Fantasia Fair: Day 3

(updated below)

It is very late and I am going to bed. But, I promise to fill you in on today's activities in the morning. Meanwhile, I leave you with two photos from today.

The photo on the left shows me ready to go out this morning. The photo on the far right is me attending the Fantasia Fair Pioneer Awards Banquet this evening.

UPDATE: Regarding the photo on the right, I just want to note that my dress was not that short. The hem fell just above the knee; it rode up a bit during that pose, but that's OK because it allows you to see my black fishnets over my black pantyhose.

Fantasia Fair: Day 2, Part 2

At 1:30, I attended the keynote address "Let's Talk about Trans Youth" by Robin McHaelen. Robin runs True Colors in Connecticut. (I have participated in the the annual True Colors Conference the past two years and again plan to have a workshop at the 2009 Conference.) Robin has also spoken at my support group's banquet, so I am familiar with her, but now I am even more familiar with her.

Sunday night, as I was roaming around Provincetown lost in the dark, I encountered a woman pulling her wheeled suitcase looking as lost as I was. I smiled at her and said I was lost and she said she was lost, too, and asked me the location of the town hall. I had no clue and wished her "good luck" and we parted ways. Two blocks later, I realized the woman was Robin, but when I turned around to look for her, she was gone.

I mentioned this to her at her presentation on Monday and we had a good laugh about it.

Her talk was excellent, informative and inspiring. There was a lot of interaction with the audience and near the end, she asked what we could do to make it easier in the world for the young and future trans generations.

I spoke up telling the group about how I do outreach at colleges and universities and that by doing so, I am educating the "civilians" that trans people are not the drag queens you see on Jerry Springer, but are real people just like they are. Educating the civilians in this way helps them to accept trans people more readily.

After the presentation, a couple from Pennsylvania stopped me and asked me a load of questions about doing outreach. I hope I was helpful.

The weather was brisk in the afternoon, but a big improvement over the morning, so I took a 20-minute walk to get a feel for the town. I got a few looks and gawks, but nothing untoward.

Next, I attended a short meeting to sign-up to model in the fashion show on Wednesday. This event is one of the highlights of the week and especially interested me because it is open to the public.

After the meeting, I returned to my room to freshen up and change for dinner. The photo above is how I turned out.

The weather has not been as pleasant as last week's forecast promised. It has been on the cool side and I am glad I brought my fake fur jacket. (I almost did not bring it because of the optimistic forecast.) So, I put on my fake fur jacket and walked a couple of blocks to the venue for the evening festivities.

Dinner was an excellent buffet and the entertainment was a murder mystery. I enjoyed the food, but did not pay much attention to the mystery. Instead, I spent the evening chatting with every new person I encountered and I had a great evening.

Speaking of chatting, I used my femme voice a lot yesterday, but many times, when I stopped thinking about it, I dropped back to my normal voice. But I have a lot more time to practice this week.

It is a new day and I must get ready for it. So, later alligators.

Fantasia Fair: Day 2

I slept about six hours last night and was tired when I got out of bed. Once I am up and it is daylight, I seldom can fall back to sleep, so I got an early start on the day.

My old makeup skills have come right back to me after a two-month hiatus and I was ready to go by 8 AM. That's me in the photo ready to go out the door in what I call "real estate agent drag."

The first event of the day was not scheduled to start until 9:30 AM, so I had some time to kill and I planned to do that by finding a place where I could get some coffee. I thought I saw a coffee dispenser in the lobby, so I checked there first and not only did they have coffee, but they offered juice and pastry.

I attended the orientation and brunch. The food was good and the orientation was ok. It basically repeated the orientation information that Fantasia Fair has online. But it was nice to put faces to the names of the various people whose names I was familiar with and I met some more new people at the brunch.

After the brunch, there was a short walking tour of Provincetown. My tour was shorter than most because I was so tired that I dropped out of the tour and returned to my hotel room to rest.

I am going to bed, but promise to continue the Day 2 story in the morning.

Fantasia Fair: Day 1, Part 3

It is actually 6:15 AM of Day 2 at Fantasia Fair, but I want to finish my Day 1 thoughts before starting Day 2.

I decided to wear my fake Kiss stick-on nails as long as I can. I have an ample supply, but why take them off if they are still sticking. I don't know if the glue will hold up during the shower I will take after writing this. The thing is that I am getting very used to doing everything with the nails on. Even intricate stuff that I used to think would be impossible to do with long nails... maybe not impossible, but I was always amazed at how women with long nails managed to do such things. Now, I know! And it is actually fun learning.

I was surprised at the welcoming reception how many young people were in attendance. Considering the cost of this event, I expected to see a room full of old white rich people. I did not see anyone of color, but there both young and old in attendance.

I was also surprised at how few use a femme voice. In fact, I cannot recall one femulator using a femme voice last night... including myself. But I am going to correct that today, at least on a personal level.

I met a lot of new people last night, as well as some old friends and acquaintances. A bunch of us broke off from the reception and went to a pizza restaurant. I was not very hungry and only had on slice.

The streets of Provincetown really do a job on your feet, so I plan to wear something more comfortable today.

I leave you with a photo of my collection of luggage that I brought to Provincetown. Now you know how much it takes to make Staci. (The fishing tackle box in the photo houses my makeup.)

Fantasia Fair: Day 1, Part 2

My trip to Provincetown took four hours and ten minutes.

I checked into my hotel and signed in at the Fantasia Fair registration desk.

At registration, I saw my friend Jamie, but she did not recognize me at first because she had never seen in me boy mode.

After registration, I returned to my hotel room to get en femme.

Hair removal was a lengthy process since I had not been out en femme in months. I used Veet for the first time and it worked as well as Nair, but I think I prefer Veet because it comes in a pump dispenser, which is neater to use than the Nair squeeze bottle.

After dealing with my body hair, I did my makeup and dressed, as you can see above right.

I planned to attend the Fantasia Fair welcoming reception, but got lost finding the place, so I walked back to my hotel and asked for directions. I tried again, but I still could not find the place.

I must have looked lost because another transwoman walking by asked me if I was looking for the welcoming reception. She knew where it was, so I followed her.

I asked her name and it turns out she is Tobi, one of the regulars from the My Husband Betty Message Boards. Just a day or two ago, we exchanged "I hope to see you at Fantasia Fair" messages on the board!

I will continue this tomorrow as it it is almost midnight and I am exhausted. Just want to add that everyone has been very friendly so far and I am having a great time. More tomorrow.

Fantasia Fair Diary: Day 1

Trans New England

8 AM EDST: In about an hour, I should be on the road crossing Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts on my way to Provincetown for Fantasia Fair. My next blog entry should be from P-Town.

Fantasia Fair Diary: Day 0

(updated below)

This is the first installment of my Fantasia Fair Diary.

Today, I will be busy packing and getting things done around the house in preparation for my departure Sunday morning. So I won't be doing much blogging today.

Fall is Here

The weather here turned very fall-like yesterday with the temperature getting down to 38 degrees overnight. I expect to see similar weather conditions this week in Provincetown, 150 miles to the east.

Provincetown Webcam

My friend Diana posted this item on The My Husband Betty Message Boards last night and I want to pass it along to you here:

"For those who want to watch the coming and goings in P'town during Fantasia Fair, here is the Webcam on the corner of Commercial Street and Lopes Square (the town pier)."

The Webcam is about two block from where I am staying, so if you are patient enough, you might see me live from Provincetown.

UPDATE: I finished packing at 12:30 PM and the car is loaded and ready to go. But, I have a stomach ache and feel anxious.

Hopefully, I will be able to relax the rest of the day.

9 pairs of shoes

I started packing for Fantasia Fair last night and discovered that shoes, especially high heels eat up a lot of space.

Do I really need nine pairs of shoes for seven days and nights en femme?

I don't think so.

Three or four pairs are staying home.

Thankfully, I won't have to pack rain gear because the weather forecast for Fantasia Fair still looks good with temps in the mid-to-high 50s during the day and mid-40s at night. The only precipitation in the forecast is for the second Sunday, which is the day I drive home, so it really the won't rain on my parade en femme. (Just in case, I always have an umbrella stowed in my car anyway.)

crossdress like a star for Halloween

Just two weeks to go until National Femulator's Day, also known as Halloween. If you have not decided how to femulate on the 31st of the month, InStyle.com presents some ideas in their "Dress Like a Star for Halloween" slideshow.

The slideshow offers 12 suggestions for impersonating a "star" on Halloween. One and one-half of the suggestions are for male stars, but the rest are for female stars, although, I have to admit that I have never heard of some of them.

Josou Paradise

I occasionally search YouTube for trans-related videos and in doing so, I found about a half dozen or so from a Japanese television show.

Each of these videos shows a group of people standing on stage in front of an alcove whose contents is hidden by a curtain. Soon the curtain rises to reveal a seated pretty young woman and the audience oohs and aahs her. According to the description that accompanies the videos, the young women are actually young men dressed en femme. The oohing and aahing is justified because they look great.

I always wondered about the premise of the show, but not enough to research the subject. Yesterday, while researching something else on the Internet, I happened upon some Web sites that revealed what was going on. There is not a lot of information to be had, but here is what I managed to dig up. (If anyone has anymore information about this show, please pass it along.)

The television show is called "Gakkou e Ikou! MAX" and the crossdressing occurs on a segment of the show called "Josou Paradise." During Josou Paradise, a young man ("school ages") appears en femme as described above.

The femulation is so good that some people in the audience cannot believe that the young woman is actually a young man. To prove it, the doubters are encouraged to feel the femulator's breasts to determine if they are real!

Males in the audience can kiss the femulator, but this is done by putting a sheet of glass between the two as they kiss.

Sometimes, the femulator goes out and interacts with the public. On one occasion, a group of femulators participated in a fashion show intended for young women.

This popular youth-oriented variety show went off the air in September after an 11-year run.

Can you imagine an American version of Josou Paradise appearing on television here? You can be sure that I would be a regular viewer.

dressing your age

Dressing your age is a topic that comes up often in the femulator community.

Critiques say that many femulators dress too young for their age. They claim that short skirts, high heels, long hair, etc., are attributes of women and femulators under the age of 40, not old broads like me. They advise that women and femulators over the age of 40 should dress more conservatively.

I disagree. I am 57 and I don't think I look my age, so why should I dress my age? Why can't I be chic and dress stylishly.

To prove my point, look at this slide show on the Atlanta Examiner Web site. It presents photos of female celebrities aged 40 to 68, who they consider the "sexiest older women." These women are not dressing their age because they don't look their age.

One of the "sexiest older women" is actress Jane Seymour and I consider her my bellwether because we are about the same age (she is three weeks older than me). She dresses to kill, so why shouldn't I?

If you got, flaunt it.

last minute shopping

(updated below)

I started packing for Fantasia Fair last night. Yes, I don't leave for Provincetown until Sunday, but I have so much stuff and so little time.

I still need a couple of items and I will take an early lunch to find them, specifically, a pair of flats and a long scarf to accessorize my evening gown.

By the way, the weather forecast (according to Accuweather) looks promising for the whole week at Fantasia Fair: no precipitation and daytime temps in the mid 50s. I can live with that considering some of the bad weather stories I have heard about at past Fairs.

UPDATE: I scored a nice pair of black flats ($13) at Payless and a scarf/wrap ($9.99) at Burlington Coat Factory. I also bought a new black pocketbook ($19.99) at Burlington. It has lots of zippers, compartments, and a long shoulder strap, which these days is becoming a rare commodity, yet is so important for tall girls like me.

crossdressed in the past

William S. Osborne en femme in Boston circa 1901. (Click on the image to enlarge it.)

forced "man" dressing

My personality tends to be more female than male without even trying!

During the first half of my life (so far), my peers perceived me as a "sissy." This is not just an assumption on my part; I was told to my face many times that I was a "sissy" or the equivalent.

I did not go out of my way to be a sissy, rather I was just acting naturally. My personality directed me to do things a certain way. The problem was that that way sometimes did not meet the expectations of how a "man" would do things.

When I realized that something was amiss, I began forcing myself to do things the way a "man" does things in order to be accepted as a "man" in society and not be shunned as being effeminate.

Often, I felt uncomfortable when I forced myself to be a "man." As time passed, I learned that being accepted in society as a "man" was not worth the effort. So as I grew older and wiser, I forced myself less often and let my personality act naturally more often.

I also began crossdressing more publicly at that time in my life* and my open crossdressing went hand-in-hand with my decision to stop forcing myself to act like a "man."

I enjoyed dressing as a woman and my normal personality did not conflict with the way I dressed, i.e., I was not a "man in a dress." Again, this is not an assumption on my part; I have been told more than once that when I crossdress, my personality is a natural fit for the way I am dressed.

I realized that the natural way for me was often the the feminine way, but so what? Why was I forcing myself to be something that I was not? So, I stopped acting like a "man" and instead, acted like "me."

So, why don't I drop the other shoe, i.e., why do I still force myself to appear as a man most days of the week? I stopped acting like a "man" long ago and have been acting like "me" ever since, so why don't I stop dressing like a "man" and begin dressing like "me"?

That is the question.

* FYI, I began crossdressing regularly in my early teens, but I had a keen interest in crossdressing much earlier and probably crossdressed for the first time when I was about 8 years old. I crossdressed in public (Halloween) for the first time in my late teens and I crossdressed in public (not Halloween) for the first time in my mid-30s.

prep work

In preparation for Fantasia Fair, I shaved my armpits yesterday.

Of all the body parts I depilitate, my armpits are the most sensitive and I must follow a routine a few days before I go out en femme in order to have armpits that are hairless and painless.

I apply Gold Bond powder first. Then, I use the sideburn trimmer of my electric razor to remove the long hair. Next, I apply powder again and use the rotary blades of my electric razor to remove the remaining hair. Then, I apply the powder again.

Next day and perhaps another day or two, I apply powder and eschew deodorant because the deodorant will burn like heck. After two or three days, I can use deodorant again.

Maybe there is a better way, but this way works for me.

borrowing

My best friend Patty offered to lend me some things for Fantasia Fair, so yesterday, I took a long lunch to visit her and see what she had to offer.

In addition to providing an excellent lunch (soup, salad, and freshly baked bread), she presented me with a half dozen outfits, coats, and jewelry that I could borrow. The outfits included beautiful formal and semi-formal dresses and a pants outfit. The coats came in an array of colors and styles.

I hauled my haul home and tried everything on today. Two of the dresses fit perfectly including my favorite of the bunch: a long beaded grayish-blue sleeveless crochet dress that I now plan to wear to one of the Fantasia Fair banquets. The other dress that fit was a long black velvet dress with see-through short sleeves and I plan to wear it out to dinner at Fantasia Fair. The other dresses and the pants outfit were lovely, too, but they were too tight in the chest, so I will not be packing them for the trip to Provincetown.

The coats all fit and I will be taking a selection of them to Fantasia Fair and the jewelry accessorizes the beaded dress, so that will be coming along for the ride, too.

Thank you so much for your generosity, Patty!

changes

If you have visited here before, you may have noticed that I made some changes to the layout of this blog.

The biggest change is adding the left sidebar. That new sidebar contains items related to this blog, while the right sidebar contains items external to this blog.

This is a work in progress and I will continue tweaking the format for a day or so.

plan B

"The gown" arrived yesterday. It is beautiful, but it is too small.

So with only a little over a week before I leave for Fantasia Fair, I am working on an alternate plan on what to wear to the Fantasia Fair banquets.

I may rerun something I wore in the past or I may buy something new if I can find something I like in a local store (no time left for mail or online ordering).

shopping for the Fair

(updated below)

I took an early lunch and went to the mall to shop for my week en femme at Fantasia Fair. I intended to shop for three things: silver shoes to go with my evening gown, false eyelashes, and a pair of pants.

For false eyelashes, I went to the M·A·C counter at Macy's. I told the saleswoman that I wanted false eyelashes that looked natural. She suggested two pairs and I picked one . I was surprised that the eyelashes did not include glue; it was a separate item that I had to purchase.

Speaking of separates... after considering what I wrote yesterday about mixing and matching separates to save space in my luggage, I decided I needed a nice pair of black pants. Since I have never bought woman's pants before (leggings yes, pants no), I decided to go to a store where I was likely to get assistance from a salesperson: Lane Bryant.

I knew what I wanted, but I was overwhelmed with the selection. After trying to look as lost as possible, a saleswoman asked me if I needed help. I told her I did drag and that I wanted a nice pair of black pants around size 16 Tall.

She was very helpful and found two pairs of black "Right Fit Lafayette pants," one pair in size 2 Tall and the other in size 1 Tall. She showed me to the dressing room and I tried on the size 2 Tall first. It fit fine. Then, I tried on the size 1 Tall and it fit more snugly than the 2 Tall. I was not wearing a girdle (or a mirdle), so I figured that the size 1 Tall would be a perfect fit when I wear them with my girdle.

The pants cost $49.50, but by opening a Lane Bryant credit card, I saved 15% and the total cost came to $35.76.

Online, Payless had a pair of shoes that I liked, so I visited the Payless store at the mall, but they did not have the shoe in my size. I looked at shoes in the other stores and only one pair (in Macy's) caught my eye, but the price tag ($99) scared me away.

I stopped at another Payless store near work, but they did not have the shoe in my size either, however, the saleswoman did a search and found a pair in another Payless store that I can stop by on my way home from work this afternoon. (Wish me luck.)

UPDATE: The third Payless store had the shoe in my size and with the referral from the other store, I received a $3 discount. I also bought the matching handbag, which was on sale for $11, but I only paid $5.50 because Payless is having a BOGO (Buy One, Get One half off) promotion.

if I became a man, would you pay me more?

Catherine Price writes in today's edition of broadsheet, "Researchers from the University of Chicago and New York University looked at the experiences of transgender people in the workforce -- that is, people who had either transitioned from male to female or female to male -- and analyzed how their gender switch affected their pay. The result, as Time puts it, 'suggests that raw discrimination still remains potent in U.S. companies.'"

Read all about it here.