On the Fence

At my law school reunion, June 2012

I have received lots of advice about attending my high school reunion as a woman or not.

The advice is running about 4:1 in favor of going as a woman. Some of you changed your opinion from "no go" to "go" when I mentioned in my second post that my wife was not attending, so I counted you in the "go" column.

Some of your comments follow.

When faced with the opportunity to go to her reunion as a woman, Trish decided, "...that since I haven't transitioned, it would be misleading to go to my reunion presenting as female --- although some of my classmates do know I'm transgender."

For what it's worth, I have almost no contact with my classmates and I am 100% confident that none of them know I am trans.

Katherine wrote, "Other than 'throwing our traniness in their face and in the face of others' what would be accomplished by your attending en femme? You go out in public and are accepted anytime you want to. I think it would be best for 'them' [my family] for you to attend as Stan and continue to be the understanding, compassionate family man that you are and that you write about."

Joe was a "go":

Look at you! You're Beautiful! A 50 year reunion, means you must be around 67 years old [I'm 68]? You look amazing for a woman of your age! I think it would be a crime not to share yourself with your old classmates.

In a similar vein, Faith wrote:

You should just go! Be you. Be out and be proud. A while back on pride, I posted to social media: To all the bullies who used to harass me and beat me up and call me gay, well, you were right. But you were still assholes!

I have seen recent photos of some of my classmates — the girls who would not consider dating me under any circumstances and the guys who bullied me because I was not a manly man. To put it nicely as possible, they are not as well-preserved as I am and I would love to see their jaws drop when they realize I am the "beautiful" stranger attending their reunion.

Stacey wrote, "My wise friend told me that no matter what you do/what you are for that you will always have someone against it and that as long as what you do/what you are for doesn't hurt anyone then who cares what they think or say."

I have not decided whether to go to the reunion as a woman or as Stan. I have over six weeks to decide and knowing me, I will make up my mind at the last minute.

Anyway, I won't bore you with this anymore, but I will let you know when I make up my mind. Again, thank you all for your input.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Lee Ingleby femulating in British television's Fairy Tales.

Trump poised to roll back transgender health protections

War on Transgenders Continues

"A proposed rule from the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) that’s expected in the coming days would make it easier for doctors, hospitals and insurance companies to deny care or coverage to transgender patients, as well as women who have had abortions.

"The administration hinted in a recent court filing that new health regulations could be published as soon as next week. The rule is expected to weaken or eliminate an anti-discrimination provision enshrined in ObamaCare.

"The provision says patients cannot be turned away because they are transgender, nor can they be denied coverage if they need a service that’s related to their transgender status."

Read the rest of the story here on The Hill.

High School Reunion: Further Thoughts

Holiday Inn's infamous high school reunion advertisement

Thank you for all for your advice about attending my high school reunion as a woman (or not). Your comments have given me some food for thought and here is what I think.

I should have mentioned in my original post that my wife will not be attending the reunion. She finds my reunions boring because she does not know anyone in my class and feels that the $75 sticker price is a waste of money as far as she is concerned. So she will not be in attendance (and possibly be embarrassed or pitied or questioned about my presentation).

My sister and I are very close, but she has never supported me with regards to my transness. After I came out to her, she was initially surprised and upset by the news and since then, she has never mentioned it. (Out if sight, out of mind.) So why should I be concerned about embarrassing her if I attend the reunion as a woman? For that matter, why should she be embarrassed since she does not seem to care much about my transness.

So I am seriously leaning towards going as a woman. Like Velma advised, "JUST DO IT! Ten years from 'now,' nobody will remember or care what YOU did; except you. Those that DO remember you will RESPECT YOU for your courage to be YOURSELF."

In a similar vein, Rhonda advised, "Do it - you will regret not doing it." I already have a collection of life's regrets and I don't want to add another one to the pile.

Other Thoughts

My high school was a Roman Catholic high school. There were a handful of very religious classmates, but in general, I did not find my Catholic high school classmates much different than my public grammar school classmates. Probably because most of my public grammar school classmates were also Catholic.

That being said, the Catholic religion is notorious for being transphobic. However, I have found that Catholic civilians are no more transphobic than the general population. How this plays out among my Catholic classmates remains to be seen, but my guess is that they will follow the trends of the general population. And I suspect that my female classmates will be more supportive than my male classmates.

Speaking of my male classmates, I had a lot of friends in high school, both male and female, however, most of the jocks were not among my friends. They verbally abused me with regards to my natural femininity. Showing up at my reunion as a woman will prove that they were correct in recognizing my femininity, but were just very rude in the way they acknowledged it.

(Source: Vogue.com)

Mart Müürisepp femulating Nancy Sinatra on Estonian television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Etienne Aigner bag and shoes (Source: Etienne Aigner)

Happy Easter, Doc!

High School Reunion

My high school class is celebrating its 50th anniversary the year with a reunion in June. I attended my law school reunion as a woman in 2012. I had a fabulous time and would like to attend my high school reunion as a woman, too, but I am hesitant about doing so.

I have no qualms about facing my classmates as a woman. I am hesitant because I worry about embarrassing my wife and sister. Both attended my high school one year behind me. People in my class know people in their class and you know how people like to talk.

The reunion is in early June, so I have time to decide. I know what I want to do, but I don't know what to do.

Wearing Seeya (Source: Beyond the Rack)

Ready for my law school reunion, June 2012

Shaving Legs

Good Morning Stana, 

Hope you're well and it is finally getting warm back East. 

Question??? At what age did you start to shave your legs? Did parents catch on? Smooth skin was a big revelation for me. Stockings on smooth legs is just a wonderful look and feel. Once you shave you can't go back. I had to wait till I moved out and after the Army.

Have a great Day

Bobbie

👠👠👠

Hi Bobbie,

Spring is finally springing forth in Southern New England. The daffodils and forsythia are in bloom and the snow piles have finally disappeared.

I was about 16 years old when I shaved my legs for the first time.

I had been crossdressing for about 4 years. Leg hair began sprouting about Year 2. By Year 4, I could not stand the look of matted hair under my nylon stockings, so I took a razor to my legs and removed all the hair from the hem of my miniskirt to the tips of my toes. And I continued to regularly remove my leg hair ever since.

My parents never mentioned it. My crossdressing was closeted, so they never saw my shaved legs en femme and I avoided wearing shorts en homme in the warm weather because I did not want to reveal my secret. When I first appeared among the civilians en femme for Halloween in Year 6, my shaved legs were probably the least of my parent's worries when they saw their 18-year-old son dressed like their 16-year-old daughter.

The first time anyone ever mentioned my shaved legs was when I attended a Halloween party in office girl drag in my mid-20's and the hostess was so surprised that I shaved my legs that she announced it loudly for all the party-goers to hear. I didn't care because earlier at that same party, a female party-goer asked who was the woman not wearing a costume! (She was me!)

Thank you for the great questions, Bobbie.

Wearing Etienne Aigner (Source: Etienne Aigner)

Early 20th Century professional femulator of stage and screen, Julian Eltinge.

Becoming Sheila

Femulate reader Peter suggested this "very nice video featuring the famous Sheila Wolf." I agree it is a very nice video and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Christian Clavier femulates in the 1982 French film Le père noël est une ordure.

T Lives Conference Almost Here

Next weekend is a big holiday weekend, so the weekend following it might get lost in the shuffle. The Transgender Lives Conference is on the Saturday after the Easter/Passover weekend, so I wanted to remind anyone considering attending that the Conference is fast approaching.

The Conference attracts attendees from all over the Northeast and is the biggest conference of its kind in this neck of the woods. If you can make it to the Conference, you will be rewarded with a very fulfilling day.

This link 🔗 provides all you need to know about the conference which runs all day Saturday at the UConn Health Center in Farmington, Connecticut. My presentation "Out Among the Civilians" runs for an hour between 1 and 2 PM.

I hope I will see you there!

Wearing Unique Vintage (Source: Unique Vintage)

Jack Haley (right) femulated in a lost scene from the 1945 film George White Scandals.

Quotes from Supreme Court Justices

"The liberties of none are safe unless the liberties of all are protected." – William O. Douglass

"When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free." – Charles Evan Hughes

"In recognizing the humanity of our fellow beings, we pay ourselves the highest tribute." ­– Thurgood Marshall

"I like beer. I really like beer." – Brett Kavanaugh

Someday Funnies

Love this outfit! Wearing Sergio Rossi high heels (Source: Vogue)

Alan Manson and friends femulate in the 1943 film This Is the Army.

Shoe Shopping

My latest Amazon purchase: Nine West "Epiphany" slingback pumps for $39.99

I love my shoes.

Shoes are the last item I don when I get dressed. And when I slip on my high heel pumps, it's as if my fairy godmother waves her magic wand and I suddenly feel absolutely marvelous.

I own a lot of shoes. My favorite brands are Payless and Nine West. Both have shoes in my size (12). Although Payless shoes are less expensive than Nine West shoes, Nine West's are better quality and usually real leather.

Payless will be history soon, so that leaves me with Nine West.

The local Nine West brick and mortar store never has size 12s, so I order online. Nine West prices being what they are, I only order when they have a sale. Even then their prices are typically higher than Payless normal prices, but what's a poor girl to do?

"Go to Amazon," is what a poor girl should do.

I recently discovered that Amazon has lots of Nine West shoes for sale at very attractive prices. Unless I missed something (which is possible because I often miss something), this is a recent development because when I looked for Nine West shoes on the "Big A" in the recent past, there was only a small selection.

The only catch is that the Nine West shoes on Amazon do not necessarily match what is currently available on the Nine West website. The Amazon selection is older than what you will find on Nine West online or in their brick and mortar stores, but that is OK by me. The savings, quality and real leather make up for it.

Wearing Nine West (Source: Nine West)

Brian Deacon femulates in the 1973 British film The Triple Echo.

Dreamland

Most mornings, I awake with no memory of my latest trip to Dreamland. On the other hand, approximately one in ten mornings, I do recall my latest trip and I estimate that in half my trips, I am male me and in the other half, I am female me.

My female me trips can be divided in two: either I dream that I am a woman or I dream I am femulating.

Last night, I dreamed I was femulating and it was extraordinary on two counts.

Usually my dreams include family and friends, both alive and deceased, but last night, my dream was populated by strangers.

Secondly, last night I dreamed I was getting ready to be a bridesmaid in someone's wedding. I never dreamed about being in a wedding party before, so it was nice to experience a dream with a different plot.

Two distinct memories from my bridesmaid dream: I was frantic about my wig – no matter what I did, I could not style it satisfactorily. Also I recall being upset because it  took so long to prepare for the wedding that whiskers began popping through my makeup! With that, the dream ended.

And so it goes!

Wearing Ganni (Source: Intermix)

Alan Cumming (in blue evening gown) femulates in the British television series The Runaway.

Battery Day

Lately, the batteries in my iPhone and MacBook Pro have been discharging rapidly. The iPhone is over five years old and the MacBook is over six years old, so I figured it was time to replace their original batteries.

Amazon sells replacement battery kits for $15 and $50 respectively. Both kits include all the tools required for the task.

I viewed how-to videos on YouTube. The only difficult part of the tasks seemed to be removing the old batteries, which were attached to the iPhone and MacBook cases with a two-sided tape-like adhesive. In the past, I've handled worse do-it-yourself computer tasks successfully, so I ordered the batteries from Amazon.

Saturday was Battery Day.

The iPhone battery replacement was not too bad. Working with the tiny screws with my 68-year-old eyes was the most difficult part of the task.

Removing the two-sided tape was a little tricky. You are supposed to grab the tape at one end of the battery and pull it out from under the battery, but the tape kept ripping in my fingers tips. I finally used a needle nose plier to get a good grip on the tape and pulled it out.

The job took about 30 minutes from start to finish and was a success. The iPhone is now like new with regard to its battery discharge rate.

The MacBook Pro battery replacement was easier than I expected because the glue holding the battery to the computer case had dried out over the past six years and it did not take much prying with a small chisel to free the battery. It took about 45 minutes to do the job and like the iPhone, the MacBook Pro's battery discharge rate is like new now.

I would have completed the MacBook battery replacement more quickly except that I had a big surprise when I opened the case: dust all over the interior of the computer including large dustballs, as you can see in the photo above. It took an extra 10 to 15 minutes to remove all the dust before I screwed the cover back on to the MacBook case.

I was very pleased with the results. Besides saving money, I also saved time by avoiding a visit to the Apple store.

Being read in a good way! (Source: Cellfina)

The Bigwood Twins, early 20th Century professional femulators