Someday Funnies: The Long and Short of It

Wearing Shein

Forces in Petticoats femulating on the London stage in 1952. The Forces were comprised of former British Army, Navy and R.A.F. members.

Words of Wednesday

Who Wore It Better?

No contest. The lady on the left wore it better, but the lady on the right was a close second! By the way, the ladies are wearing mock neck ribbed dresses from Venus.

Commenting Tips

I moderate all comments. Therefore, after you submit a comment, it will not appear on the blog until I give it a thumbs-up. I check my email a few times each day and if I receive an email informing me that I have a comment to moderate, I get to it right away, but that could be minutes or hours after you submit a comment. So if your comment does not appear on the blog right away, don’t resubmit the comment. The blog did not eat your original comment; I just did not moderate it yet.

Another tip: Don’t insert a less-than (<) or greater-than (>) symbol in your comment. The blog software interprets the symbols as the start and end of HTML code and when your comment appears, it will not display anything you inserted between the symbols as well as the symbols.

And yes, you can insert HTML code in a comment. It is useful if you want to insert a link to a website or webpage in your comment by entering the following code:

   <a><href="www.femulate.org">femulate</a> 

Change www.femulate.org to the URL of the website/webpage you are linking to and change femulate to the name of the website/webpage you are linking to.

Wearing Isabel Marant

Casper Castello femulates in the 2011 Danish film Ladyboy.
You can view a clip from the film on YouTube.

Someday Funnies: If the shoe fits...

Wearing Nicole Miller

Brendan Jordan femulating old school Hollywood glamour

Zooming and Squeeming

Ready to Zoom on Saturday

This past weekend was my ham radio group’s big weekend with a Zoomed board meeting on Thursday and our annual conference Zooming on Friday and Saturday. I missed most of Friday due to family commitments, but I was all in on Thursday and Saturday.

The board meeting was only three hours long, yet I dressed fully en femme even though I would only be seen from mid-torso and up. Saturday was an all-day event (10 AM to 5:30 PM) – the longest I have been fully dressed en femme in a long while.

I wore my Squeem “Perfect Waist” waist cincher both days and I was reminded how comfortable as well effective it is. I also wore my Nine West 4-inch high heel slingback pumps* both days and they were comfortable from beginning to end, so I believe the foot stretching exercises that I do every morning are having an effect.

On the non-wardrobe front, I was visible en femme via Zoom to my fellow board members during the board meeting on Thursday where I was reelected as the group’s secretary for a 19th consecutive term! The board members are used to seeing me en femme via Zoom and in person at Hamvention, so it was not a big deal.

A bigger deal was Zooming en femme to the hundred or so conference attendees, many of whom have never seen me as a woman. Some are probably familiar with my male byline writing for ham radio publications for over 30 years and some are probably familiar with the female byline that I have been using the past 10 years, but not so much my female visage. Either way they seemed very comfortable interacting with me always using the correct pronouns and my female name. So I was very happy with that!

Which reminds me the first time I made a presentation to the public en femme. It was in person at Hamvention in 2018. (Stop me if you heard this story before.) 

After the presentation, a fellow came over to talk to me. He is a member of our organization and I have probably seen him at every Hamvention I have attended during the past 10 to 15 years.

The gent asked me, “How are you related to Stan Horzepa?”

I sure did not see that coming. It was music to my ears.

* An Amazon Associate link

Wearing Jonathan Simkhai

Dick Shawn femulating in the 1984 film Angel.
You can view the film on YouTube.

Someday Funnies

Hats off to Angela for the idea for this funny!

Wearing Ulla Johnson

Femulating on a 1995 episode of Hungarian television’s Éretlenek.

The Ladies’ Room

Gina asked me for my take on using the ladies’ room when we are presenting as ladies.

As I recall, the first time I ever used the ladies’ room was at a venue where my support group was having its annual banquet. For our “convenience,” the venue assigned us our own private restroom. I was having none of that and when I had to go, I used the ladies’ room that all the cisgender ladies were using. 

Entering the ladies’ inner sanctum and mixing with the female civilians was the highlight of that banquet. And ever since then, I have always used the ladies’ rooms and have never looked back.

I feel completely safe using the ladies' rooms in Connecticut. I don't give it a second thought because Connecticut courts say to use the restroom that matches your gender presentation. So Stana uses the ladies’ room and Stan uses the men’s room.

Actually, I use the ladies’ room wherever I find myself ― Massachusetts, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia ― in locales that do not have Connecticut's diverse restroom policy. Using the restroom in those states is a little daunting, but there is no way I am going to enter the men’s room dressed to the nines in a skirt and heels! So I take a deep breath, gird my loins and use the ladies’ room in those foreign climes.

Some girls recommend getting in and out of the ladies’ room as fast as possible so as not to bring any attention to oneself, but in my opinion, a woman using the ladies’ room in a hurried and perhaps furtive manner may raise a few eyebrows. When I use the ladies’ room, I always put my best high-heeled foot forward. I walk into the ladies’ room as if I belong, do my business, wash my hands, primp in the mirror and exit when I am done. All the while, I try not to bring attention to myself by acting inappropriately.

Life in the ladies’ room is very different than life in the men’s room. In general, men mind their own business in the men’s room and do not strike up conversations with other men. They do their business, occasionally wash their hands and get out of Dodge ASAP while trying to avoid eye contact with any other men using the facility.

In contrast, ladies often greet other ladies in the ladies’ room and will strike up a conversation at the drop of a hat. I lost count how many times cisgender ladies have struck up a conversation with me by complimenting my shoes, my hair, my dress, the weather, the venue, etc. So be prepared to chat with the other ladies’ using the facilities.

Gina asked, “What sort of attention am I likely to get from other users if I use such facilities and how do I avoid the prospect of being asked to leave the establishment as a result of attracting the wrong kind!”

The average civilian does not examine every person they encounter to try to determine if they are trans or not. Unless the transperson presents in a way that will alert a civilian that something is amiss (or not a Miss), the transperson will blend into the background of the civilian’s daily routine. So if your presentation works out and about, it will also work in the confines of the ladies’ room. And you will not be asked to leave the establishment.

I have never had any issues using ladies’ rooms in restaurants, malls, bars, department stores, universities, highway rest stops, banquet halls, gas stations, colleges, museums, theaters, convention halls, fairgrounds or anywhere else. Nor have I ever heard a negative comment regarding my presence in the holy of holies. Worst case, I might get an odd look, which indicates to me that the looker is not sure whether I am a girl or a boy. 

Family restrooms offer a safe place to do your thing without worrying about causing a commotion, but I still use the ladies’ room even if a family restroom is available. I would rather encounter a woman looking at me oddly in the ladies’ room than a guy looking at me oddly in the family restroom.

Usually, I am not a distraction and I actually enjoy my ladies’ rooms visits! But I dread using the ladies’ room for its intended purpose. The stalls are too tight for an Amazonian like me and it is difficult to get half undressed in that confined space, which is essentially what you have to do in order to do what you have to do; raise your dress or lower your slacks, lower your pantyhose, lower your panties and if you are wearing a girdle, you have to deal with that, too.

And after you do your business and wipe yourself, you have to get dressed in that confined space. That’s why I closely check myself out in the mirror after exiting the stall to make sure everything is where it is supposed to be.

And while you are in the stall, don’t put your bag on the floor ― yuck! Hang it on the hook that is usually mounted on the inside of the stall door.

And most importantly, remember to sit to pee!

Wearing Eloquii

Johnny Downs femulating in the 1941 film All American Co-Ed.

You can view this film on YouTube and be sure to check out the stage full of femulators at the beginning of the film.

Someday Funnies

Hats off to Angela for the idea for this funny!

Wearing Boston Proper

Contestant in the 2019 Miss Engineering Womanless Beauty Pageant

I Resemble That

Unless you get down in the weeds and read all of this blog’s comments, you may have missed my comment exchange with Mikki over the weekend. 

Someday Funnies used a movie still from a 1930’s film starring Robert Montgomery.

Mikki commented, “Ooooooh, Robert Montgomery femulating. I'd like to see that!”

My research failed to find any occurrence of Robert Montgomery en femme, but I did offer the image above as the “Best I can do.” That’s Robert’s daughter, Elizabeth, in the photo and the facial resemblance between father and daughter is striking.

It’s ironic how females often resemble their fathers, while males often resemble their mothers. I know in my case, I resemble my mother while my sister resembles my father. There are photos of me en femme where I look just like Mom. And lucky me, I not only inherited her looks, but I also inherited her legs.

Personally, I think that my legs are ok, but other people have convinced me that they are more so. My legs always receive good grades. My mother often said I had beautiful legs (“you should have been a girl with legs like yours”). My wife and other women have admitted that I have nicer legs than they do. A friend's spouse even nicknamed me ”Leggy.” 

Would you believe that in her youth, my mother was also nicknamed “Leggy.”

And so it goes!

Wearing Nine West booties

Robert Vaughn femulating in a 1983 episode of television’s Hotel.

Someday Funnies

Wearing ModCloth

Diether Krebs femulating in a 1987 episode of West German television’s Sketchup.
You can view the episode on YouTube.

At the 2021 MTV Video Music Awards, Bretman Rock wore the same gown that Aaliyah wore to the 2000’s MTV VMAs. 

Monday Mash

I Squeemed

I Squeem, You Squeem, We All Squeem for Nice Squeem Dept.

Searching for something else in this blog, I came upon my post extolling the virtues of the Squeem “Perfect Waist” waist cincher. Looking at the accompanying photo, I was impressed by my curvy figure and especially my flat tummy... so impressed that I thought I should revisit wearing the Squeem.

I tried to recall why I had given up wearing the Squeem. Knowing me, I was probably distracted by a new shiny object and abandoned the Squeem for it.

Also, I wondered how the Squeem would fit now that I am 25 pounds lighter than when I had last worn it, so I got it out of storage and tried it on. It fit perfectly. The only difference was that I had to use the “skinny” row of hook-and-eye closures rather than the “chubby” row of closures. 

I added my old Squeem to my arsenal of shapewear. 

Live Wigs Dept.

Big wig buyer that I am, everyday I receive email ads from various wig sellers. The Wig Company recently went above and beyond simple advertisements by introducing its customers to Tia, a wig expert who guest blogged “How To Make Synthetic Wigs Look Realistic. It is an excellent piece and includes a handful of how-to videos and a link to Tia’s YouTube channel that has even more – everything you wanted to know about wigs, but didn’t know who to ask!

Your Bra is My Bra Dept.

After 38 years of marital bliss, I can’t believe that I never knew my spouse’s bra size until I did the laundry the other day and discovered that my wife wears the same size bra as I do (or vice versa). We are so compatible – a match made in heaven!

Wearing Venus

Four femulators are on stage in this scene from the 2017 British film Glamour Dolls.