Still Passing After All These Years

More passing success stories from the femulating front line...

Claire

Five or six years ago, my wife and I were asked to a Super Bowl party at a friend’s house. As we were mixing and mingling, our hostess introduced me to a couple who were snowbirding (as we say in Florida) from Michigan. 

“Sue and Claire, this is XX and XY (I’ve forgotten their names) who are renting the house next door.”  

So as we were chatting, the lady noticed our wedding rings.  

“So how long have you been married?”  

I replied “Forty five years.”  

Her response, “Oh, I didn’t think same-sex weddings were legal back then.”    

An enlightening discussion followed. 

Jenny Shaw

While I was staying a few days with my TV friend Jim and his wife, a lady friend of theirs had been invited to join us for the evening meal. She was well aware of Jim being a TV and had been told beforehand that there would be another person, i.e., me, at the meal and that I was also transgender.

When she arrived I was introduced to her as Jenny – I was fully en femme, but very casually dressed – and we sat and chatted for half an hour or so before the meal. I’m 5’ 11” and have a typical male bone structure and made no attempt to change my voice while we were chatting, so I assumed it was obvious to her that I was the other trans person she’d been told about. 

Just before the meal, I made some comment about wearing female clothing and she became quite confused. She then said that she hadn’t realized I was the trans person she’d been told would be present and had been about to ask me where my husband was!  Wow – I didn’t see that coming. 

Even after all was explained she had trouble accepting that I wasn’t a biological woman.  Since then, she and I have been out and about together shopping and dining and she still can only see me as being female.

Linda

I had just finished my transformation in my car parked in a lay-by/turnout. Waiting for a lull in the traffic in order to get back in my car after having just put ‘his’ clothes in the boot/trunk, when a passing lorry tooted at me. This reminded me of the time I had just emerged alone into the open air from the underground/subway in London and got wolf-whistled. GGs would be offended by such sexist experiences, but for me, it was pure heaven. LOL

Lisa

I was on a weekend getaway from London to Colchester and was walking back to my B&B along a side street at dusk. Ahead of me approached four young men in their late teens/early twenties. The sidewalk was narrow, my B&B was still a block away and there was traffic in the street, so I had no choice but to continue straight ahead and hope for the best.  

As they got closer, I could tell they were inebriated, which is never a good sign with a group of young men. As I walked by them, one of the guys spoke to me and said, “Do you think you could handle all of us?”

It was a disgusting comment and was obviously an inappropriate thing to say to a mature women (or any woman for that matter). I paused in my steps because I wanted to say something motherly in response.  But before I could reply, one of his companions quickly interjected, “Leave her alone!”

And they did.  It may not have been my “best” passing experience, but it certainly was my most important one in terms of personal safety. 

Wearing Rue La La

Just another girl from the Internet

Someday Funnies

Wearing Venus

Visit the Internet to find “Millions” like her.

More Success Stories

Your response to my request for your best passing success stories has been great. Here are three more with more to come.

Lena Andrews

Getting out and about in Sydney was an infrequent occurrence in the 1980's and 1990's.

Being married with a loving wife who did not approve of my crossdressing, was the major reason. Like thousands of other transvestites/crossdressers, photos were the only way we could view how we appeared in feminine fashions.

While my late wife was touring Hawaii in 1987, came the opportunities to be seen! I attended a ballet at the Sydney Opera House. From our two-bedroom unit, I undertook a taxi ride into the city. 

As you may know from photos of the Opera House, there is a very large and long set of concrete steps into the Concert Hall. Once there and through the ticket check, there was a long carpeted series of stairs to my seat at the end of an aisle. Was escorted to it by a female usherette who commented on my choice of “costume'.” At the interval, I took the easy way to use the toilets, for there are invalid facilities.

Went to one of the bars for a coffee and was again appraised of my choice of gown, earrings and sensible choice of shoes for mounting all those stairs. Also, to hand with all the usual female bits and bobs in it, was a gold mesh clutch. I enjoyed the performance while seated next to two ladies in evening dress who gave me critical appraisals and we talked easily before the ballet and part of the interval. So I believe I was accepted as a woman which gave me a warm and confirming assurance.

Marie Anne

About three months ago, Marie was introduced to a very friendly woman who immediately accepted Marie, although I am not quite sure if I fully passed in the circumstance, but I was definitely accepted as Marie and we became very good girl friends. 

Just two weeks ago, my friend arranged a girls’ get-together with two of her cis girlfriends. The four of us met at a IHOP for lunch. By happenstance, our server, a young waiter had served Marie’s male persona less than a week before. There was no recognition or undo reaction, just four women out for lunch. He took our orders and engaged in some small talk asking if it was to be one bill or split. 

The table talk was varied and pleasant, covering a range of girl interchange, some about their boyfriends without hint of Marie being male and privy to this girl chatter.

The after event comments from the two girls/women included plans to get together again soon for a girls’ night out at a restaurant with a dance floor, which Marie had visited two years back. Marie was noted by the two girls independently as a “classy lady” and “a delight to talk to.”

Nancy Ng

My most memorable passing success story was at our local CD club's (www.Xpressions.org) Christmas Dinner & Party a few years back. It took place at a hotel ballroom, had just ended and I was heading back to my hotel room.

I was dressed in a very bright pink sequins dress that the hotel night manager had already complimented me on as being “very sparkly.” When the doors of the elevator opened and I stepped in, there was a senior couple in it already. 

As the elevator started to move, the husband said, “You look very nice.” 

Then the wife chirped in, “I used to have a body like that.” So, unless the wife was trans, I don't think they read me. 

I was tempted to say in my deepest male voice, “Lady, there’s no way you would have had a body like mine.” But, I just said, “Thanks, have a good evening” in my best feminine voice as I exited the elevator to my floor.

 

Wearing Rotate

Two of the “Millions” on the Internet

...and a Happy New Year

Your Passing Success Stories

In Monday’s post, I asked you to send me your passing success stories in order to cheer things up at the end of this dreadful year. 

Some of you told your stories in the Comments section of Monday's post, while some of you sent me your stories via email. I will begin posting the email stories below in the order received. Regarding the Comments stories, I refer you back to Monday’s post.

Thank you all who responded. And it is not too late to send me your story. And as I wrote on Monday, please only send me one – your very best – passing success story, even though you may have a million of them. That way everyone will have a chance to tell their story.

Anna María

Three or four times a year we go to a town about two hours away to visit with a dear friend. It is not often that my wife accepts to go out with me while dressed; she is afraid we may ran into someone we know and for some reason or another, I had not been there dressed for many years.

We arrived early so my wife could visit a store she likes and at the store we ran into our friend. She did recognize my wife right away and though she knew I would be presenting as a female, she did not recognize me at all. 

This is what she emailed to me the next morning. “Truly, it was a shock to realize who you were... and you looked so comfortable in your own skin... be well... see you again.” 

Later we had lunch together at a large table to keep our social distancing. It was a perfect girls’ lunch and my first real outing this 2020, other than once a week dressing up to walk our Cocker Spaniels.

Paula

I was shopping one of those huge wig and beauty supply super stores just north of Philadelphia. I was dressed business-like in black slacks, a magenta sweater and demure jewelry. A young sales associate asked me if I needed help. I sat down in a chair and we started trying on wigs. 

I didn’t try to conceal the fact that I was a femulator – heck, my wig was off so I thought it was obvious. It was so much fun trying so many different looks. After a while she asked me “Did you lose your hair from chemo?”

“Oh no,” I answered, “This is just the natural me.” 

It didn’t click that the reason she asked this was because she thought I was a cisgender woman recovering from breast cancer. It dawned on me later. Because she had seen me without a wig, I assumed she knew I was a femulator. So,I asked her, “Do you get many other men customers in here?” 

She replied, “No, not really,” and then a minute or two later with a confused look she asked, “Why do you say it like that?” 

She was confused by the word “other,” so I explained to her that I was a guy who was transgender and that I lived part-time as a woman. 

“Oh… I thought you were a woman,” she stammered. 

Now I’ve played this over in my mind a thousand times. I’ve had sales associates appease me and act surprised when I mentioned that I was transgender. You can tell when someone is being polite. This young lady didn’t have to say that. I kept dropping clues that I was a femulator, but she truly seemed surprised. She thought I was female and for me, to be recognized as a woman was the perfect end to that two-week period.

Angela Booth

I had an appointment to have a new wig styled at my salon. I always go dressed and go to a side room with my stylist. On arrival, I gave my details to the receptionist who checked my appointment and asked me to take a seat. I saw my stylist working away and she waved at me. 

One of the other girls had just finished washing a ladies’ hair. She walked towards me and asked if I was next to have my hair washed...

Gracie Rose

I love when I hear someone say ma’am or refer to me as her. I work hard to blend, but when I hear something like that, I feel that I am truly passing.

A few weeks ago, I was walking a walking trail in a local park en femme. The trail was a 1-mile loop that I completed three times. There was a gentleman going the opposite direction, so we passed multiple times. I smiled and said “good morning” as we passed the first time, as is my standard greeting to everyone on the trail. 

The second time, I smiled as we passed. The third time, he waved for me to stop. I pulled out my earbuds and he asked me, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Christine Baranski, the actress?”

I told him that no one had told me that before. I was somewhat surprised to hear that. He noticed my confusion and said, “When you smiled back there, you reminded me of her.” 

He paused and said’ “That’s a compliment.” 

I thanked him and we both continued our separate walks. I was elated that I not only seem to have passed, but was compared favorably to a nice-looking actress.

Stay tuned for more of your passing success stories in near future posts.

Wearing ModCloth

Georg Preuße and Reiner Kohler femulate on West German television's Mary & Gordy. Search YouTube for “Mary & Gordy” and you will find a slew of videos from the show.

Review: Venus Floral Printed Velvet Dress

I always wanted a Cheongsam style dress and when I saw this offering on the Venus website, I quickly placed an order and received the dress in the mail 10 days later, which is atypical for Venus – usually their orders take longer to arrive.

This is a bodycon dress made of stretchy, figure-hugging velvet in a seductive style designed to show off your every curve. The velvet is so soft and comfortable that although it is like wearing a second skin, it does not feel tight because it stretches as you do.

I ordered a size 16 and as you can see, the hem falls just below the knee. The sleeves are a little short (my arms are too long), but I don't believe that it detracts from the overall look of the dress  

The only qualm I had before ordering the dress was its high neck collar. I was concerned that the collar would ruin my makeup when I slipped into the dress. However, I had nothing to worry about because the collar has a zipper in back to facilitate getting the dress on and off.

I like the dress a lot and I plan to wear it to the next cocktail party I attend.

Wearing Bebe

Yet another one of the “Millions” on the Internet

Revisiting Passing is not important, but...

As I wrote here on Thursday, just getting out en femme is more important than getting out en femme and passing, but it sure feels wonderful on those occasions when you know that you passed! 

In celebration of the holiday season and the near end of this dreadful year, let’s share some good news for a change. Send me one of your passing successes – that time you knew you definitely passed and I will share your story here with our readers.

(Please only send me one – your very best – passing success story, even though you may have a million of them. That way everyone will have a chance to tell their story.)

To kick things off, here is a success story that Kim sent me after she read Thursday's post.

I accept as fact that it is difficult for me to pass, because I am a tall person with many physically male attributes. But that doesn’t mean I do not try. I do the best I can with shapewear, selection of clothing, wig style and makeup, as well as subtle adjustments to mannerisms (some innate) and voice, in an effort to pass.

Yes, I try to pass. I want to pass. I want the freedom to move among the people, unquestionably seen as woman. That’s my ultimate goal. I know I seldom attain that goal, but it’s a great motivator.

And once in a while I actually have succeeded beyond my expectations. For example, one summer night six months prior to covid, I went to a local bar/restaurant for dinner and a few drinks. I was seated near a large group of young women out for a bachelorette party. Somehow I got drawn into their group and spent much of the evening enjoying the revelry with them. Most of the time was spent chatting with the pretty young woman who invited me to join their group. 

I’m not sure why, but at some point I acknowledged what I presume was obvious – that I was transgender. To my surprise, the girl was surprised by my acknowledgement. She said she never for a moment imagined that I was anything other than an attractive, mature woman. She insisted so. I was stunned and pleased and frankly felt so validated as a woman.

I know... I’m not supposed to worry about passing, but when it does happen, it is utterly wonderful.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Rumano Fabrishh – another one of the “Millions” on the Internet

Someday Funnies

Wearing Magda Butrym

Another one of the “Millions” on the Internet

Some Things

One of my Christmas self-gifts

When I went by the name “Staci,” my email address was staci-staci@sbcglobal.net. When I changed my name to Stana, I created a new email address (stana-stana@sbcglobal.net), but did not delete the old email address because some people continued to use the old address to contact me.

The old email address is no longer working (I can’t figure out why), so I am abandoning it. If the old address is in your address book, please replace it with stana-stana@sbcglobal.net.

👠👠👠

I googled “femulator” the other day and discovered a Kindle book titled Femulator 2.0, whose main character is named “Stan.” What a coincidence!

👠👠👠

I mention this almost ever year around this time. Stana seldom receives holiday gifts, so she takes matters into her own hands and self-gifts. This year, I gifted myself a coat, a dress, shoes and makeup. I already reviewed the shoes here and promise to review my other gifts in the near future.

👠👠👠

Ten inches of snow fell here on Thursday. I've seen worse. Took me two hours to clean the driveway and walks – that's one way to help maintain my figure!

Wearing Vince Camuto

Found this image on a Pinterest crossdressing board. Looks like an advertisement for a Swedish department store. Also looks like the same person is modeling the Herr and Dam outfits, but I could be wrong. Anyone have a clue? UPDATE: A number of readers have identified the model as Swedish professional femulator Christer Lindarw. Thank-you.

Passing is not important, but...

Passing is not important to me. However, presenting as a woman is very important to me, whether I pass or not. 

Worrying about passing prevented me from going out as a woman for many years. When I finally realized that passing was not a deal breaker, I so regretted those wasted years. 

Now I relish every opportunity to go out, so needless to say, being cooped up due to the coronavirus is very frustrating. The weekly dress-ups at Femulate Headquarters are getting a little old. Hopefully, things will be better next year.

That being said, yes, passing is not important, but it sure feels good when you do! I can recall many occasions when I got that warm fuzzy feeling because I knew I had just passed and that never gets old.

Like the time shopping in JCPenney when a woman approached me and asked, “Can I ask you a question?”

I had no idea what she was going to ask (“What time is it?” “Where did you buy your shoes?” “Are you a transvestite?”). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

“You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying.”

Wow! I certainly did not see that coming!

We discussed the merits of the slacks. I did not like what she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like what she had picked out and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind and her eyes lit up as she said, “I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help.”

“Good luck,” I said. Then I took a deep breath and screamed to myself, “Oh, my God!”

Wearing Bebe

Miss Keith – another one of the “Millions” on the Internet

I Never was a Man

Velma kindly sent me an article, Until I Was a Man, I Had No Idea How Good Men Had It at Work, written by a transman about how he was treated at work as a cisgender female, compared to how he is now treated as a man. In two words, “no comparison.”

As a male who oozed femininity, I did not experience the male privileges that my male co-workers experienced. As a feminine being, I was treated more like my female co-workers. 

All my life, I was a feminine being and growing up, I suffered the slings and arrows of my bullies for being so. At least in the workplace, the bullies had to constrain their mistreatment to some degree, so work offered relief from the nonsense that this feminine boy suffered out among the civilians, as long as I did not mind forfeiting male privilege and just be like one of the girls. 

It is no wonder that presenting as a woman was a perfect match for me. 

And so it goes.

Wearing ModCloth

Stefania Visconti

Interview with Me

Monika has posted an interview with me on her blog The Heroines of My Life. I had fun participating in the interview and I hope you enjoy reading it. And I want to thank Monika for choosing me and conducting the interview.

Click here to read the interview.