Someday Funnies: Add It to His To-Do List

Wearing Alice + Olivia

Angela wishing you a Merry Christmas

Dani posing by her Christmas tree.

Yet Another Girl’s Day Out

On Friday, I posted the story about attending my former employer’s Christmas luncheon en femme after I had retired. They invited me back again the following year, so as a follow-up to Friday’s post, I am telling the rest of the story today.   

Thursday (December 20, 2018), I attended my former employer’s Christmas luncheon party.

I wore my Julia Jordan gunmetal fit-and-flare dress, Dress Barn off-black pin-dot tights and Nine West metallic platform pumps. Instead of accessorizing with silver jewelry as I originally planned, my wife suggested I wear something colorful for the holidays, so I wore a red necklace and red earrings.

As I began to fill my old tired-looking black handbag, my daughter gave me an early Christmas present: a red Kate Spade handbag! I was so surprised and happy with her generous gift that I almost started to cry, but I held back my tears so as not to ruin my makeup.

I left the house and drove to the banquet hall hosting the luncheon. Usually I wear my heels when I drive, but the platform pumps are about a half-inch higher than my usual footwear and that half-inch or so made it difficult to manipulate the three pedals under the dashboard, so I wore flats to drive and switched to heels when I arrived at the banquet hall.

I entered the hall and when I checked my coat, the three women staffing the front of the hall said they loved my outfit. One said she wanted to buy shoes like mine.

I found a seat at a table with my former co-workers and it was just like last year’s Christmas luncheon when I wrote, “It was as if I showed up in boy mode.” Folks greeted and chatted with me like old times. The fact that I was presenting as a woman made no difference.

I realize now that it did not matter if I showed up in boy mode or girl mode. Rather, it mattered that I showed up in Stan mode. In a dress or slacks, I am the same person that my former co-workers knew for 20 years and I think most of them were glad to know me just as I was glad to know them.

👠👠👠

All my previous femulations among my co-workers was with blonde hairdos, so when I showed up as a brunette on Thursday, some people did not recognize me.

While standing in line for the buffet, the co-worker in front of me remarked that she had no idea who I was because I looked so different as a brunette. She added that I looked gorgeous as a brunette.

👠👠👠

Although I had a great time celebrating the holidays with my former co-workers, it was also a little depressing to hear the news I missed during the past year. One co-worker’s son committed suicide, another co-worker was diagnosed with colon cancer and the company is being sold (again), which may result in my division disappearing.

👠👠👠

Good news is that I reached my weight loss goal this week. Bad news is that I now have a closet full of shoes that no longer fit. I had no idea that losing weight would result in reducing my shoe size as well as my dress size.

I plan to go through my collection and see what fits and what doesn't fit. Every cloud has a silver lining, so I assume I will also find shoes that were too small six months ago that now fit.

I discovered my shrinking foot problem when I tried on the Nine West metallic platform pumps a few days before wearing them out. They were very loose and after a few steps, I would lose one shoe or the other.

Being a stubborn fashionista, I was determined to wear those shoes with my new dress to the Christmas party, so I inserted heel liners in each shoe. The liners helped and I did not lose a shoe throughout the day, but often I had to clench my foot when it felt like a shoe was not going my way. So they are destined for the “do not fit” division of my shoe wardrobe.

By the way, I have not been invited back again to my former employer’s Christmas luncheons. It is probably due to my losing touch with my former co-workers, as well as management changes after the company was sold.

Wearing New York & Company

Cyrsti (left) at Christmas dinner with her wife Liz.
Cyrsti blogs at Cyrsti’s Condo.

Paula Gaikowski toasts to Happy New Year.

Someday Funnies: Feckless Father

Wearing Veronica Beard

Allison James sending Holiday Greetings to all!

Joey at a dermatologist appointment. Joey blogs at Joeypress.

Holiday Photo Glut

The response to my invitation to submit your holiday photo for publication in the Femulator spot below has been overwhelming. So much so that I would not be able to finish posting all the received photos until after the holidays were over. To correct that problem, beginning with today’s post, I will post two holiday photos each day so that all your photos will appear in a timely holiday manner.

Happy Holidays!

Wearing New York & Company

Kerri in her LBD.

Rachel at Sidetracks in Chicago in December 2020 wearing a gorgeous honey blonde wig, an LBD, full makeup and jewelry, nails, 3-inch heels and fur jacket. (Not bad for 70 years old!)

Girl’s Day Out

I retired in the summer of 2017, but the folks at my old salt mine invited me back for the company’s Christmas party luncheon. After five consecutive appearances en femme at work on Halloween, I assumed some of my co-workers figured that I was gender variant, so I decided to attend the luncheon en femme and confirm any thoughts that my co-workers had concerning my gender. So hop on the wayback machine and read the post I wrote all about that day five years ago .   

Tuesday, this girl went out for the day.

After I did my face and my hair and slipped into my undies, I had second thoughts about the outfit I had put together on Monday and began formulating Plan B.

Hanging in my closet was a hunter green lace dress that I wore to my support group’s Christmas party about 25 years ago. It was dressy, not over the top and very suitable for an office Christmas luncheon. I slipped it on and discovered that the lining was falling apart (strike one), the zipper was not working properly (strike two) and it looked like an old dress (strike three). I literally threw it away and went back to Plan A.

After I put on “the outfit,” I realized it would have been a mistake if I had not worn it. It made me feel like a million bucks and a few years younger.

The weather was unseasonably warm (in the low 50’s), so I was able to wear my blue trench coat instead of a heavy winter coat. Perfect – because the trench coat grazed my knees. Although I was very comfortable wearing “the outfit” to the luncheon, I was less comfortable wearing it around the mall and my trench coat would hide “the outfit” while I went shopping before the luncheon.

First stop was the nail salon in the Waterbury mall to buy a gift certificate for my daughter. In the past, I avoided that mall, as well as all the other stores in Waterbury because I spent the first half of my life in Waterbury and I did not want to run into anyone I knew from my male life.

I realize that even if I did run into an acquaintance, they probably would not recognize me, but they might recognize my wheels. My license plate displays my ham radio callsign, so anyone who knows my call (most of my family and friends) might wonder who was the blond driving my car.

But I don’t give a damn anymore. If I ran into an old friend or acquaintance, I would say “Hello” rather than run away. Then I  could cross another person off my Coming Out To Do List.

So I went to the mall, found the nail salon, purchased a gift certificate and no one batted an eye. And I did not run into an old friend or acquaintance.

I did not browse the mall because time was of the essence and I had two more stops to make before going to the luncheon.

I drove to Big Lots in Wallingford (the city where I was formerly employed and where the luncheon was being held) to purchase CD/DVD jewel cases. Big Lots has the best price for jewel cases (25 for $5) and since the store was on the way to the luncheon, I stopped by to stock up.

I picked up two packages of jewel cases and went to the cashier to pay up. The cashier was a 20-something fellow and I think he was flustered by my presence. Instead of spouting out the usual, “Were you able to find everything you wanted?,” he said something that I did not understand, so I asked, “What did you say?”

He replied, “I meant to say ‘Were you able to find everything you wanted?’”

I don’t know if he was flustered because I was a crossdresser or a ravishing beauty or a ravishing crossdresser. Whatever... I was amused as he settled down and handled the rest of the transaction in a professional and pleasant manner.

I have my car serviced at the dealer where I bought it in Wallingford. Whenever I have my car serviced, the dealer always gives me a coupon for a free car wash. So after Big Lots, I went to the car wash to use a coupon.

There is only a brief encounter with a human being (to turn in the coupon), so I did not expect any issues and there were none, although the human being I dealt with is the same guy who I have encountered during past car cleansing. Evidently, he did not recognize me, my car or my license plate.

It was now high noon. I was five minutes away from the luncheon location, so I would be fashionably late.

I arrived at the banquet hall, parked my car and as I walked to the entrance, I encountered Jackie, who was also on her way into the hall. I confessed to her that I was nervous and she said I had nothing to be nervous about, but that did not comfort me much.

I entered the hall and almost every seat was full and the contents of every full seat looked up as I removed my trench coat and revealed “the outfit.” There was a definite buzz in the air. Rick, the fellow who organized the luncheon greeted me and pointed out the empty seats that were available. I was always on very good terms with Rick, so I took the empty seat next to him at his table.

I was the only woman at that table, but I had worked with all the guys at the table for years. In fact, I worked with one fellow at two previous places of employment, so we have known each other for over 30 years. The other fellows were always supportive when I dressed en femme at work for Halloween, so I felt comfortable with the group. As I settled in, one of guys offered to buy me a drink (“A glass of pineau, please”). That never happened when I attended past Christmas luncheons en homme!

One hyphenated word described the luncheon: anti-climatic.

It was as if I showed up in boy mode. Except for Jackie, who said she loved my skirt, no one mentioned “the outfit” or the fact that I was presenting as a woman. Everyone called me “Stan” and socialized with me as they always had in the past.

I was seated at the first table in the room, so everyone had to pass by me to get to the bar and the food. About half the attendees greeted me in one way or another — waving, shaking my hand, giving me a hug, asking me how I like retirement, etc. Folks I have known for a long time stopped by and spent a longer time conversing with me.

A few co-workers confirmed my suspicion that they suspected I was transgender, so it is likely that most of my co-workers shared the same thought. I guess being transgender did not make a difference.

What a great bunch of people I worked with!

Wearing New York & Company

Sister blogger Paula Goodwin glammed up for her support group Christmas party.

Someday Funnies: Bobbseys’ Beauty Boutique

Wearing Venus

Deedee Poitevin celebrating Christmas in a dress she made herself!

Facebook is Indeed Anti-Trans!

By Kandi Robbins

Kandi

I am a 61-year-old transwoman. Like many of you, legally I am male, but essentially, I am a woman. Life’s circumstances prevent me from going any further than this. As such, I have sought to build a female life that brings me pleasure and peace. I have become a serial volunteer all around Cleveland, working for The Cleveland Museum of Art, the Arthritis Foundation, the American Heart Association, the Diversity Center of Northern Ohio and this evening, I will be working one of the principal fundraisers for the Providence House. Providence House provides much needed crisis nursery services for those in desperate need in our area. There are many other places I work as well.

My mission in life is to demonstrate that we can live in the mainstream as women, even though we are unable to go down the difficult road to transition due to the circumstances of our lives.

I have also been able to work actively as a model and an actress as Kandi. I am Kandi.

I reluctantly started a Facebook account about a year ago as it was the principal means of networking within the communities mentioned above. I do have a male Facebook account. It is principally inactive and was only established to belong to a certain group I am in. I rarely use it.

My fear in setting up Kandi’s Facebook account was that Mark Zuckerberg and his algorithm would out me, possibly costing me my job and potentially creating issues for my family that they do not deserve. So when I set up Kandi’s account, I used a nearby suburb as my location (not my actual location) and selected a different birthday because I feared by accessing either account from the same location (our home), Facebook would cross-pollinate the two. In the meantime, I have built significant contacts through my cross pollinate account that are quite valuable to me.

Fast forward to December 9, 2022, and someone hacked my account. Facebook locked it down to “protect” me. And they will not unlock it without a legal form of ID. Kandi, legally, is not a person, so legally, she has no identification. I have tried on numerous occasions to submit my driver’s license with an explanation. I have done the same from my male Facebook account.  

I have sent numerous emails to Facebook to various email addresses I could find online. I have tried calling. I have provided my legal male information alongside my female information, at great discomfort to me. Bottom line, they will not offer me (nor anyone else) the ability to contact them. They simply reject my submission time after time with no explanation or other option to prove who I am. A more arrogant organization does not exist.

Any of their “help” can only be accessed as a member and being locked out, I have no access. (Catch 22)

There are millions and millions of us on Facebook with the same potential situation. If I did not have so much invested in these contacts, I would simply walk away and continue to distain Facebook for the scourge that it is.  

Facebook has locked me out simply because I am transgender. At least that is how I see it.

If you can offer any suggestions, you can reach me through my blog, Kandi’s Land, listed on the right side of Femulate’s screen. Thank you.

For further reading, Femulate has addressed this issue in the past, notably here, here and here.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Pamela Ray Christmas shopping at Locationan outlet centre in Perth, Western Australia.

Someday Funnies: Snow on His Parade

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Carolyn, wearing her trademark golden age outfit in Southport, Lancashire, North West England.

Mondays

Mondays have a bad reputation. To counteract Mondays’ notoriety, I invite you to view this remarkable Christmas-themed commercial from J&B. (Thank you Anna María for alerting me to this ad.)

Wearing Rue La La

Leslie Langford sighs, “I wish I had a Christmas party to go to where I could wear this dress. I think it really suits me.” (Yes, it does, Leslie!)

Someday Funnies: Happy Holidays!

Wearing Ann Taylor

Fernanda del Mar Moreno Avalos in the main square of Mexico City (Zócalo or Plaza de la Constitución).