Someday Funnies: "Girls" in Gowns

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Mature femulators competing in a womanless beauty pageant

Accentuate, Accentuate, Accentuate

Mary Jo put on his high heels and then checked himself out in his full-length mirror. In his new skirt suit, he thought he looked more than adequate for his job as weather girl at Channel 6. His mascara accentuated his big green eyes, his lipstick accentuated his pouty lips, his bralette accentuated his boy boobs and his heels accentuated his shapely legs. 

As the the weather girl at Channel 6, accentuating his appearance was more important than knowing which way the wind blows. That is the case with most gainfully-employed boys these days – they are “eye candy.” Whether they worked reception or were weather or traffic girls at a local television station, how they looked was more important than what they knew.

Alice stopped typing. He had to get ready for work and would have to continue writing his online story this evening. 

Alice was the author of the popular “Mary Jo Series” – the adventures of a working boy in a woman’s world – stories which were aimed at young males trying to demonstrate that there were other options for boys besides being brides and housewives. 

His last Mary Jo story, “Mary Jo: Airline Stewardess,” was a big hit and he hoped that his next story, “Mary Jo: Weather Girl,” would be just as successful. But there was no time for that now because he had to go to work.

Alice put on his high heels and then checked himself out in his full-length mirror. In his new skirt suit, he thought he looked more than adequate for his job as receptionist at Channel 6. His mascara accentuated his big green eyes, his lipstick accentuated his pouty lips, his bralette accentuated his boy boobs and his heels accentuated his shapely legs.

And so it goes.

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Divine (third from left) femulating in the 1988 film Hairspray.

Someday Funnies: Men at the Salon

Wearing Ted Baker

Six femulators in period costumes.

Breasts and Bras

Alison sent me a link to an article about breasts, the variety of their shape and the best and worst bras for each shape.

I was surprised by how many breast shapes there are. Turns out that mine are Full Bottom and accordingly, I should wear a shelf bra, which “is a type of either demi-cup or three-quarter-cup bra that lifts breasts in order to enhance their appearance, shape, and cleavage.” 

If I wear something that would reveal cleavage, I insert a pair of enhancers in each bra cup to give my cleavage a little oomph. But most of the time, I go au naturel.

Note that if you wear falsies and want to use the breast shape article for bra-shopping guidance, go by the shape of your falsies and not your God-given endowments.

And may the falsies be with you.

Wearing Bebe

Femulate reader Mousse

Someday Funnies: Happy Mother’s Day

You should have been a girl!

“You should have been a girl!” is a statement my mother made to me a number of times while I was growing up. Usually she made it after complementing my shapely girlish legs. Or on other occasions, when she mentioned that I “walked like a girl” (on my tiptoes).

To compound my gender confusion, whenever she took my sister and I out on her shopping trips, she insisted that I use the ladies’ room when nature called. I don’t recall if I stood or sat to pee, but I used the ladies’ room until I was 10 or 11 years old.

Then there was my introduction to makeup.

I was probably between the ages of 7 and 10 and for a day or two, I got the notion that I wanted to be a circus clown when I grew up. I remember I was home with my mother and I covered my face with my mother’s cold cream to simulate a clown’s white face. Then I added lipstick. What a mess!

I showed my handiwork to my mother and she volunteered to do a better job. She removed my handiwork and started anew applying various cosmetics to my face.

When she was done, I looked in the mirror and was shocked. Instead of looking like a clown, I looked like a girl!

In retrospect, I am not sure if she realized what I was trying to do. I do not recall if I was clear about trying to be a circus clown. She may have thought I was trying to be a girl and acted accordingly.

I suspect that later, when I began exploring femininity, she would have been very willing to assist me, but I never asked for her help or revealed my desires even when she prompted me with, “Is there anything you want to tell me?”’

In retrospect, I realize she knew (mothers always know) after finding my hidden stash of girly things and learning about my Halloween excursions en femme, but I was too closeted to tell her the truth that I really was her daughter, not her son.

Anyway, Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

Wearing Ramy Brook

Katherine Cummings femulating at Casa Susanna in the 1960’s

Someday Funnies: Dressing with Winnie Winkle

“Winnie Winkle is an American comic strip published during a 76-year span (1920–1996). Its premise was conceived by Joseph Medill Patterson, but the stories and artwork were by Martin Branner, who wrote the strip for over 40 years. It was one of the first comic strips about working women. The main character was a young woman who had to support her parents and adopted brother, serving as a reflection of the changing role of women in society.” (Source: Wikipedia)

I am a fan of classic comic strips and comic books and own a large collection of books on the subject including one that has a selection of strips from Winnie Winkle’s run. 

Revisiting the book, I found a series of Winnie Winkle strips from April 1933 in which Winnie causes a commotion by purchasing and wearing a woman’s trouser suit. I offer the April 3rd and 6th strips from that series for your enjoyment.

Wearing New York & Company

Candy Darling, femulator extraordinaire, with And Wahol and Ultra Violet

Hope for the best

Go out en femme and hope for the best. That is my attitude. Pass or not, I just want to go out and be the best woman I can be. I cannot control how people will react, so forget about it and just enjoy and embrace being out and about en femme. And let the chips fall where they may.

But, sometimes people react in ways that affirm your womanhood and your “hope for the best” becomes reality.

One of those realities occurred over dinner when I attended Fantasia Fair. I was chatting with two new trans friends and we were discussing passing.

During our discussion, I mentioned how I always thought my voice gave me away. They retorted that my voice was perfect. And then they added that at the orientation brunch where they saw me for the first time, they thought I was the spouse of another attendee, that is, they thought I was a cisgender female!

Convincing another transwoman that you are cisgender female is remarkable, but convincing two transwomen simultaneously is even better! 

Convincing a cisgender female is affirming, too.

Out shopping one day, I was wearing white shorts, a multi-colored top, pink scarf, black bag and white wedges (see photo). As I was looking through the racks at JCPenney, a middle-aged woman (probably younger than me) approached me and asked, “Can I ask you a question?”

I had no idea what she was going to ask (“What time is it?” “Where did you buy your shoes?” “Are you a man?”). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

“You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying.”

Wow! I certainly did not see that coming!

We discussed the merits of the slacks. I did not like what she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like what she had picked out and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind and her eyes lit up as she said, “I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help.”

“Good luck,” I said.

Then I took a deep breath.

“Oh, my God!” I screamed to myself. 

Wearing Cult Gaia

Darrell Raynor was the author of A Year Among the Girls, which documented the weekend femulators who gathered in an upstate New York B&B to be girls unimpeded by mid-20th Century society. Published in 1968, it opened my eyes to the world of femulating (that I was not alone) and revealed to me its possibilities. 

Someday Funnies

Wearing Alice + Olivia

Femulating in Soho London

Progress

Saturday, I had about ten attendees for my presentation at the virtual Transgender Lives Conference. 

It was such a beautiful spring day that is was a shame that the conference wasn’t live on the beautiful grounds of the UConn Health Center, its normal live venue, But wait ’til next year – the conference will be live in 2023 as long as the plague doesn’t get out of hand again.

Naturally, I got dressed up for the conference. I just wore a little old something from Calvin Klein that I found in my closet. The good news is that I wore 3.5-inch heels throughout the day and I was none the worse for wear. Therapy, exercise, cherry juice and glucosamine seem to be working and I am now painless most of the time.

I am very happy with my recovery so far. A month ago, I never thought I would walk in heels again. It has been a long road back and now I am looking forward to getting out again and again. 

I am surrounded by museums and art galleries, so I am considering volunteering at one of these venues if they’ll have me. A regular gig en femme would be a dream come true and a great way to do something during my retirement besides hanging  around the house watching Let’s Make a Deal, The Price is Right and reruns of The Office.

Wearing New York & Company

Audrius Janonis (center) femulates Irūna Puzaraitė on Lithuanian television’s Muzikinė kaukė.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.