Stuff 12

By J.J. Atwell

More Stuff

There seems to be no end to stuff. This is the 12th installment and I’m grateful to Stana and especially those that follow her blog for the feedback that I’ve received.

Trapped

No, not in a maze. But in a rewards program. You know, like frequent flyer miles? But for retail purchases for you in either mode.  

Jennifer belongs to several retail rewards programs and regularly gets coupons or discount offers from them. The programs I belong to are DSW, Soma, Sephora and a few others. So Jennifer’s in-box regularly gets these special offers.  

But I titled this section “Trapped” because that’s just what these offers are designed to do –keep you a loyal customer of that store. Not that this is a bad thing though. Right now I’ve got discount coupons for DSW and Soma burning a hole in my purse. 

Trouble is, Jennifer doesn’t really need anything from those stores right now. Yes, that’s probably hard to believe. After all, what does “need” have to do with shopping?  

There is a certain value in belonging to these programs. If you’ve found a good product/service and want to stick with that retailer it just makes sense to join their club. I always give my femme email address to the women-oriented sites like Soma and Sephora. For others, like DSW, the offers come to my guy address, but often include suggestions for women’s shoes they think I might like. 

I guess I better get this column wrapped up and get on with my shopping for stuff.  

I’ll be back

I’d love to read your comments about how you are trapped. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff!

Wearing Boston Proper

Ladies and genteel men at Eldordo, a glittery nightclub in 1920s Berlin that became a haven for the queer community. Eldorado: Everything the Nazis Hated is a documentary now playing on Netflix that explores the story of the nightclub and the freedoms lost amid Hitler’s rise to power. 

Sunday Funnies

 

Wearing Venus

Terry, Circa 1960

Saturday Satire

 

Wearing Ann Taylor

Martin Weiß femulating in the 2004 German film Agnes and His Brothers.

Just Another Avon Lady

This is a previously posted story of one of my more memorable days out en femme. 

My day started earlier than usual because I had to get up, get en femme and drive to the other end of the state by 10 AM to attend Avon’s “Come Home for the Holidays” show. The show was intended to acquaint us Avon representatives with new products to sell during the holidays. Besides the opportunity to see the new products and hobnob with the other Avon ladies, a $50 gift bag awaited each attendee. How could I resist?

The show took place at the Foxwoods casino, the biggest casino in the USA. Problem is that you can’t get there from here. It is only 70 miles away, but the route is so convoluted that it takes 90 minutes over some bad roads to get there.

I was on the road at 8:20 and the weather was terrible. The Northeast was being deluged again, flash floods and traffic accidents here and there throughout the state, Noah was gathering lumber... not ideal driving under the gun conditions, but I managed to pull into a Foxwoods parking garage at 10 AM on the dot.

I wore my mid-heel Mary Janes, a very comfortable shoe, probably my most comfortable shoe. When I bought the shoe, the salesman said that it sells out quickly because of its reputation as being comfortable, yet it is a nice-looking shoe. Anyway, I needed the comfort because now I had to sprint to the other side of the casino.

The casino is very big and I had to walk about one-third of a mile to get from my parked car to the site of the show, the Grand Pequot Ballroom. I arrived at the Ballroom at about 10:15 along with a huge throng of other Avon representatives. Turns out that they opened the doors at 10 AM, but that the show was continuous all morning long. There was no need to be there at 10 AM on the dot, so I did not have to hurry to get there. C'est la vie.

I joined the throng, which was about 99% female and 1% male and probably 75% of the males were with their spouses, so I assume the wife in these couples was the Avon rep and the male was their supportive husband.

Just about everyone I encountered treated me nicely... as if I belonged. I only noticed one or two in the huge crowd that might have had some transphobia, but that is only my take on them – they just might have been having a bad day or they could not handle crowds.

As far as I can tell, I was just one of the girls. I chatted with a few and everyone I asked, graciously took my photo. I must have made a positive impression because whenever I encountered someone I had chatted with earlier, they acknowledged me with a wave and a smile.

One woman said that she loved my dress (she was also wearing a dress). I'd estimate that about 10% of the women wore dresses or skirts; the rest wore slacks, but almost all the outfits would be considered “business casual” garb.

By the way, I was not the tallest woman in attendance. I counted three that were as tall, if not taller than me. And there were perhaps a dozen six-footers in the crowd. This was the first time I had the opportunity to get up close to my manager and she was tall, too.

I saw a couple of items that I will definitely order for myself (for myself or as gifts). After 90 minutes, I repaired to the ladies’ room to fix my makeup, then I proceeded to the various casinos in the complex to try my luck at the slot machines.

I usually play 25-cent slot machines and I had to search for them because it seems that the penny slot machines are taking over. The first quarter machine I played, I walked away up $20. That was an auspicious start.

The second machine I played, I won 600 quarters ($150) on the third spin! It occurred to me that whenever I play the slots en femme, I am always successful – maybe the gods are trying to tell me something. After that, I held my own and managed to walk away $180 ahead at day’s end. Nice!

I exited the casino at 2:30 PM headed for home.

Wearing Bebe

Paul Gilbert femulating in the 1965 film Sylvia.

Thursday's Toon

 

Wearing Venus

Guillaume de Tonquédec femulating in the 2014 French film Les Nuits d'été (Summer Nights).

My Guilt

JJ’s Stuff about guilt got me thinking about my own guilt.

I was raised as a Roman Catholic. (I was even an altar boy – loved the uniforms). 

No one ever told me that crossdressing was a sin, but our circa-1960 encyclopedia did not speak highly of transvestism and none of the guys I knew crossdressed, so I put two and two together (came up with 5) and figured that crossdressing was a sin. 

That did not stop me from dressing in my mother’s and sister’s wardrobes when I was home alone. I just kept a lid on it because I did not want anyone to know I was sinning. If someone did find out, I would feel shame not guilt.

But people did find out. My Halloween forays en femme during my teens and twenties were revealing, but I told myself they were just innocent Halloween costumes and nobody would suspect I was truly a crossdresser. So I did not feel shame, however, I did feel guilt because it was a big lie.

But people did think I was a crossdresser. For example, my five consecutive office girl Halloween costumes worn at work convinced all doubters about my en femme proclivities. However, none of my co-workers ever confronted me about it, so I assumed that they just thought I was a very good Halloween costumer. 

Wrong! Eventually I discovered that everyone thought I was a crossdresser and I confirmed their thoughts when I showed up en femme at the company Christmas party. So I was no longer a big liar at work and my guilt was gone, at least regarding my co-workers.

And over the years, I gradually reduced my guilt to near zero by coming out to most of my friends, relatives and acquaintances. And it did not hurt a bit. (I can count on one finger the number of friends I lost when they learned about my crossdressing and that loss was due to that friend’s religious beliefs!)

And so goes my guilt.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Singer Jack Vidgen

Tuesday’s Toon

Wearing New York & Company

Alena, a Russian femulator

Stuff 11

By J.J. Atwell

Hello again

It’s JJ again! Yes, there is more Stuff. I’m happy you continue to find this column thought-provoking. Let's get on with it today by talking about guilt and overcoming it.

Do We Have Guilt?

I suspect we (the CD community) have some amount of guilt. What we do is not understood by society in general and that makes us targets. On some level, we know that what we are doing is frowned upon by many. On top of that, we are afraid that if our loved ones find out, they will react badly. So yes, we have guilt. Unless we’ve dealt with it.    

Dealing With Guilt

The only way for us to deal with guilt is to accept ourselves. Yes, that easy. No, actually it’s not that easy. We are talking about years of guilt feelings. They don’t just go away quickly.  

Let’s start by looking at ourselves and why we feel that guilt. Perhaps it’s from childhood or early teen experiences. Maybe that’s the root of our guilt as that’s when our desire to dress in female clothes started to surface. Along with that comes the realization that it is something that is just not done.

Guilt can have real impacts on our health. Guilt causes stress which can affect any and all parts of your body. It can present as weight issues, hypertension, persistent headache, skin rash, sleep problems, digestion and many other things.  

In the end, we have to find a way to convince ourselves that we are not hurting anybody. Once we do that we can lead a healthy life, no matter how we are dressed. As for how do convince ourself of that, sorry, I’m not a medical professional so I’ve got nothing. 

I’ll be back

OK, so I think I’ve given you enough stuff to think about. I hope this installment hasn’t actually increased your stress levels. 

As before, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff!

Wearing JustFab

Clément Sibony femulating in the 2014 French film Les Nuits d'été (Summer Nights)

Someday Funnies

 

Wearing Anna Kay

Danny Aiello femulating in the 1994 film Pret a Porter.