if you can't stand the heat...

The weather forecast for Saturday in Northampton is "partly cloudy with a high near 95."

Yucky!

I never dress en femme in that kind of weather unless I will be spending most of my time inside an air-conditioned building, which will not be the case this Saturday at the Transpride March and Rally.

So, I must dress for the weather, which means I will go shopping real soon now to find something cool to wear.

Wish me luck!

are you from lady.sk?

For the past month, this blog has been getting lots (and I mean LOTS) of visitors coming from a Web site called lady.sk in the Slovak Republic. The Web site is written in Slovak, so I am having a difficult time trying to figure out why folks from lady.sk are coming here.

If you are a visitor from from lady.sk, I'd greatly appreciate it if you would tell me what on the lady.sk Web site got you here.

local color

A girl e-mailed me yesterday asking where to buy wigs and get makeovers at local establishments that are friendly to gender diverse customers.

Wigs

I buy most of my wigs at Tonkin's in the Eagle Plaza, 481 Wolcott St., Waterbury, CT 06705, phone 203-753-1355, e-mail tonkinswigs at aol dot com.

Kathy Tonkins, the owner, is the best. She has a great eye for what colors and styles are suitable for you and she has absolutely no problem dealing with trans customers. In fact, every year, she hosts a meeting of our support group in her store. Tell her "Staci" sent you.

Makeovers

The best makeover experience I had was at Sephora at the West Farms Mall, Farmington, CT 06032, phone 860-521-7669, http://www.sephora.com/.

I did not have a full makeover. The woman who dealt with me was more than willing to give me a makeover, but at the time, I only wanted some advice. In the process, she made a number of "adjustments" to my makeup that constituted half a makeover.

The woman treated me as a lady and never let on that she knew I was a male. When she began making adjustments, I did not want her to mess up my beard cover, so at that point, I told her I was a male en femme. She continued to treat me nicely and was very supportive of my gender diversity.

She said, "You only have one life to live, so live it as you please. If someone has a problem with you, it is their problem, not yours."

I will never forget those words and carry them with me to this day.

state recognizes trans as separate sex

According to Radio Austrailia, a state in south India has become the country's first to recognise transgender people as a separate sex.

Activists hope the move will boost the status of transgender communities, which trace their origins back to ancient Hindu scriptures.

Read all about it here.

hot time at Transpride

I am very psyched about attending Transpride on Saturday. I am going up to "Big T" with my friend Diana, who has an invite to a reception afterword where we will be rubbing elbows with the makers and shakers of the trans world (Diana is a local maker and shaker).

The weather forecast is "Mostly sunny, with a high near 94 84." If that forecast holds up I will be wearing hot pants and a bikini top... not.

Actually, I am undecided on what to wear. I have two outfits in mind, but I probably won't decide until Saturday morning. Regardless, I will be wearing comfortable shoes for sure, but they must be stylish comfortable shoes, afterall I have a reputation as a fashionista that I must maintain and I don't want to disappoint.

Update:

I just checked the forecast again and the predicted high temperature for Saturday in NoHo is 84, not 94. When I saw "94" this morning, I was surprised because yesterday, it was 84. I guess someone caught the error. Maybe that someone is a reader of this blog and my mention of 94 alerted them to the mistake!

Blogging for LGBT Families Day

Via my friend Diana's blog, I learned that today is Blogging for LGBT Families Day.

I wish all my family acknowledged and supported my transness.

My wife acknowledges it, tolerates it, but is not supportive. And she does not want to talk about it.

My daughter acknowledges it and is supportive. (Goddess, bless her.)

With the rest of my family: some know about it, some have no clue.

The ones that know have never acknowledged it to my face. It is the proverbial elephant in the room no one talks about. They talk about it behind my back, but they never saw me crossdressed, so they don't have to deal with it face-to-face.

Being a crossdresser, my transness is not out their 24/7; I do not crossdress full-time, so my family does not have to confront my transness, so they avoid it.

That is understandable. Most people don't want to confront something when they can avoid it, so they don't confront it unless they have no choice.

Maybe I should give them no choice. Maybe I will wear my most feminine outfit on Father's Day and visit all my relatives.

Transgender Issues on the Urban Communities

This promises to be very interesting and informative. Sadly, I have a schedule conflict and cannot attend, but I urge anyone in the Hartford area that can make it, to make it.

Harvey Korman

Harvey Korman died.

Harvey was one of those people that I always suspected was trans because he appeared en femme a lot. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but when someone appears en femme over and over again, I start to suspect something more than a coincidence.

Reminds me of a certain individual (Staci), who shall go nameless (Staci), who always dresses in a female costume for Halloween. That nameless individual (Staci) dressed en femme for Halloween so frequently that some friends and relatives suspect that something else is going on (and they are correct).

I may be completely wrong about the actor, who played Hedy Hedley Lamarr in Blazing Saddles, but I still have my suspicions.

Be that as it may, two of Harvey Korman's en femme appearances are stuck in my memory forever.

One occurred on The Carol Burnett Show, where Harvey was a regular. The guests included Betty Grable and Martha Raye, who were known for their shapely legs.

In one segment of that show, five sets of shapely crossed legs in sheer off-black hose and high heels appear from beyond a curtain and the viewers are supposed to guess which pair of legs belongs to which celebrity. When they raise the curtain to reveal the celebrities, two are male: Harvey Korman and Lyle Waggoner, who was another regular on the show.

The other memorable Harvey en femme appearance was in the film Americathon. In the film, Harvey plays a television actor named Monty Rushmore, who stars in a situation comedy called Both Mother and Father. In that television show within the film, Harvey as Monty must fulfill both the mother and father roles for his son in the absence of his wife (I can't remember if they are divorced or she is deceased).

Anyway, in the segment of the television show that appears in the film, Harvey and his son are getting ready to go out for the day. Harvey/Monty is getting dressed as a woman, while his son is in his bedroom getting dressed to go to school. While they are getting dressed, the boy complains that other boys are picking on him at school. Harvey/Monty tries to comfort his son, who soon exits his bedroom dressed as a little girl in a yellow dress and blonde wig. (A while ago, there was a clip of this scene on the Internet, probably on YouTube, but I can't find it now.)

Goodbye, Harvey Korman. Trans or not, I will miss you.

the results of fashionista on the hunt

Fashion Bug did not have the bag I wanted, but they had one I liked just as much (the black and white, not the brown). The store has a sale and I also had a 10% off coupon, so the $38 handbag cost me only $16.43.

I also perused all the racks looking for stretch jeans in my size. They had Capris in my size, but not regular length jeans, so all I bought was the handbag.

the feminization of men's fashions marches sashays on

One week ago, I had news about the "murse" (male purse). This week, I have news about the "mirdle" (man girdle).

What's next?

How about a "bro" (male bra) like the Manssiere Kramer tried to market on "The Doorman" episode of Seinfeld?

Maybe Brad Pitt will come out with a line of designer "mrocks" (male frocks) like the one he is wearing here. (By the way, Brad should be wearing a mirdle and an Manssiere to give his mrock a little shape.)

fashionista on the hunt

Fashion Bug sells this bag and I want it.

I plan to go to the local Bug store en homme this morning with a 10% off coupon that expires tomorrow to buy it. I hope they have one in stock.

Wish me luck.

more photos

I posted two additional photos on flickr from my May 4 photoshoot.

The one on the right is the more popular of the two. Actually, it is very popular. I think it is the high heels that are responsible.

shopping with vigor

Missy wrote, "Since you seem to me to be so very comfortable with who you are it would be great to read more about you. For instance, how do you maintain your confidence when you shop for clothes, shoes, ... I am always so intimidated I have ended up buying everything but pantyhose on-line and consequently not always getting what I want."

Shopping en femme is so much better than shopping online.

If an item doesn't fit, you put it back on the rack and try on another size. If an item doesn't look good on you, you put it back on the rack and try on something else. You don't have to deal with the time and expense that returning an online purchase entails.

Shopping en femme also is an affirmation of my feminine gender. Shopping among other women, I blend in and become another woman. Typically, the other women are concentrating on shopping and not on me. They may be aware of my physical presence, but will assume that I am just another girl hunting for a bargain.

While browsing through the racks, I always encounter other women doing the same. They may look up momentarily to see who the other bargain hunter is and when they don't recognize me, they return to the hunt. Sometimes they may offer a friendly smile or a pleasant "hello," too. Rarely am I the target of daggers aimed at a man in a dress.

My last shopping experience was typical. I spent about an hour in the Misses department of the local JCPenney's perusing the racks and going back and forth to the dressing room to try on my finds. During that hour, I encountered a lot of customers doing the same and I noticed none of the other bargain hunters paying any attention to me.

However, I did not go unnoticed. A few people who were not busy shopping noticed me. A woman, who had finished shopping and waiting to pay for her finds, checked me out while she was in line at the cashier. I also noticed two saleswomen checking me out.

Perhaps, they were just checking me out because they were impressed with the way I look. Or maybe they suspected I was en femme and were trying to confirm their suspicions.

But, who cares what they think? It is my life and I will live it the way I want to live it (as long as I do not harm anyone). I am presenting myself as a woman and I expect to be treated as a woman. If anyone has a problem with that, it is their problem, so let them deal with it, just don't thread on me.

And, by the way, although some salespeople noticed me, I have never had a salesperson give me a hard time. Their job is to make a sale, so if the customer looks like a duck, then treat the customer like a duck and everything will be ducky.

While on the subject of looking like a duck, while I am shopping en femme, I try to be as womanly as possible. I concentrate on carrying myself like a woman, speaking like a woman, acting like a woman. It is no time to fall back into my guy ways. And after making a concerted effort to pass, it begins to come naturally and I have to concentrate less and less on passing and just enjoy being a woman.

I approach each shopping expedition with all this in mind. And before every expedition, I worry. And I may sit in my car in the parking lot for a minute or two trying to build up my courage to go in the store. Once I gather up my courage, get out of the car, walk to the entrance of the store, hear the click of my heels on the pavement, and catch a glimpse of my feminine vision reflected in the store's window, my confidence builds and my worries go away.

making the body you have, look like the body you want

I get e-mails everyday from various clothiers informing me what they have on sale. Newport-News is a regular sender and today they are having a sale on their Shape fx Collection, which they bill as "designed to make the body you have, look like the body you want."

I have to agree. I have never been disappointed in anything I have bought from the Shape fx Collection. Whatever I purchased always makes me look slimmer and more shapely. I know it's just an illusion, but it works and that is all that counts.

So, if you are a size-challenged femulator like me, I highly recommend the Shape fx Collection especially when the Collection is on sale.

Fierce Man With Close Shave Wants No Labels

Philips got some props recently for its thoughtful ad for women's razors that starred a crossdressing dancer (man) named Karis. The spot was a break from the ad world's normal "Girlie men are funny ha ha" angle. Although you shouldn't expect to see any serious portrayals of transvestites in Budweiser Super Bowl ads any time soon. Boinkology went and interviewed Karis, and he wants the world to know that he doesn't put all these crazy labels on himself. His motivation? "Just being fierce."

Read all about it here.

gnome

Last night, I watched a memorable 15-minute film titled Gnome. It stars Lauren Graham (of Gilmore Girls fame) and three actors playing transwomen.

Lauren plays a New Jersey suburban housewife and receives an education in gender diversity by interacting with the three transwomen. It is a very good film. I think you will enjoy it.

It is available free from various Internet Web sites including YouTube.

Enjoy!

going home again

A hometown visit brings back the struggles of growing up black and transgender.

Read this excellent opinion piece by Dannielle King, which appeared in today's Washington Blade.

Namoli Brennet

I just added Namoli Brennet's home page to my Cultural Links list. I should have done this before, but I neglected to do so.

I ate lunch with Ms. Brennet at the True Colors Conference in March 2007. As I wrote here back then, Ms. Brennet performed at the conference and is "a Tucson-based trans/genderqueer songwriter, who has been touring the country since 2002 when she released her first CD, Boy in a Dress. It was the first time I ever rubbed elbows with a rock star."

I remember discussing that she was from Tucson and my tenuous connections with that city. Well, I just learned today from my friend Diana's blog that Ms. Brennet was born in Waterbury, CT, which is where I was born.

Small world!

Dress Up!

In this vintage advertisement, the George Frost Company recommends "Retain the spirit and enthusiasm of youth — quicken your interest in the affairs of everyday life — enjoy the rejuvenated interest of new things — DRESS UP!"

I couldn't agree more.

legs

Rachel wrote to me about legs.

Noting the recent appearance of actress Gwyneth Paltrow without hosiery, Rachel asked, "When is the naked leg look appropriate and which women thrive on this look?"

Gwyneth looks fabulous without hosiery. In my opinion, if someone has the legs for it, going without hosiery is a fashion option especially during warmer weather.

Most young women like Ms. Paltrow, have the legs for it, but older women, may not.

I think I have shapely legs, but I would never go out without hosiery because my bare legs are not a pretty sight. New varicose veins, scars from surgically removed old varicose veins, and skin discoloration ruin the appearance of my legs and some kind of cover-up is necessary. Other women my age may have similar problems.

Rachel also sent along a a fashion tip to make your legs look longer: wear clear shoes. And to give the leg a final definition, paint your toes.