Notes on Coming Soon

True Colors Conference, March 2009

Monday's post titled "Coming Soon" listed the public events I will attend this spring, i.e., True Colors Conference, Transgender Lives Conference and Hamvention.

For over a decade, I have regularly attended these events mixing it up with civilians and non-civilian attendees alike. Transgender Lives has more non-civilian attendees than True Colors and Hamvention. Whereas Hamvention has more civilian attendees than Transgender Lives and True Colors. True Colors falls somewhere in between.

True Colors' attendees are primarily LGBT youth and secondarily, their providers (teachers, social workers, etc.) and supporters. First time I attended True Colors in 2007, there was only a small handful of attendees trans-dressed... maybe only two or three who were brave enough to show up presenting in their transgender/true-gender.

Society has changed during the last dozen years and at last year's True Colors, there were many boys and girls in attendance happily presenting in their transgender/true-gender.

Transgender Lives' attendees are primarily transgenders, their providers, supporters and family members. Most transgenders attending Transgender Lives present as their transgender/true-gender  although I have encountered some who attended in their birth gender like the husband and wife who attended one of my "how to femulate" workshops in order to learn how to crossdress (husband wanted to, wife was encouraging, but they did not know where to start).

Transgender Lives and True Colors conferences are very supportive, respective and sympathetic, so all transgenders will feel comfortable attending either event. Adults may feel a little out of place attending the youth-centric True Colors, but the kids are great and when I attend, I receive countless hugs and greetings from people who are young enough to be my grandchildren – it makes me feel great and so maternal that I forget about being an old lady !

Hamvention is completely different... 28,000 civilians and a handful of transgenders attending in their transgender/true-gender.

Ham radio operators are reputed to be on the conservative side of the political spectrum, so that gave me pause when I considered attending Hamvention for the first time in my transgender/true-gender. So the first time (2010), I did not stray from the booth I was staffing during the day and I played it safe in the evening attending my group's banquet one night and a larger banquet the next night accompanied by my supportive and protective female editor.

After eight trips to Hamvention en femme, I learned I had nothing to fear. Friends and acquaintances from the past who knew me en homme were very supportive and treated me like a lady. And civilians assumed I was just another middle-aged woman dragged to Hamvention by her ham radio husband. So I blended in and freely flitted about the convention taking it all in just as I do attending True Colors or Transgender Lives.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Harry S. Franklyn, Roaring Twenties professional femulator 

Coming Soon

Presenting at Hamvention, May 2018

Friday, I will be staffing the Information Booth at the True Colors Conference at my alma mater, University of Connecticut in Storrs, Connecticut. Usually I do a workshop at the conference, but I was late submitting my proposal and there were no slots available. So I volunteered for booth duty.

Next month, on April 27, I will be attending and presenting at the Transgender Lives Conference at the UConn Health Center in Farmington, Connecticut. I will be doing a workshop about the trials, tribulations and successes of crossdressing among civilians in my neck of the woods.

In mid-May, I will be making my annual pilgrimage to the Dayton, Ohio metroplex to attend Hamvention, the biggest ham radio convention this side of the Arctic Circle. Besides staffing my group's booth at the show, I will also make a short presentation at my group's forum to urge folks to contribute to our quarterly publication, which I edit.

And so I go!

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Coach Ed femulates again at El Reno (Oklahoma) High School, 2003.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Bradley Miller (Source: Pinterest)

In and Out

What is stylish today may be passé tomorrow, but the day after tomorrow, it may become stylish again.

I have been femulating for 55 years, so I own clothing that has gone around the block more than once. I also regretfully disposed of clothing that came back in style after their exit from my wardrobe.

What to keep and what to trash is a crapshoot, but an article posted on WhoWhatWear provides some guidance in that regard. (Sure glad I saved everything leopard!)

So without further ado, I direct you to "My 55-Year-Old Mom Says These Are the Best Fashion Investments."

Wearing Derek Lam 10 Crosby bag (Source: ShopBop)

Oslo Grace, male womenswear model

What's Up, Doc?

It takes my mind and body a few days (more like weeks) to get used to the switch between standard time and daylight savings time. So to my discombobulated mind and body, the 10:45 AM doctors' appointment on the second day of daylight savings time felt more like 9:45 AM. (The appointment was a six-month follow-up exam for the varicose vein removal procedure I had during the summer.)

Instead of sleeping in late to make up for the time change, not to mention getting over a week-long head cold, I had to get my dupa out of bed early to get pretty for my doctor's appointment. (No one said being a woman is easy!)

The weather forecast was promising with high temps in the mid-50's, so I decided to wear my long-sleeve sweater dress and thereby, forgo heavy outerwear (I did take along a lightweight coat just in case).

Basically, I wore the same outfit I came home wearing after my last visit to the mall, that is, my new Ann Taylor sweater dress and my Payless white kitten heel booties. The only difference was I wore a black bag instead of the fuchsia Jessica Simpson bag.

I arrived at the doctor's office 10 minutes before my appointment. Checking in with the receptionist, I informed her that I had different insurance than when I last visited the office. With a big smile on her face, she said, "It looks like that's not the only thing that's different. You look fantastic!"

"Thank-you," I said as I blushed.

After I handed over my new insurance cards, she asked, "No name change?"

I shook my head no and she asked me to be seated to wait for my appointment.

I cooled my kitten heels for about 20 minutes in the empty waiting room. While I sat there, a female physician's assistant (PA) who works in the office came into the waiting room to get a cup of water from the water machine. She said, "Hello" as she walked back to wherever she came from taking her sweet time to check me out.

Finally, a male PA who I had never encountered before fetched me to begin my appointment, which started off with an ultrasound. He did not react to my female presentation and called me by my male name. He asked me to bare my leg and put on a pair of paper shorts and slippers, then left the examination room to allow me to strip in privacy. I was glad I wore thigh highs rather than pantyhose, so after I took off my booties, I only had to remove the hosiery from one leg, hike up my skirt and slip into the shorts and slippers.

The PA returned, had me lay down on the examination table and began the ultrasound exam. It is painless, but messy because they use a clear gel on the ultrasound probe for better conductivity. When the test is done, they hand you a roll of paper towels to remove the gel from your skin.

The test took about 15 minutes and I passed (no blood clots).

He moved me to the next room where two female nurses took my blood pressure and photos of my leg. One nurse was new to me (I think she was a new employee and in-training), but I had dealt with the other nurse on previous visits and she went gaga over my new appearance. She "loved" my dress, my booties, my hairdo, my makeup; she "loved" everything about me!

She fetched the doctor and when he came in the room, he shook my hand and asked how I was feeling as he examined my leg and viewed the before and after photos of my leg on the nurse's computer screen. He was his usual very pleasant self, but did not show any reaction to my feminine presentation. Then everyone left the room, so I could get dressed.

I had done a thorough job of removing all the gel from my leg, so slipping into my thigh high was not a problem. When fully dressed, I exited the office and drove home.

And so it goes.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Walter Evers (Source: Pinterest)

New pentagon transgender policy limits service members to birth gender

Trump's War on Transgenders Marches On

With all legal hurdles cleared, the pentagon has instituted a new transgender policy that largely limits the military service of transgender persons currently in uniform to their birth gender. If they are unwilling to do so, they could be discharged.

Transgender service members currently serving in the military will only be allowed to continue to serve if they adhere to the dress and grooming standards of their biological gender. Waivers will be allowed on a case-by-case basis but only from the secretaries in charge of the military services.

Read the rest of the story here at ABC News.

Being Ill

The head cold began early last week and peaked on my birthday with a 100 degree body temperature Friday night. That sure put a damper on my family's plans to celebrate my birthday or as it's known in this neck of the woods, my "Stanniversary."

It also resulted in a lack of energy and motivation to post anything here.

And so it goes.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

James "Gypsy" Haake femulates in the 1983 remake of the film To Be Or Not To Be.

Being Tall

Actress Kate Walsh, a new addition to my list

I am over six feet tall, so when I femulate, I am a tall woman.

About the time I started femulating in my early teens, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, i.e., I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

In the past, tall women tried to blend in with their shorter sisters, so they dressed down (pun intended); instead of celebrating their height, they tried to hide it (to appear less intimidating to men).

Also, tall women did not have a lot to choose from clothes-wise. Few clothiers catered to tall women, so tall women had to make do with what was available, which typically did not celebrate tall women's height.

Today, tall women are out and proud and celebrate their height. They have more clothing to choose from now that more clothiers recognize their potential as customers. They no longer dress down to hide their height. They wear high heels and leg baring skirts and dresses. They don't care if
they are intimidating. They've come a long way!

It is a great time to be a tall woman, or a tall femulator.

In celebration of tall females, I created Famous Females of Height, which is a list of tall females of notoriety that I update as I discover additional famous females of height.

In case you just tuned in, you may wonder how my Famous Females of Height list relates to the topic of this blog. The purpose of my Famous Females of Height list is to show that there really are a lot of tall genetic women out there and therefore, height should not be a deterrent to femulators going out en femme.

Wearing Sherri Hill

Tony Midnite, mid-20th Century professional femulator

Separate Yourself from Other Men

Outreach – 12 years ago

This post is another rerun. It is from 2007, when I was still gainfully employed.

I am at work.

I just took a break from writing a software user manual and checked my e-mail. For the umpteenth time, I received another e-mail advertisement reminding me to "separate yourself from other men."

Believe me, I try to separate myself from other men in ways that the average man never dreams of. Rather than using a penis enlargement patch, I separate myself from other men by applying makeup, squeezing into a bra and girdle, slipping into a sexy dress, high heels and blond wig.

Yes, I am at work writing another user manual for software that monitors and controls high tech equipment that only an electrical engineer would find interesting.

Boring!

I would much prefer writing womanly words, i.e., words about feminine finery, en femme outings, flirting encounters of the passing kind... you know, those girly things that separate me from other men.

Wearing Aldo high heels (Source: Pinterest)

Kazik Mazur femulates Halina Frąckowiak on Polish television's version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Beyond My Theory of Operation

11 years ago, more or less

Eleven years ago, I wrote the follow-up post to yesterday's 11-year-old post, "My Theory of Operation."

While I was composing "My Theory of Operation" post (it took me two days to write it), the word "transgenderist" floated in and out of my conscious a couple of times, but I paid no attention to what my subconscious was floating by me. I knew I had encountered that term in the past, but as it floated by, I did not recall its meaning, so I let it go.

But I should have paid attention to my subsconscious because my subconscious had something for me. (It is the first time I ever really noticed my subconscious thinking behind the scenes.)

Anyway...

Whereas the terms "crossdresser," "transvestite," "transsexual," etc., are a good fit for me only after some alterations, the term "transgenderist" fits me like a glove.

Don't confuse "transgenderist" with "transgender." Like crossdresser, transvestite, transsexual, etc., transgenderist falls under the umbrella of transgender, but is not the same as transgender.

"Transgenderists are persons who consistently live as members of the opposite gender either on a part or full-time basis. Some maintain their original identity in the work place or during formal occasions. Others appear in their new identity during all aspects of daily life. Transgenderists are unique because maintaining both masculine and feminine characteristics is integral to having a sense of balance. However, the outward presentation of these characteristics varies subtly depending on the individual's needs and sense of connection to each gender. Like transsexuals, many are interested in obtaining electrolysis, hormones and even cosmetic surgery to bring their outward presentation in line with their inner sense of self. However, like crossdressers, transgenderists are not interested in Genital Reassignment Surgery.

"To elaborate on this distinction, even if a transgenderists lives "in role" as a member of the opposite gender on a full-time basis, what separates them from transsexuals, is that they derive pleasure from and value their genitals as originally developed. However, in most circumstances, it is unlikely that a transgenderist who lives in role full-time will disclose such private information without good reason. Because transgenderists are not interested in genital reassignment, they should not be confused with "non-operative" transsexuals or persons who are unable to have surgery due to financial or medical hardship. Although the majority of non-operative transsexuals live "in role" permanently, most need to adjust to a period of internalized incongruency during the time they are unable to have genital reassignment, if at all. Transgenderists do not go through this period of adjustment, because they are not interested in altering their genitals.

"Like transsexuals who are at the very beginning of transition, transgenderists frequently experience incongruent feelings regarding their gender identity. Unlike crossdressers these feelings persist "after the clothes come off" and the person dresses in their original gender. These incongruent feelings typically can be continuous, lasting for days and even weeks, until the individual recognizes a pattern in his or her needs. Transgenderists stop feeling incongruent when their needs are consistently met by maintaining characteristics from both genders."

Those words come from Gianna E. Israel's excellent article titles "Transgenderists: When Self-Identification Challenges Transgender Stereotypes," which I urge you to read in its entirety.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Sunday evening, I watched the film Can You Ever Forgive Me? (great film, by the way). During the film, the main characters visited a bar where a lounge singer was performing. For a brief moment, I thought that the lounge singer was a girl like us, but the more I saw of her, the more I thought I was wrong. After consulting IMDb, it turned out that my initial impression was correct and the lounge singer was Justin Vivian Bond, pictured above. 

My Theory of Operation

Ready for outreach, December 2008

I wrote this post in 2008 and it surprises me how it still applies 11 years later. I guess there is some truth in the saying that "the more things change, the more they stay the same."

When I do outreach, the other presenters almost always identify as transsexual. I only recall doing outreach on two occasions with others who did not identify as transsexual.

Listening to the transsexuals tell their life stories always causes me to consider my own identity. A recent outreach was no different. Since then, I have done a lot of thinking about my identity and I believe I have had an epiphany.

I identify as a heterosexual male-to-female crossdresser, who crossdresses once or twice per month (in deference to my spouse). However, I readily admit that if I had the opportunity, I would crossdress 24/7 and live full-time as a female without surgery, hormones, or other body modifications. I likely would get electrolysis, but nothing more than that.

If I desire to live full-time as a woman, am I still a crossdresser? Or am I something else... something beyond a crossdresser, but not quite a transsexual mainly because I never felt that I was a woman trapped inside the body of a male.

I admit that I am not the most manly male, at least according to other people's opinions of me. When I was young, I was called a "sissy," "fairy," "twinky," "faggot," etc. because others perceived me as being effeminate. That perception may still exist, but as an adult, the people I encounter are polite enough to keep such opinions to themselves.

I did not (or do not) make any effort to be effeminate (or masculine, for that matter). I always acted in a way that was natural to me and my natural inclination was to act effeminately according to the "standards" set by our society.

I never felt I had a masculine or feminine side and I never felt that I was a woman trapped inside the body of a male like the typical transsexual, who hid or suppressed their femininity in boy mode.

I never felt that I was a woman trapped inside the body of a male because SHE WAS NEVER TRAPPED! I never suppressed my femininity because I never realized I was acting effeminately, so as far as I was concerned, there was nothing to suppress.

Back in college, I attended a Halloween party in en femme. One of my classmates who knew me well was impressed on how my normal persona was such a good fit for my costume. Until he saw me in drag, he never realized that my everyday persona was so feminine. That confirms what I always believed, i.e., "I" am the same person in boy mode or in girl mode except that "I" am a better fit in girl mode.

In conclusion, I am not a woman trapped in a male body, rather I am a woman with a male body and I’m OK with that. I realize that my body has nothing to with my gender and further, that having a male body does not make me less of a woman.

Wearing Unique Vintage (Source: Unique Vintage)

Elle of Gossip Gurl fame posted this video of the femulating Alice Cos Group dancing to So Crazy. 

Someday Funnies

Lovely little black dress (Source: Pinterest)

Womanless beauty pageant contestant (Source: Pinterest)