was my charming self, but the only response I received was a blank cold stare. I would not say that Adam Pharmacy was transphobic, but they certainly were not transfriendly and being the only pharmacy in the center of town, I am sure they made a lot of money off the trans folks visiting town last week. Go figure!

***

I improved and streamlined my makeup skills during the week. Doing my makeup twice a day for a week, I found shortcuts to get the job done more quickly. ("Practice makes perfect.") By week's end, I probably shaved 15 to 20 minutes off my normal 1-hour makeup routine. I also was able to experiment with different looks and colors, which was a lot of fun!

***

I learned a lot about woman's footwear during my week en femme. Downtown Provincetwon uses cobblestones for many of its sidewalks and they are unforgiving when you wear high heels. I quickly learned which shoes to wear when I had a lot of walking to do, that is, my booties and my mid-heel pumps with the chunky heel. If I wanted to wear heels at an event, I carried them with me while walking in my comfortable shoes, then change to heels when I arrived at the event. Luckily, many events were in my hotel, so I did not have to carry heels around town that often.

***

I had a lot of fun mixing and matching separates (tops, jackets, skirts, pants) to create outfits during the week.

***

I reached a new level at Fantasia Fair. Femulating 24/7 for a solid week, you stop thinking about the fact you are femulating and begin living like a woman. All the techniques you use for femulation become second nature.; you no longer have to think about using those techniques because they are now natural. I believe that during Fantasia Fair, I came as close to being a natural woman as I can be and I hope that that second nature will stick with me forever.

***

Will I attend future Fantasia Fairs?

As my euphoria peaked at the end of the week, I told anyone who asked that I would be back next year and that I would begin saving money for the trip on Monday to make next year's trip possible.

After the banquet Saturday night, I began reconsidering my return next year or any year.

The civilians in Provincetown are aware that the circus is in town, which makes it impossible to pass. Every tall woman is a potential man, so the civilians check out every tall girl to see if that is the case. I never experienced anything untoward in Provincetown, but being a very tall girl, I soon became annoyed by the inspection that I (and all the other tall girls) had to undergo every time we walked outside.

If you are a closeted femulator and want to get out of the closet in a safe way, I highly recommend Fantasia Fair to you, but I don't need that. I could take the money I saved to bankroll a trip to Fantasia Fair and have a wonderful time shopping for a new wardrobe in the malls and outlet stores of Connecticut. Sure some people might gawk at me as I shopped, but most would not because (1) they would not be alerted beforehand that a crossdresser may be in their midst and (2) I often pass and do not attract attention to myself in a bad way, that is, in a way that gives away my birth gender.

I had a wonderful time at Fantasia Fair and I am sure I would have a good time if I attended again, but weighing the cost versus the potential of growing more as a woman, I think my money would be better invested elsewhere.

My friend Jamie hit the nail on the head. During one lunch, she distributed ballots to the Fantasia Fair attendees to vote for the Miss Cinderella Award. Another friend suggested that everyone vote for me, but Jamie remarked that the purpose of the award is to recognize the attendee who blossomed the most during the Fair and that Staci had blossomed before attending the Fair.

Nuf said!