Wearing ModCloth |
Femulating German soldiers, circa 1940. |
Wearing Cynthia Rowley |
As I began researching the art of makeup, I quickly learned that blue eyeshadow was not the best choice for someone like me who has green eyes. I also learned about shading with different hues of eyeshadow, applying eyeliner and mascara, thinning and coloring eyebrows, etc.
Who knew that the doing your eyes was so complicated!
I read books on the topic that were informative, but not hands-on. I figured that “hands-on” meant getting a professional makeover, so I pulled up my big girl panties and dared to have a few makeovers primarily for the purpose of learning how professionals would apply makeup to my face. The problem is that it is difficult to see what the artist is doing if you are the canvas.
One pro proffered a handheld mirror so I could watch what he was doing. In theory, that should work, but in practice, it did not because holding a mirror up to my face impeded what he was trying to do. I could view the results of each step of his makeup application, but I could not see how he performed the application.
Videotapes were popular back then, so I bought a VHS tape called The Eyes Have It by Donna Mills, a drop-dead gorgeous actress, who had beautiful eyes. On the tape, Donna showed how she did her makeup step-by-step.
After watching the tape once, I set up my makeup mirror next to the television and played the tape again applying each step of Donna’s routine to myself. Almost 40 years later and I am still following her routine (more or less) to do my eyes sans blue eyeshadow.
(The Eyes Have It is no longer for sale unless you can find a used copy on eBay or elsewhere, however, the video is available on YouTube in various forms.)
Wearing Cynthia Rowley |
Bert Errol, professional femulator, circa 1930 |
Wearing Alice + Olivia |
Alexandre Styker (right) femulating in the 2013 French film Belinda and Me. |
Wearing Cara Cara |
Raoul Vázquez femulates Bad Gyal on Spanish television’s Tu Cara Me Suena (Your Face Sounds Familiar). Click here to view this absolutely amazing femulation on YouTube. |
As a novice, I wore dresses exclusively. I was of the opinion that if I wanted to crossdress wearing pants, I might as well forgo the wig, makeup, heels, handbag, etc. and go out in boy mode.
In that distant past, my “outings” were to support group meetings or a rare support group-sponsored outings to a restaurant, beauty salon, whatever. I wore dresses during those outings and I blended in because all the other crossdressers were wearing dresses, too. (Ironically, the only attendees wearing pants were the wives and girlfriends who accompanied their “girls.”)
I started reconsidering my dress-only policy when I decided it was time to mix it up with the civilians (after being closeted* for too many years). So I bought a pair of gray leggings to wear for my debut in the real world. I paired the leggings with a black tunic sweater and black boots. (Click here to read about my first day out among the civilians.)
Since that first outing, what I wear out among the civilians depends on where I am going. I still prefer to dress to the nines, but in many situations, dressing to the nines is over the top and I have to pull back a little and dress to the eights or even the sevens.
Meanwhile, I have expanded my wardrobe to include many bifurcated garments. Since they are female bifurcated garments, there is no mistaking them for male bifurcated garments. The lack of pockets, zippers on the side, their tightness, fabric, length, color, etc. are some of the giveaways that the trousers you are wearing are milady’s and not my gents.
So, yes, it is still crossdressing if we wear pants.
* In my opinion, attending support group meetings/outings, trans conventions, etc. is as closeted as dressing at home… they are just bigger closets.
Wearing Boston Proper |
Yes, it’s still crossdressing! |
By Cathy Peterson
Stana’s post got me thinking about how we look when we’re out in public presenting as women. I understand we’re all different in age, body type, home situation, make-up, clothing and style. I have processed this with my counseling therapist the last 12 years. When I adjusted my mind’s image of me as a woman away from trying to present like a young model and started presenting as a middle-age professional woman, that’s when being out in public really got better and much more relaxed.
I’m 6 feet 2. I was over 240 poundsin my mid-50s (12 years ago). Then I got serious about taking care of myself, getting into shape and losing weight.
Treating pre-cancerous growths with an intense homeopathic regimen that included two all-natural plant-based phytoestrogens kick-started a wild hormone imbalance. My T dropped below the 5th percentile for my age, while I had significantly elevated levels of estradiol, estrone, estriol, progesterone and eventually prolactin. My nails grew faster and stronger. My hair thickened and grew faster. My skin softened and what little fair body hair I had all but disappeared. And my cancer issues shrunk and were no longer a problem
In October 2016, I started experiencing early breast development and 18 months later I had B-cup breasts. At three years (Fall 2019) I was a full 36C (where I’m still at today). My endocrinologist joked those three stages are a very natural process of “buds, bumps, boobs.” During that time, I went from 228 pounds down to 192.
I’m now 183 pounds and measure 39-31-35. Turns out, my body did a natural response to the homeopath capsules and topical lotion and started producing its own estrogens. Blood tests for my annual physical showed my female hormone levels all in the normal range for pre-menopausal woman, even now as I just turned 66.
Loving these physical changes, I also started a daily skincare plan for my softer skin. I also grew my hair out to my shoulders and since age 55, I color it every four weeks. Friends, neighbors, colleagues and especially immediate and extended family have watched my physical changes gradually over the years. When I present as husband, father, grandfather, I get a lot of nice compliments about my skin, “love your hair” and I easily pass for early 50s.
I was at lunch with my 40-year-old daughter and her two sons (all blonde with blue eyes like me) and the server smiled and said what a nice family I had. My daughter laughed, smiled and told the woman, “This is my dad, these are his grandsons.” (I loved it.)
When I present as Cathy, my image is mature average women in her mid-60s. I now have skinny arms and thin legs, do my own hair in an age-appropriate style and with good daily skincare and basic make-up (liner, shadow, mascara, lipstick), I can present very well in public. Of course, I have some mid-60s facial wrinkles, little crows’ feet, but most of my skin is clear and smooth – all looks very natural. Aspiring to everyday ladies out and about is my main focus; skincare, haircare and weight managment made it all happen!
Wearing Bebe |
Youth is wasted on the young (femulator) |