Someday Funnies

Wearing Zimmermann

World-renowned femulator Julian Eltinge

Metamorphosis Balls Revisited

March 2020, I wrote about Catherine the Great's “metamorphosis balls” in which the male and female attendees crossdressed under orders from the Russian empress herself. I researched the subject, but only found an article from Vogue magazine, which was sparked by the metamorphosis ball scene in the HBO series Catherine the Great (photo above).

Yesterday, an article came across the mojo wire via Atlas Obscura, “The Weekly Cross-Dressing Balls of 18th-Century Russian Royalty” by Sarah Durn, which goes into much greater detail than the Vogue article. 

The men would be required to wear the stockings, corsets, petticoats (up to five was customary), ruffled lace sleeves, hoop skirts, and elaborate sack back gowns that, on any other occasion, the women of court would’ve worn. The women, on the other hand, had to wear men’s embroidered waistcoats, full-skirted coats, breeches, white silk stockings, shoes with ostentatious buckles, a powdered wig, and an unwieldy sword.

In the metamorphosis balls, in which both men and women dressed as the opposite gender, there are two power shifts going on. First, Cole says, “there’s the power of somebody making you dress outside your gender.” Second, there’s the power play that “by doing it yourself, you are critiquing the power dynamics of gender and gendered dress.” By forcing their male courtiers to dress as women, Elizabeth and Catherine were reminding everyone who was boss. They made the rules. And even men had to follow them.

It is a fascinating read and I recommend it to all Femulate readers.

Wearing Madeleine.

Femulating Russian nobility in the 2019 Russian television series Ekaterina (Catherine).
You can view the femulation scene from Ekaterina on YouTube.

TV on TV (You know what I mean)

Comedy Central now has the Seinfeld franchise and Saturday evening, they kicked things off with the “fans’” top ten Seinfeld episodes. Here is the top ten list:

#10 – The Contest

#9 – The Hamptons

#8 – The Festivus

#7 – The Boy Friend (Part 1)

#6 – The Close Talker

#5 – The Yada Yada

#4 – The Little Kicks

#3 – The Bizarro Jerry

#2 – The Puffy Shirt

#1 – The Soup Nazi

Seinfeld is my all-time favorite television comedy series and I disagree with some of the top ten choices (numbers 3 and 8, for example) and the numerical order of the top ten. (“The Soup Nazi” is good, but most of the other episodes on the top ten are better than “The Soup Nazi”).  

And how can “The Chinese Restaurant” not be in the top ten?

“The Red Dot” is another episode that is top ten-worthy. Besides the humor of that episode’s plot, it also includes one of the few crossdressing references in the series when Jerry finds himself in the women’s department of a department store and he says, “I never feel comfortable in the women’s department. I feel like I’m just a little too close to trying on a dress.”

👩  👩  👩

Ninety minutes after the Seinfeld top ten, Kim Kardashian guest-hosted Saturday Night Live. 

I am not a Kardashian fan, but she is Femulate Her-worthy and she fills that slot in today’s post primarily because I love her hairdo in the Lotto Drawing segment of Saturday’s broadcast. 

Where can I get a wig like hers?

Kim Kardashian

Saturday Night Live alumnus Terry Sweeney femulating Nancy Reagan at his book party.

Someday Funnies: First Ladyboy

Wearing Venus

Alan Cumming femulating in the British television series The Runaway.

You can view Cumming’s femulation on YouTube.

Outreach of the Past

The following repost describes one of the last times I did outreach. 

I have not done outreach in a few years. The professor who taught the class I often did outreach for left the University and then there was the pandemic.

I almost did outreach yesterday, but I was late answering the call and they had enough volunteers by the time I volunteered. Outreach was in a church in the neighborhood where I grew up – right next door to my grammar school and a block away from my old home. It would have been so sweet to return as a woman, to a place where I suffered from the abuse of my peers because I refused to man up and turn my back on the woman I was intended to be.

Professor Schildroth has only one human sexuality class this semester rather than two, so  I only had one class for outreach. I was joined by four other transwomen: MaryAnn, another no-op, no-hormone woman like me and three post-op women, Amanda, Kailey and Michelle. I've done outreach with MaryAnn and Michelle many times; Amanda and Kailey were new to me.

As usual, there were a lot more women than men in the class... about 25 women and exactly three men.

Our outreach starts off with each of us telling our biographies in a nutshell – about five minutes each. Then the class is divided between the no-ops and the post-ops for the students can ask questions. Half way through the class time, the no-ops and post-ops switch sides so that each half of the class gets to question all of us.

I am not sure how effective this is as outreach because if the students don’t ask the right questions or if we don’t touch upon a particular point in our bios, then there will be holes in the students’ understanding of what it means to be a transgender person.

However, reading the students’ written comments after each session, I think we are making some progress. We usually are able to leave them with the knowledge that we are not freaks. Rather, that we are just like they are, that is, human beings just trying to get along in the world.

Most of the students’ questions asked of me were typical.

• How did you choose your female name?
• Do you present as a woman all the time?
• Does your spouse support you? 
• Etcetera.

Then there were a couple of atypical questions.

• What was your favorite time growing up? (The late 1960s.)
• What was the weirdest question you were ever asked at outreach? (You just asked it.)

Sometimes, I am a little nervous when I do outreach and come across as “sad” and/or “up tight,” but this time, I was very comfortable and as a result, I was humorous and very effusive.

One student commented that I was “cute” in the way I told my story. Another commented about my prowess for walking in heels – something she has yet to conquer. Still another came up to me after the class, gave me a big hug and said I was “very pretty.”

I did good.

Wearing Madeleine

Femulator Extraordinaire Virginia Prince, circa 1965

Someday Funnies: Papa’s got a brand new bag

Wearing Madeleine

Femulate reader Lily

Woman at Work: What’s Normal?

In honor of our favorite holiday later this month, I will repost past Halloween posts on every Friday this month. 

The following repost is from November 1, 2012, the day after I made my first appearance at work en femme on October 31 without a safety net. My previous two Halloween appearances at work en femme (in 2000 and 2003) were under the guise of employer-sponsored Halloween costume contests. Halloween 2012, there was no contest – I was going in without cover and I’ll admit that it was a little scary. 

I was relieved that power was restored Tuesday night and I spent the evening getting things back in order after Hurricane Sandy blew through. (It’s amazing how quickly things get out of order when you lose electricity.)

It was bedtime when I finished and as I lay in bed, I realized that the next day was Halloween (and what was I going to do about it).

I had assumed that we would be without power for days. As a result, I did not prepare anything in advance for dressing up Halloween morning. But I wondered if I could I do it all in the morning and be out the door in time for work.

Considering everything I had to do, I determined that I could do it all if I got up early enough. So I set my alarm clock for 4:30 AM and I beat the clock waking at 4:15.

It had not occurred to me that making up every morning for a week at Fantasia Fair had accelerated my makeup routine. As a result, I was ready to go almost 30 minutes before I had to hoped for.

My wig was “Stacie” by Noriko, “a flirty hairstyle that has a wispy layered cut with flipped ends and swoop bangs.” My dress was the Ponte Heart Print Dress from Julian Taylor (via ideeli.com). Shoes were my old reliable black patent sling-back open-toe platforms; they are beginning to show their age, so it is time to find a new “old reliable.” “City beige” thigh-highs, black watch and bag and silver necklace and earrings completed my outfit.

To kill time, I styled my wig, then I decided to leave even though it was too early. It was raining hard and still dark, so I thought I could use the extra time to drive slower and safer.

When I arrived at work, there were two cars in the parking lot. I knew they belonged to co-workers who worked on the east side of our complex. That meant I would be the first person on the west side (first person turns on the lights and makes the first pot of coffee).

I did not have to run far (in heels) to dodge the rain because I was able to park in the closest spot to the entrance.

After I dropped my computer bag and purse in my cubicle, I used the ladies’ room to check my makeup, then I took a deep breath to face the day.

The kitchen is next to the restrooms, so I decided to start a pot of coffee first, then turn on the lights. Coffee brewing, I left the kitchen and the lights turned on; somebody beat me to it.

That somebody came around the corner, saw me, and greeted me as one would greet a stranger.

I said, “Happy Halloween,” but he was still clueless and continued on to his office.

As other people filed in, I greeted them and most figured out who I was because I was in or near my cubicle and my reputation proceeded me. Nonetheless, they were amazed at my appearance.

By the way, I went all out. I did not hold back in order to cling to any shred of my male self. I was certainly not a “man in a dress.”

When my boss arrived, I made a bee-line to her cubicle, saying “Happy Halloween” as I entered.

I took about a half minute before she recognized me and she was ecstatic. She checked me out and gushed over my appearance.

“He shaved his legs.”

“He even did his nails.”

“I hate him – he looks better than me.”

“I want your dress when you are done with it.”

She took my photo and emailed it to some of our colleagues in our other facilities. Throughout the morning, she brought people to my cubicle to show me off.

I never saw her act like this before. She was enjoying my femulation as much as I was.

My boss also suggested I play a trick on our president’s administrative assistant, so when she showed up, I went into her office and said, “I am the new hire for receptionist and you are supposed to train me.”

She was completely fooled. She said that no one had informed her of my training, but she was ready to have at it.

Before it went any farther, I asked, “Do you know who I am?”

She shook her head “no,” so I confessed and she was absolutely floored! She confessed that she really had no idea who I was nor that I was a male.

Returning to my cubicle, I heard the voice of a female co-worker who I have known for 16 years, so I paid her a visit.

“Happy Halloween,” I said as she looked up without any sign of recognition, then she recognized me. After she stopped gushing over me, she said that when she first saw me, she thought I was a former co-worker woman. She said the resemblance was striking.

At 10 AM, I had to attend a meeting (a “gemba”) concerning a new product. I walked into the middle of ten engineers standing in a circular fashion for the gemba, said “Happy Halloween” and they all smiled and took my appearance in stride except one engineer, who was shocked. A couple of the guys admitted afterword that until they heard my voice, they had no idea who I was.

Another friend asked if he could take my photo sitting in his cubicle. I gladly agreed, he took it with his smart phone and sent it to his wife claiming I was his new administrator.

After his wife learned the truth, she replied, “OMG!!!!!!! That is soooooo funny! He looks really good as a woman. I don't want her sitting in your cubicle.”

Five co-workers took my photo throughout the day and graciously emailed me copies.

One co-worker said he was “speechless,” then added, “You missed your calling... you should have been a female impersonator.”

During lunch, I drove to the nearby Lowe’s home improvement store to get a replacement part for a piece of plumbing that failed during the storm. I now had no trepidation about going to Lowe’s and I found my trip very revealing.

Whenever I go to Lowe’s or Home Depot in male mode, I have to find and ask a store employee when I need help. Today, I had a male Lowe’s employee practically at my beck and call. When he saw me looking lost in the plumbing department, he asked what I needed and directed me to the exact location where the part was displayed. After I found what I needed, he came over and compared it to the old part I had brought along to make sure I got the right part.

That’s the power of a short skirt and high heels!    

Speaking of high heels, I wore them all day long (over 9 hours) and my feet felt fine. I guess sitting about two-thirds of the day helped. I did bring flats just in case, but I only put them on when I drove home.

After Lowe’s, I visited Walmart to buy some pet food and coffee. I noticed a few gents checking me out, otherwise, the Walmart trip was uneventful.

I also stopped at Dress Barn and bought nothing after perusing the racks.

I returned to work, ate lunch and felt tired; the 4:15 AM wakeup was beginning to take its toll.

I visited the two women in Human Resources who know about me being transgender. The HR woman, who is approximately my age, was enthusiastic and said I looked “great,” while the 30-something HR woman acted as if nothing was unusual and said nothing about my appearance.

Another female co-worker I have known forever stopped by my cubicle in the afternoon and said I looked “sparkling.” She also commented that I looked better than she ever did even when she went to the prom. She wondered if anyone at work had busted “my chops” and I happily admitted that no one had.

Except for folks stopping by to look and/or take photos, the afternoon was quieter than the morning.

Overall, I had a great day at work en femme. Not a discouraging word was heard; instead, I received a lot of compliments.

This was my third Halloween at work en femme. The first two times were in 2000 and 2003. About one-third of my co-workers were with the company back then, so they are aware of my preference for women's wear on Halloween.

I assume a few co-workers suspect that there is more to it than Halloween, but no one has broached the topic with me. If they did, I would tell them the truth.   

Thursday morning, my boss saw me and remarked, “Thank, God, you're dressed normal today.”

I responded, “What's normal?”

Wearing Venus

George Hamilton femulating in the 1981 film Zorro: The Gay Blade.

Someday Funnies: Road to Provincetown

 

Wearing Venus

Eric Idle femulating (again) on an episode of television's Nearly Departed.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.

Ouch!

Monday, I took my wife to the doctor for her regular check-up. On the way home, we stopped at Rite Aid to pick up a drug that the doctor had prescribed. While we were there, I suggested that it would be an ideal time to get our annual flu vaccine and while we’re at it, might as well get the pneumonia and shingles vaccines, too.

By the time we returned home after the vaccinations, we both felt exhausted and our shingle vaccinated upper arms were swollen. I looked it up and this is normal, but we both felt lousy, did not sleep well and are still recovering one day later!

(The Johnson & Johnson coronavirus booster shot is not yet available, otherwise we would have opted for four shots, not three.)

Whereas the flu and pneumonia shots were free, the shingles vaccine is considered a prescription and falls under however your insurance handles prescriptions. In our case, it was $45 out of pocket for each shingles shot. Ouch!

UPDATE: I was out of my head when I put this post together yesterday and grabbed the wrong photo for the Femulator slot, so thank you all for pointing out the error of my ways. Today, I feel better (but not normal yet) after a crushing defeat of the Yankees by my boys in Boston and a good night’s sleep! 

Wearing Issue New York

Marc Warren femulating in the 2003 British television movie Reversals.

Someday Funnies: And Don’t Call Me “Stanley”

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Karl Davies femulating on a 2018 episode of British television’s Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators.