Someday Funnies

Wearing New York & Company

Femulate reader Juliet Lewis

A Gucci Christmas!

By Lisa Phelps

A real Gucci dress on me, really?

Let me start at the beginning of the story. Several years ago I decided I wanted to create my own prom. After all, I missed out getting dressed up properly for my high school prom, if you don’t count the midnight blue satin suit with ruffled shirt that was in vogue in the 1970’s. (You must admit from the accompanying photo of a similar suit, that it gives off good feminine vibes, even without the ruffled shirt.

I won’t bore you with my prom story here, but suffice it to say that to attend my prom I needed “the dress” and I found a gorgeous one at Macy’s on sale for something like $69. 

After I bought the dress, I noticed that the designer was Adrianna Papell. I happily included that information in a description of the night to my daughter and her reaction was “I have no idea who the designer you mentioned is… I don’t like the idea of spending too much… it’s all about branding and buying into an idea.” 

Essentially, she was letting me know that while the dress was beautiful, she could care less who designed it. I must admit that I am not a designer hound either – I was more impressed that I got a great deal on the dress! I thought it looked gorgeous (and it would have been over the top stunning if only the model had been better...)

After that experience, I have tried not to pay much attention to labels except to check to see if a dress will fit me. The other day, however, I was in TJ Maxx browsing the racks for anything that would be fun to try on or buy or both. This particular store had a good selection of both inexpensive and more expensive clothes and I greedily snapped up a half dozen dresses and tops to take with me to the fitting room. 

A burgundy satin gown really caught my attention. It looked absolutely regal and visually striking while still up on the hangar jammed in with other less worthy examples. What would it look like on me, I wondered? The hangar tag said it was a size 10. Since I sometimes can squeeze into a size 10, I added it to the items I wanted to try on.

After not quite being able to zip it up, however, I had to admit to myself that the dress just didn’t fit. I sadly slipped out of the dress to look at the label again to check the size. The label definitely said 10, so the problem was the girth around the chest area, not the dress. (Oh, the joys of AMAB!) That is when I saw that it was a Gucci. 

A Gucci dress at TJ Maxx? Really? TJ Maxx is a discounter/reseller; it didn’t make sense that they would be carrying a dress like that. Then I noticed the price tag. TJ Maxx was selling it for the highly discounted price of only $1,400 (One Thousand Four Hundred Dollars!). OMG. This dress was originally $2,700. 

I decided right then and there that I was going to try it on again and take a photo of myself in it. When would I get a chance to try on a dress like that again? When would someone let me even do that without pressuring me to buy it? So I did and the photo didn’t end up looking half bad.

You can see that I had to put one arm behind me. That ploy was required to hold together the two ends of the ribboned belt that went just under the bosom. Even with that maneuver, I think you will agree that the dress still looked amazing, even on this old dress form. Quality really does show well.

If that dress had been $140 instead of $1400, I probably would have bought it even though I have never spent that much on a dress (a footnote to readers struck by my apparent willingness to spend a lot of money on a dress – I am in my 60’s now. When I was younger and had a growing family, I never spent more than about $10 on any of my womenswear items). My seamstress could have let it out enough for me to wear it. 

Truthfully, I would have been crazy to buy the dress even at 1/10th the cost because it would simply have gone into the closet with the other lonely members of my formal dress collection. I have a half dozen amazing dresses in that wonderful assembly of style (including the one I wore to my “prom”), but I am lucky if I have just one event every couple of years calling for a dress like that. 

I take comfort from my wife’s own, similar collection of formalwear. Although too-often ignored, each dress nevertheless shines like a beacon of ultimate femininity from the corner of my closet calling me to go out and dance!

I should add that I was just in New York with my wife and we passed the Gucci store on Fifth Avenue. As we went by, my best friend brought me full circle when she said, “I am not impressed by Gucci. It is for insecure people who are trying to place their value as human beings on their stuff. The money can be spent on much better things that help human kind.” 

Like daughter, like mother! They are both right on some level of course, but come on, ladies, don’t the times sometimes demand a little style?

Regardless of the inclinations of the ladies in my life, I’ll hang on to my life lesson from this experience: you may not be able to fit the girl in the Gucci, but the Gucci still belongs on the girl. Yeah, baby – Gucci Gucci Goo!

Wearing Yumi Kim

Alyss Hart is a Femulate reader from the Gold Coast, Australia, posing earlier this year at a crossdressing studio, Arpi's House of Transformation.

Someday Funnies: Matching Lingerie, Too

Wearing Ann Taylor

Laura Peters, another Femulate reader, enjoying an off-season visit to Venice Beach in California.

Yes, that's me!

When I saw this image on Pinterest, I thought that there was a lot of truth to it.

When I am not presenting as a woman and I see another woman who has her act together, I admire her, but I am jealous, too --- jealous that I am not dressed like she is.

High heels always does it for me. In my opinion, if a woman is wearing heels, it is likely that her overall appearance is pulled together.

So whenever I hear the clicking sound of high heels, I look to see where the sound is coming from and I am usually rewarded with the vision of a well-dressed woman. Then I become envious and wish I was in her shoes literally.

I also get crabby when I am in boy mode, but when I present as a woman, I am relaxed, comfortable and generally happy.

So I will admit it: I am a girl!

Wearing Boston Proper

Cyrsti is a 70+ year old retired transgender veteran living with her partner of ten years in the southwestern Ohio. For the past seven years or so, she has authored Cyrsti's Transgender Condo Blog, which is updated nearly daily with trans opinion, news and personal insight. Cyrsti’s favorite photo comes from one of her favorite evenings, an anniversary Creole dinner with her partner Liz, who was so instrumental in helping her to come out and live full time as a transgender woman.

Someday Funnies: Where Wear is Heading

Wearing Rachel Zoe

Femulate reader and contributor Angela Booth at her first job as a femulator.

Making Michelle’s Year!

Michelle thanked me for posting her photo in the Femulator slot on Thursday, then added the following note.

I had a seminar to attend at an Atlantic City casino in October. I thought I was safe because they had express check-in that I signed up for online. But when I arrived, the kiosks were not working and I was dressed similar to my Femulator photo. I had to decide if I go up to the front desk as Michelle or go back to the car and change. I decided to go as Michelle (your inspiration).

I knew I would have to provide ID (my male driver’s license). Well, to my surprise, the lady at the desk asked for the ID and a credit card (I have one in Michelle’s name). She looked at the license, then me with somewhat of an odd look. She went to a back office without the license and then returned, finished the check-in and said to me, “Welcome, Michelle, and I hope you have a nice stay.”

And she added, “I didn’t know you were crossdresser at first, but you look very pretty.” 

Talk about making my year, but then seeing my picture on your website, Wow o Wow. I’m smiling all the way to New Year’s Eve!

Xmas Xdress

Found this image on reddit.

The accompanying text reads, “Found a photo of my grandfather doing drag at a company christmas [sic] party. Some time in the 1960s.” In the Soviet Union no less!

I thought attending company Christmas parties en femme was a recent development in the femulating community. I guess not!

Wearing Rue La La

Femulate reader, Mary Peters

Someday Funnies: Stanley’s Secret

Wearing Moda Operandi

Femulate reader Michelle Rose at the Grand Canyon
“Not the best climate for wearing makeup, but what can you say; it’s hard to be a woman.”

Sweet Loretta Martin

AKA Loretta Martin

I am a big Beatles fan. So much so that I once considered using Loretta Martin as my femme name. 

Needless to say, I plunked down my eight bucks to get a one-month subscription to Disney+ in order to watch The Beatles: Get Back – the eight-hour documentary about the Fab Four (a redo of the 1969 film Let It Be). 

Highlights for me:

🐞 The quality, both video and audio, was a huge improvement over Let It Be.

🐞 Watching Paul McCartney create a song (“Get Back”) out of thin air was amazing.

🐞 Seeing the complete rooftop concert uninterrupted from beginning to end was worth the price of admission.

🐞 Not so much a highlight, but an observation: Wow! They all smoked cigarettes all the time!

I definitely got my money’s worth and highly recommend the film to all Beatles fans.

Wearing Ronny Kobo

Jim, a longtime Femulate reader shopping at TJ Maxx.

Someday Funnies: High Spots of Her Resume

Wearing Bebe

Michelle, another Femulate regular, on her way to the outlet stores.

A Fix

Writing about my recent day out, I mentioned that after losing 25 pounds, my feet are now smaller (by a half size or more). During my day out, my feet were swimming in shoes that used to fit fine and after awhile, they hurt badly.

I fixed the problem temporarily by stuffing facial tissues into the toes of my shoes so that they fit tighter, but I needed to do something permanent to fix the problem since I have about 100 pairs of shoes that were now too big.

Searching Amazon, I found two products that proffered help: Adjustable Toe Filler Inserts and Half Insole Shoe Fillers. I ordered both and tried them out as soon as they arrived at Femulate Headquarters.

The Adjustable Toe Filler Inserts approximated what I did with the facial tissues stuffed into the toes of my shoes. However, these were adjustable by removing a strip of foam in the center of the Toe Filler Inserts. Also, you can adjust them further by trimming the inserts with scissors. For very oversized shoes, you use these inserts as is. For shoes that were oversized, but not by a lot, you remove the foam strip. For shoes just slightly oversized, you trim the inserts as needed.

The Half Insole Shoe Fillers fit under the toes and ball of the foot and basically lift that part of your foot upwards to fill the empty space the shoes.

Both products require no adhesives and are washable and reusable.

I experimented with a pair of slingback 4-inch high heel pumps and a pair of 3.5-inch high heel pumps (the pair I wore out and about that day). The slingbacks required the most tightening and I used the Toe Filler Inserts as is along with the Half Insole Shoe Fillers. The 3.5-inch heels required less tightening, so I removed the foam strip from the Toe Filler Inserts and did not use the Half Insole Shoe Fillers. In both cases, the shoes were tighter and fit like Goddess intended.

I imagine that these two products individually or in combination will fix all the oversized shoe problems in my wardrobe.

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Femulate reader Connie ready for a night out with a friend.