Bagged Cat

Squeaky

“That cat wasn't let out of the bag, it was yanked out!” – Fred Mertz

Exchanging e-mails and reading your comments about my Validation post brought to mind more thoughts on the subject.

Receiving a comment like “You look better than most women I know” is validating with regards to the way you look – your outfit, hair, makeup, etc. But is the commenter saying “As a crossdresser, you look better than most women I know” or is the commenter saying “As a woman, you look better than most women I know.” The former indicates that the commenter read you as a male, while the latter indicates that your femulation is working and the commenter believes that you are a cisgender female. 

Both interpretations are validating, but the former is definitely preferable to the latter. You'll never know for sure which is the case unless you broach that topic with the commenter. But why ruin a good thing and let the cat out of the bag. 

Not following this advice, I yanked the cat out of the bag on more than one occasion.

I believe I often pass at a distant, but not so much up close and personal. I assume that face-to-face, too many clues are apparent that give me away. In the past, with that in the back of my mind, I did not think twice if I said something that indicated that I was cisgender male.

About half the time when I gave myself away, I was surprised that the person I just clued in had no idea I was a guy! My femulation was good enough to convince them that I was really a woman! As a result, I have learned to bite my tongue when I feel a clue about to escape my mouth and just assume my femulation is working.

Wearing Ranna Gill

Blogger Hannah McKnight

I'm Batgirl

My favorite comic book superhero was Batman. Whereas the other superheroes had all the super powers, Batman had all the cool gadgets, a cool costume, headquartered in a cave and used the bat for his symbol ― can't get much cooler than that!

Pop worked in the comic book factory that printed the Marvel line of comic books, but he had to have a kid who preferred a character from DC, a competing line of comic books. I appreciated the Marvel superheroes and read many of their books religiously, but Batman was always Number 1.

Fast-forward to Halloween 1995 and in honor of my favorite superhero, I attended my support group's Halloween party dressed as my version of Batgirl. 

 

Wearing Andrew Gn

Simon Hanselmann, cartoonist

Validation

Some people seemed concerned that when they receive a compliment about their appearance (“You look great”), the person making the compliment is really saying, “You look great... for a crossdresser.”

So? I would rather look “great” for a crossdresser than look lousy for a crossdresser!

I appreciate any compliment I receive, whether the person making the compliment reads me as a crossdresser or not. Perhaps, the nicest compliment I have ever received was, “You look better than most women I know.”

You can't get much better validation than that!

Wearing Andrew Gn

Shingo Katori femulating in the 1997 Japanese film Hong Kong Night Club.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Venus

Lee Tergesen femulating on televisions' Drop Dead Divas.

Passing in the COVID-19 Vaccine Line

When Connecticut announced that people my age could get the COVID-19 vaccine, I worried that making an appointment would be difficult after hearing the horror stories about people unable to make appointments. But it turned out to be easy – I got online and in less than five minutes, I made an appointment for my wife and I for March 11 at a facility 10 miles from our home.

We arrived at the facility on time yesterday morning and were greeted with great news: it was the first day that this facility would be using the Johnson & Johnson one-shot vaccine rather than a two-shot vaccine! What luck!

So we got in line with about six people ahead of us. The line moved quickly and we found ourselves at the “Registration” window staffed by a twenty-something women, who asked us our names. 

I told her our names and wise-ass that I am, I added, “I'm Stanley and she’s Laurie.”

She replied, “Oh, I don’t know – I think you could pass for a ‘Laurie.’” 

I was in boy mode at the time.

Wearing Venus

Craig Olsen femulating in the 2012 film Pop Kowboy.
You can view the film’s trailer on YouTube.

Young Stana

I do not recall ever wishing I was a girl. I just wanted to do the things that girls did, for example, act like a girl, play like a girl, dress like a girl, etc.

Acting like a girl was easy because I did not have to act. I acted like a girl naturally. And the bullies could not convince me to act otherwise.

Playing like a girl was easy too because I had a sister who was happy to have a playmate for girl play.

Dressing like a girl came later, but once I found the courage to dress like a girl, I was all in.

So I did not wish to be a girl because I was already living as a girl. Yes, I was a boy, but I did not let that stop me from being the best girl I could be.

Wearing New York & Company

Iain Armitage dressing pretty on television's Young Sheldon.

Leolines

By Paula Gaikowski

A friend recommended an online clothing retailer that specialized in clothes tailored for transgender men and women. I was immediately skeptical; I had visions of overpriced fetish wear and poorly designed clothes. However, I was pleasantly surprised and put them on my list of potential places to shop.

Leolines was started by Chris McKelvey a seamstress who sewed custom made dance and gymnastic costumes. One day, the parent of a transgender girl asked if she could make an outfit that would meet the needs of her transgender daughter. She was elated with the results and asked her if she could make underwear and swimsuits. The word soon spread in the transgender community and thus her business was born.

Leolines panties are designed to hide the more masculine parts of a femulator’s anatomy. The reviews I’ve read all stress how they changed the life of so many transgender women who could now have the confidence to wear leggings, jeans and bodycon dresses. They are also very comfortable and eliminate the need for gaffs, tight panties or Spanx. Along with all that, they are pretty.

As I wrote here, I have this whole tucking thing down to a science so why would I need something special and besides, for me there is a certain joie de vivre knowing that I am wearing clothes made for a female.

Here’s where it got interesting. My wife and I have DADT agreement going when it comes to my femulating. She runs hot and cold and there have been times over the years when she’s bought me clothes and also given me some of hers. 

A few years ago, I inherited two of her sport bras, which I took to wearing under sweaters in the wintertime. The other day she saw them in the wash. They were very worn and she remarked that I need some new ones. 

“Well, my birthday is coming up,” I joked. 

I never expected anything to come of it.

How she found Leolines on Esty I’ll never know, but I was surprised, elated and touched in the heart when I opened my gifts and found a Leolines Racer Back Bra and High Waist Panty, both in the Tinkerbell print. Tinkerbell is a playful name my wife has used over the years when referring to me and femulating. 

There was a lot in that gift: true love, acceptance and grace. I love wearing them under sweatshirts on cold days here in Maine. It’s my way of knowing deep down who I am. As you all can relate, it just feels right. 

About half of Leolines business is transgender children. The other is transgender adults and most of them are younger. The generation of transgender persons behind us are out and upcoming. They are consumers and the business world is rising to meet their demands. Moving out of their niches and into the mainstream are retailers like Bindle and Keep, who custom make suits for transgender men. I predict we are soon to see a transgender line of clothing by a mainstream vendor such as Victoria Secret, Maidenform, Spanx or Torrid.

Wearing Oscar De La Renta

Rob Harmon femulating in the 2008 film Between Love and Goodbye.

Your Favorite National Dress Day Dresses

On National Dress Day, I invited you to send me a photo wearing your favorite dress. The following lovely ladies responded and I thank them all.

Angela Booth

Anna Maria (and friend)

Dawn Wyvern

Dee

Deedee

Jocelyn

Julie Michelle

Kandi Robbins

Lena

Mikki

Nancy Ng

Rachel

Suzanne W. Jeffries

Tina Davis

Virginia

Wearing BGL

Marques Houston femulating in House Party 4: Down to the Last Minute.