Wearing New York & Company |
Cecil Beaton |
Most people do not think much about their gender. They go about their lives, day-to-day, interacting with their world without considering their gender. They are acclimated to the role that meets society’s expectations for their gender and their lives go on with few, if any any issues related to gender.
On the other hand, some people think about their gender all the time. Thoughts about their gender fill their waking hours. They are not acclimated to the gender role that meets society’s expectations. Everywhere they turn, issues arise that cause conflicts in their mind related to gender.
If you are a regular reader of this blog, you probably are in the latter group of people rather than the former. I know I am.
Gender is on my mind most of the time. When I get dressed in the morning, I often think about how I would prefer donning a female wardrobe rather than a male wardrobe. When I interact with society during my day, I often ask myself, “what would ‘she’ do?” in certain situations and how would society react to “her,” rather than “him.” Even when I am asleep, I cannot get away from it because most of my dreams concern gender issues.
Sometimes, when I find myself thinking about gender, I berate myself because I feel I should be doing something more constructive than thinking about gender. And I wonder how my life would be if I resolved my gender issues, that is, if I lived as a woman 24/7, would all my thoughts and concerns about gender go away? Then would I be able to accomplish more than I am accomplishing now?
I fear that the answer is “no.” Gender would still be on my mind. Some new gender issues would occupy my time and some old gender issues would haunt me.
Such is the lot of a transgender.
I found this image on Pinterest allegedly a photo of a cisgender female and a femulator. There was no other information about this image on Pinterest and I was unable to find anything about it anywhere on the Internet. If anyone has any further info about the image, please speak up. Anyway, I was so impressed by the femulator that I had to post the image here. |
Goddess blessed me with womanly breasts. Since puberty, I could fill a bra – a femulator’s dream come true. On the other hand, I have no rear end to speak of – a femulator’s nightmare.
Over the years, as I tried to perfect my femulation, I thought about doing something about my caboose, but was turned off by an acquaintance who overdid it. I did not want to look ridiculous like she did, so I went without.
On yet another hand, years later I met a lady who had a great figure – not over-the-top like my earlier acquaintance. Her figure was just right and very convincing. That got me thinking about revisiting my rear end (or lack thereof).
I wear a girdle, so I sampled a few that had built-in padding to enhance the derriere. But I rejected them – although they added to my back end, they were lacking in the girdle department losing my narrower waist and wider hips in the process. So I was back to square one.
Perusing the Rago website one day, I noticed that they sold a panty with rear end padding. Known as Rago model 915, I thought that I could wear the 915 over my Rago girdle and have it all – narrower waist, wider hips and bigger buns!
I ordered a Rago 915 and as soon as I got it, I wore it over my girdle and it did the trick! I was very happy and have been wearing the girdle and padded panty combo ever since.
The only thing that the 915 lacks is the “split crotch” that my Rago girdle includes. That is not a big problem because the panty slips on and off easily when it is time to pee.
And so I go.
And by the way, the folks at Rago are aware of girls like us who favor their shapewear and as a result, Rago is now offering a 15% sitewide discount to Femulate fans and readers. Just use the stana15 discount code when you shop at the Rago website. How cool is that!
Wearing Tory Burch |
Perfectly attired femulator out and about |
Most of my life, I knew I was trans-something. In fact, I was trans-something even before I knew all the trans terminology (transvestite, transgender, transsexual, etc.). In fact, I was trans-something before the word “transgender” was created (yes, I am old).
And for a long time, I professed that I was a “plain-vanilla crossdresser,” that is, someone who crossdressed for the joy the of wearing women’s fashions... not someone who crossdressed because they identified as a woman.
Heaven forbid! That wasn't me. I wasn't one of those people!
Despite a lot of evidence to the contrary, I was afraid to make the great leap that I was a woman. That would be a big leap and would rock the foundation of my existence.
In retrospect, I would have probably felt pretty pretty good if I had made that leap way back then, but I worried about what they would think! I always worried about what they would think and I led my life to please them, not me. So I denied all the evidence and stuck to my “plain-vanilla crossdresser” story.
About 15 years ago, after months of counseling, a life coach finally helped me to make that leap. Instead of denying all the evidence, I embraced it and accepted the fact that I was a woman.
Afterall, it all made sense. The feminine speech and mannerisms. The preference for girl things rather than boy things. The gynecomastia caused by an over-abundance of female hormones and/or lack of male hormones. An over-abundance of female hormones.
And I was proud to be a woman, not ashamed of it. I began coming out to my friends and colleagues and I began living authentically whenever the opportunity presented itself.
And it didn't hurt a bit!
Wearing Ann Taylor |
Angela, out and about again |