just don't call me late for a shoe sale

There was a discussion on a message board about what people preferred to be called: crossdresser, transvestite, transgendered, etc.

Back in the early 1960s, when I realized that I was not your typical all-American boy, there was very little information available to the average Joe or Jo-Ann about my version of human being. I found dribs and drabs in various encyclopedia and they only referred to "transvestites" and "transsexuals," nothing else. I did not believe I was transsexual and the very idea of being surgically modified scared the bejeebers out of me, so I identified as a transvestite.

That was my story and I stuck with it for a long time.

As information became more accessible (via the Internet, magazines, support groups, etc.) I became familiar with other terms of endearment used to describe my people. I still knew that I was not a transsexual and I was confused about the definition of "transgendered," so my choices boiled down to "transvestite" and "crossdresser."

From time-to-time, I shifted between identifying as a transvestite and identifying as a crossdresser. My shifts were related to what I had most recently read or what I had most recently heard, i.e., reading or hearing somebody's theory on why you should identify as one and not as the other.

After all these years, I believe that there is no significant difference between a transvestite or a crossdresser. I will answer to either name.

I will also answer to transgendered, which I believe applies to transvestites/crossdressers and transsexuals alike.

A dear friend of mine who is studying the transgendered on a graduate level calls me a "late-life transsexual." I think that means that I am a transsexual, but that I did not recognize that fact until later in life. Maybe.

I will admit that if I had to do it over again, I might live full-time or near full-time as a woman, but the only body modification I would undergo is epilation of my face and body. No surgery for me!

Does that make me a transsexual? Perhaps, but since I am not sure, I won't apply that term to me.

Instead, I prefer the term "transwoman." It has a nice ring to it and applies to transvestites/crossdressers and transsexuals alike. I think it fits me nicely.

"The Male Ego" episode of The People's Choice

The People's Choice was an NBC television situation comedy starring Jackie Cooper and a basset hound named Cleo. The show ran from 1955 through 1958.

I saw many episodes in rerun shown during the daytime hours in the late 1950s and early 1960s. One episode, "The Male Ego," which aired originally on February 20, 1958, left an impression on me.

Here is a brief summary of that episode from the CTVA US Comedy The People's Choice episode guide.

Sock, played by Jackie Cooper, "loses the sale of a house because the prospective buyer's wife dislikes a minor detail. Convinced that women are beginning to take over the world, Sock goes to sleep and has nightmare on the subject."

The episode guide does not describe the nightmare, but I remember it. Note that I have not seen this episode in over 45 years and I only saw it once, so some of my memories may not be right on the money, but here is what I recall:

Sock's nightmare takes place in a world where the women are taking over and are in the process of acclimating men to their rule. All the women wear futuristic pants suits and they are shown forcing reluctant men to enter a transformation booth, which "refines" their personalities and their attire.

When they exit the booth, the men act effemininely and wear futuristic mini-skirt outfits. As Sock enters the booth, he seeks help from his loyal canine companion, Cleo, but she refuses to help him because Cleo is female and more loyal to the distaff side of civilization rather than her owner.

That is all I remember, but it left an indelible impression on my impressionable mind back then, just another added twist in my gender identity that began when my mother put me in a dress for my christening at age one month.

If anyone has any other details concerning this episode of The People's Choice, I would love to hear them. Or better, if anyone has a video recording of that episode, I'd love to borrow it. (I searched high and low and no recordings exist for sale or viewing anywhere I looked.)

confusion in kindergarten

Reflecting on yesterday's blog posting, I recalled this episode in my life.

I attended kindergarten during the 1956-57 school year. Back then, men were men, women were women, boys were boys, and girls were girls. I was unaware of anybody in between. They were not part of my world.

In kindergarten, there was a weekly play time that lasted for a half hour or so. You had no choice on how to use your play time. Instead, the teacher assigned you to a specific play station. As a result, you would play at a different play station with a different mix of fellow kindergarteners each play time. One time, you might be at the sandbox, another time, at the building blocks, etc.

The boys and girls were segregated at play time, so my fellow play station mates were always boys.

The play station assignments did not vary much. The same kids were at the same play stations each week. I was usually at the building block station, but occasionally I received a different assignment and one time that assignment was the dreaded house play station. Yes, I had to play house with four or five of my fellow male students!

I dreaded this assignment because in my humble opinion, playing house was a girl's game and I was not a girl. I was very surprised how my fellow male students did not mind playing house and had no problem wearing very feminine pinafore aprons and playing the Mommy role.

I don't recall how I got through it. If I had a choice, I imagine I played the Daddy role. If I had no choice and had to play a female role, maybe I played the dyke sister of one of the Mommies.

I wonder what those "male Mommies" are doing today? No matter what they are doing, I bet they would be surprised how this reluctant male Mommy turned out!

The Frill of It All

"Another Fashion Week here in New York, another frenzy. But hidden in all the hairspray, hubbub and hilarious air kisses are clues not only to what we'll be wearing next season, but what that says about us as a society right now, what we're feeling, and where we may be heading. Fashion historians have long known that clothes are just as accurate a barometer of the culture for which they're created as any political or literary histories."

Read all about it here.

Can a freer vision of girlhood survive without reimagining boyhood?

This is something I have often thought about and in my opinion, the answer is: it should not.

Read a discussion about this thought-provoking question here.

Grammy-wear

You know you are out of step with the current music scene when you have no idea who is the opening act of the Grammy awards show. She was beautiful, her gown was to-die-for, and her duet with a Frank Sinatra hologram was interesting, but who was she?

The mystery ended when she won the first award presented on the show; she was Alicia Keys. (I scoured the Internet looking for a photo of Ms. Keys in her to-die-for gown, but the best I could find is this one.)

There were other interesting outfits worn by the distaff side of the entertainment last night.

Carrie Underwood looked hot and Rihanna always shows up wearing something interesting, but there were some trashy outfits, too, outfits that this femulator would not be caught dead in (but then again, I guess I wouldn't know what I was wearing unless there really is an afterlife).

T-girl Links Updated

I made two additions to my T-Girl Links: Jess and T's our life in pink and Joanie's place.

Transfixed

Transfixed is a recent foreign film featuring male-to-female crossdressers (femulators). I rented the film and was very impressed with the high quality of femulation. The crossdressers are absolutely gorgeous and the film is worth watching just to gawk at the high art of femulation achieved in this film.

Here is the plot of the film according to Blockbuster:

"A cross-dressing man allows himself to be used as bait to trap a killer in this crime-drama. Bo Ancelin (Robinson Stevenin) is a twentysomething man from Brussels who feels most comfortable dressing and living as a woman. Some might see Bo's lifestyle as a marked contrast to that of his father, a successful and well-regarded businessman, though it seems father has some secrets of his own after no-nonsense police detective, Paul Huysmans (Richard Bohringer), arrests him on charges of child molestation.

"While Bo bears his own scars from his upbringing, he's not eager to speak against his father in court, but before long both Bo and Huysmans have bigger fish to fry -- a serial killer is walking the streets of Brussels and choosing as his favored victims prostitutes and cross-dressers.

"When two of his friends are murdered by the killer, Bo decides he must step in to help catch the killer that Huysmans hasn't yet found on his own, though Bo soon falls into a dangerous position when he falls in love with Johnny (Stephane Metzger), a sullen and street-smart hustler who helps rent-boys find profitable assignations with older women."

The photo above is actor Robinson Stevenin in Bo Ancelin drag. Early in the film, he wears a Chanel suit to die for!

I think you will enjoy the film, but be forewarned that you will have to deal with sub-titles to view the film "in English."

Suzy Parker

Laurie was the first person to correctly identify the mystery Femulate This model as Suzy Parker and as a result, Laurie will be the recipient of a "major award." (Thank you all, who participated in the contest.)

Suzy Parker was the first supermodel and made such a splash in the 1950s that she signed a movie contract. Her film and television resume includes a wide range of roles.

I first saw the gorgeous Suzy on an episode of the original Twilight Zone. The episode was called "Number 12 Looks Just Like You" and takes place in a future society, where Suzy's character chooses not to undergo a transformation, which happens to everybody at the age of nineteen and makes them beautiful and immune to disease. To undergo it, a person must choose from a limited collection of models, labeled by a number, to transform into. (In my opinion, Suzy was more beautiful than any of the models she had to choose from, so I don't blame her for balking.)

I became a fan of Suzy Parker. I actually have an autographed copy of her photo that appears above. Over the years, I have made an effort to view as many of her acting appearances as possible. She was an average actress, but she was tall (5' 10"), leggy, and beautiful, just like I wanted to be, and I relished every moment she appeared on the screen.

She married film actor Bradford Dillman, stopped modeling and acting, and died at the age of 70 in 2003.

The Beatles recorded a song named after her, which they performed in the film Let It Be.

guess the Femulate This model

Be the first to correctly identify today's Femulate This model and you will win "a major award."

Two rules: (1) only one guess per contestant and (2) you must submit your guess as a comment to this posting.

blondes have more votes again

The Wig Poll is over. The blog readers who voted preferred me in the short blonde wig rather than the long brunette wig by an overwhelming 3 to 1 ratio. There was a total of 109 votes, 85 (77%) for the blonde and 24 (22%) for the brunette.

I was surprised how many people voted! The last poll I ran here had less than half (50) the voters of this poll.

I should not be surprised that the blonde won. In my previous poll, my hair color poll, blondes came out ahead (46% voted for blonde, strawberry blonde, and platinum blonde, while 34% voted for brunette and 20% for red).

I have no plans on getting rid of the brunette wig and plan to wear it when I am in the mood. But, I am now considering getting the long brunette styled wig in a blonde shade!

coming soon to a department store near you

first anniversary

Today is the first anniversary of this blog. (Hurrah!)

I am very amazed by the growth of this blog's popularity during its first year (see the chart below).

These days, the blog averages 467 hits a day, which includes an average of 73 repeat visitors each day. Thank you for your support and for coming back!

Alice in Fashionland

Being a fashionista, I found this article about a first foray into New York Fashion Week by Cintra Wilson, interesting and amusing.

Von Furstenberg Fall 2008 collection

Since Diane von Furstenberg is the our favorite fashion designer du jour, I thought you might like to see her Fall 2008 collection, which she showed last night in NYC. Fashion Wire Daily has the story and the photos.

View the slideshow and note the hair styles on most of the models. They remind me of the styling of my long brunette wig!

wig poll

Don't forget to vote in the Wig Poll.

We are about half way through with about 3-1/4 days to go, so if you haven't voted yet, there is still time to indicate if you like me in the short blonde wig or the long brunette wig.

In the meantime, you can read what Laura wrote about the poll:

"I voted for the brown wig. Then saw the poll that said more people chose the blonde and was asked if I wanted to change my vote. It's my opinion that the two are both very nice, but more important and to the issue is the fact that you look passable in either -- not swishy-fem in a sissy sort of way, but in a respectable classic beauty way. I think you'd look good in a babushka.

"The two looks are two very different looks. While the blond wig makes you look more like the women of your age, many women do prefer longer, prettier hair. (Frankly, I've never met a man who preferred short hair on a women he liked.)

"I like the brown, longer hair look because it gives you a more elegant look -- much more of a Diane von Furstenberg elegance. It's my opinion that if you want to blend into the background and be less noticed, wear the blonde wig. However, I think you'll feel more like a women with longer hair. As Diane said, 'Want to fell like a women? Wear a dress.' I think it is so with the hair too. 'want to feel like a women, wear longer, prettier hair.'"

vintage crossdressing (circa 1952)

let's make-up

I received an e-mail from a femulator, who is having problems with her makeup regime. She has bought books on the subject and visited Web sites to hone her makeup skills, but she complains that the "experts" are often in disagreement about how to apply makeup. She asked me for help.

I made two suggestions.

Experiment.

If the experts disagree, try doing it each way that they recommend. Then see what works best for you and incorporate that into your makeup routine. (I have been at it seriously for over 20 years and I still experiment with my routine. If I find something new that may work for me, I try it. If it works, great; if not, I chalk it up to experience.)

Get made over.

You can read books, visit Web sites, and watch videos on makeup application, but nothing beats getting a makeover. When you get a makeover, the cosmetician will do her magic on you (and not some model in a book or video), so whatever she does will be specific to you. And you can ask questions to your heart's content.

Getting a makeover may be easier said, than done. I live in a very open-minded part of the USA and I have never been turned down when I sought a makeover, whether it was in a small local salon or a big franchise store in the mall.

Your mileage may vary depending on where you live. If you live in the country, head for the city, specifically a mall near a city. In my experience, M•A•C and Sephora are franchise makeup stores located in many malls that will makeover femulators without hesitation. (For what it's worth, my best makeover experience was at Sephora in the West Farms Mall in West Hartford, CT.)

wig poll

I am torn between two wigs. Some people prefer me in my short blonde wig; others prefer my long brunette wig.

What do you think? Vote in my Wig Poll and help me decide.

orange

I received an e-mail asking why I recommend orange beard cover and not some other color.

Because...

Blue is the color you are trying to hide when you use beard cover. To hide blue, you use blue's complementary color, which is orange. (Blue and orange are opposite each other on the color wheel.)

If you use another color of beard cover, it may look like it is doing the job when you look in your mirror, but have your picture taken and you will still see blue in your photos. Only orange beard cover gets rid of the blues in both your mirror and your photos.