out last night

Just wanted to quickly post a photo here from last night's outing en femme. I will have more to say about last night later today.

The Rest of the Story...

I attended the monthly Creative Cocktail Hour at Real Art Ways in Hartford last night. I arrived around 6:15, met one of my trans-sisters, and basically hung out with her until she left at 8:45.

It was the usual eclectic crowd of artists, professionals, and students, with about a half dozen trans-people in the mix. I had one drink, an apple cider martini; it was delicious and made me mellow momentarily.

At one point, my trans-sister asked me to honestly critique her ability to pass, which I did. When I was done, I asked her to do the same and she had two criticisms: that I am "big" and that I should dress more conservatively in order to blend.

I am big; no doubt about that. At 6 ft 2 inches and 200-something pounds, I stand out.

I cannot do much about my height, but if I was thinner, I might look less like a quarterback in drag. So, now my goal is to get down to 190-something pounds and if I do, I plan to reward myself by buying a dress to die for from Victoria's Secret.

Regarding my wardrobe, I thought I was appropriately dressed for the cocktail hour (see the accompanying photo and judge for your self). Admittedly, the majority of attendees were not wearing skirts or dresses, but there were other women so attired, so I was not alone.

After my trans-sister made the "big" comment, I became self-conscious about my size and noticed how I dwarfed almost everybody (both men and women) at the cocktail party, so I sat down for a while to hide my size and give my feet a break from the new 3-1/2-inch platform pumps I was wearing.

My trans-sister left, but I hung out on my own to see if I would have any success mixing with non-trans-people.

I saw a woman I knew from past cocktail hours, so I walked over to see what was up with her. She had a new motorcycle and was showing it to another woman, who I did not know. She introduced me to the other woman, who turned out to be running for the city council in a neighboring city.

The neighboring city is known for its Polish population and this woman looked Polish to me. Being Polish myself, I asked her if she was Polish because she looked Polish. She acknowledged her roots and thanked me for saying she looked Polish. We connected and talked about our Polish roots until a guy she had met earlier showed up and latched onto her.

He ignored me until it was obvious I was not going away. Finally, he introduced himself and was pleasant with me, but I did not connect with him at all. He was after her and when I realized our conversation had reached a dead end, I decided to go home and watch the rest of the Red Sox game.

I was tired anyway, so it was no loss. And I felt I had achieved something by socializing with new people who were not from the trans-tribe.

When I arrived home, my wife commented on my blonde wig. She said it was not a good color for me.

I have been thinking it is time for a change. One of the reasons I conducted my hair color poll here last month was to get feedback on what color looked best on me. Brunette came in a close second to blonde. So maybe it is time to go wig shopping.

out tonight

I will be going out en femme this evening to a cocktail hour that lasts for hours and perhaps, dinner depending on the quality and quantity of the finger food at the cocktail hour.

Since I awoke, all I have been thinking about is going out. I can hardly concentrate on my work. Well, a couple of more hours and I am out of here to go home and get ready for my outing.

more tips from Bobbi Brown

I visited Bobbi Brown's web site and found more useful information for makeup mavens (like me).

Click on the Looks & Tips link near the top of the page and it reveals a pull-down menu of helpful items.

Select 10-Step Beauty Guide from the pull-down menu and a new window appears that allows you to click through the steps of doing your makeup the Bobbi Brown way.

They say a picture's worth a thousand words. Well, in my opinion, a video is worth a million words and on the right side of the page is another menu that includes four how-to videos you can view online (how to apply concealer, foundation, lip makeup, and mascara).

All good stuff! Explore the rest of the site and you will find even more.

tips from Bobbi Brown

Bobbi Brown is a famous makeup artist. Today, I discovered that Bobbi is a female!

Before I was aware of Bobbi Brown, the makeup artist, I was aware of Bobby Brown, the singer, who was married to Whitney Houston. For awhile, I thought Bobbi Brown and Bobby Brown were the same person, but eventually I sorted that out, but I still mistakenly thought that they were both male.

My error was due to the fact that I never saw Bobbi Brown's name in print, nor did I ever see a photo or video of Bobbi. I only heard her name mentioned on television or radio, so I was not aware of the feminine spelling of Bobbi.

Today, I read an article about Bobbi Brown and I realized the error of my ways.

The article contains Bobbi's five beauty tips:

1. Plump – use two moisturisers, maybe a hydrating one and a balm.

2. Brighten - concealer under the eyes will brighten and make you look less tired.

3. Smooth – foundation or tinted moisturiser will help to even out the skin tone.

4. Define – liner and mascara will define the eyes. Also use a brow pencil and lip-liner.

5. Pop – this means colour, add a little to your cheeks and to your lips.

For what it's worth, I already follow all five of Bobbi Brown's tips except the first. I do use a moisturizer, but I don't use two moisturizers. When I get ready to go out en femme tomorrow, I will try two and see if it makes a difference.

out of my closet

writing trans-fiction

I write for a living. All of it is non-fiction, eight hours a day, five days a week.

When I was a young girly-boy, I wrote a lot of fiction. My favorite topic was nuclear war apocalypses. My grammar school teachers must have worried about me!

As I progressed through grammar school, high school, college, and beyond, I abandoned fiction for non-fiction because that was what my studies required.

The last piece of fiction I completed was a short story about a young couple and their experiences attending the original Woodstock rock festival. It was based on my experience attending that festival and my story won first prize in a writing competition at my college.

Out of school, my first real job was writing about radio technology. You can't get much more technical than that. I made a name for myself in that field and became a big frog in a small pond. To sustain myself, I just kept on writing non-fiction.

Since I was immersed in technology on a daily basis, I joined the online world early on dialing up bulletin boards, CompuServe, and later, the Internet.

The online world gave me an education about the transgendered world. Going in, I knew I was not the only girly-boy in the world, but I had no idea that I had so many sisters. One thing led to another and by means of the online world, I found a local support group, which nudged me out of my closet and out into the real world en femme.

Exploring the online transgendered world, I also discovered transgendered fiction. Over the years, I have read a lot of it and I still frequent Storysite and Fictionmania.

Some transgendered fiction is good and there are some real gems out there, too, but a lot of it is junk... poorly written, poorly structured, unrealistic, etc. I thought to myself that I could do better than that. And I've tried.

Over the years, I have started a truckload of stories, but have never finished one! (I almost completed one, but I lost it in the great hard disk crash of '29.)

Anyway, my goal is to finish one this month and post for your reading pleasure on National Crossdresser's Day.

Wish me luck.

Two for the Road

Two for the Road, a 1967 film starring Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney was on the telly yesterday. I have not seen it in years and upon seeing it again, I recalled that it used to be one of my favorite films. After watching it again, it is back on my list of favorite films.

Audrey Hepburn was at her peak in this film. She was never more beautiful and in this film, she wears so many different outfits that it makes a fashionista's head spin. (I want to be Audrey Hepburn when I grow up.)

The fashions are just icing on the cake. The film is an intelligent romantic comedy and was nominated for a number of awards including an Oscar nomination for "Best Writing, Story and Screenplay."

It is well worth a look.

605

Yesterday, the hit counter was incremented 605 times... an all-time high for a single day!

Amazing!

october outings

There are two and potentially three outings en femme for me coming up this month.

Thursday, I will be attending the monthly cocktail party at Real Art Ways in Hartford. I will likely dine out before the party in a restaurant yet to be determined.

Wednesday, October 24, is my support group's Halloween party. I have no idea what to wear!

Then, there is Wednesday, October 31, the real Halloween...

There is a rumor going around at work that there might be some "official company" Halloween festivities that day. If so, I will likely appear in costume... en femme, of course. If not, I might appear in en femme anyway because there are some free spirits that always show up in costume, so I might as well join in on the fun!

shoe buying frenzy

Like many women, I love shoes.

Since Payless is having their BOGO sale (Buy One, Get One half off), I decided to stop by the local Payless store during lunch and see what they had in my size (11W in Payless's sizes).

To tell you the truth, I did not have high hopes of finding anything. I've stopped at this particular Payless store a number of times and seldom buy anything there because they never have much in my size.

I entered the store, turned down the aisle where the woman's sizes end and the men's sizes begin and I was shocked. The rack was full of size 11Ws, as well as 11s, which sometimes fit me depending on the style of shoe. I selected six to try on and bought the four illustrated here. I almost bought all six, but decided to control myself.Joy Baby Doll Pump - Sweet, yet undeniably sexy, this patent pump features a baby doll mary jane upper strap and a 3" wrapped heel. Insole is lightly padded for comfort.Tara Boot - The Tara features a nice mix of polished faux leather and buttery soft faux suede. The back of the shaft stretches for fit, while the vamp features a stylish pointed toe. Three pewter buttons adorn the shaft, which zips up for convenience. The heel measures 2½” and the insole is padded for comfort.Johanna Platform Pump - This trendy menswear pump features a 3½” heel and a stylish round toe. Faux suede upper.Kami Dress Pump - This tailored pump with patent piping and bow accent is perfect for work or play. Features cute round toe and 3" wrapped heel.

The descriptions above are from the Payless web site.

The Joy Baby Doll Pump is my favorite and I was lucky to get it because it was discontinued and there was only one pair left!

Why the T in LGBT is here to stay

Transgender people are not beggars at the civil rights table set by gay and lesbian activists. They are integral to the struggle for gender freedom for all.

coming out

Today is National Coming Out Day for the GLBT community.

I have no plans to come out today, but coincidentally, I did write about my hero/heroine, Grayson Perry yesterday. She is my hero/heroine because she is a public personality (like me), who happens to be a crossdresser (like me) and is very out about it (unlike me).

My good friend Anonymous left the following comment to that blog posting: "Two words: Jan Morris."

I assume that Anonymous was inferring that since Jan Morris and I are both writers that Ms. Morris should be my hero rather than Ms. Perry, who is an artist.

I replied that there is a difference.

Yes, like me, Jan Morris is a writer, but unlike me, Jan Morris is a post-op transsexual, i.e., he/she had sex reassignment surgery and now lives 24/7 as a woman. I, on the other hand, am a crossdresser and have no interest in having sex reassignment surgery.

I have considered coming out as a crossdresser in my writing world... sort of run it up the flagpole and see who salutes and who burns down the flagpole. It certainly would spice up my life. Maybe I'll do it soon, maybe never, but it is something to think about.

By the way, I highly recommend this interview with Grayson Perry. In the interview, she expresses a lot of my thoughts exactly.

a happy couple

the hits just keep on coming

The hit count for this blog has been averaging over 300 hits per day for about a month. During the past week, the average crept up to over 400 hits per day. Yesterday, the hit count broke 500 for the first time!

I'm amazed!

my hero/heroine

Grayson Perry is an award-winning English artist, best known for ceramic vases. In 2003, Grayson won the Turner Prize, which is an annual British prize presented to deserving visual artists.

Grayson is out and usually appears in public en femme. (That is Grayson in the photo on the right at the opening of an art exhibition in London back in February.) I give him/her a lot of credit for that.

I am a writer and a crossdresser, but my writing life and crossdressing life do not cross paths (except for here). It has often crossed my mind to come out as a crossdresser in my writing world.

Initially, it would probably shock a lot of people and I may lose some friends and acquaintances, who are transphobic. But, it might open up a whole new world of opportunities for me as a writer. It certainly would be liberating and would spice up my life a bit, too!

dreaming again

I watched a movie called Wild Hogs last night. It was a comedy with very few laughs and overall, it was a disappointment.

The plot involves four middle-aged suburbanites, who decide to take a break from their usual routine and drive cross country on motorcycles.

During their roadtrip, they stop at a bar that houses a real motorcycle gang, who do not take kindly to the suburbanites posing as bikers. One thing leads to another and the "real bikers" spend the rest of the movie chasing the "posers" in order to do bodily harm to them.

I went to bed after the movie ended.

During the night, I dreamed I was modeling en femme in the fashion show with the same group of guys and gals I modeled with last month. But instead of modeling in a diverse local Connecticut bar, we modeled in the biker bar from the movie!

As luck would have it, we were very good and passed with flying colors. The motorcycle gang ogled us and made their intentions clear that they wanted to do us like a man does a woman.

We hightailed it out of there just as the gang discovered that we were really crossdressers and as a result, wanted to do bodily harm to us (or worse).

Then, I woke up.

long weekend

It was a long and busy weekend and I did not have time to publish a new post here. Dinner with friends on Saturday, family reunion on Sunday, a day at the casino on Monday, and I am almost glad to be back at work today to rest!

No femulating this weekend, but I thought about femulating. And I have decided that the casino would be a great place to femulate in the future. Do a little gambling, shop at the stores in the casino's mall, and dine at one of the array of restaurants at the casino... I think it would be nice day out en femme.

male female models

Urban legend says that some of the fashion models wearing female finery on the catwalks of the fashion world are actually males.

It makes sense. Fashion models are supposed to be tall, leggy, thin, and have no figure to speak of just like many males (and few females), so why not use males?

Trying to determine which female fashion models, if any, are actually male has been a futile endeavor. The fashion houses don't want their customers to know that males are modeling their gowns and dresses and the models don't want the public to know the truth either.

In my quest to find the truth, I recently came across the following give and take on Yahoo! Answers.

Richard Lynch asked, "Im (sic) a crossdresser and want to become a model. Are there any places which would consider taking a crossdressing guy, like myself, and helping them with a modelling career?"

ScubaDude answered, "Actually, yes there is. The problem is you need to live in Italy though. I understand that over 50% of those extreme high fashion Italian models are actually men. There are even some designers who will ONLY hire transgendered men to show their clothing because of their height, angular facial bones, higher foreheads and longer arms and legs."

I don't know how true this is, but it is one of the few leads I have been able to find.

The photos above and below are a random selection of models appearing in recent fashion shows in Milan, Italy. If the story is true, chances are that two of these models are male!

some good news on TV for a change

TV Landscape Changing for Transgender Characters

The portrayal of transgender characters on television these days seems to be sort of a glass-is-either-half-empty-or-half-full situation.

new outfit

I did some online shopping en femme today. I bought the jacket, skirt, and cami that you see in the accompanying photo.

I hope it looks half as good on me as it does on the model!