Fathers and Daughters

In my previous post, I discussed crossdressing fathers’ relationship with their sons. I do not have a son, so my thoughts on the matter were speculative. However, I do have a daughter, so I can write about daughters with some authority.

My daughter is my biggest supporter. She has happily accompanied me out among the civilians on a number of occasions. 

The daughter of another girl I know was just as willing as my daughter to accompany her Dad wherever he wanted to go and when her Dad transitioned, nothing changed between her and her father.

I think that, in general, it’s a “daddy’s little girl” thing, that is, girls are closer to their fathers than their mothers. The bond can be so strong that a father’s crossdressing is not a deal breaker. 

That was certainly the situation with my daughter. We were as thick as thieves when she was growing up and when I revealed my penchant to dress en femme, it was not a bump in the road. Her only concern was that her friends not know, but in her twenties, it no longer mattered and she was comfortable when I was dressed in the presence of her boyfriends. And so it goes.

Thinking back to my Monday post, “Our Female Fans,” it may be a little of that, too, where females are OK with crossdressing males as long as it’s not their husband who is crossdressing. A daughter is invested differently with her father than a wife with her husband. A daughter did not choose a crossdressing father, whereas a wife did choose or chooses to stay with a husband who crossdresses, so it does not reflect badly on the daughter – she had no choice. 

I believe that a father’s relationship with his children regarding his crossdressing is likely to be better with a daughter than a son, but I know of a girl with two daughters. One is OK with her father’s crossdressing, while the other is not; so much so that she broke off all relationships with her father. So it’s a crapshoot.

Wearing Venus

Peter Alexander femulating in the 1961 Austrian film Die Abenteuer des Grafen Bobby.

Fathers and Sons

When we were pregnant, I hoped our child would be female because I thought that since I was a feminine male, I would be a poor role model if our child was male.

As it turned out, our child was female, which was a big relief. (She also turned out to be my biggest supporter.)

If our child was male, I am sure that having a feminine father would have some effect on his life. How much of an effect, I’ll never know.

Would having a father who had feminine mannerisms cause the boy to have feminine mannerisms?

Are (my) feminine mannerisms natural or nurtured?

My father was not feminine, but he was not around much during my early years. However, my mother was very present during those years and if I was going to take after anyone, it seems that I would take after the parent who was present, not absent.

My theoretical son would have a double whammy – both his parents were feminine, so if nurturing was the source of femininity, then my son would potentially be even more feminine than I am.

Feminine mannerisms are one thing, but what would be the effect of having a father who was feminine and who also presented as a woman at the drop of a chapeau?

Goddess only knows.

And if my son turned out to be feminine – like father, like son – would it be the end of the world?

You girls out there who have sons are better able to answer these questions than I. So please have at it by leaving Comments to this post.

Wearing Boston Proper

Dave Foley

Happy Valentine's Day!

Source: Mad Magazine #197 March 1978

Wearing Ann Taylor

Paco León femulating in Mexican television’s La Casa de las Flores.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Wearing Price

Keith Moon

Our Female Fans

I don’t know many women who are ok with their men dressing like women. The first time I encountered such a woman was at an IFGE convention I attended years ago in Philly. 

At the opening of the convention, I noticed a couple impeccably dressed in matching skirt suits. He was tall and she was petite and I wondered where they found matching outfits and throughout the convention, they appeared in new matching outfits each day and each evening.

I was a little jealous. But I got over it. Since then, I have encountered other similar couples, that is, women who are comfortable (to one degree or another) with their femulating partner.

And it’s getting better all the time. In general, the younger generations are more accepting. It is not a big deal breaker as it is in older generations (like mine).

Although it is still uncommon to find a woman who is ok with a femulating partner, it is easy to find women who are ok with other men dressing like women (as long as the femulating men are not “their” men).

I run into this all the time. When I encounter a female stranger and she discovers that I am en femme, in the majority of cases, she is fine with it. Often, she is very interested and even enthusiastic about it. Seldom do I get a negative reaction.

Those who are positive about my femulation say something to the effect that what I am doing is “wonderful.” Yes, I have actually heard the word “wonderful” more than once from such enthusiasts.

And I don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and ask, “What do you mean by that?” Instead, I just go with the flow.

I can understand why a woman would not want her man to femulate, but I don’t understand why women are ok and even enthusiastic about other men being en femme. 

And so it goes.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Àngel Llàcer femulating on Spanish television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar (Tu Cara Me Suena).

Who's Who?

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Harry Myers femulating in the 1926 film 45 Minutes from Hollywood.

The Rest of the Story

Paula asked for the rest of the story regarding my 1983 Halloween photo accompanying Wednesday’s post, so here it is.

Newlyweds, we were invited to a Halloween party hosted by a co-worker about three months after The Great Purge of 1983.  I convinced my spouse to go as opposite genders, which required me to reacquire what I had purge.

It was 40 years ago, so my recollection is spotty. I do recall that I borrowed the cape from my sister-in-law (thank you, Helene) – I had to purchase everything else.

I was working in Danbury at the time and there was a wig shop conveniently located within walking distance of my office. So I sashayed over there one lunch hour and two young saleswomen dropped everything to help me when I revealed my plans for Halloween.

I asked to see some brunette wigs, but they insisted that I go blonde. As they say, “the customer is always wrong,” so I purchased the blonde wig you see in the photo.

I don’t recall where I purchased the dress, heels, hosiery or unmentionables. I also don’t recall what unmentionables I wore, nor what jewelry I wore.

I borrowed my wife’s makeup, did my face, got dressed and we headed out the night of the party. On arrival, I shocked everyone. One pretty cat woman, who I did not know, asked me, “Are you a guy?” And that was the highlight of the evening for me!

Word got around at work on Monday and one of my wise guy co-workers asked, “Do you like boys?”

I retorted, “Why? Do you want a date?”

And so it goes!

Wearing Boston Proper

Bill Kaulitz

But what about the girdle?

Wearing Boston Proper

Nigerian femulator JP Blush

The Great Purge of 1983

I started femulating regularly around the age of 12. Whenever I was home alone, I would experiment with my mother's and sister's wardrobes and cosmetics. 

Soon, I began building my own female wardrobe. Initially, I collected discarded clothing or sewed my own (simple A-line miniskirts) using remnants that my mother had in her sewing nook. 

The first item of female clothing that I purchased were three pairs of nylon stockings. I went to the hosiery store downtown and told the saleswoman that I was buying stockings as a gift for my tall girlfriend. The saleswoman did not bat an eye and I scored my first purchase of female finery with ease. 

After that successful shopping trip, I used my tall girlfriend excuse to expand my wardrobe. And whenever Halloween was on the horizon, I could use that holiday as an excuse to try on and buy wigs, dresses, shoes and foundation garments. 

In addition to building a wardrobe, I clipped femulation-related items from newspapers and magazines. I also had a couple of books including the eye-opening A Year Among the Girls by Darryl Radnor and a couple of issues of Drag magazine. And there was also my collection of Polaroids, which documented my progress aboard the Good Ship Lollipop. 

I stored everything in boxes hidden behind boxes containing my American Flyer train set, all stored behind the false back panel of a built-in bookcase in my bedroom. 

Due to that limited storage space, I occasionally whittled down my collection – out with the old to make room for the new – but I never purged everything while I was actively femulating. I loved being a girl, so there was no desire to purge. 

Fast-forward to 1983. 

I had been dating my future wife for over two years and during that time, I stopped femulating. I had no desire to femulate and I bought into the old wives’/husbands’ tale that when a femulator got married, he stopped femulating. 

Realize that there was little information available to vent that tale. There was no Internet as we know it today and the serious literature on the topic was minimal and hard to find in my neck of the woods. 

So about two weeks before our wedding, I purged everything. 

One month after our wedding, we were invited to a Halloween party. I femulated for the event (see photo) and bought a new dress, wig, pantyhose, bra, girdle, high heels, etc. for the occasion. I was back on the Good Ship Lollipop and never stopped femulating again. 

In retrospect, I so regret the purge. I could replace the wardrobe (which I did), but I could never replace my Polaroids.

Wearing Boston Proper

Thiago Fragoso femulating on Brazilian television’s Sexo Fragil.

Not at All!

Wearing Ann Taylor

Karol Dziuba and Maurycy Popiel femulate Baccara on Polish television’s Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo (Your Face Sounds Familiar). View this femulation on YouTube by clicking here.