A Fix

Writing about my recent day out, I mentioned that after losing 25 pounds, my feet are now smaller (by a half size or more). During my day out, my feet were swimming in shoes that used to fit fine and after awhile, they hurt badly.

I fixed the problem temporarily by stuffing facial tissues into the toes of my shoes so that they fit tighter, but I needed to do something permanent to fix the problem since I have about 100 pairs of shoes that were now too big.

Searching Amazon, I found two products that proffered help: Adjustable Toe Filler Inserts and Half Insole Shoe Fillers. I ordered both and tried them out as soon as they arrived at Femulate Headquarters.

The Adjustable Toe Filler Inserts approximated what I did with the facial tissues stuffed into the toes of my shoes. However, these were adjustable by removing a strip of foam in the center of the Toe Filler Inserts. Also, you can adjust them further by trimming the inserts with scissors. For very oversized shoes, you use these inserts as is. For shoes that were oversized, but not by a lot, you remove the foam strip. For shoes just slightly oversized, you trim the inserts as needed.

The Half Insole Shoe Fillers fit under the toes and ball of the foot and basically lift that part of your foot upwards to fill the empty space the shoes.

Both products require no adhesives and are washable and reusable.

I experimented with a pair of slingback 4-inch high heel pumps and a pair of 3.5-inch high heel pumps (the pair I wore out and about that day). The slingbacks required the most tightening and I used the Toe Filler Inserts as is along with the Half Insole Shoe Fillers. The 3.5-inch heels required less tightening, so I removed the foam strip from the Toe Filler Inserts and did not use the Half Insole Shoe Fillers. In both cases, the shoes were tighter and fit like Goddess intended.

I imagine that these two products individually or in combination will fix all the oversized shoe problems in my wardrobe.

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Femulate reader Connie ready for a night out with a friend.

Someday Funnies: Hidden Assets

Wearing Rue La La

Heather Wells, a Femulate reader from the U.K.

My Trip with Anna: A Journey to Enlightenment

A true story by Paulette Parfois

Paulette Parfois

Having lived on this planet for 70+ years, I continue to marvel over how life teaches us lessons when we least expect it. One of the most life-changing moments in my life occurred several years ago when my wife and I were waiting to board an overnight flight (a “red eye” to us Road Warriors) from Denver to Miami.

We were sitting in the embarkation area waiting to board our flight. A young woman came and sat across from us. It was readily apparent she was either a crossdresser or transsexual and she was not passing very well.

At the time, I was a senior executive for a major US cable television company and to be honest, I was “full of myself.” To make matters worse, I was in a particular snarky mood that night and began texting unflattering comments about her to my wife. I was impressed by my witty and acerbic commentary and was quietly chuckling to myself. 

The time came to board and since we had early boarding, we were some of the first to get on the plane. We sat down across the aisle from one another (my wife and I both prefer aisle seats). 

Shortly thereafter, general boarding began and I noticed the young woman coming down the aisle. I texted to my wife “just my luck she sits next to me.” Just as I hit the send button, a masculine sounding voice said, “Pardon me. I think I have the seat next to you.” Yes, it was her!

As she settled into her seat, we exchanged polite pleasantries as airline passengers tend to do. She told me her name was Anna. Since I was looking forward to some sleep and was more than slightly annoyed she was sitting next to me, I tried my best to keep my replies short. However, she was so pleasant and engaging I could not help but to respond. 

She told me she was an archaeologist and taught at a university in the Denver area. My wife, who has a passion for archaeology, heard her and perked up from her light dozing. After some discussion about archeology and my wife’s experiences as an amateur archaeologist, the subject changed to Anna’s transition. 

Anna told us how she had only recently completed transitioning and that she was returning to her hometown for her 20th high school reunion. She said she was from a small town on the southern shore of Lake Okeechobee. Having lived in Florida about the time Anna was in high school, I recalled that her hometown had a reputation of being kind of a “deep-in-the-swamp” town and not too receptive to those different from them.

Anna told us she had not been back home for several years and that her family had not seen her since her transition. She was more than a little apprehensive about the welcome she was going to receive. 

As she told her story about her struggles and with coming to terms with her gender identity, I found myself enthralled by her courage and determination. I also was thinking about what kind of reception she was going to receive in her hometown.

To make a long story short, the three of us talked and laughed the whole flight (I am sure much to the annoyance of fellow passengers trying to get some sleep).

When the plane arrived in Miami, I found myself wishing the flight was longer. As we started to embark, I reached over and hugged Anna and told her she would be in our prayers during the coming days. She sweetly smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I almost broke down and cried. 

We promised to keep in touch as passengers on long flights tend to do, but we never did. However, she has remained in my thoughts for all these years. I hope it worked out for her and she is comfortable with her new life. I have silently thanked her many times over the years for bringing me from being opinionated and bigoted to becoming compassionate and understanding.

As I said, life has a way of teaching us lessons we never expected to learn. When I began my adventure crossdressing as Paulette, Anna’s example of fortitude and courage allowed me to fully appreciate the diversity and beauty in people. So, thank you, Anna from the bottom of my heart. You are and will always be a bright beacon in my journey as Paulette. 

Life is good and its lessons are lasting!

Wearing J.ING

Femulate reader Caro toasting a friend on her birthday.

Someday Funnies: Or the Other Girls

Wearing Rene Ruiz

Femulate readers Marissa, Kandi, Debbie and Sherry, last Saturday night at the Lake Erie Gala.

We don’t need no stinking trousers!

Monday’s post (“Dresses & Skirts – A Thing Of The Past?”) by Carollyn Olson received a lot of interesting comments. What follows is my take on the subject.

I seldom see civilian women in dresses or skirts. At the mall last week, I saw one woman in a skirt – all the others were in pants. However, there were still racks of dresses for sale in Macy’s. Don’t know who’s buying them because nobody was wearing them. Maybe they should move those racks to the men’s department because it seems that “men” like us are more likely to wear dresses than cisgender women.

Despite what civilian women are wearing or not wearing, I still dress up when I go out. In addition to the dress, I am fully coiffured and wear heels, hosiery, handbag, jewelry, bra, girdle, full makeup, etc. – just like when Mom when she used to go out. (She taught her “daughter” well.)

People notice. But what’s wrong with being noticed? Being noticed may result in compliments and what girl doesn’t like to receive unsolicited compliments on their appearance.

I’ve received compliments from complete strangers while out and about. My favorite occurred one day while I was looking through the racks at JCPenney. 

A middle-aged woman (same age as me) approached and asked, “Can I ask you a question.”

I had no idea what she was going to ask (“What time is it?” “Where did you buy your shoes?” “Are you a transvestite?”). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

“You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying.”

Wow! I did not see that coming!

I did not like the slacks that she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like her pick and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind and her eyes lit up as she said, “I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help.”

It does not get much better than that! But how ironic: a “man” wearing a dress helping a woman shop for slacks!

I admit I have a few bifurcated garments in milady’s wardrobe. But I seldom wear them. Maybe when I attend a very casual affair like a cook-out or a softball game. Otherwise, I’m in a dress. 

After all, they don’t call it “cross-trousering,” do they?

Wearing JustFab

Femulate reader Heather Elizabeth Stevens, not out and about as often as she would like. Hotel stays while on business trips after a long day typically finds Heather short on time to get out, yet she still adores having her time in a hotel with a glass or two of wine and friends on the Internet.

Happy Holiday

Happy Thanksgiving to all my faithful readers. I am so grateful that you take the time to read my daily missives and joyful that what I write has helped some of you in some way!

Also, thank you for your great response to my request for photos to fill the Femulator slot. I have received more photos than I ever imagined and it will take awhile to use them all, so please be patient if your photo has not shown up yet. And if you have not sent a photo, it’s never too late.

One more thing... Try not to eat too much today... we have to watch our figures!

Thanks, But

We celebrate Thanksgiving Day tomorrow.

“Traditionally, it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general,” according to Wikipedia.

No harvest here, so I guess I express “gratitude in general.”

Mom and Pop are deceased, but I know that they are around in a spirit-in-the-sky kind of way, so I want to thank them for raising me and not interfering with my feminine ways when I was growing up.

Maybe they could have been a little more encouraging by buying me some dresses to wear around the house (so I wouldn’t have to borrow my sister’s) and buying me some dolls of my very own (so I wouldn’t have to borrow my sister’s). It probably would have made my sister happy, too; I wouldn’t be borrowing her stuff and she would have had a “sister” to play with.

On the other hand, it could have been a lot worse and they could have forced me to be masculine!

So, thank you Mom and Pop for letting me be me.

(Caveat Emptor: This is an update of a post I wrote for a previous Thanksgiving.)

Wearing Trina Turk

Anna María, a Femulate reader shopping in southwestern Ontario.

Someday Funnies: Wardrobe Transgression

Wearing Magda Butrym

Blogger and Femulate reader Lynn Jones out in the world trying to blend in with an office look.

Dresses & Skirts – A Thing Of The Past?

By Carollyn Olson

“We don't need no stinkin' skirts!”

Are dresses and skirts becoming extinct?

Look around! Do you see many women wearing dresses or skirts? 

This came to my attention recently when my spouse and I walked through our local mall one night after dinner and I only discovered only one woman wearing a dress and two others in skirt ensembles. What’s going on? (Note: I noticed eight to ten older women wearing dresses or skirts at church last Sunday. The younger ladies were wearing slacks).

As a long-time crossdresser, I love wearing dresses and skirts. I have my share of skinny jeans and leggings, but I prefer a classy dress or skirt when going out and about.

I have noticed women are more casual and ofttimes, sloppy in their appearance. The younger they are, the worse they dress. When at the mall, I saw more females wearing pants, shorts, yoga pants and torn and holey jeans. One girl, walking in front of us was wearing jeans so badly torn that her bare rear end was showing. Disgusting!

I decided to contact my long-time friend, Melissa, the woman’s department manager at a major department store, for her opinion.

“Women are not buying dresses or skirts like they have in the past,” Melissa related. “I don’t know if they are lazy or don’t want to show off their legs. Our store has cut back on both dresses and skirts due to lack of sales. So has Macy’s. Fancy dresses, such as wedding, prom, holiday or special occasion are still popular, but they are mostly seasonal. We still have a good inventory of fancy dresses for the teens, but every day casual dresses just don’t sell. I still like wearing dresses and looking good, but I’d say I wear a dress or a skirt outfit to work only once or twice a week.” 

Melissa reminded me of the Sears stores, prior to the company going out of business.

“As a part of my job, I visit the stores in direct competition with our store. Inventories are down everywhere. I could not find one dress at the Sears in our mall in its final year or so of operation,” she recalled. “The only Sears store with dresses was about ten miles from our location.”  

For a crossdresser, multi-style dresses and skirts are readily available on the Internet, but sadly, not in the stores, so one can try on the dress prior to purchasing. One great site is En Femme, where the company designs dresses and skirts with the crossdresser in mind. 

I have at least six En Femme dresses, which I cherish and love to wear when out andabout. Three are what you might call “party dresses” and the others can be worn for any occasion. Check out the wonderful dresses and skirts on the En Femme site. You can’t go wrong!

I’d love to hear your opinion!

UPDATE: Carollyn thanks everybody for their responses and wishes everyone a blessed Thanksgiving!

Wearing JustFab

Femulate reader and blogger Julie Shaw out and about.

Someday Funnies: What’s Suitable?

Wearing Ann Taylor

Femulate reader Lisa in and about at home

Finally!

On Wednesday, I finally got out among the civilians – first time since the pandemic began! The main reason for my outing was to do outreach at a local high school with the Stonewall Speakers. 

I had to meet up with everybody at the high school at 2 PM. But I was ready early, so instead of hanging around the house en femme, I decided to go to a mall (Westfarms) that was near the high school. My wife checked me out before I left and informed me to fix my wig because there were stray hairs that were trying to get away! (Thanks, Honey.)

I drove to the mall and entered via Macy’s, briefly perused the dress racks, but I did not feel like shopping. I was hungry and felt like eating, so I lunched at my favorite restaurant in the mall Brio Italian Grille.

I had the “Sausage, Pepperoni & Ricotta Flatbread,” ate about one-third of it and doggy-bagged the rest of it home.

After lunch, I walked to Sephora to purchase some makeup. Shopping at Sephora was uneventful, but the walk to and from Sephora was interesting. A tall woman in a dress and high heels sure catches the eye of every male within the sound of the clicking high heels. I passed three groups of guys who I assume were spending their lunch hour at the mall and I distracted them from what they were doing. Not a discouraging word was heard, so I assume they like my shoes!

The issue of my weight loss reared its ugly head. My feet are smaller than they were 25 pounds ago and they were swimming in the shoes that fit in the good old days. By the time I left the mall, my feet hurt from wearing the ill-fitting shoes. I fixed the problem temporarily by stuffing facial tissues into the toes of my shoes so that they fit tighter, but I have to do something more permanent to fix the problem.

I drove to the high school and met up with the gender and sexuality club advisor and my fellow Stonewall Speakers, a gay man and a post-op male-to-female transwoman. There was an excellent turn-out, approximately 30 LGBT males and females.

Each presenter gave a brief biography. I went first and was a little nervous because it’s been a couple of years since my last outreach, but the students laughed when they were supposed to laugh and no one threw tomatoes at me.

After our biographies, the students asked questions that were different than the outreach questions I’ve heard in the past. The difference was probably due to the fact that these students have skin in the game, whereas the college students were attendees because it was part of a course they were taking.

After outreach, we mingled for a few minutes and a young lady made a bee-line for me to compliment me on my perfect makeup!

It was wonderful to be out en femme again and to do outreach. I will be doing outreach at a different local high school next month. 

Wearing Eloquii

Longtime Femulate reader Nancy Ng attending the 2019 Christmas Gala of her Toronto area CD support group, Xpressions.