Talk Shows: A Femulator’s Lifeline

By Paula Gaikowski

The 1980s was a transformative era for me. During this time, television talk shows became essential sources of information, comfort and offered a sense of belonging. Long before the Internet’s wealth of resources, these shows were my lifeline, connecting me to the world of gender identity.

In the pre-Internet world, my TV Guide was my window to a world that I longed to understand. Each week, I eagerly flipped through its pages noting any talk show listings promising to have crossdressers, transgender women or female impersonators. These shows weren’t just entertainment, they were beacons of hope, providing me with the understanding and validation I yearned for.

Some of favorite 1980s talk shows were Phil Donahue, Oprah Winfrey, Geraldo Rivera, Sally Jessy Raphael and Jenny Jones.

Phil Donahue’s and Oprah Winfrey’s show held a special place in my heart because they frequently featured representatives from organizations that embraced crossdressing. During that period of my life, this felt incredibly relatable.

In contrast, Geraldo Rivera used shock tactics, while Sally Jesse Raphael was known for its transformation makeovers. I can vividly recall the episodes where they selected someone from the audience and make them over as a woman.

Jenny Jones also had its sensational moments, often inviting female impersonators and entertainers, who faced less-than-kind comments from the audience.

As for Jerry Springer, I never really found it appealing. It seemed a bit too coarse and vulgar.

For me, these 1980s talk shows went beyond providing information; they offered recognition and validation. In the quiet of my own space, I’d dress up as if I was a guest on the show in my favorite dress, pantyhose, makeup and heels, I’d settle in and watch the shows creating a brief, but cherished moment of self-acceptance.

As I watched, I felt recognition, even if only for a short while. The discussions and the presence of transgender women, crossdressers and female impersonators on-screen resonated deeply with my experiences. Being acknowledged and validated, even by a television screen, was a powerful and affirming experience that bridged the gap between isolation and community.

The 1980s talk shows, despite their faults, played a fundamental role in giving me information and connection during my struggle with gender identity. They made me feel connected, informed, recognized and validated, even if only temporarily. These shows sparked conversations, broke down stigmas and paved the way for a more accepting and understanding world for individuals in the transgender community. 

It was because of these talk shows that persons outside our community became aware of us. The image that evolved from some of these shows was not always positive, but they opened the closet door and we at last had a voice and were being heard.

Wearing a Bixie

Adolf Dymsza femulating in the 1937 Polish film Niedorajda.
Click here to view the film on YouTube.

Happy Thanksgiving

Wearing Zimmermann

Jeremy Stockwell femulating in the 1970 film Dinah East.

Stuffing

By J.J. Atwell

Thanksgiving Stuffing

Welcome to a special Thanksgiving Stuff-ing column. We have many things to be thankful for. When thinking about Thanksgiving, my thoughts quickly turn to food. And one of my favorite parts of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner is the stuffing. Some people go for bread stuffing. Others for rice dressing. Whatever you use to stuff your bird, I hope you enjoy it this year. 

Stuff-ing? 

But why is this column about Stuff-ing, you ask? It’s because I wanted to take the opportunity to talk about what we crossdressers use to stuff our bras and panties to create a more feminine profile. 

Way back in episode nine, I talked a bit about boob sizes. In subsequent columns, I also talked about shape and how they hang. Today, I thought I’d cover stuff-ing your bra so that the boobs look and feel “real.” 

I suspect that the first time a new crossdresser tries on a bra, they use something convenient to pad the cups. Something like rolled up socks. Yes, they work, but they have drawbacks. They can be lumpy and they really don’t feel real to the touch. They also don’t move like natural breasts. 

Let’s move on then. How about some cotton batten? That certainly eliminates the problem with lumps. But they still don’t feel or move like a natural breast. Same with another substitute: foam rubber. Not quite the right consistently.

Another option that some use is water balloons. Yes, water balloons. They have the advantage of being actually quite close to the consistency of a natural breast which, like much of the human body, is mostly water. Water balloons have the approximate right weight and movement. They do have a drawback of course – the danger of springing a leak!

So what is the JJ’s preferred method? She uses silicone breast forms. They have the right weight and movement. They also warm to body temperature over time. They can be very convincing. 

Some crossdressers use a silicone breast plate to get the appearance of cleavage. While I’ve never tried one, I understand they have a couple of drawbacks. They don’t breathe, so the wearer has to deal with sweat. Also they need to be the right skin shade to blend in at the edges – edges that need to be camouflaged to maintain the illusion. 

Hip-ing?

We crossdressers also often need to pad out our hips and bum to achieve a realistic female profile. What Stuff-ing to use for that? 

Just like breasts, there are several options. Clearly socks or water balloons won’t work because they don’t have the right shape. However, some have had good success with oval foam pads on the side and back inserted into their underwear. There are also padded panties that can be bought from many outlets, which are typically padded with foam rubber. 

The most realistic hip and bum padding seems to be made of silicone and shaped to enhance the hips and wrap around to back to enhance the bum. They feel natural and warm up to body temperature. However, they are surprisingly heavy and require a firm undergarment to hold them in place. Ahhh, the travails of a crossdresser. 

I’ll be back

I hope you enjoyed thinking about Stuffing. I’ll be back next week, but until then I’d welcome comments here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Ramy Brook

Kandi of Kandi’s Land fame, submitted this photo of the ladies attending the 2023 installment of the annual Lake Erie Gala (left to right, there is Melissa, Marissa, Debbie, Alisha, Gina, LynneLee, Sherry and Kandi) 

Suits Him/Her Fine

Wearing Taylor

Buying a bra on Amazon is just not the same!

A now defunct Macy’s ladies’ dressing room, circa 2013

Shopping in the mall en femme are some of my fondest femulating memories. I enjoyed going to the mall en homme, too. 

Friday nights, my friends would meet at the mall and hang out until closing hoping to pick up girls (seldom happened), while Kenny waited for his girlfriend Penny to get off from her job at Sears. That was in my late teens.

Fast forward a half decade found me in the mall trying to get up the courage to enter Frederick’s of Hollywood. After circling the mall a few times, I finally went in and purchased my first bra and wig.

Fast forward another half decade found me getting fitted for a bra in Victoria’s Secret en femme, as well as shopping en femme in Macy’s, JCPenney, Ann Taylor, etc. using the ladies’ dressing rooms to try on my finds without any complaints.

[Just to be safe, whenever I wanted to use the ladies’ dressing room, I always played dumb and asked a store employee where the dressing rooms were located. They always directed me to the ladies’ dressing room, so I was home free in case a civilian complained (that never happened).]

Have you been to a mall lately? 

All the malls I shopped en femme regularly are dying or dead. If you want to get depressed, go to YouTube, search on “dead malls” and see if your fave mall shows up. If it does, watch the video and take a tour – it is very sad.

I miss my old malls. Buying a bra on Amazon is just not the same!

The Barbie look

Peter Sellers femulating in a deleted scene from the 1962 film Lolita.

Following His High Heeled Footsteps

Wearing Paige

Vesna Prague

Still Fab

The Beatles released a new song and two remixed/remastered albums last week. As a huge Beatles fan, I created the above image to commemorate the new releases. Rock on!

Wearing Venus

Dylan is a blue-eyed Taurus whose dream is to become a supermodel. Dylan loves vintage fashion -- especially from the '60s, '70s and '80s. Dylan is a proud transgender who also enjoys writing and creating music.  (Source: Toronto Sun. Suggested by Karen)

The Only Thing Certain in Life is Change

By Tami Knight

As I look back on my decades presenting as Tami, it is remarkable how much easier every aspect of my lifestyle is today from just 20 years ago. Most telling is when I am out and about in ‘drab,’ how accepting and even welcoming the retail world is to my interests all things feminine.

My small size and long hair helps cue anyone I interact with. Either way, any makeup counter any of us might approach is happy to help. I have never strolled into a women’s shop and asked about a top, shoes or whatever, without an enthusiastic response to help. I have a good feeling that often (again when in drab), that many women in retail think it is fun to see me try their product.

When shopping many years ago at the mall in Phoenix, I walked into a Rebecca Taylor store.  I wasn’t familiar with that designer and had to look. Rebecca Taylor clothes were on the romantic, flowy and very feminine. The young lady (Jennifer), working there was happy to show me things she thought a somewhat feminine male might enjoy wearing. 

I bought a top and started a friendship with this her. Jennifer went as far as to ship me other tops and dresses several times simply to try and keep or return. We stayed in touch for a couple years until she moved on to work at Joie.

I have and you may as well experienced this: Just weeks ago, I was shopping at a J. McLaughlin store as Tami. The two women who work there know me well as Tami. I tried on a black dress and then a brown leather sheath. Each time I stepped out of the dressing room to stand at the three-way mirror, another customer only away and compliments the fit of both dresses. 

“It looks as good from the back as from the front,” she said.  

I assumed this customer guessed I was trans or maybe not, but the ease and acceptance today is worlds apart from 20 years ago. This is not to say that one’s ambiguity quotient will always be ignored. It is important to have reasonable expectations, and one’s sincerity about our interests is equally important.  

All in all, the free market and good business practices, works in our favor.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Sans Wig

Wearing L'Agence

Johnny Weir femulated Lady Gaga on television’s Lip Sync Battle.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Stuff 18

By J.J. Atwell

More Stuff

Wow, 18 installments of my Stuff! I find it hard to believe that there is this much stuff to write about. 

Today’s comments sprung to mind as I was preparing to go out. There I am, all dressed and made up. Ready to go out the door only to realize that I have no pockets to put my stuff in. What to do? Why, put it in a bag, of course!

What’s in your bag?

A woman basically carries her life in her bag. I say bag but you might also hear it referred to as a “pocket book,” “purse” or a “handbag.” Maybe even a clutch. For purposes of this installment, though, I’ll call it a bag. 

When I first started going out I wasn’t at all sure what I should carry in my bag. Some things are obvious like money, identification, credit cards and keys. That’s pretty much the same as you would put in your pockets as a guy. But what else might a woman or a crossdresser want to carry in her bag? With help from my GG friends, GiGi and Alicia, I put together a short list:

Lipstick

Hair brush

Perfume

Small mirror

Phone (this might substitute for a mirror)

Small packet of tissues

Hair ties or barette

Glasses/sunglasses?

So, maybe that’s not such a short list. But most of it is necessary for a woman being out in public for any amount of time. Once you start carrying around a bag, you find that stuff expands to fill the amount of available space. Yes, you’ll put more and more things into the bag. Before you know it, you will need a bigger bag!

What Kind of Bag?

Good question. There are so many options for bags to carry, but for most women the decision depends on what they are wearing and where they are going. Color and style of the bag should match the overall look of the clothing. 

If you are just in jeans and a t-shirt, then you might leave the sequined, glittery bag at home and opt for a simple cloth or leather bag. Similarly, if you are getting dressed to the nines then it’s time to bring out the fancy, upscale bag. Again, think about how you are presenting.

The shape of a bag can be termed “north/south” or “east/west,” North/south is a style where the bag is longer than it is wide. It then follows that east/west is a bag that is wider than it is long. Which style you pick is mostly a matter of personal taste. I tend to prefer the north/south style as I think it’s a more slimming look. 

Also, a good tip for safety sake is to carry a bag that closes either with a zipper or a snap. You don’t want to have all your stuff easily seen by anybody. Another plus is a separate interior pocket that zips closed. You’ll also want to be conscious of your bag when you are out. When walking, you might want a crossbody bag and keep it more or less in front of you. When dining out, you can sling the bag over the back of your seat or perhaps on a spare seat next to you. 

I’ll be back

After sorting out what I need to include in my bag, I’ll be back with more stuff. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff!

👠👠👠

Stana’s Two Cents

Having carried a purse for over 50 years, I have to add my two cents about what else to carry in a bag.

A woman’s wallet to hold your money, credit cards, IDs, etc.

A compact that includes a mirror, powder (foundation) and applicator to touch up during a long day out

Eyedrops to get the red out (makeup crumbs can cause eye irritation/redness)

Mascara

Lip liner (if you use lip liner)

Stick-on nails in case you wear them and lose one

Spare hosiery in case you run your nylons

With all that, you’re gonna need a bigger bag! (LOL) I actually include a small zippered bag in the big bag to carry the makeup separately from the rest of the bag’s contents.

Wearing Dress Barn

Womanless Pageant Son and Mom: Yesterday, Today (and Tomorrow?)