Sit to Pee

Ms. Stana,

How do you act when you use the ladies' restroom when you are femulating? What do you do to use the toilet when you are in a dress or skirt?

Ms. Stacey Anne Smith, Ms.Trixie and Ms. Brooke want to know!

🚽 🚽 🚽

Hi Ladies,

Your mileage may vary depending on where you live, but here in Connecticut, the courts say to use the restroom that matches your gender presentation. So Stana uses the ladies' room and Stan uses the men's room.

Under such a policy, I feel completely safe using the ladies' rooms in Connecticut. I don't give it a second thought.

Actually, I use the ladies' room wherever I find myself ― New York, Ohio, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania ― in locales that do not have Connecticut's diverse restroom policy. There is no way I am going to enter the men's room dressed to the nines in a skirt and heels! So I take a deep breath, gird my loins and use the ladies' room.

The average civilian does not examine every person they encounter to try to determine if they are trans or not. Unless the transperson presents in a way that will alert a civilian that something is amiss (or not a Miss), the transperson will blend into the background of the civilian's daily routine.

The same thing occurs when a civilian uses a restroom. They assume that all the ladies in the ladies' room are cisgender females. In fact, a non-cisgender female in the ladies' room is so foreign to civilians that it takes some doing to make them think otherwise. So if they see a tall woman in the ladies' room, they are likely to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Some girls recommend getting in and out of the ladies' room as fast as possible, but in my opinion, a woman using the ladies' room in a hurried and perhaps furtive manner may raise a few eyebrows. When I use the ladies' room, I always put my best high-heeled foot forward. I walk into the ladies' room as if I belong, do my business, wash my hands, primp in the mirror and exit when I am done. All the while, I try not to bring attention to myself by acting inappropriately.

My appearance in the ladies' room occasionally attracts attention in a positive way when another women compliments me on my appearance or asks me where I bought my shoes or whatever and I find myself engaging in a conversation with a lady in the ladies' room. How affirming is that?

Actually, I dread using the ladies' room for its intended purpose. Usually, the stalls are too tight for an Amazonian like me and it is difficult to get half undressed in that confined space, which is essentially what you have to do in order to do what you have to do; raise your dress or lower your slacks, lower your pantyhose, lower your panties and if you are wearing a girdle, you have to deal with that, too.

And after you do your business and wipe yourself, you have to get dressed in that confined space. That's why I closely check myself out in the mirror after exiting the stall to make sure everything is where it is supposed to be.

And while you are in the stall, don't put your bag on the floor ― yuck! Hang it on the hook that is usually mounted on the inside of the stall door.

And most importantly, remember to sit to pee!

Wearing Nine West (Source: Nine West)

Buster Keaton (in dark wig and dark dress) and other actors femulating in the 1930 film Doughboys.

2019 Fall-Winter Palomo Spain Menswear Collection

The six images above are from the 2019 Fall-Winter menswear collection from Palomo Spain. Wow! We've come a long way, baby!

(This is not an April Fools' Day joke! That's below.)

SPECIAL: A Monday Someday Funnies!

Wearing Ann Taylor (Source: Ann Taylor)

Kenneth Williams and Charles Hawtrey femulate in the 1960 British film Carry On Constable.

Someday Funnies

Cute early spring outfit

Contestant in the 2019 Miss Engineering womanless beauty pageant

Transgender Lives is Live

Attending the Transgender Lives Conference, April 2017

Everything you wanted to know about the upcoming Transgender Lives Conference is now online.

"The Thirteenth Annual Transgender Lives: The Intersection of Health and Law Conference being held on Saturday, April 27th at the UConn Health Center from 8:00 AM till 5 PM. This all day conference is geared towards Service Providers, Medical and Legal Professionals, Trans and Gender non-conforming community, allies and all those interested in the Health and Law issues facing the Trans and gender non-conforming communities.

"General Registration price is $25 per person (including lunch), $50 for anyone seeking CEC credits from the National Association of Social Workers of CT (NASW/CT). Can't afford it? We will have scholarships available the day of the event. The first 25 walk-ins will receive a free lunch."

👠 Online registration is available here.

👠 General information about the conference is available here.

👠 A list of workshops and presentations is available here and the workshop/presentation schedule is here.

👠 And the bios of each presenter is available here.

I will be presenting "Crossdressing Successfully in the Real World" to encourage male-to-female crossdressers to escape from fantasyland and experience the real world as females.

The Conference is strategically located at the UConn Health Center in Farmington, Connecticut, halfway between Boston and New York City — an easy 2-hour/120-mile ride from either city. As a result, it is well-attended, but there is always room for you and I hope to see you there!

Wearing Rachel Zoe (Source: Rachel Zoe)

Alex Wetter, male womenswear model

Novice Femulator

That's me in the photo 28 years ago. I was 40 years old and had just started going out among the civilians.

Damn – I looked pretty good back then! My eyebrows need shaping and I don't know about the blue eyeshadow, but overall, my presentation was pretty good for a novice femulator. I even painted my nails, which is something I have not done in a long time since discovering stick-on nails.

Although I was out of the closet, I was not really out among the civilians that much because I was sure my height (5-ft 14-in) would be a deal breaker and every citizen in the State of Connecticut would know I was a man in a dress.

But looking at my photos from that era, I realize I was wrong; I was passable and could have been a contender.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Blond femulator in the 1969 film The Gay Deceivers

Confrontation

Newly-wed femulation (October 1983)

In last Thursday's post about revealing yourself to your spouse, I wrote, "I flew blindly as I dated and married, never telling my bride what was going on until she confronted me after another Halloween fling as a girl."

Alyson commented, "I would love to hear more about the the time your wife confronted you."

So here's the story.

I dated my future wife for nearly three years before we married and during that time, I stopped crossdressing completely, which supported the urban legend that marriage would cure crossdressing. So I did not tell my bride about my crossdressing past because I was cured and why spoil a good thing.

While we were dating, my future bride did see an old photo of me crossdressed for a Halloween party, so she did know I crossdressed once.

We wedded in late September and got invited to a Halloween party in October.

I reopened Pandora's Box when I suggested that we attend as a crossdressed couple, me as a she and my wife as a he.

My wife dressed like a workman with a fake mustache and looked like one of the Mario Brothers. I dressed as a blond office girl and looked so convincing that another guest wanted to know why I wasn't in costume.

So now my wife knew I crossdressed twice.

In the meantime, I started crossdressing at home with full steam ahead and when the next Halloween party came up, I suggested crossdressing again and donned my French maid costume to show my wife what I intended to wear.

Initially, my wife was mum, but two or three days later over dinner, she asked, "Do you like to wear women's clothes more often than Halloween?"

I told her the truth and she was very supportive. She bought me lingerie and jewelry and suggested that I find a support group, which I did and the rest is herstory.

Truth be told, over the years, my wife's support has ebbed and flowed. She would prefer that I was not a femulator, but she accepts her girly hubby's "hobby" and life goes on.

Wearing Michelle Mason (Source: Intermix)

Bernard Cribbins cuts a fine figure in the 1964 British film Carry On Spying.

Finding Girls & Boys

In October 2017 (can it be that long ago!), I wrote about Girls & Boys, "a short 2015 Swedish film that depicts high school life in a matriarchy, 'a world where girls are hunters and boys are the catch.'" There is a trailer and a teaser for the film online, but nowhere could I find how to view or purchase the film itself.

Over the weekend, my post about the film received an anonymous comment indicating that the film was now available for rental and purchase from Vimeo for $3 and $6 respectively. I immediately went to Vimeo, purchased the film, downloaded it and watched it.

Girls & Boys is not a crossdressing film per se; rather it is a gender role reversal film with males dressing and acting like 21st Century females and females dressing and acting like 21st Century males except that no one reconfigures their body to emulate the opposite sex as crossdressers do; males do not wear falsies and hip pads and the females do not bind their breasts.

The film was as good as its trailer and teasers suggested. And it had English subtitles for those not Swedish-conversant.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

One of the boys in Girls & Boys, a 2015 Swedish film

Spring Snow ― Oh No!

Ready to go-go to the True Colors Conference

On Friday, I staffed the Information table at the True Colors Conference at UConn in Storrs, Connecticut.

I have regularly attended this conference during the past dozen years and I often regret my choice of clothing. It is usually colder and windier in Storrs than at home, so I end up underdressed for the weather.

This year, the forecast was for a cold, rainy and windy morning, so I dressed appropriately. Instead of a skirt or dress, I wore leggings and I am glad that I did. Not only was it cold and windy, but is snowed heavily for a few hours during my stay at Storrs.

Except for spilling a fresh cup of coffee, getting femulated proceeded in a timely manner and I arrived at the UConn Student Union at 9:45 AM, 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Two old friends were already seated at the Information table and we three staffed the table throughout the day.

I met up with a few other friends and handled a lot of questions from strangers attending the conference. There were a lot of school-aged kids presenting in their true gender and that made me happy ― wish I could have presented in my true gender at their age instead of hiding in the closet.

I don't like driving in the snow especially since my car's tires are balding, so I decided to exit early (at 3 PM) when there was a break in the weather. Although there was snow on the ground, the roads were just wet, so I returned home in about an hour without incident.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Charles Hawtrey femulates in the 1969 British film Carry On Again, Doctor.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Jiang Du femulating in the 2016 Chinese film Mr. High Heels.

Reading Hannah is Worth It

Hannah

Hannah wrote a great blog post that she published this morning. She offers great advice about handling our transness with regard to our spouses and I highly recommend reading it if you have a significant other.

I just wish I had received her advice when I was dating and marrying back in the Triassic Era. 

Jumping on the time machine and traveling back to the late 1970s finds me in the closet honing my crossdressing skills while hoping to be invited to some Halloween bash, which was my only public outlet for my "hobby" back then.

I knew very little about my hobby. After nearly 20 years of crossdressing, I was getting pretty good at it, but I had no idea what was behind it. I was sure I wasn't a gay, but I wasn't sure I was a guy.

There was no Internet to inform me, nor was there much in the way of literature on the subject. A one-line definition of "transvestite" was all I could find in my family's encyclopedia. So I flew blindly as I dated and married, never telling my bride what was going on until she confronted me after another Halloween fling as a girl.

Read Hannah's post and avoid messing up your relationships with your loved ones.

Wearing Noriko (Source: NameBrandWigs)

Tatiana Sway aka Kevin Michael Perry