advice

Occasionally, I receive e-mails asking for advice. Often, the writers of these e-mails indicate that they are hesitant about writing to me for advice because they don't want to bother me.

On the contrary, I love receiving e-mails asking for advice. My maternal side loves to help others if she can, so please feel free to ask. Maybe I can help you and maybe you will help me by expanding my knowledge of the transworld. And maybe our e-mail exchange will inspire me to write an interesting blog posting.

So, use the "send me e-mail" link on the right to write to me.

transgender rights, transgender perks

Kate Bornstein writes, "Hijras are people who belong to a socially and spiritually recognized third gender in India. They are also the most universally-despised citizens of that country. When you're a hijra, you can't get a job. If you've got the courage to risk getting beaten up, you can go begging, or you can do sex work. That's about it. But hijras have an universally known and respected advantage: they have the power to bless or to curse. For example, you can't have a wedding in India--or give birth to a boy child--without hijras being present to bless the occasion. You certainly don't want one of their curses. Nevertheless, you're not likely to go long in your life as a hijra without being raped or beaten-up. That's what happens to sex and gender outlaws in most countries."

Read the rest of the story here.

window shopping

stranger than fictionmania*

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I like that in a man

if the shoes fits, buy it

I went to Payless during lunch and the shoes I liked, did not fit, so I bought none.

Saturday shopping

Yesterday, my wife and I went shopping.

First stop was Fashion Bug, which was having a big sale. My wife was looking for a denim skirt and I was looking for a summer dress that I saw on the rack last time we were there. We both struck out.

Next stop was Payless, which was also having a big sale. In addition to their BOGO (buy one, get one half off) sale, the girls at Wednesday's support group meeting alerted me that Payless was also clearing out their inventory and selling shoes for $10 and less!

My wife found a pair of sandals for $18 and I found a pair of boy sneakers for $10. So, we combined our purchases and a la BOGO, I got the sneakers for $5.

I also found some beautiful girl shoes that I wanted to buy. I have no problem trying on girl shoes en homme, but I did not want to embarrass my wife, so I plan to return to Payless tomorrow and shop for girl shoes.

the goal is acceptance

last night out

I attended my support group's meeting last night. It was the last meeting before the group's two month summer hiatus and there were about 15 in attendance. I knew most, but there were a couple of new faces, too.

We had salad, pizza, dessert, and refreshments, then we elected the officers for the next 12 months. I was "elected" newsletter editor (I ran unopposed).

The rest of the meeting consisted of pleasant conversation. It was a nice evening out en femme.

Due to time constraints (I was running late), I did not go shopping before the meeting.

four dresses

Spiegel's online catalog has four dresses that I like. They are just my style and I think they would look good on me.
Currently, they cost $60, $100, $60, and $19, respectively.

I would buy the $19 dress in a New York minute, but it is a clearance item and is only available in size 4!

I will wait and perhaps someday soon the others will become clearance items in my size.

Transgender series served its purpose

We (the Nashua Telegraph) tried to humanize a population that has in many quarters been dehumanized. When people are dehumanized, they are more likely to be the targets of violence, even fatal violence. When they are dehumanized, they experience depression and suicide at a much greater rate.

A good community newspaper promotes understanding and compassion in the community it serves in the interest of all populations, no matter how small. Sometimes that means taking on a subject that is challenging to the newspaper and discomforting to many readers.

This was one of those times.

Read all about it here.

Equality, shmequality! Just become a man

Imagine you're a rural woman living in an impoverished and patriarchal country where your life is worth exactly 12 oxen. You're unable to carry a weapon, own property or move freely. What's a girl to do? Until recently, for some Albanian women the answer was: Become a man.

Read all about it here.

random thoughts on Tuesday

The top five phrases that cause search engines to send searchers to this blog are femulate, fictionmania, kate salehurst, katesalehurst, and dresses for men.

• femulate is self-explanatory


• fictionmania is a web site mentioned here a few times. It is an online repository for crossdressing fiction.


• kate salehurst, katesalehurst is a beautiful trans-woman, who I mentioned here once or twice


• dresses for men is intriguing. Is it an indication that non-trans-people are looking for dresses for men? Are non-trans-males adding dresses to their wardrobe? Are women searching for dresses for their men?

***

I am going out en femme Wednesday evening, primarily to attend my support group's final meeting before the group’s two-month summer hiatus. Before the meeting, I also plan to go shopping. There is a DSW Shoe Warehouse that I must check out and Dress Barn is across the street!

I’d walk a mile for a camisole

I plan to go out en femme Wednesday evening to attend my support group’s final meeting before the group’s two-month summer hiatus. I plan to wear a black dress that I’ve worn before and from past experience, I know that the loose V-neckline of that dress will reveal the top of my bra.

If I wear a black bra, then no problem; my bra will blend in with my dress. However, if I wear a white or beige bra, I will want to hide my bra, so I will wear a camisole over my bra/under my dress to camouflage my bra.

Camisole camouflage (or “cami camo”) addresses a variety of fashion issues. As I wrote in my top 30 things every crossdressing man needs in his wardrobe to emulate a woman, "buy one camisole or better, buy two: one in black and another in white. I own a half dozen because they can solve so many personal wardrobe dilemmas."

femulate, the word

There is a discussion on CrossDressers-Forum.com concerning the word “femulate.”

Some folks like the word, some folks don’t. Each to his/her own.

Also, some have no idea where the word came from, so I left the following message:

I started my blog, http://femulate.blogspot.com, in February 2007, and made up the word "Femulate" to name my blog.

At the top of my blog, I define femulate thusly: fem·u·late (fem´ya-lat´) v., To imitate, copy, or try to be like a female.

The words "femulator," "femulation," "femulating," etc. are derived from "femulate."

Have fun!

100,000 milestone

Wow!

The hit counter on this blog incremented past 100,000 a few hours ago.

February 12, 2007, the first week this blog was on the net, it averaged 29 hits per day. This past week, it averaged 640 hits per day.

I guess I am doing something right and I hope that my writing has helped you to accept and embrace your or someone else's gender diversity. Thank you for visiting and revisiting.

yet another ephemera update

I have yet another new addition to my ephemera collection: a postcard from The Beige Room in San Francisco.

Cyd Charisse's legs

Some readers may not know much about Cyd Charisse, who died Tuesday and who I wrote about here yesterday. So here is an article by Danny Miller that describes the wonderful lady.

Cyd Charisse died

Film actress-dancer Cyd Charisse died yesterday. (You can read all about here.)

I have a tenuous connection with Ms. Charisse: we share the same birthday (month and day of month, not year).

Did you ever look at those celebrity birthday lists to see who shares your birthday? The only celebrities I knew on the list for my birthday were Ms. Charisse and baseball star Jim Rice, so when I heard about Ms. Charisse's death on the news last night, the first thing I thought of was that we share birthdays.

In addition to sharing birthdays, some people would say that we share something else. Ms. Charisse had great legs and I am told that I have great legs, too.

Personally, I think that my legs are ok, but other people are convinced that they are more so. Mom often said I had beautiful legs (and that I "should have been a girl with legs like yours"). My wife and other genetic women have admitted that I have nicer legs then they do. Other trans-folk have complimented me on my legs, too. One of my friend's significant other even calls me "Leggy!"

the name game

Reading a magazine waiting at the doctor's office on Friday, I learned that Barack Obama's deceased mother's name was Stanley Anne Dunham.

"Stanley" is yet another male name that has been appropriated to name a female.

If other parents follow Obama's grandparent's lead and name their daughters Stanley, will Stanley enter that gray area of names that can be either male or female?

And if Stanley catches on as a female name, parents will stop naming newborn males Stanley and it will become a female-only name like the following former male names that are now considered female: Alexis, Ashley, Beverly, Brook, Carol, Courtney, Dana, Doris, Evelyn, Florence, Gail, Glenn, Heather, Hillary, Jocelyn, Kelly, Kelsey, Kim, Leslie, Lindsey, Lynn, Madison, Marion, Meredith, Paige, Robin, Shannon, Shelley, Shirley, Sydney, Taylor, Tracy, Vivian, Whitney.

If this trend continues, parents may eventually use up all of the male names to name females and may be stumped on what to name newborn males. Then will the other shoe fall, i.e., will parents start appropriating female names for their newborn sons and name their boys Sarah, Elizabeth, Mary, Susan, Diane, Katherine, etc?

I find the feminization of the name Stanley interesting from another viewpoint. My given male name is Stanley. Can I now safely go out en femme and use Stanley instead of Staci? Probably, yes.