Short Shorts

Good News About Shoes Dept.

A number of readers relayed the following news to me. (Thank-you, all.)

“Payless said in a news release on Thursday that it has emerged from Chapter 11 bankruptcy with a plan to re-enter the shoe market in the United States. That reportedly includes relaunching an e-commerce site and opening some physical stores.

“Payless did not have any immediate details to share about a timeline or where the new stores would be located.”

Blushing Boy Bride Dept.

Typically, when I watch a film on television, I read the trivia about that film on IMDB. So while watching Saturday Night Fever this past Saturday night, I found this tidbit, “Letting off steam at the end of the shoot, John Travolta and members of the crew filmed a mock wedding at the disco, for laughs, with John dressed as the bride and one of the grips appearing as the groom.”

Mystery TV TV Dept.

Last Wednesday, I asked if anyone knew the source of a photo I found depicting a femulation from an unknown (by me) television show. A number of readers responded and as Julie succinctly put it, “The picture is from an NBC television program California Dreams, an episode titled ‘Wooing Woo,’ season 2, episode 4, first broadcast on September 25, 1993. You can watch the full episode on YouTube.”

Wearing Nine West

Diego Serrano femulating in the 1999 film The 24 Hour Woman, The plot of the film involves a daytime talk show with female and male (Serrano) co-hosts. Serrano crossdresses because for one airing of the talk show, the cast and crew swap genders.

Aaron Hernandez

Friday night, I watched all three episodes of Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez, a Netflix documentary that examines how Aaron Hernandez went from a pro football star to a convicted killer. (I started the evening off watching The Hustle, a comedy starring Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson, but it was so bad that I switched to Netflix after watching about 30 minutes of the Hathaway-Wilson stinker.)

I don't usually watch documentaries or news stories about murderers, but I have some personal connections to the the Hernandez story.

Besides Hernandez being a New England Patriot and me being a Patriots fan, he lived just down the road from me, so his old stomping grounds were my stomping grounds. A friend of mine was his Little League coach and the son of another acquaintance was one of his best friends. The Hernandez family doesn't know me from Eve, but I used to encounter his brother grocery shopping of all places! That's why I watched the program.

I enjoyed seeing nearby places in the film including the grocery store where I used to run into Hernandez's brother, but otherwise, the film presented a very sad story. Besides being beaten by his abusive father, Aaron had to hide deep in the closet because he was a homosexual.

How many of us experienced life in the closet? My parents were far from abusive and never beat me, but I hid in the closet because I thought that coming out to them as trans would disappoint them to say the least.

Older and a little wiser now, I realize that my parents loved me unconditionally and that they would have been ok with my big secret. In fact, I am sure my mother knew about it and tried to meet me half way to talk about it to the day she died.

I so regret not accepting her invitation, but it was only after she passed that I realized what she was trying to do. What a dumbbell I was!

Wearing Chelsea and Walker

Femulating Paolo Ballesteros, Christian Bables and Martin del Rosario in the 2019 Filipino film The Panti Sisters

Someday Funnies

Wearing Madeleine

Drew Pillsbury femulates in a 1994 episode of television’s Married With Children.

My Dream Job

When I was a kid, adults often asked me (just like they probably asked you), “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I would answer with a definitive, “I dunno.”

In reality, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I didn't dare tell anyone because I wanted to be a female impersonator (or FI, for short).

Female impersonation is not the kind of career choice that is going to make Uncle Joe or Aunt Nellie proud of their nephew, so I kept a lid on my dreams and never ran away from home to join the Jewel Box Revue.

I regret that decision now, but I try to make up for it as often as possible by femulating. I also live the life of a female impersonator vicariously by reading about the subject as often as I can.

If you are interested in old school female impersonation, I recommend a couple of sites on the Internet that deal with its history:

Drag Artists & Female Impersonators, which is part of JD Doyle's Queer Music Heritage website.

David de Alba's website – Alba was a female impersonator and his website includes interviews pictorial tributes of other female impersonators.

Wearing Bebe

Mr. Dori D'Or, professional femulator, circa 1950

Dress Code

Seven years ago when I was still working, Human Resources sent an e-mail titled “Dress Code.”

We expect you to report for work in appropriate attire. The image projected by personnel is important to our company’s success. Even though we have adopted a casual dress code policy, you should exercise discretion in selecting clothes suited to a casual business environment.

For example, the following are not appropriate attire for an office environment:

•    Backless or see-through shirts and/or styles that expose the abdomen, excessive skin or undergarments

•    Ripped/torn clothing or jeans and low-rise styles that expose excessive skin/undergarments

•    Miniskirts/dresses, short shorts and cut-offs shorts

•    Stretch/stirrup pants/leggings unless combined w/mid-thigh length top

•    Visible foundation garments, low cut and/or suggestive clothing

•    Clothing that is unwashed or stained

•    Bare feet, over the knee boots and beach shoes (rubber flip-flops)

Ouch - My wardrobe resembles some of that banned attire!

Leaving work yesterday, I mentioned to the receptionist that I will have to start abiding by the dress code.

“No miniskirts for me tomorrow,” I remarked.

She laughed.

If she only knew!

👠 👠 👠

For today's post, I considered changing the Femulate Her icon to the Femulate Him icon because the model in the Femulate Her slot looks so boyish.

👠 👠 👠

I was unable to confirm that Linda Grant in today's Femulator slot is actually a femulator. She is quite tall and her voice is borderline feminine, but I could find nothing on the Internet about her. If you know anything about Miss Grant, please let me know.

Wearing Price

Linda Grant femulating on a 1972 episode of UK television's Braden's Week.
(View Linda's appearance here; thank-you, Stephanie for this find.)

Woden's Day

Giving Thanks Dept.

I want to publicly thank my readers who have contributed to my Coffee Break fund. Your contributions help to keep this blog free of advertisements and gives me an incentive to keep on blogging. So, thank-you!

Google This Dept.

Recently, Mikki wrote, “I love all those clips from films you share with us. I have a bunch of TG/CD films and see items on Femulate that I haven't heard of. Do you have a special source for these photos/films? Can you share it with me?”

I replied, “Occasionally, readers alert me to femulations they encounter watching films and television, but I find most of them myself using Google.”

Google searches for “crossdressing films” or “drag films” sometimes turns up something new, but usually I use a femulation I know to bait Google into giving up other femulations. For example, if I Google “tony curtis crossdressing,” Google comes back with a load of images of Curtis and Jack Lemmon crossdressing in the film Some Like It Hot, as well as images of other actors crossdressing in other films and on television. I will be familiar with most of Google's finds, but there is almost always an image or two I don't recognize, which becomes new fodder for the Femulator slot, like the film femulation below.

Meanwhile, the image at the top of the post is another Google find, but there was no information about its source. Looks like it's from a television show geared towards school-aged kids, but I could be wrong. Can anybody solve this mystery femulation?

My Quest Dept.

In yesterday's post, I mentioned that after my purge in 1983, I no longer owned a single photo of myself en femme prior to age 32... or so I thought.

Fiona reminded me that years ago, I recalled that there were photos of me en femme for Halloween at age 25 that appeared in my school's yearbook. The yearbook was lost in the purge, but you can read about my quest for those yearbook photos in this post from December 2011.

Wearing Venus

Max Hansen (center) femulates Gitta Alpar (right) in the 1932 German film Die, oder Keine.
(View a pertinent clip from the film here.)

The Great Purge of 1983

I have been femulating for most of my life and I only purged once, so I called it “The Great Purge of 1983.”

In the trans timeline, 1983 was Mesozoic. There was no Internet and there was very little published information on the subject. We were flying in the dark and grasped any bit of information we could find.

One legend was that you would stop femulating when you fell in love and got married. I bought into that legend because I stopped femulating after meeting and falling in love with my future wife and did not femulate for over two years while we dated and became engaged.

About a week before our wedding, I purged everything because I assumed I was done with femulating. Not only did I discard replaceable items like clothing, wigs, makeup, etc., I also discarded irreplaceable items, primarily my collection of self-taken photographs. As a result, I no longer own a single photo of myself en femme prior to age 32.

Our wedding was in late September. One month later, we were invited to a Halloween party and I dressed as a woman.

And so it goes.

Natalee

Harvey Korman (center row, left) femulating on a 1969 episode of television's The Carol Burnett Show

Barn Back

Good news, girls!

I received a text on Saturday informing me that Dressbarn is back with an online store.

I perused their website and noticed that the selection is limited – nowhere near the selection found on the old Dress Barn website. I imagine that in the future, there will be more for milady to choose from.

By the way, they are offering a 15% discount if you sign up for their emails and texts.

Wearing Madeleine

University of Wisconsin-Madison Haresfoot Club femulator, circa 1920

Someday Funnies

Wearing Venus

British sister and brother act, Ria Jones and Ceri Dupree

In my neck of the woods

Across the street from my home is about 5000 acres of forested land. Most of it is owned by a nearby municipality's reservoir company. A smaller portion is owned by a local hunting club.

Either way, I will never have prying neighbors living across the street seeing me leave or return home en femme. The woods also helps me maintain my girlish figure.

Most mornings this time of year, I hike the woods for an hour. All the vegetation is defrocked and the wetlands are frozen, so that makes it easier to move around. And the season is over for the game that the hunting club chases, so I don't have to worry about a hunter mistaking me for a dodo.

Hiking through the woods is much better exercise than hiking the local highways and byways, which is what I have to do when hiking in the woods becomes inhospitable. My body feels it after a hike through the woods... not so much after a hike on pavement.

Besides better exercise, hiking through the woods is more interesting. Occasionally, I encounter wildlife and there are the foundations of abandoned homes to explore. And there are some spectacular views in my neighborhood, which is the highest point in the county. There is one clearing where I can literally see the whole width of the state of Connecticut – from Long Island Sound to the mountains in central Massachusetts.

In the spring, I will have to return to hiking on pavement as the wetlands thaw out and the vegetation begins blooming. It is not as interesting as hiking through the woods, but it is less wear and tear on my high heels.

Wearing Bebe

Femulating in Weimar (pre-Nazi) Germany