Review: Venus Floral Printed Velvet Dress

I always wanted a Cheongsam style dress and when I saw this offering on the Venus website, I quickly placed an order and received the dress in the mail 10 days later, which is atypical for Venus – usually their orders take longer to arrive.

This is a bodycon dress made of stretchy, figure-hugging velvet in a seductive style designed to show off your every curve. The velvet is so soft and comfortable that although it is like wearing a second skin, it does not feel tight because it stretches as you do.

I ordered a size 16 and as you can see, the hem falls just below the knee. The sleeves are a little short (my arms are too long), but I don't believe that it detracts from the overall look of the dress  

The only qualm I had before ordering the dress was its high neck collar. I was concerned that the collar would ruin my makeup when I slipped into the dress. However, I had nothing to worry about because the collar has a zipper in back to facilitate getting the dress on and off.

I like the dress a lot and I plan to wear it to the next cocktail party I attend.

Wearing Bebe

Yet another one of the “Millions” on the Internet

Revisiting Passing is not important, but...

As I wrote here on Thursday, just getting out en femme is more important than getting out en femme and passing, but it sure feels wonderful on those occasions when you know that you passed! 

In celebration of the holiday season and the near end of this dreadful year, let’s share some good news for a change. Send me one of your passing successes – that time you knew you definitely passed and I will share your story here with our readers.

(Please only send me one – your very best – passing success story, even though you may have a million of them. That way everyone will have a chance to tell their story.)

To kick things off, here is a success story that Kim sent me after she read Thursday's post.

I accept as fact that it is difficult for me to pass, because I am a tall person with many physically male attributes. But that doesn’t mean I do not try. I do the best I can with shapewear, selection of clothing, wig style and makeup, as well as subtle adjustments to mannerisms (some innate) and voice, in an effort to pass.

Yes, I try to pass. I want to pass. I want the freedom to move among the people, unquestionably seen as woman. That’s my ultimate goal. I know I seldom attain that goal, but it’s a great motivator.

And once in a while I actually have succeeded beyond my expectations. For example, one summer night six months prior to covid, I went to a local bar/restaurant for dinner and a few drinks. I was seated near a large group of young women out for a bachelorette party. Somehow I got drawn into their group and spent much of the evening enjoying the revelry with them. Most of the time was spent chatting with the pretty young woman who invited me to join their group. 

I’m not sure why, but at some point I acknowledged what I presume was obvious – that I was transgender. To my surprise, the girl was surprised by my acknowledgement. She said she never for a moment imagined that I was anything other than an attractive, mature woman. She insisted so. I was stunned and pleased and frankly felt so validated as a woman.

I know... I’m not supposed to worry about passing, but when it does happen, it is utterly wonderful.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Rumano Fabrishh – another one of the “Millions” on the Internet

Someday Funnies

Wearing Magda Butrym

Another one of the “Millions” on the Internet

Some Things

One of my Christmas self-gifts

When I went by the name “Staci,” my email address was staci-staci@sbcglobal.net. When I changed my name to Stana, I created a new email address (stana-stana@sbcglobal.net), but did not delete the old email address because some people continued to use the old address to contact me.

The old email address is no longer working (I can’t figure out why), so I am abandoning it. If the old address is in your address book, please replace it with stana-stana@sbcglobal.net.

👠👠👠

I googled “femulator” the other day and discovered a Kindle book titled Femulator 2.0, whose main character is named “Stan.” What a coincidence!

👠👠👠

I mention this almost ever year around this time. Stana seldom receives holiday gifts, so she takes matters into her own hands and self-gifts. This year, I gifted myself a coat, a dress, shoes and makeup. I already reviewed the shoes here and promise to review my other gifts in the near future.

👠👠👠

Ten inches of snow fell here on Thursday. I've seen worse. Took me two hours to clean the driveway and walks – that's one way to help maintain my figure!

Wearing Vince Camuto

Found this image on a Pinterest crossdressing board. Looks like an advertisement for a Swedish department store. Also looks like the same person is modeling the Herr and Dam outfits, but I could be wrong. Anyone have a clue? UPDATE: A number of readers have identified the model as Swedish professional femulator Christer Lindarw. Thank-you.

Passing is not important, but...

Passing is not important to me. However, presenting as a woman is very important to me, whether I pass or not. 

Worrying about passing prevented me from going out as a woman for many years. When I finally realized that passing was not a deal breaker, I so regretted those wasted years. 

Now I relish every opportunity to go out, so needless to say, being cooped up due to the coronavirus is very frustrating. The weekly dress-ups at Femulate Headquarters are getting a little old. Hopefully, things will be better next year.

That being said, yes, passing is not important, but it sure feels good when you do! I can recall many occasions when I got that warm fuzzy feeling because I knew I had just passed and that never gets old.

Like the time shopping in JCPenney when a woman approached me and asked, “Can I ask you a question?”

I had no idea what she was going to ask (“What time is it?” “Where did you buy your shoes?” “Are you a transvestite?”). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

“You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying.”

Wow! I certainly did not see that coming!

We discussed the merits of the slacks. I did not like what she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like what she had picked out and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind and her eyes lit up as she said, “I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help.”

“Good luck,” I said. Then I took a deep breath and screamed to myself, “Oh, my God!”

Wearing Bebe

Miss Keith – another one of the “Millions” on the Internet

I Never was a Man

Velma kindly sent me an article, Until I Was a Man, I Had No Idea How Good Men Had It at Work, written by a transman about how he was treated at work as a cisgender female, compared to how he is now treated as a man. In two words, “no comparison.”

As a male who oozed femininity, I did not experience the male privileges that my male co-workers experienced. As a feminine being, I was treated more like my female co-workers. 

All my life, I was a feminine being and growing up, I suffered the slings and arrows of my bullies for being so. At least in the workplace, the bullies had to constrain their mistreatment to some degree, so work offered relief from the nonsense that this feminine boy suffered out among the civilians, as long as I did not mind forfeiting male privilege and just be like one of the girls. 

It is no wonder that presenting as a woman was a perfect match for me. 

And so it goes.

Wearing ModCloth

Stefania Visconti

Interview with Me

Monika has posted an interview with me on her blog The Heroines of My Life. I had fun participating in the interview and I hope you enjoy reading it. And I want to thank Monika for choosing me and conducting the interview.

Click here to read the interview.

Reviewing the New Payless

If you have been following along here for awhile, you know that I was a big fan of Payless shoes. (Last count, I own 47 pairs.) So it was no surprise that I was sad when they went out of business last year.

But, earlier this year, Payless announced that they were back in business and during the summer, they launched a new website. 

I was curious about the new Payless and wondered how it compared to the old. So I perused their website frequently, but did not find anything I needed until last week, when I saw a pair of heels that I just had to have – royal blue patent pumps. 

I ordered my size and the $29.99 shoe only cost $20.99 with their 12 days of Christmas discount. Shipping was free and I received my order three days later via UPS.

When my ordered arrived, I opened the package as quick as a Playboy bunny and noted the quality of my purchase. Belying their price, the shoes were not cheap – they are a good quality shoe, as good if not better than the old Payless products.

The proof is in the footing, so I slipped on a pair of knee highs, slipped on my new shoes and tried them on for about four hours. They were very comfortable throughout the tryout and I had no problem maneuvering in their three-inch heel. 

Overall, I am very pleased with my first purchase from the new Payless.

Their website needs a little work, though. They show the colors of the shoes you can purchase, but don't name the colors. Just showing pictures of the available colors does not suffice; they need to add the names of the colors, too.

Also, I believe there is an error in the description of their Fioni pumps. No way do they have 2-inch kitten heels. They look more like 4-inch stiletto heels.

Wearing Rotate

Another one of the “Millions” on the Internet

Someday Funnies

Wearing New York & Company

Billy House femulated in the 1937 film Merry-Go-Round of 1938.
Thank-you Chrissy for the femulation in this film, which you can view on YouTube.

Millions

Search for crossdressers on Pinterest, Reddit, TikTok, flickr, Instagram, YouTube, etc. and you will be inundated with images and videos of girls like us – thousands, if not millions of them! Young girls, middle-aged women and senior ladies – we come in all shapes, sizes and ages and our online community is growing larger everyday. 

There is a little girl in every boy and until recently, that girl was locked away, never to see the light of day. Now femulating no longer has the stigma it had in the past. And encouraged by femulating peers, more and more boys are letting their girl out. 

Girls are coming out of the closet by posting their images online. Some stray further out of the closet posting images of them out among the civilians. 

Going out among the civilians acclimates society to what we do. Seeing a femulator out and about is no longer the rarity it was 10 or 20 years ago and such sightings encourage civilians, who may have an itch to femulate, to try it themselves.

Girls just want to have fun and once a boy discovers how much fun it is to be a girl, it is harder and harder to put their girl back in the closet after tasting her lipstick.

For years, females have had the freedom to be as boyish as they desire. I believe that society has reached a point where males now have the freedom to be as girlish as they desire. Many boys don't realize it yet, but as they become more aware, girls like us will be everywhere.  

Wearing Rachel Zoe

One of the “Millions” on the Internet

Throwback Thursday: My Quest

Another post from the past – nearly nine years ago, December 14, 2011.

In 1983, I purged everything related to femulating.

Not only did I discard replaceable items like clothing, wigs, makeup, etc., I also discarded irreplaceable items, primarily my collection of photographs. As a result, I no longer own a single photo of myself en femme prior to age 32.

Starla has been scouring the Internet searching online high school yearbooks for photos of high school femulations. She has sent me her findings and I have posted some of them here in the past.

Last week, it occurred to me that there were yearbook photos of me en femme (at the ripe old age of 25) attending my law school’s Halloween party. I lost the yearbook (it went out with everything else in the great purge of 1983), but I wondered if Starla could find it online.

I asked her, but after searching her resources, she responded that she could not find it. She explained that the majority of online yearbooks are of the high school variety; only a few college and graduate school yearbooks are online. She suggested contacting my law school.

I phoned the law school library and asked if they had the yearbook in their stacks. They checked and as it turned out, they had it! They welcomed me to visit the library to view it and photocopy anything I wanted.

Wednesday, I dressed en femme. I wore my black dress with the sequins pattern at the neckline that I bought from Ideeli, nude pantyhose, my new Nine West patent red and black Mary Janes, a new matching red bag from ShoeDazzle, earrings, bracelet, and watch. I topped everything off with my white fake fur coat and was off to Springfield to visit my alma mater.

(I might mention here that although I graduated from law school, I never practiced in the profession – not for one second. My first love was writing and while I waited for the results of the bar exam, I got a job as a writer and never looked back.)

An hour later, I arrived at the law school, parked the Subaru and walked to the school entrance.

There was a security guard station at the entrance. The library is not open to the general public; only students, alumni, faculty, and attorneys can gain admittance. I explained to the guard that I was an alumnus and she asked me for a photo ID. As I extracted my driver’s license from my purse, I told the guard that I was trans and that I looked a little different than the photo on the ID.

She said, “You're not the first.”

After she logged me in, I walked down the hall to the library. It was deserted. Final exams were underway and I assumed most of the students were in the classrooms filling up blue books. (Do they still use blue books?)

The library staff had set the yearbook aside for me, so they did not have to search the stacks again. I just had to fill out a simple form to borrow the book.

I found a comfy chair in the library lounge to cuddle up with the book and recall the past. I was sure that there were two candid photos of me attending that Halloween party 35 years ago en femme and I was a correct.

I wish I had my computer scanner to copy the photos, but all I had access to was a copying machine. I did my best adjusting the darkness to capture the best image and the result accompanies this post.

By the way, you find me in the photos wearing my first wig (purchased at a local Frederick’s of Hollywood store), my mother’s skirt (that I borrowed surreptitiously), my own boy mode sweater, a blouse of unknown origin and my first pair of Mary Janes.

And I was so young – so young that it brings tears to my eyes!

My Wednesday en femme did not end at the copying machine in my alma mater's law library.

As I exited the law school, I asked the security guard, who had been very personable so far, if she would take my photo. She was happy to do so and was even willing to go outdoors to take it.

It was a beautiful December day, so we decided to do the photoshoot outdoors. The photo accompanying this post is from that shoot.

I thanked her for her hospitality and left the school. I drove home and my day en femme was over.

All the people (male and female) who I encountered were polite, often friendly and always helpful when I needed their assistance. I don’t know if I passed or not and whether passing had anything to do with their reaction to me.

I have reached a stage in my life in which passing is not a deal breaker.

When I prepare to go out, I do my best to be passable. I try to be impeccable in my dress and makeup and make sure that there is not a hair out of place, but once I am out the door, I stop being concerned about passing.

I used to be very shy when I was en femme fearing that everyone I encountered would read me. If they seemed ok with me, then I would open up and be more like myself, but if they were not ok with me, I would get out of Dodge as quickly as possible

Now, I am personable to everyone I encounter. I don't wait to see how they react to me. I believe that by being personable and outgoing, it surprises people and they react positively whether they read me or not.

And I don't even think about it. That's the way I am in boy mode and now that I am free of the shackles of passing, I can also be myself in girl mode.

Wearing New York & Company

A Liverpool lad femulating in a 2018 stage production of Bugsy Malone