Being Ill

The head cold began early last week and peaked on my birthday with a 100 degree body temperature Friday night. That sure put a damper on my family's plans to celebrate my birthday or as it's known in this neck of the woods, my "Stanniversary."

It also resulted in a lack of energy and motivation to post anything here.

And so it goes.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

James "Gypsy" Haake femulates in the 1983 remake of the film To Be Or Not To Be.

Being Tall

Actress Kate Walsh, a new addition to my list

I am over six feet tall, so when I femulate, I am a tall woman.

About the time I started femulating in my early teens, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, i.e., I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

In the past, tall women tried to blend in with their shorter sisters, so they dressed down (pun intended); instead of celebrating their height, they tried to hide it (to appear less intimidating to men).

Also, tall women did not have a lot to choose from clothes-wise. Few clothiers catered to tall women, so tall women had to make do with what was available, which typically did not celebrate tall women's height.

Today, tall women are out and proud and celebrate their height. They have more clothing to choose from now that more clothiers recognize their potential as customers. They no longer dress down to hide their height. They wear high heels and leg baring skirts and dresses. They don't care if
they are intimidating. They've come a long way!

It is a great time to be a tall woman, or a tall femulator.

In celebration of tall females, I created Famous Females of Height, which is a list of tall females of notoriety that I update as I discover additional famous females of height.

In case you just tuned in, you may wonder how my Famous Females of Height list relates to the topic of this blog. The purpose of my Famous Females of Height list is to show that there really are a lot of tall genetic women out there and therefore, height should not be a deterrent to femulators going out en femme.

Wearing Sherri Hill

Tony Midnite, mid-20th Century professional femulator

Separate Yourself from Other Men

Outreach – 12 years ago

This post is another rerun. It is from 2007, when I was still gainfully employed.

I am at work.

I just took a break from writing a software user manual and checked my e-mail. For the umpteenth time, I received another e-mail advertisement reminding me to "separate yourself from other men."

Believe me, I try to separate myself from other men in ways that the average man never dreams of. Rather than using a penis enlargement patch, I separate myself from other men by applying makeup, squeezing into a bra and girdle, slipping into a sexy dress, high heels and blond wig.

Yes, I am at work writing another user manual for software that monitors and controls high tech equipment that only an electrical engineer would find interesting.

Boring!

I would much prefer writing womanly words, i.e., words about feminine finery, en femme outings, flirting encounters of the passing kind... you know, those girly things that separate me from other men.

Wearing Aldo high heels (Source: Pinterest)

Kazik Mazur femulates Halina Frąckowiak on Polish television's version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Beyond My Theory of Operation

11 years ago, more or less

Eleven years ago, I wrote the follow-up post to yesterday's 11-year-old post, "My Theory of Operation."

While I was composing "My Theory of Operation" post (it took me two days to write it), the word "transgenderist" floated in and out of my conscious a couple of times, but I paid no attention to what my subconscious was floating by me. I knew I had encountered that term in the past, but as it floated by, I did not recall its meaning, so I let it go.

But I should have paid attention to my subsconscious because my subconscious had something for me. (It is the first time I ever really noticed my subconscious thinking behind the scenes.)

Anyway...

Whereas the terms "crossdresser," "transvestite," "transsexual," etc., are a good fit for me only after some alterations, the term "transgenderist" fits me like a glove.

Don't confuse "transgenderist" with "transgender." Like crossdresser, transvestite, transsexual, etc., transgenderist falls under the umbrella of transgender, but is not the same as transgender.

"Transgenderists are persons who consistently live as members of the opposite gender either on a part or full-time basis. Some maintain their original identity in the work place or during formal occasions. Others appear in their new identity during all aspects of daily life. Transgenderists are unique because maintaining both masculine and feminine characteristics is integral to having a sense of balance. However, the outward presentation of these characteristics varies subtly depending on the individual's needs and sense of connection to each gender. Like transsexuals, many are interested in obtaining electrolysis, hormones and even cosmetic surgery to bring their outward presentation in line with their inner sense of self. However, like crossdressers, transgenderists are not interested in Genital Reassignment Surgery.

"To elaborate on this distinction, even if a transgenderists lives "in role" as a member of the opposite gender on a full-time basis, what separates them from transsexuals, is that they derive pleasure from and value their genitals as originally developed. However, in most circumstances, it is unlikely that a transgenderist who lives in role full-time will disclose such private information without good reason. Because transgenderists are not interested in genital reassignment, they should not be confused with "non-operative" transsexuals or persons who are unable to have surgery due to financial or medical hardship. Although the majority of non-operative transsexuals live "in role" permanently, most need to adjust to a period of internalized incongruency during the time they are unable to have genital reassignment, if at all. Transgenderists do not go through this period of adjustment, because they are not interested in altering their genitals.

"Like transsexuals who are at the very beginning of transition, transgenderists frequently experience incongruent feelings regarding their gender identity. Unlike crossdressers these feelings persist "after the clothes come off" and the person dresses in their original gender. These incongruent feelings typically can be continuous, lasting for days and even weeks, until the individual recognizes a pattern in his or her needs. Transgenderists stop feeling incongruent when their needs are consistently met by maintaining characteristics from both genders."

Those words come from Gianna E. Israel's excellent article titles "Transgenderists: When Self-Identification Challenges Transgender Stereotypes," which I urge you to read in its entirety.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Sunday evening, I watched the film Can You Ever Forgive Me? (great film, by the way). During the film, the main characters visited a bar where a lounge singer was performing. For a brief moment, I thought that the lounge singer was a girl like us, but the more I saw of her, the more I thought I was wrong. After consulting IMDb, it turned out that my initial impression was correct and the lounge singer was Justin Vivian Bond, pictured above. 

My Theory of Operation

Ready for outreach, December 2008

I wrote this post in 2008 and it surprises me how it still applies 11 years later. I guess there is some truth in the saying that "the more things change, the more they stay the same."

When I do outreach, the other presenters almost always identify as transsexual. I only recall doing outreach on two occasions with others who did not identify as transsexual.

Listening to the transsexuals tell their life stories always causes me to consider my own identity. A recent outreach was no different. Since then, I have done a lot of thinking about my identity and I believe I have had an epiphany.

I identify as a heterosexual male-to-female crossdresser, who crossdresses once or twice per month (in deference to my spouse). However, I readily admit that if I had the opportunity, I would crossdress 24/7 and live full-time as a female without surgery, hormones, or other body modifications. I likely would get electrolysis, but nothing more than that.

If I desire to live full-time as a woman, am I still a crossdresser? Or am I something else... something beyond a crossdresser, but not quite a transsexual mainly because I never felt that I was a woman trapped inside the body of a male.

I admit that I am not the most manly male, at least according to other people's opinions of me. When I was young, I was called a "sissy," "fairy," "twinky," "faggot," etc. because others perceived me as being effeminate. That perception may still exist, but as an adult, the people I encounter are polite enough to keep such opinions to themselves.

I did not (or do not) make any effort to be effeminate (or masculine, for that matter). I always acted in a way that was natural to me and my natural inclination was to act effeminately according to the "standards" set by our society.

I never felt I had a masculine or feminine side and I never felt that I was a woman trapped inside the body of a male like the typical transsexual, who hid or suppressed their femininity in boy mode.

I never felt that I was a woman trapped inside the body of a male because SHE WAS NEVER TRAPPED! I never suppressed my femininity because I never realized I was acting effeminately, so as far as I was concerned, there was nothing to suppress.

Back in college, I attended a Halloween party in en femme. One of my classmates who knew me well was impressed on how my normal persona was such a good fit for my costume. Until he saw me in drag, he never realized that my everyday persona was so feminine. That confirms what I always believed, i.e., "I" am the same person in boy mode or in girl mode except that "I" am a better fit in girl mode.

In conclusion, I am not a woman trapped in a male body, rather I am a woman with a male body and I’m OK with that. I realize that my body has nothing to with my gender and further, that having a male body does not make me less of a woman.

Wearing Unique Vintage (Source: Unique Vintage)

Elle of Gossip Gurl fame posted this video of the femulating Alice Cos Group dancing to So Crazy. 

Someday Funnies

Lovely little black dress (Source: Pinterest)

Womanless beauty pageant contestant (Source: Pinterest)

Her Best Foot Forward

In July, I underwent a procedure to remove varicose veins from my left leg.

I did so because the veins were occasionally painful and because my left ankle was constantly swollen and an ominous dark red in color (ulceration was a possibility). I also did not like the way my leg appeared when I femulated.

In a couple of weeks, I have an appointment for a follow-up examination to make sure my leg is all right. I believe my leg is good to go, but what do I know, so I will let the pros have at it.

Whereas I was a male patient at the vein center last summer, I plan to go to the follow-up appointment as a female patient and let the chips fall where they may.

I think wearing a short skirt and high heels will be appropriate, don't you?

Wearing Ann Taylor (Source: Ann Taylor)

Aris Makris femulates Nancy Sinatra on Greek television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

I'm OK

Thank-you all for your concern and well wishes concerning my injured hand.

I am surprised how fast my hand is healing. I removed the bandages 24 hours after leaving the ER and there were just two small scabs where the splinter entered and exited my hand. The scabs are sore to the touch, otherwise, I have experienced no pain since the accident occurred.

And so it goes.

Wearing Antonio Melani (Source: Dillards)

Ed Wood femulates in the film Take It Out In Trade:The Outakes

Ouch!

I had plans for Monday, but I spent a lot of the day in the ER.

I casually slid my left hand on a seldom-used handrail, caught the tip of a sliver of wood and ended up with three inches of oak embedded in the meat of my palm.

The pain was excruciating when the sliver entered my hand and I screamed like a little girl, but after entry, there was no pain nor blood until I tried to extract the wood myself. Just touching the wood shivered my timbers. That convinced me to go to the ER.

I could not drive, so I enlisted my sister to deliver me. She left work, picked me up and we arrived at the ER at 10:40 AM. Physician Assistants got to me about two hours later, shot a drug into my hand to numb it and removed the wood. Then they took X-rays to make sure they got everything out (they did).

They also gave me a tetanus shot and a prescription for an anti-biotic. I arrived back home about 2:30 PM.

That sure put a dent in my day.

Wearing Giulia Massari bag (Source: Beyond the Rack)

Miguel Bose (standing) femulates in the 1991 Spanish film High Heels.

Another Book in Me

I made my living as a technical writer for over 50 years and I had a some success doing it. Two of my books were best sellers and a few years ago, I received one of the most prestigious awards in my field in honor of my writing career.

Writing this blog has been a success, too. It usually gets 5,000 hits per day and is approaching 15 million hits over its 12-year run.

The success of this blog inspired me to write a book on the subject, which I did four years ago. But unlike my technical books, the sales of my trans book were poor despite its good reviews. Sales were so poor that I swore I would never write a trans book again.

Sunday, I received the following e-mail from a woman I met at a workshop we both attended 10 years ago.

I just read your book, Fantasia Fair Diaries, and I want to congratulate you and say thanks for sharing your experiences at Fan Fair. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Your writing seemed as if you were just talking to me as you did when we met at the [workshop] several years ago in New York.

As I was reading, I kept thinking how wonderful it would be if you would write a book about your life. And then, near the end of Diaries, you mentioned you were contemplating doing so.  Have you done so by now? I want to purchase a copy ASAP if you have. Your story is fascinating and I have highest regards for your kindness and friendship.

Wow! Her e-mail made my day and since receiving it, I have been mulling over writing another book.

I am certain I have another book in me, but do I want to put in the effort of writing another book just to be disappointed again?

Wearing Hemant and Nandita (Source: Rue La La)

Filippo Timi femulates in Italian television's Favola.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Venus (Source: Venus)

T.C. Jones (right) femulates in a 1965 episode of television's The Alfred Hitchcock Hour.