Let's be careful out there

Going out among civilians as a woman is very different than going out among civilians as a guy.

As a guy, I seldom was concerned about being out among strangers. I go where I want to go without a worry. I am big (6 foot 2, 185 pounds) and people are more likely to be fearful of me than I of them. So I have my size going for me as a guy. Yet, it is not something I have on my mind when I go out; it is just a fact. 

As a woman, I feel that I am a target. Not so much if I am walking the mall or visiting a museum. But when I am out on the street, in a parking garage or in a strange place, I am very aware that I am a potential target of someone snatching my purse or much worse. 

I learned my lesson many years ago. After a support group meeting, a bunch of girls decided to go to a gay bar. Leaving the meeting hall around 9 PM, I followed a trail of cars to a dark, unfamiliar neighborhood where the bar was located. There was only on-street parking, nothing available near the bar, so I had to park two blocks away. Another girl parked nearby and we walked the two blocks together.

I did not enjoy my visit to the bar primarily because the air was thick with cigarette smoke and I left after one drink. Walking back to my car alone, I had someone following me: a guy who was shouting at me wanting to know if I was in the bar’s drag show.

I ignored the guy and ran as fast as my high heels would let me. After one block, the guy gave up the chase and I made it to my car safely and a lot wiser. In retrospect, I should have asked the bar’s bouncer to escort me to my car or I should have waited until one of my friends was leaving and accompany her to our cars. Either way, I never put myself in such a precarious position again.

The Desota County (FL) Sheriff’s Office has a list of tips for women on staying safe.

• Be Alert! Scan the area as you walk. Be aware of your surroundings and walk with confidence.

• Avoid shopping alone. Try to shop with a friend or relative.

• Know your surroundings. Keep an eye on the people in front of you as well as behind you.

• Carry your purse close to your body and do not leave it unattended. 

• Try not to carry too many packages. Place all packages out of sight in your vehicle, preferably in the trunk.

• Park your vehicle in a well-lighted area. Even in daylight hours, you may want to park near a light pole so if you leave when it is darker, your car will be in a well-lit location.

• Approach your vehicle with your keys already in your hand. Keep your vehicle doors locked and your windows shut.  Look around, under and in your car, especially the back seat, before you get in.

• When leaving a business late at night, (if available) ask a security guard to walk you to your car. Do not go up to just any security guard. Go directly to the kiosk and ask for them to assign an officer to escort you. Predators sometimes dress up to resemble security or other authority figures.

Those are the first eight tips from the Sheriff’s Office. Click here to view all the tips.

And let’s be careful out there.

Wearing Venus

Gale Gordon, Richard Crenna and Robert Rockwell femulating on a 1953 episode of television’s Our Miss Brooks. Thank you, Meg for the information about this femulation.

Done That

Diana’s post on Wednesday reminded me that Tuesday was National Coming Out Day. 

I missed another one! 

It is not an entry on my calendar because I don’t have to worry about coming out any longer. I am out to just about everyone I know (and don’t know). The only stragglers are some aunts and first cousins and the Internet savvy ones probably know if they ever Googled our last name because my “secret identity” comes up in the Google search results. (Note to cousins: You can tell me you know. I won‘t be embarrassed.)

C'est la vie!

One truth I discovered when coming out is that you are likely to have better reactions if you do it yourself rather than via a second party. I have come out to hundreds of people and have had no negative reactions (to my face – who knows what goes on behind my back?) The worst reaction was from an old friend who remarked, “Why would anyone choose to be a woman?”

When you use an intermediary, the reactions may not be so positive. My wife did a lot of the coming out to her family and friends. As a result, one long-time girlfriend ended her relationship with my wife over it. My in-laws, in general, were not supportive (oddly, the wife of my very non-supportive brother-in-law was very supportive). 

If I came out to them myself, I wonder if their reactions would have been better?

I was not always so free about revealing my secret identity. In the past, I took baby steps when I came out, carefully picking and choosing the people I considered coming out to and mulling over whether to do it or not.

Early on, I only came out to females – never to males. It was easy to come out to females because I was telling them that I am on their team. Men were not so easy. Just encountering men when I was en femme used to give me pause; coming out to a man was unthinkable. But I finally reached a point when I had to come out to males.

When I decided to attend a ham radio convention as a woman, I felt obligated to inform the officers and directors of the organization whose booth I would be staffing at the convention (I was an officer and director myself). 

I composed a coming out letter. That was the easy part. Sending it was the hard part.

I recall copying that letter into the text of an email, adding all the email addresses into the To: field and then hesitating to click on the Send button for hours... over three hours. 

I finally realized that my hesitancy was ridiculous – I had to come out to these people or chuck my plans to attend the convention as a woman. So I clicked on the Send button and waited for the reaction.

The response was anti-climatic. I received 100% support from the people who received my email. Not a discouraging word was heard.

And so it goes.

Wearing Venus

Greg Kean femulating in a 1993 episode of television’s Designing Women.

Someday Funnies

Wearing New York & Company

Modern senior couple

Someday Funnies: She’s the Boss

Wearing Sea

A must-see music video for femulators, I’m The One by Morten Harket.
See it on YouTube and thank you, Allison, for informing me about it.
See the colorized version on Vimeo. Thank you Aunty for the heads-up. 

Face Time

Romney asked, “What's an expedient routine for us who are not ‘out’ daily, but wish to participate? Could you outline for us a practical and uncomplicated means for maintaining a smooth complexion? How does one overcome the abuse of daily shaving and accommodate the desire to be presentable when there is the rare makeup opportunity?”

Shaving your face is actually a good thing (as long as you don’t cut yourself). It is an exfoliant that removes hair, debris, excess oil and dead skin cells, which brightens the look of your skin and helps makeup go on smoothly and last longer.

I use a Gillette Fusion razor with a shaving gel (all links go to Amazon.com). The multiple blades in the Fusion provide a very close shave. Also, I shave in the shower. The steam and heat in the shower open your pores and soften your hair, making it an ideal environment for a close shave. 

I shave in the morning, remain clean shaven most of the day and only require a touch-up with a Philips Norelco electric razor if I will continue en femme through the evening. Using an electric razor avoids having to redo your makeup from scratch if you use a manual razor for touching up your beard and also avoids getting a razor burn. (Your mileage may vary depending on your beard’s behavior.) No matter how you shave, shaving dries out your skin, so it is a good idea to moisturize your face after a shave.

Like the old Maybelline advertisement stated, “Maybe she was born with it!”

To some extent, I was born with it. Whenever I received makeovers in the past, the makeup artist often remarked how I had an excellent complexion.

During one makeover, I asked Hollywood makeup artist Jim Bridges, which actresses he had worked with and he rattled off a few names. Then I mentioned that I thought Jaclyn Smith was one of the most beautiful women among the current crop of stars (circa 1985) and he responded that he had done Jaclyn’s makeup a few times and that she had lousy skin that required a lot of work! After bursting my balloon, he patched it up by adding that I had better skin than Jaclyn Smith!

Being an Avon lady, I occasionally receive free samples. About 20 years ago, I received a free sample of a product to deal with wrinkles around the eyes. Looking in the mirror at the wrinkles developing around my eyes, I decided to try the free sample.

After a week or so, the wrinkles were less noticeable. After a few weeks, I had to examine my eyes closely to find the wrinkles. So, I was sold on the eye cream and currently use Avon Anew Clinical Eye Lift Pro Dual Eye System every morning.

I also moisturize my face and neck in the morning using Olay Complete All Day Moisturizer. After many, many years of shunning skin care, I began using a moisturizer after my success with eye cream and it made a huge difference. My skin is smoother, more supple, healthier-looking and my makeup goes on easier, looks better and stays on longer. 

Avon Solutions Dramatic Firming Cream is a miracle product, in my opinion.

I have sun damage on the sides of my neck. All of the foundations I have used only cover the damage temporarily and sooner or later (usually sooner), the red skin shows through.

Perusing the Avon catalog one day, their Dramatic Firming Cream caught my eye and I bought a tub to try on my neck. Using it daily for a few weeks, I noticed some improvement – the redness was less red. Using it daily for a few months, the redness is gone! Wow! Like I wrote above, it is a miracle product.

One more thing: I have never smoked in all my 71 years and I seldom drink alcoholic beverages (I probably average less than one glass of beer per month). I am sure that has contributed to my healthy complexion and enhanced my ability to femulate.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Vittorio Gassman femulating in the 1963 French-Italian film The Monsters.

Someday Funnies: Who’s the Boss?

Wearing Alexia Admor

Savannah Jackson, elevator selfie

Someday Funnies

Wearing A.L.C.

Gurl Friends Forever

Future Dressing Redux

I don’t get out much. First, it was the pandemic, then some health issues, then I became a housewife, which included being caretaker for my spouse. So I was a little surprised when I discovered that out in the world males using makeup and wearing feminine clothing was more prevalent than I imagined. 

This revelation occurred while watching a British reality program called 100% Hotter in which men and women off the street receive makeovers. There were mostly women in the episodes that I watched, but the few males that appeared on the show all used makeup to one degree or another and all borrowed clothing from milady’s closet.

This got me thinking about a blog post I wrote (“Future Dressing”) back in 2014 and reposted in 2018, in which I predicted what men will be wearing 25 years into the future. I decided to revisit my predictions which are now only 17 years into the future. But before I do that, I want to briefly revisit the past for those readers who pooh-poohed my predictions.

Go back to 1962. Who in 1962 would have predicted that 60 years in the future, men would: 

• Use makeup

• Remove all body hair

• Use perfume (or “colognes” as the manly men prefer to call it)

• Go to salons (and abandon barber shops) for their hair needs (styling, coloring, etc.)

• Wear purses, jewelry, shapewear and undies in a variety of colors, styles, and fabrics

• Stay at home to perform housekeeping tasks, while their wives were breadwinning

• And on and on and on... You’ve come a long way, baby! (I hesitate to use the word “feminization,” but what would you call it?)

So, what will life be like for us in 17 years?

It will be completely acceptable for males to dress however they please. Just as it is acceptable for females to wear male clothing today, it will be acceptable for males to wear female clothing in 2043. (There are a reasons for this that I will address in a future post.)  

There will be different degrees of how males adopt womenswear. At one end of the spectrum are guys who may on occasion wear a macho skirt, a manly pair of high heels and a little foundation, while at the other end of the spectrum will be the femboys (you know who you are), who will dress in womenswear all of the time from head to open toe pumps. And nobody will hassle anyone for what they wear except maybe scolding those gentle men wearing white frocks after Labor Day.

There will no longer be women’s and men’s restrooms; there will just be restrooms.

Clothing stores will no longer segregate their wares between women and men or girls and boys. Instead, the stores will have adult, young adult, and children’s clothing departments.

Sex reassignment surgery (SRS) will be very common in 17 years because folks will be able to get SRS on demand just like cosmetic surgery can be had on demand today. Folks with and without gender dysphoria will be able to change genders and the results will be more satisfactory because of advances in the surgical procedures.

All health insurance plans will cover gender-related procedures, either as basic coverage or as an option like some plans offer vision and dental coverage as an add-on expense today. For example, if you were contemplating SRS, you could opt for gender coverage and it would not be an expensive add-on because the procedure will be so common in 17 years.

By 2043, you will be able to live in whatever gender role you prefer. When someone asks a child, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” the anticipated answer will be “girl” or “boy” and not a career choice. Females can be as macho as they want to be and males can be as feminine as they want to be.

What a wonderful world it will be!

Wearing Boston Proper

Prom-bound sister and brother

Someday Funnies: The family that primps together stays together

Wearing Bebe

Phil Silvers femulating on television’s The Phil Silvers Show (1958). See it on YouTube.
Thank you, Meg for the information about this femulation.

Kill yourself you tranny faggot

“Kill yourself you tranny faggot” was the contents of an anonymous comment I received the other day. I seldom receive comments like that, but when I do, they typically come from anonymous sources, who do not have the guts to stand behind their words.

I’ve been called worse to my face, so it does not bother me.

In fact, I find it a little amusing that a gutless coward is slipping into their anonymous big girl panties to find the nerve to call me a “faggot.”

I also find it sad that comments like that represent the feelings of some civilians out there, who are literally trying to kill us (dial up my good friend Diana’s blog any day of the week to see what I mean).

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Wearing New York & Company

Charley Chase (right) femulating in the 1934 film Four Parts.

Someday Funnies: Wigs 4 Us

Wearing Joie

Michigan males and females crossdressing in the early 20th Century.