a night among the girls

Wednesday, I went out en femme to do outreach, dine, and attend my support group's monthly Wednesday night meeting.

I wore a my new "heather charcoal" sweater-knit dress, gray tights, black 3½” high heel platform pumps, silver jewelry, and favorite wig. I thought I looked very nice (see my photo from yesterday's blog).

My first stop was St. Joseph College in West Hartford to do outreach for a Human Sexuality class with three transsexual women (Deja, Diana, and Gina). We each gave a short biography and then took questions from the class.

It was a large class, all female with approximately 10% asking questions. The question and answer session lasted 90 minutes. I don't recall any unique questions coming my way, but during the session, I discovered a new (to me) possible reason for my desire to crossdress: hormones.

The question that led to this had something to do with what changes the transsexuals experienced after taking hormones. One transwoman mentioned that before taking hormones, viewing a movie like Love Story had no effect, but after taking hormones, she cried like a baby viewing such a film. The other two transwomen agreed that they experienced the same change.

In response, I said that I never took hormones, but all my life, I cried viewing a movie like Love Story (but not Love Story itself, which I absolutely hate).

The professor suggested that perhaps I should be tested by an endocrinologist. I assume he was inferring that maybe I had an imbalance in hormones, i.e., too many female hormones and/or not enough male hormones. If that is true then it might explain other things… like my feminine breasts and my feminine traits.

Since puberty, my breasts have resembled a female's breasts rather than a male's and are able to fully fill an A cup bra and nearly fill a B cup.

And since forever, I have had feminine mannerisms. I never affected feminine mannerisms; they are natural to me, but they must be more feminine than masculine because in my youth, my mannerisms caused me to be called "fairy," "faggot," etc. And as an adult, people who know me en homme and en femme say that I am the same person with the same mannerisms in either mode. Go figure!

After the class, a group of students approached me and mentioned that they felt sorry for me because I am so sad! (I have heard this comment before during other outreaches.)

I did not think I was sad, but I guess my bio is kind of sad in that I admitted that I'd like to go out en femme more often, but I don't in deference to my wife.

On a happier note, one student commented that my outfit was "cute." That made my day until another student stopped by to say, "You are so pretty!" She was very pretty herself and I was stunned by her compliment.

After outreach, we four went to a nearby diner (Gold Roc) to dine. I have eaten there before and they have always treated me like a lady. Wednesday night was no exception.

Like most diners, they have a huge selection that is reasonably priced and hugely portioned. I ordered a three-egg omelet and finished only half of it. Wearing a corset limits my intake; I call it my "crossdressing diet."

During dinner, Gina asked me if I was done with my electrolysis. To her surprise, I told her I never had electrolysis. (I guess my close shave and beard cover was working real well on Wednesday!)

After dinner, we four moved on to the meeting of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS). There were about 15 in attendance to hear the owner of Glamour Boutique talk about his store and product line. It was not a formal presentation, but rather a very informal talk.

There were some new faces (to me) in attendance. Although, I did not know them, some knew me through my writings and COS newsletter editing.

By 9:30 PM, I was very tired, exited, and drove home to end my day en femme.

out en femme yesterday

This is how I looked before I went out en femme yesterday. Stay tuned for the rest of the story.

out en femme this afternoon and evening

I will be out en femme this afternoon and evening. My outing will include outreach at Saint Joseph College in West Hartford, followed by dinner, and my support group's monthly Wednesday meeting.

Tomorrow (or later), I will have a full report for you here maybe with a photo or two.

Free Chubby Style Book

When I was a youngster, I wore "husky" sizes in boy mode, but I preferred to wear "chubby" sizes in girl mode.

my ephemera update

I added a new postcard to My Ephemera Web page. An eBay acquisition, the postcard is from The Beige Room in San Francisco. It is not postmarked or dated, but it looks to be circa 1960.

Academy Awards fashion review

I watched about two-thirds of the Academy Awards telecast last night. I also watched about 90 minutes of the red carpet telecasts before the actual award show telecast.

I was not too impressed with the evening gowns worn by the stars. In my opinion, most of the gowns were just average, but there were a few stand-outs (Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Katherine Heigl) and one exceptional gown worn by Marion Cotillard. In addition to looking outstanding, she won the best actress award for her work in La Vie En Rose.

Unlike previous awards show, I saw no crossdressers last night, although Katherine Heigl's makeup looked like a novice crossdresser had applied it because she had on too much blush.

fashionista alert

The Academy Awards are tonight. The telecast begins at 8 PM EST, but there will also be telecasts of the stars arriving on the red carpet beforehand.

I watch the show to see the gals in evening gowns. Maybe this year, a trans-woman or two will show up in gowns, too!

drawing to crossdress

I drew a lot when I was a youngster, teenager, and college student. I think I used drawing as an outlet for my desire to crossdress because a lot of my drawings had crossdressing themes.

Drawing took a back seat in my life after I graduated from school and began pursuing a career.

I drew a few cartoons and pictures for my daughter when she was a youngster to entertain her, but it was nothing serious.

Last fall, my daughter encouraged me to take up drawing again and she dragged me to an art supply store where I bought some drawing supplies (pencils, pens, erasers, sketchpad, etc.). They sat on my desk unused until today.

Inspired by the artwork that J Morgetron sent me, I spent about an hour before dinner drawing the picture you see here. It is a self-portrait with a crossdressing theme.

It is not bad considering it is the first serious thing I have drawn in over 30 years. It even looks a little like me en femme!

prize arrives

A few weeks ago, I won a contest on J Morgetron's blog, Tres Bizarre.

The prize arrived today and I love it! J Morgetron did the artwork herself and it's theme is the reason I swear by my pot of orange beard cover.

J also sent along a story buk, Xingu by Edith Wharton, with a personalized inscription that I will cherish.

vintage crossdressing (circa 1903)

Arthur and Horace out en femme on the boardwalk, circa 1903.

fame and fortune... but not so much fortune

I received an e-mail from Diana yesterday informing me that this posting from my blog was reprinted in the newsletter of The Sunshine Club, a trans support group located in Hadley, Mass.

As occasional editor of my support group's newsletter, I have often reprinted postings from my blog, but this is the first time another support group has done so.

I don't mind; in fact, I am honored, but I just wish they had informed me that they were going to reprint it because I would have missed it if Diana had not alerted me!

My Favorite Mistake: Michael Musto On How Cross-Dressing Cost Him An Ad Campaign

"Women's clothes are always more fun than men's. And there was a picture in the article of me in this big hoop dress. But not looking female at all, I mean, I wasn't in drag, I was just standing there with my bicycle, in a hoop dress, looking kind of clownish."

Read it all here.

I need a thin red belt

Not exactly separated at birth, but certainly similar fashion sense, that's me on the left and Leighton Meester on the right. (Miss Meester is a TV star; I am just a TV.)

first transgender rally in Northampton, Mass.

NORTHAMPTON - Already the site of one of the region's oldest and biggest gay pride marches, Northampton is about to become home of the first transgender march in the eastern United States.

The New England Transgender March and Rally, which is scheduled for June 7, will feature speakers and entertainers from across the spectrum of the transgender community and is expected to draw participants from across the country.

Read the rest of the story here.

some people hate us (and that's why I do outreach)

Sara Whitman wrote this in her blog today:

"I have no words for how I feel today. Not only was a 15-year-old boy shot in the back of the head by someone who hated him because he was gay, because he was not masculine, because he wore jewelry and makeup, but also a 10-year-old boy hung himself in England.

"He wanted to be a girl. He wanted to wear his sister's clothes and makeup. His mother let him wear girl's underwear but told him he'd have to wait till he was older to wear makeup."

Read the rest of this sad commentary here.

India's cross-dressing Oprah

Rose (just Rose) is now India's first trans-gender talk-show host. Her show, "Ippadikku Rose" ("Yours, Rose") will be broadcast to up to 64 million people in the southern state of Tamil Nadu later this month. It is, according to the New York Times, "expected to cause a sensation."

Read the rest of the amazing story here

And read more here.

playing with dolls

I don't recall playing with dolls much when I was a youngster.

The baby dolls that girls played with back then did not interest me. I was interested in more creative playthings like drawing, cutting, and gluing, so I occasionally cut out paper dolls and created original outfits for the dolls to wear.

Barbie and the other fashion dolls showed up at the tail-end of my time as a youngster, i.e, about the time I stopped dressing paper dolls and started dressing myself in my mother's and sister's apparel.

Anyway, surfing the Internet, I discovered a Web site of online virtual paper dolls. Scissors are not required. Instead, you dress the doll of your choice by clicking on then and dragging items of apparel over the doll.

There is a huge collection of dolls to dress, but the one that caught my eye was the "boys dressing like girls" paper doll. I tried it and enjoyed mixing and matching apparel to put together some cool outfits for the boy to wear.

The boy doll is rather pretty for a male, so when you add a wig, girl apparel, and jewelry, he passes very well!

Enjoy!

plans en femme

I am looking forward to a late afternoon and evening en femme one week from today.

First stop is Saint Joseph College in West Hartford, CT. I will be doing outreach at a human sexuality class with three other transwomen. The other three identify as transsexual (one post-op, two-pre-op); I am the token crossdresser.

Second stop will be dinner at a yet-to-be-determined restaurant in the Hartford area. The restaurant is yet-to-be-determined because it depends on who shows up for outreach and who wants to go where to eat after outreach. (I'm easy. I like all kinds of cuisine, so I will go anywhere.)

Third stop will be a visit to my support group's monthly Wednesday meeting. The meeting agenda will feature a representative from Glamour Boutique, who will talk about their store and product line.

Whenever I attend my support group's meetings, I feel like one of those people who goes to church once a year (usually on Palm Sunday to get free palms)! My last support group visit was Halloween 2006.

What would Staci do?

A few days ago, Meg sent the following e-mail:

"I'm going to go out (alone) for the second time tomorrow. I'm not sure I handle interactions with other people well. I assume they know that I'm just a 'Girl For A Day' and I say something to make sure that they know that I know that they know.

"But should I just assume that I pass perfectly and they don't notice that the voice doesn't match the outfit very well? I'm afraid that might make them uncomfortable about what to say (just in case I'm really a girl with a guy's voice, not a guy with a girl's wardrobe).

"What would Staci do?"

In the past when I went out, I waited for the people I interacted with to give me a clue that they knew I was a guy (because I wanted to know if I was passing successfully as a woman). If I did not get a clue, I often tried to give them a clue and sometimes I would just flat out say I was a guy.

Half the time, they were clueless and were surprised that I was a guy and not a gal.

The other half of the time, I was clueless and after I clued them in, I discovered that they already knew, but were accommodating me for one reason or another. Maybe they were being nice and respected my desire to be treated as a woman. If they were a salesperson, maybe they were patronizing me, i.e., they were trying to make a sale and did not want to lose the sale by acknowledging that they knew I was a guy.

After I realized this, I decided to go along with the flow and accept (and enjoy) the fact that I was being treated as a woman, for whatever reason. Hopefully, I passed, but if I did or did not pass, I sure did not want to out myself by intentionally giving them clues.

I admit that I am still curious and look for clues, but as they say, "Curiosity killed the cat," so I bite my tongue and try not to give myself away.

president's day

Our nation has had 43 presidents. If the estimates are correct that 5%* of the population crossdresses, then 2.15 of our presidents have crossdressed. So I wonder which of our presidents have also been first ladies?

*I think that 5% estimate is low, but that is a discussion for another day.