My father has been dead for over 30 years, but I think of him often. He was a great guy and I know he loved me, but I think he was a little uncomfortable around me because I was not a typical "boy" and because he saw me crossdressed for Halloween on a couple of occasions. On the other hand, when I crossdressed on Halloween, I remember my Dad warning me to be careful because other males might hit on me.
When my wife was pregnant, I hoped that our baby would be female because I feared that I might not be an adequate role model for a son. I was very relieved when a daughter showed up instead of a son. Turns out that my daughter has been very supportive of my transness; who knows if a son would have been the same.
As a father myself, I'd prefer to dress like a mother. Such is the paradoxical life of a transwoman on Father's Day.
When a person transitions from male to female and is a parent, how is Father’s Day celebrated? WEKU’s Cheri Lawson talked with three transgender women who are also parents.
Apply your moisturizer first, then apply Perfector over your moisturizer after your skin has absorbed your moisturizer.
You can use Perfector as your foundation, which is what I do, or if you insist on using a foundation, apply it over Perfector after it has dried.
Going Fishing Dept.
Femulators need more makeup than females to look female, so get a big makeup box to store your makeup. Don't be shy about buying the biggest box you can find or afford. If the box is not full now, trust me, you will fill it eventually.
When I outgrew the last makeup box, I went to the sporting goods department of my local Walmart and bought the biggest tackle box that they sold. to store my makeup.
A woman's got to know her limitations, so whenever I start outgrowing my makeup tackle box, it's time to do some spring cleaning and discard the makeup I never use and the makeup that is too old to use.
I have been using this product for over two years. It is a two-part system. The tub includes a gel for your eyelids and brow bone and a cream for under your eyes. I apply it every morning after I cleanse my face. It keeps my eyelids tight/firm and reduces the appearance of wrinkles, especially crow's feet around my eyes.
This is a primer for the face that I apply every morning whether I will be femulating or not. It goes on silky smooth and leaves a powder soft, matte finish on my face, while hiding small imperfections, too. It is also a sunscreen. Try it once and you will use it everyday.
Eye shadow primer is a great invention and I recommend Smashbox's version. If you use eyeshadow, but have never used a shadow primer, you should. Before I began using a primer, my eyeshadow would break down during the day and stopped resembling what I had applied that morning. Using a primer, "locked" my eyeshadow in place; it looked the same at the end of the day as it did when I applied it. I can't confirm Smashbox's 24-hour claim, but it worked for me for over 18 hours on a number of occasions.
I admit that I am relatively new to liquid eyeliner, so I have not tried a lot of products, but after trying Lancome's version, there is no point in trying anything else. It's like butter! It goes on so smoothly that it makes applying liquid eyeliner an easy task!
Like their eyeliner, Lancome's mascara is like butter. It goes on smoothly and it's intense, black volumizing characteristics create full-body, high-volume lashes. Unlike other brands I have used, a single stroke of Lancome mascara is enough; a second stroke is like carrying coals to Newcastle.
In addition to being disappointed about not attending my high school class reunion as a woman, I was also upset that I was disappointing all my blog's readers and I apologize for that.
There was talk at the reunion about getting together and doing it again when we all turn 70 years old. I am not holding my breath knowing my class' poor track record regarding reunions, but if it does occur, it will give me a second chance.
A few of my old tormentors were in attendance, but I did not socialize with them even though all but one seemed to be on good their behavior. However, the "one" was still the boorish lout he was in high school.
By the way, no one attended crossdressed, but a lot of people were disguised as old people!
Video Redux Dept.
If you have not seen it, the video of my presentation at last month's Hamvention is now viewable here on YouTube.
A ham radio operator who did see it, wrote the following.
I first ventured into Packet as soon as I earned my tech license. But getting started was difficult. No one in my circle of friends knew anything about packet setup, but a digi atop a 2700 foot mountain was incentive enough. So I drove to the Tigard HRO store and bought a book on the subject published by wa1lou. The information in the book explained the pin out for cables, what the settings should be, and go me on the air with a DOS machine, a Radio Shack 202, and a used MFJ 1278 TNC. And I've followed this author, Stanley, throughout the past 30 years. A few years ago wa1lou became editor of the TAPR newsletter. So this year, when TAPR emailed me the forum schedules I took a look did I ever find a surprise: Stanley, wa1lou, looks and sounds like a woman. And carries a purse. It's okay by me. Gender never crossed my mind. I'll still read everything she offers because even though she claims she's not high-tech she can sure simplify the path to success.
I spent most of Saturday helping a relative on a home repair project. It took much longer than expected, so by the time I returned home, I just had time to swap my jeans and T-shirt for slacks and a polo shirt. There was no time to shave everywhere, do my hair and makeup and get fabulously dressed for my high school class reunion.
Needless to say, I am very disappointed about not going to the reunion as a woman. I just have to be satisfied knowing that I would have been one of the better looking woman in attendance (my classmates did not age well).
On the other hand, it was great seeing high school friends and acquaintances who I have not seen in half a century and I had a great time.
Mikki commented on Thursday's "Neighbors" post, "You didn't address the 'consequences' of your neighbors seeing Stana. Would there be any at all? Would there be some sort of 'cost' if this happened?
I did not mention any consequences because there are none.
We don't socialize much with our neighbors. A wave hello is about the extent of it. If something is wrong, we know who to call (like when one neighbor was away and his burglar alarm sounded, I called his brother who lives down the road). I assume they would do the same for me.
Hamming It Up Dept.
The video of my presentation at this year's Hamvention is now on YouTube here.
My goal was to lose more weight for my high school class reunion. When I got on the scale yesterday morning, I discovered I had lost another five pounds!
I wondered how the dress I purchased for the reunion would look and fit now that I was five pounds lighter. So I slipped on my shapewear, hosiery, heels and the dress I purchased from New York & Company.
It fit perfectly, but when I looked in the mirror, it did not knock my socks off.
While I was waiting for that dress to go on sale, I had purchased another dress, a Calvin Klein floral scuba shift dress, to wear to the reunion in case the New York & Company dress did not go on sale. The Calvin Klein looked fab when I tried it on at Dress Barn, so I slipped out of the New York & Company dress and slipped into the Calvin Klein.
Right away I noticed that the zipper zipped up without effort as compared to struggling with the zipper when I tried it on at Dress Barn. That was a good sign.
And just like the New York & Company dress, the Calvin Klein dress fit perfectly, but when I looked in the mirror, unlike the New York & Company dress, the Calvin Klein dress knocked my socks off! So much so that I changed my plans and decided to wear the Calvin Klein to the reunion.
All I have to do is figure out which shoes and bag to wear with the dress.
Good news is that my wife does not mind that I go out as a woman. While discussing the matter, though, she has asked, "Aren't you afraid of being seen by the neighbors?"
Not at all. Across the street are hundreds of acres of virgin reservoir property, so my nearest neighbors are the birds, the bees and the bears. And the neighbors in their acre lots east and west of our acre lot would have a difficult time seeing me come and gobecause we are so treed-in.
However, I am fairly certain that on a handful of occasions, neighbors have seen me en femme as our vehicles passed each other on the main road in and out of our neighborhood. Don't know whether they figured out it was me en femme or if they thought that some female was borrowing my car.
I do believe that one female neighbor thought she figured me out. A few weeks after our vehicles passed each other while I was dressed to kill, I encountered her while we were walking our dogs. We stopped and chatted briefly, then out of the blue she said, "I see you're wearing pantyhose."
I can't recall if she said "pantyhose" or "knee-highs" or "nylons" or whatever... in any case, she was intimating that I was wearing women's hosiery even though I was in boy mode.
I looked down at my feet trying to figure out why she said that and I saw my feet in a pair of men's socks that were colored light beige. So I looked at her as if she had lobsters crawling out of her ears and said, "No, I'm wearing beige socks."
I should have asked her why she would think I'd be wearing women's hosiery, but I was so glad to have side-stepped her gotcha that I just went on my merry way.
Eye makeup to die for!
The 1929 installment of the Washington State Kiwanis Follies featured these lovely femulators competing in a beauty pageant.
To play Devil's advocate. From your blog it seems that your H.S classmates were very harsh to you and are not worthy of your time.
Just curious, but what do you hope to achieve by attending your H.S. reunion enfemme? Is it to flaunt your femininity and feminine self to their face and show them you survived? Something else?
Your appearance enfemme might only result in possible embarrassment to your wife, sister and/or daughter, and it might confirm to the bigoted originators of the bullying statements that they were right all along in the comments they made to you in H.S.
Your Law School reunion went very well but college is different than H.S. H.S. students are young and bigoted and may not be forgiving - they were and can still be very cruel. I would not want you or your family to be hurt.
Here is my reply.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments.
My law school and college days were not much different than my high school days. I was treated poorly by some of my law school and college classmates just like my high school classmates. Luckily, none of my tormentors showed up at my law school reunion.
So what do I hope to achieve by attending my high school reunion en femme?
High school was not all gloom and doom. I had a lot of good friends and I hope that some of them will show up so I can introduce them to the real me. I want to have a good time and I know I will have a good time if my old friends show up and accept me as a woman.
As far as any of my tormentors are concerned, I will flaunt my femininity in their face, but I will not give them the time of day.
And by the way, two of my tormentors will be no-shows because they are dead and buried.
Revisiting "Another Reunion"
Yesterday's post titled "Another Reunion" was about my law school reunion in 2012, not about my high school class reunion that is scheduled for this Saturday, June 8.
I stopped counting the number of people who thought yesterday's post was about my high school class reunion, which hasn't taken place yet!
Seven years ago this past Sunday, I attended my law school reunion. So as I anticipate attending my high school class reunion this Saturday, I thought it would be appropriate to look back at what occurred seven years ago when I attended my very first reunion.
Ready to go to the Hall of Fame
My law school reunion experience in 2012 was just fabulous.
For those of you out of the loop, on Saturday evening, I attended my law school reunion at the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Massachusetts.
Getting ready yesterday afternoon, I cut myself badly using a new blade in my razor. It was a deep cut just under my left nostril and it took forever to stop bleeding. As a result, it took me longer to do my makeup, initially working around the cut, then waiting for the bleeding to stop. Luckily, I started doing my makeup early enough so that any technical difficulties would not affect my arrival time at the Hall of Fame.
I was dressed and out the door (after snapping a few photos) at 4:45 PM to make the 50-mile trip by 6 PM when the cocktail hour began. On the way, the traffic message boards on the interstate informed me that the exit I had to take to switch from I-84 to I-91 was closed and it recommended a detour via another highway.
I thought about driving to an exit before the closed exit and trying to work my way to an I-91 entrance, but I was familiar with the recommended detour and figured I would only lose 10 minutes, whereas who knew how much time Plan A would cost me. So I took the detour and lost about 20 minutes instead of 10.
The rest of the trip was smooth-sailing and I arrived at the Hall of Fame at 5:55 PM — perfect timing!
I entered the Hall of Fame complex and quickly found the site of the reunion. I was in error in that I thought that the reunion would be held in the Center Court banquet hall. Instead, it took place in a smaller banquet hall in the complex. It was not as spectacular as I pictured the Center Court, but it was very nice nonetheless.
I checked in and immediately encountered the woman who I had exchanged a few e-mails with concerning the reunion. I introduced myself; she welcomed me and helped me find my name badge.
There were about 20 people already in attendance. I recognized one of my classmates, CR, a woman who I considered an acquaintance, not a long lost friend. I said hello to her and she returned a hello, while looking at my name badge trying to figure out who I was (the badge listed Stana, my real last name, and my class year, 1977).
She was carrying a copy of our class yearbook, so I suggested she look me up in the yearbook to refresh her memory. She did and when she put two-and-two together, she exclaimed, "Oh my god! Stanley, you are beautiful now!"
She gushed over how I had changed and then we chatted a bit trying to catch up on the past 35 years in five minutes. Then she was distracted by another person, who I did not recognize, so I went to the bar and got a glass of white wine.
My classmates and I
I mingled with myself for about five minutes, then CR came around again and pointed me in the direction of a table where other 1977 classmates were gathering, so I headed in that direction. There I found two other female school acquaintances (PM and LF) and one of my best friends (JB) and his wife.
An aside, as it turned out, there were nine people in my class who made it to the reunion. Four women and five men. All the women came solo and all five men came with their wives. I believe that the three other women are unattached.
Both PM and LF welcomed me with open arms as if we were old girlfriends and not just acquaintances (I think CR had informed them of my presence before I found their table, so they were expecting me). I did not recognize JB immediately, but when I realized it was my old friend, I greeted him warmly and gave him a hug. His wife, EB, introduced herself and she was very welcoming, too. We all exchanged our stories about the last 35 years, but the women were more interested in hearing my story rather than telling theirs to me. So as not to disappoint, I obliged and held an impromptu outreach session.
Another friend, MM, showed up and he greeted me like the old friends we were.
The cocktail hour flew by and before I knew it, PM was beckoning me to join her at the 1977 table in the dining room. I sat down next to PM and we chatted forever, mostly about me. She assumed that I was a post-op transsexual and I explained that I was not. Actually, everyone I talked to about being transgender assumed I was post-op and I explained to all of them that I was not.
PM said that I was undoubtedly a woman and that I was more of a woman than she was! She said she never felt like a "woman" and was not sure what it meant to feel like a woman. I basically said we are what we are, but society pigeonholes us as "men" or "women" according to their "standards."
After dinner, which by the way, was excellent, I had a long discussion with EB about being transgender. EB is in the entertainment industry in the City and as a result, she is familiar with transgenders and knows where I am coming from more or less.
I mentioned to her that her husband, JB, was the person who told me at the law school Halloween party 36 years ago, that he never realized how feminine I was until he saw me in my costume en femme and realized that it was such a good fit for me and my personality, mannerisms, etc.
MM sat down next to me to chat a bit and said that I was very brave to do what I did. And I replied with my standard comeback to the bravery comment, that is, I don't consider it brave to be yourself… to be what who you are. But he said I was too modest and that if he was in the same situation, he doubted if he could do what I did. Maybe, maybe not, but it was very nice of MM to say what he did. In fact, I received nothing but support and positive words from all my classmates.
I did not mix much with the other attendees; there was not much time to do so. But early on, one woman from the class of 2006 introduced herself and we had a short chat about what we had in common, that is, the mispronunciation of our first names. Her name is Zoe and people call her Zo or Zo-ee. About half the people pronounced my name correctly (rhymes with Donna) and the other half got it wrong, but I don't mind.
The only other non-classmate I recall speaking with was a professor who dined at our table and sat right next to me. He began teaching at the school the year after I graduated, so he did not know me from the school, but I asked him about what happened to some of the people I worked with way back when (I worked in the library while attending law school) and he tried to fill me in on what he remembered (not much as it turned out).
The evening ended much too quickly and I was on my way home at 10:30 PM.
I had a wonderful time to put it mildly!
I hope my high school reunion on Saturday is just as wonderful!
