my dwelling

I have been a crossdresser for about 45 years and I often wonder how much time I have spent dwelling on crossdressing, i.e., not actually crossdressing, but rather thinking, reading, dreaming, etc. about crossdressing. I am sure it is many hours.

If I dwelled on crossdressing for only one hour per day, that comes out to be 16,436 hours over 45 years. Those 16,436 hours equal 685 days, which is just two months shy of two years dwelling on crossdressing!

That number is likely on the low side because some days I dwell on crossdressing for much longer than one hour. (I recall days when I dwelled on crossdressing all day long.) On the other hand, there are very few days when I don't dwell on crossdressing at all. So the total time I have dwelled on crossdressing is easily way over two years.

What a waste! Just think about what I could have accomplished if I didn't have crossdressing on my mind interfering with my work, my play, my life.

I wonder what if I crossdressed everyday, 24/7 or something close to 24/7. Would I stop dwelling on crossdressing and accomplish something with that newly freed time?

I know when I spend a day en femme and get over the initial thrill of being crossdressed that I stop thinking about crossdressing and get on with my day even though it is a day en femme. If I lived full-time en femme, would I accomplish more in my life?

I would sure like to find out, but I think it will be something I'll never know.

20,000 readers served

Midday yesterday, the hit counter on this 8-month-old blog passed the 20,000 mark. Thank you for reading and returning to read some more!

Coincidentally, the odometer on my 6-month-old car passed the 10,000 mark.

May my hit counter speed up and my odometer slow down!

do-over

Trans Victory in Delay of U.S. Employee Non-Discrimination Bill

In an apparent victory for LGBT activists and their supporters, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi [D-Calif.] postponed final debate on an amended Employment Non-Discrimination Act. The bill has come in for criticism from gay organizations because it does not include transgender-specific protections.

Bill Clinton, First Lady

The cover story of this week's issue of New York Magazine is titled "Bill Clinton, First Lady." I have not read the story yet, but I love the cover, which features the former President and possible future First Lady in Jackie Kennedy drag.

letter to Congressman Barney Frank

Read this excellent letter to Congressman Barney Frank regarding his bailing on the transgender community.

doldrums

I am in the crossdressing doldrums.

For the past two or three days, my interest in crossdressing has been very low. I don't know why and I don't know how long it will last.

I have these doldrums about once or twice a year. I am sure they will pass and soon I will be looking forward to an opportunity to pass.

And so it goes.

it's about time!!!

I received the following by e-mail from Dru Levasseur (drulevasseur@hotmail.com):

Hello everyone,

You are receiving this email because I need your leadership and your voice in organizing the area's first ever Transgender Pride March and Rally in 2008. It's time to bring the transgender communities in the western Massachusetts, southern Vermont, and Connecticut areas together and have a day of celebration and organizing.

Why?

Because it's not enough to be "included" in the Gay Pride Parades. Because the Transgender Day of Remembrance should not be the only time we get together and have a community rally. Because we have important trans-inclusive legislation pending in Connecticut and Massachusetts that we need to pass to protect ourselves.

I'm counting on you to forward this email to all trans-related groups in the area, including all five colleges queer/trans groups, East Coast Female to Male Group, Unity of the Pioneer Valley, TREE, Twenty Club, Sunshine Club, Brattleboro Trans Group, MTPC, and any organizations or groups that I missed.

The first organizational meeting is on NOVEMBER 1, 2007, 7pm-9pm
Media Education Foundation
60 Masonic Street
Northampton, Massachusetts 01060

In solidarity,

Dru

GUTLESS: Nancy Pelosi, George Miller, Barney Frank, & Tammy Baldwin

House cuts transgender people from hate crimes bill

Even as the Senate passed a hate crimes bill sought for a decade by gays and lesbians, House Democratic leaders decided Thursday to strip transgender people from another long-languishing civil rights bill, generating dismay in the gay community and furious but fruitless lobbying for more time.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco and Reps. George Miller, D-Martinez, Barney Frank, D-Mass., and Tammy Baldwin, D-Wis., believe they lack the votes in the Democrat-controlled House to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act if it includes gender identity along with sexual orientation as a prohibited ground for firing an employee.

Oddly enough, the hate crimes bill that passed the Senate Thursday includes transgender people and won 60-39, the supermajority necessary to beat a Republican filibuster. All 49 Senate Democrats voted for it, along with two independents and nine Republicans.

Read the whole story here.

1000 words

it's too hot!

We planned to go to the Big E today, but it's just too hot!

It is also too hot to wear a wig, makeup, and a girdle!

most popular photos

There is a feature on flickr that ranks your most popular photos by the number of times people have viewed a photo, the number of times that people have dubbed a particular photo one of their "favorites," and the number of comments that people have left about a particular photo.

Those three categories (views, favorites, and comments) are simple statistical counts.

Flickr also has a category called "interestingness" and I have no idea how they calculate it. According to flickr's own blog, "interestingness is a ranking algorithm based on user behavior around the photos taking into account some obvious things like how many users add the photo to their favorites and some subtle things like the relationship between the person who uploaded the photo and the people who are commenting (plus a whole bunch of secret sauce)."

Go figure!

Anyway, as of today, here are my most popular photos on flickr.

Interestingness

Why this photo is considered to be most interesting stumps me! I admit it is a good photo and I look OK in it, but there are other photos that are just as good, if not better in my humble opinion.















Views and Favorites

This photo is ranked as having the most views (7288) and as being named a "favorite" by other people (27). It is not a very good photo. My eyes are half-closed and I am not looking at the camera, but show a little leg and I guess that does the trick. By the way, my second most popular photo in these two categories is also a leggy shot: me posing in my Playboy bunny Halloween costume.















Comments

This photo has received the most comments (12) and it is one of my favorite photos, so there will be no arguments from me!

fall break

I am on vacation this week, so I may not be posting as often as I usually do.

I do hope to have one day out in girl mode this week and if I do get out, you can expect me to post some new tales here real soon now.

my friend Robyn

Pic1
Originally uploaded by Robyn1967

Out of the blue, I received a flickr e-mail informing me that someone on flickr named "Robyn1967" had dubbed me as one of their Contacts. The e-mail asked if I would like to dub Robyn1967 as one of my Contacts, too.

I get these new Contact e-mails about four or five times per week and when I do, I check out the person's flickr profile to decide whether to make them my Contact, too.

When I arrived at Robyn1967's flickr profile, I was surprised. Most of my Contacts are other crossdressers; very few are genetic woman. It was obvious from her photos that Robyn1967 was a genetic woman; so I thought, until I started reading her photo captions.

I was "Wow'd." Her photos were wonderful and her story was fascinating. Among other things, Robyn lived and worked as a woman, which is one of my unfulfilled dreams.

I quickly added Robyn as a Contact and made plans to read her blog bio later.

Out of the blue, I received an e-mail from Robyn. She thanked me for reciprocating Contact-wise, then complimented my flickr photos. "You look REAL, sis, which from me is the ultimate compliment in that area." Boy, I'll say!

I dropped everything and read Robyn's bio. I found that we had a lot in common, not only the usual crossdresser life experience stuff, but other things crossdressing and non-crossdressing related.

We exchanged more e-mails and upgraded each other's status from Contact to Friend. I hope this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I highly recommend viewing her photos and reading her story.

arms too long or sleeves too short

I ran some errands during lunch in boy mode. My errands took me to the mall. The Torrid store where I bought my outfits for the fashion show is in the mall. I had photos from the fashion show that I wanted to show them to Jo, the manager of the store, who was so helpful when I picked out the outfits to model.

Entering the store, I did not see the Jo, but another saleswoman, Tiffany, greeted me. I asked for Jo, but she was on another assignment. I explained I had photos to show Jo and Tiffany seemed interested, so I asked if she wanted to see them. She did.

She gushed over the photos and told me when Jo would be back so that I could show her the photos, too.

Since I was in the store, I asked what was new and Tiffany showed me a plaid belted coat to die for. I tried it on, but my arms are too long or the coat sleeves too short. Too bad... I would have bought the coat on the spot.

international audience

I use StatCounter to provide the number of "Hits" that appears in the counter (at the lower right corner of this page) and to log real-time detailed web statistics.

I check the statistics everyday and it is interesting to see the international audience of this blog. For example, during the past 24 hours, this blog had visitors from the following countries: Algeria, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Canada, Finland, Germany, Hong Kong, Iraq, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Nepal, Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Puerto Rico, Republic of Korea, Singapore, Slovakia, Spain, Sri Lanka, Switzerland, Ukraine, United Kingdom, and United States.

I was a little surprised to see war-torn Iraq in the list!

ten minutes with Rebecca Romijn

Rebecca Romijn is one of my faves. I enjoy her acting and love the way she looks. (She is 5'11" tall; if I were 20 years younger, I'd be femulating her.)

Currently, Ms. Romijn plays a post-op male-to-female transsexual on the ABC television series Ugly Betty.

Today, GayWired.com has an interesting story about Ms. Romijn and her portrayal of a transwoman on Ugly Betty. Here is the link to the story titled Ten Minutes with Rebecca Romijn.

our female admirers redux

Yesterday, I wondered why women are often very enthusiastic when they encounter a crossdresser that is not their spouse or SO.

After posting yesterday's blog entry, I searched the Internet for answers and found an excellent article on the Gender Evolve web site, which is an excellent site for male-to-female transwomen.

The article is called What do Genetic Women really think about us? If you read the article, also read the comments after the article; they are well worth reading.

our female admirers

I understand why a spouse or significant other (SO) would not embrace crossdressing by their partner. Among other things, she may feel that her man is less of a man if he crossdresses.

I don't understand why the other women are often very enthusiastic when they encounter a crossdresser that is not their spouse or SO (not that there is anything wrong with that).

I frequently encounter other women who gush over my crossdressing. Believe me, I love their appreciation for what I am doing, but I am at a loss as to the reason for their appreciation.

Maybe some of the women who gush over crossdressers get some satisfaction from the fact that a member of the so-called "dominant sex" is trying to emulate a member of the so-called "weaker sex." ("Welcome to our club.")

Maybe some women admire crossdressers for being true to themselves.

I dunno. It's just another conundrum in a long line of conundrums that crossdressers encounter.

fashion show redux

I just reread the blog posting that I wrote Saturday morning after the fashion show and fixed the spelling and grammatical errors that I missed because of the cobwebs that were in my head when I wrote it.

That blog posting sounds like I am bragging, but I really did receive a lot of nice comments about my appearance Friday night and that makes me feel good about my en femme self. There is too much guilt and self-hatred among transpeople and I just want to spread the word that a transperson can also feel great about herself; how can you not help feeling great about yourself when you receive compliments! Friday night, I felt good about myself... real good!

Other random thoughts about Friday night...

The shoes I wore were surprisingly comfortable despite their 4-3/4-inch heels. I could not wear them while driving my car to and from the event because it was impossible and probably dangerous to manipulate the brake, clutch, and gas pedals wearing those shoes (I wore more sensible high heels for the trip), but I wore them all night at the fashion show and was not hobbled like I have been by shorter high heels.

I live in the boonies and don't have many neighbors. As a result, except for silver/gray SUVs (they all look alike to me), I recognize the vehicles my neighbors drive and I am sure they recognize my Subaru (it's the only green vehicle in the neighborhood).

Friday night, as I drove away from home on my way to the fashion show, I recognized a vehicle coming from the opposite direction. Due to its darkened windshield, I could not see the driver, but I am sure whoever was driving recognized my car, but I wonder if they recognized the driver. If the wife was driving, she might ask me about it because I often run into her walking her dog when I walk our dogs.

I met a young woman at the show, who has the same name as my daughter except that she spells it differently than my daughter, who was named after Halley's Comet. Turns out they are the same age, too, born only 9 days apart. Small world!

more fashion show photos

Here is an article that includes more photos from the fashion show.