how to talk to a transperson

Is it okay to call someone a transvestite? How do you determine a transgender person's preferred pronoun — he or she — without being offensive?

Read all about it here.

femulations by Jack Benny

I watched Jack Benny: Comedy in Bloom on PBS last night. It was a documentary about comedian Jack Benny's career.

I enjoyed Jack Benny's television show when I was a kid and I also enjoyed listening to recordings of his radio shows.

Benny had feminine mannerisms and some people claim that he was gay. I dunno about that (I have feminine mannerisms and I am not gay), but I do know that Benny crossdressed on occasion.

He crossdressed in the film Charley's Aunt, which is billed "He's funny enough in pants! In skirts he's terrific!"

I never saw Charley's Aunt and I don't believe it was mentioned in the documentary I watched last night. However, they did show a clip of Benny crossdressing on television, in which he played the Gracie Allen role with George Burns.

His femulation was perfect! Benny was dressed to pass and not for laughs, although he received laughs anyway. And I loved his retro-1950s outfit!

crossdressed in the past

Two Boston femulators circa 1900. (Click on an image to enlarge it.)

Dear Staci

Reversing Roles When En Femme?

Dear Staci,

I was curious if as Staci you tend toward assuming/fulfilling the traditional female role in your relationship with your partner? Does your partner then assume/tend toward the traditional male role?

I have been seeing a woman who likes me as Hanna, likes me dressed as Hanna, but is not so sure she likes me assuming the female role if it means she assumes the male role. I am probably stuck in the "one of us has to be the man and the other the woman" relationship model. I know from what you have said you have a very successful relationship and I am curious about what works for you and your partner.

Hugs,

Hanna

---

Dear Hanna,

The success of my relationship is that I have compartmentalized my boy life and my girl life. Therefore, I am the guy in my marriage and my wife is the gal. My wife tolerates my girl life, but does not want to be a participant and I am ok with that.

Best Wishes,

Staci

---

Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is staci-staci at sbcglobal.net.

Maggie Gyllenhaal V. Gwyneth Paltrow

A Jumpsuit Fashion Faceoff (POLL)

Just for fun, read all about it here.

(By the way, I voted for Maggie.)

the beauty prescription

Why others see you as 20 per cent more attractive than you think you are

Research shows that others see you as 20 per cent more attractive than you think you are. That's because, when you look in the mirror, you're simply judging yourself on looks. All you can see is your reflection - but none of the personality.

Read all about it here.

me

Christine Baranski

Christine Baranski was in the film Mama Mia, which I saw yesterday.

I have seen Ms. Baranski on television and in other films including the gender-bending The Birdcage and I usually enjoy her performances.

Only yesterday, did I notice that she is tall, but I was not sure how tall, so I looked her bio up on IMDB and discovered that she is tall indeed (5' 10").

In addition to being a tall woman, we have other things in common. We are approximately the same age (she is one year younger), we are both of Polish ancestry, we both live in Connecticut, and we are both drop-dead gorgeous... well, maybe me not so much on the last count .

chick flick

I am taking my wife to see Mama Mia this afternoon. We both enjoyed seeing the musical on Broadway and look forward to seeing the film.

Yes, it's a chick flick and a musical to boot, so I should go en femme, but I won't in deference to my wife.

By the way, I like most chick flicks and musicals, too. How femme is that?

Update

I just returned home after seeing the film. I laughed, I cried, and I sang along to the music. I thought the film was very good and worth the price of admission.

do I still look fat?

My diet has stalled. I have only lost four pounds in ten days.

On the eve of the diet, I caught some kind of stomach illness that is still with me today. I won't go into details ("too much information"), but I will say that I have been on a roller coaster ride with this bug and I think it has had a negative effect on my weight loss.

I feel better this morning and maybe this bug is about to depart. Then, maybe I will make some progress with my diet.

be size myself

My Newport-News order arrived yesterday.

The black patent Mary Janes were lovely and fit. The dresses did not and I returned them today for a refund.

I ordered both dresses in my size du jour (16) and nine out of ten times, 16 works, but this time, 16 was too small.

I did not bother exchanging them for a larger size because one dress was sold out in size 18 and the other was so small in size 16 that I was not sure that even a size 18 would fit.

I was very disappointed.

Sizing is always an issue when buying clothing online or via mail order. It is a crap shoot in which I can accept inconsistent sizing when you buy from different stores, but inconsistent sizing from the same store is inexcusable.

It is very frustrating and causes me to consider swearing off future online/mail order purchases.

crossdressed in the past

good call

After a busy weekend, I sat down in front of the television to vegetate for the hour before I usually go to bed.

One million channels and there was nothing much on for 60 minutes that piqued my interest, so I watched the Miss Universe pageant.

I tuned in late and missed the introduction of the 80 contestants, however, I tuned in just as they paired the 80 down to 20. The first of the 20 was Miss Venezuela Dayana Mendoza.

Without seeing another contestant, I thought that Miss Venezuela should win. The other 20 were knock-outs and Miss Colombia Taliana Vargas was my second choice, but Miss Venezuela was outstanding in my opinion. By the way, I will mention for readers of my previous blog posting that another of the 20, Miss Mexico Elisa Najera, is 6 feet tall.

By the way, whenever I watch a pageant, my picks usually lose, so I did not have much hope for Misses Venezuela and Colombia. When the judges paired the 20 down to 15, I figured my losing record was intact because after announcing 14 of the 15, Miss Venezuela was not among the 14 (although Miss Colombia was). I was very surprised when Miss Venezuela was the last of the 15 to be announced.

Then, I went to bed and just missed Miss USA's trip down the catwalk in her evening gown.

After I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was check the results of the pageant. I was shocked: Miss Venezuela won and Miss Colombia was 1st runner up!

Perfect!

being tall

I am over six feet tall, so when I femulate, I am a tall woman.

About the time I started femulating in my early teens, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, i.e., I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

In the past, tall women tried to blend in with their shorter sisters, so they dressed down (pun intended); instead of celebrating their height, they tried to hide it (to appear less intimidating to men).

Also, tall women did not have a lot to choose from clothes-wise. Few clothiers catered to tall women, so tall women had to make do with what was available, which typically did not celebrate tall women's height.

Today, tall women are out and proud and celebrate their height. They have more clothing to choose from now that more clothiers recognize their potential as customers. They no longer dress down to hide their height. They wear high heels and leg baring skirts and dresses. They don't care if they are intimidating. They've come a long way!

It is a great time to be a tall woman, or a tall femulator. If you are interested in the celebration of tall women, check out the www.tallwomen.org Web site.

dress code

a little online shopping

Yesterday, my daily e-mail from Newport-News informed me that they were having a dress sale and shipping was free if your order was at least $75. I could do that, so I rushed to their Web site and did some shopping.

Like Joe McCarthy, I was on the hunt for reds and found two that I liked, as well as a pair of red Mary Janes that were also on sale. After consulting with Patty, my fashion consultant, I got her thumbs up and went back online to order my choices, a scoopneck dress with fitted bodice and full, pleated skirt (a classic "Staci dress") and a "sophisticated" red floral-print shirtdress.

By the time I got back online to place my order, the scoopneck dress and shoes were no longer available in my size. Patty advised me to wait and they might return later in the day.

I started working on a Plan B for the red shoes and went to the Payless Web site to see what they had in red.

I hit pay dirt! They had an "online exclusive" on a pair of red platform pumps for $13.99. They also had the same shoe in black and white two tone for the same price. I ordered both.

Back to Newport-News and hour later and the dress was back in my size again, but the shoes were not. Since I had implemented Plan B for the red shoe, I was not concerned about that. But my order was still $21 short of free shipping, so I ordered the same shoes in black patent, which was still available in my size. Like Patty said, "The black patent are a staple and should be in everyone's closet." Soon, they will be in mine.

the pot calling the kettle black

In this story about a trans being booted off a Bi personal Web site for being trans, "Daryl Herrschaft, director of Human Rights Campaign’s (HRC) Workforce Equality Project, said that HRC works to educate gay-owned businesses about the transgender community, but he could not recall an instance of a gay-owned business being so blatant in discriminating against transgender people."

That is amusing since HRC is the group responsible for getting trans booted off the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA)! Maybe the gay-owned business is just following HRC's lead.

before Vicky's, there was Freddy's.

Circa 1975, I bought my first wig, bra, and waist cincher at Frederick's of Hollywood at the Eastfield Mall in Springfield, Massachusetts. Back then, Frederick's was as common a store at your local mall as Victoria's Secret is today.

Vicky has stores everywhere today, Freddy.. not so much (not even at teh Eastfield Mall). Too bad because Freddy's was practically a one-stop crossdresser's shop. You could buy wigs, shoes, dresses, hosiery, lingerie, and foundation garments, whereas Vicky's offers some, but not all of those femulation staples.

Michelia alerted me that Freddy's is having a big close-out sale and that there are coupons on Yahoo! that offer even greater savings.

Happy shopping!

building a platform that includes transgender Americans

Steve Ralls writes:
...
The Democratic National Committee and Senator Barack Obama have announced that the 2008 party platform will be put together through a more "open" process that includes numerous opportunities for the public to weigh in with their ideas on what the party should stand for. The party, and the candidate, will hold public forums in all 50 states and invite voters to meet with party officials, and policy advisers, in a national discussion about the vision of the Democratic party.
...
It is imperative that gay and transgender Americans, and our allies, participate in this new platform process, and encourage the party to assemble a vision that includes us all.

Among the priorities LGBT voters in both political parties should be focusing on are:
...
Including transgender Americans as equals in the American family . . . and in the eyes of the law. Transgender Americans have been at the forefront of the LGBT civil rights movement. In many ways, you could even say they invented it. From riots at Stonewall to rights in Sacramento (where a transgender attorney won the historic California marriage case), our transgender neighbors and friends have given us all too much to be left behind. Neither gender identity nor expression should be grounds for employment discrimination, dismissal from the armed forces or discrimination in housing or the like. The transgender community must be included in all of our efforts to secure full equality, because we are not fully equal until they are, too.
...
Read all about it here.

fall fever

It is very hot and humid in Southern New England today, a "beach day," but I am not a "beach girl" and I am looking forward to fall, which has become my favorite season.

Sans hurricanes, the weather is beautiful here in September. It is cool enough to femulate without worrying about wig, makeup, and/or foundation garment perspiration, yet it is warm enough to go out without a coat.

Also, the fall fashions are my favorites and I am anxiously waiting for all my favorite online boutiques to start showing their fall offerings. So far, Victoria's Secret is the only one showing their fall lineup, but as the month progresses, I expect that the others will, too.

And as the fall fashions begin appearing, that means clearance sales of the previous seasons' fashions, when I usually can find a bargain or two.

And more importantly, all the previously-mentioned features of fall mean that I will start going out en femme again after the summer hiatus.*

* If the opportunity arises and the weather is moderate, I will go out en femme in the summer, but those conditions seldom are in sync, so I don't count on dressing much during July and August.