Thursday Shopper

As I wrote here, I met up with an old friend on Thursday who I have not seen in nearly 20 years. Shauna and I planned to meet at the Westfarms Mall for dinner at 6, but I was ready to go at 3:30, so I decided to do some shopping beforehand.

Fashionista Dept.

I wore a Muse black and white color block sheath that I purchased over five years ago and had never worn.

At the time of purchase, the dress was tight, but I liked it so much that I bought it anyway and hung it in the TBD area of my closet ("TBD" as in To Be worn after Diet). After losing 20 pounds, it now fits and I accessorized with black tights, black patent high heels, black bag and gold jewelry.

Going to the Dogs Dept.

First stop was Petco to buy dog food for our two pups.

At 4 PM, I was not overdressed for Petco; there were other customers in business attire probably shopping on their way home from work. I did notice a couple of women checking me out, but I like to think they were in awe of my fashion sense rather than my transiness.

Like I Need More Clothes Dept.

Our plan was to meet near the Macy's entrance to the mall. Problem is that there are three Macy's entrances to the mall.

I threw caution to the wind, parked my car near the middle entrance and entered the store. I had over an hour to kill, so I started perusing the racks. I really really did not need any more clothes and I really really did not want to try on anything because I was certain that I would stain my dress with makeup as I undressed/dressed in the fitting room.

Dress-wise, I did not see anything I had to have, but then I came upon a rack of pencil skirts in an array of colors and in a material (scuba) that I had seldom seen before. And they were marked down to $19.99! I realized that I could try on skirts over my dress and would not have to disrobe, so I started shopping more seriously.

I liked all the colors, but the blue ("Lazulite") was my favorite and they had my size. I grabbed an XL and a Large and sashayed to the dressing room to try them on. The XL looked too big, so I did not bother with it. The Large fit, but was a little roomy – do I dare try on a Medium?

I held onto the Large, returned to the rack, found a Medium and returned to the dressing room. The Medium fit like a glove clinging to my figure like a pencil skirt should. So I abandoned the Large and held onto the Medium.

Next, I began shopping for a white blouse to go with the skirt and I tried on a few, but did not find anything I liked.

By the way, the dressing room was busy. Women coming and going and none of them gave me a second look.

Looking for more white blouses, my iPhone rang. It was Shauna letting me know that she was on her way and would arrive at the mall shortly.

So I stopped shopping, paid for the skirt and proceeded to the parking lot to meet up with my friend.

Wearing Rocky Barnes sandals (Source: The Zoe Report)

In the 1970 film Dinah East, Jeremy Stockwell played a glamorous movie queen of the 1950s, who is revealed to be a man after her death. According to IMDB, Dinah East was Stockwell's only film. I wonder if he was a professional femulator. And whatever became of him?

SaveSave

Someday Funnies

Miss Pejic

Harvey Korman femulates in the "Both Mother and Father" situation comedy in the 1979 film Americathon.

Old Friends

Out of the blue, I received an e-mail asking me if I used to be the "Staci" who frequented meetings of the Connecticut Outreach Society 15 to 20 years ago. I acknowledged that fact and it turned out that the e-mail was from a girl who also attended those meetings way back when.

She stopped attending the meetings because life got in the way, but now she was trying to get out and about again and wondered if we could get together. After a few false starts, we finally managed to make a date for dinner and shopping. So this evening, I will meet up with my old friend and I am looking forward to getting reacquainted.

I was very active in Connecticut Outreach Society for about 20 years and it is amazing how many people I saw come and go through the doors of the society. They number in the hundreds... probably in the five hundreds... maybe more. 

Most were strangers, but would you believe that I knew two of the girls in boy mode long before they showed up in girl mode at our meetings. I knew both through ham radio. All three of us belonged to the same radio club, but none of us had an inkling about our transgenders.

It's a small world after all!

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Kate

You're apt to be glamorous

Readers continue to send me their results using the "Your Face on a Glamorous Magazine Cover In Seconds!" app. So without further adieu, here is the third set of yours (and mine) glamorous images.

Wearing Venus (Source: Venus)

Professional femulator Hans Anton in Berlin circa 1930

Something is wrong

Something is wrong and I don't know why.

Normally, I get an email when someone leaves a comment on the blog informing me that I need to moderate the comment. Those emails stopped about a week ago. Now I have to go behind the curtain occasionally to check if there are any comments to moderate. So if you leave a comment, there may be a delay before it gets approved and posted.

Then I noticed that other blogs that have my blog on their blog lists are not getting updated when I publish a new post. The last post they have seen was three posts ago.

Blogger has had problems in the past that get fixed eventually. I say, "The sooner, the better!"

Wearing Show Me Your Mumu (Source: Rent the Runway)

Jeremy Stockwell femulates in the 1970 film Dinah East.

And now for something completely different

My wife received some gift cards from Dress Barn for her birthday, so I took her to the local Roz & ALI (nee Dress Barn) store to go shopping.

I went in boy mode and basically fetched items off the racks for my wife to try on in the dressing room. Her MS is such that she is in no condition to run around the store fetching stuff.

During the fetching, I saw some items I'd like to try on (what else is new?), but I would never do it while with my wife because I would not want to embarrass her. I would not be embarrassed at all, but I defer to my wife's feelings when she is in tow.

Anyway, I saw something I had never seen in Roz & ALI or Dress Barn before: a male salesperson! He was in his late 20's or early 30's (I'm terrible with estimating ages, so don't hold me to that) and he was dressed in male hipster mode. His outfit was androgynous and he was so thin that he could be mistaken as a female except for his closely trimmed beard and short hair.

And so it goes.

Wearing Ann Taylor (Source: Ann Taylor)

Alexandre Styker femulates in the 2004 television film Belinda Et Moi.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Stylewe (Source: Stylewe)

Three New Zealanders femulating in Christchurch in 1955.

Confidence

As long as I have been going out as a woman, I have had some trepidation before I took that first step out the door into the real world. After all, under that makeup, wig and female finery is a 6 foot 2, 199-pound cisgender male.

Will I pass? Will I get read? How will civilians react? If you have ever gone out in public as a woman, you have been there and done that. I believe I will never do that again.

Two week ago, I stood at a podium in Ohio as a woman and made a short presentation to approximately 150 of my ham radio peers. It was a positive experience and a personal accomplishment.

Tuesday morning, a video of my presentation was posted on YouTube. I hesitated before I clicked the play button to view it. For the first time, I would see my female presentation as others see it... not in a still photograph, but in a full motion "live" video. Would I see a cisgender male in a dress? Would the video shatter the notion that I pass?

I clicked on the play button and five seconds into my appearance I thought "Holy Cow!" Watch my body movement and mannerisms as I say, "I used to write for QST." That is not the body movement and mannerisms of a cisgender male; that is the body movement and mannerisms of a female. 

Watching the 2-1/2 minutes of video, I continued to see a female and I was absolutely floored how feminine I appeared. Yeah, "Holy Cow!"

Growing up, I was clueless about my feminine ways, but my peers were very aware of it and let me know about it in no uncertain terms. But I refused to change because my mannerisms were natural to me, a good fit and I really did not want to man-up and embrace some of the aspects of being "male" that I found unattractive and even abhorrent.

But until I viewed the video, I did not realize how really feminine I appeared. So feminine, that even my male voice worked.

As a result, I am very confident about my femulation and I will never again have any trepidation about experiencing the real world as a woman because under that makeup, wig and female finery is a 6 foot 2, 199-pound female.

Wearing Shoshanna (Source: Rent the Runway)

Krzysztof Szczepaniak femulates Lady Gaga on Polish television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Got Stuff

Got App Dept.

The online app that puts "Your Face on a Glamorous Magazine Cover In Seconds!" seems to be very popular with Femulate readers (and me). More of you have sent in your results, so I am posting a second set of your glamorous images today.

Got Voice Dept.

That Hamvention video that shows me for about 2-1/2 minutes had over 300 views from all over the world not long after I mentioned it here. Since the video was not publicized elsewhere until late in the day, I assume that most of that 300 were Femulate readers. (It has over 650 views 24 hours later.)

I girded my loins for criticism and as expected, I received some comments about my voice. 

Yes, I have a New York accent and sometimes my "these," "thems" and "those" come out as "deese," "dems" and "dose." [Actually, I have a South End of Waterbury accent, which is a distant cousin (80 miles) of a New York accent.]

And yes, my voice is deep for a woman. 

Years ago, I took a femme voice course and after three weeks of practice, I had a very feminine voice, but I always felt silly when I used that voice. It seemed so fake to me. Since I found that my normal male voice was not a deal breaker as far as passing was concerned that is what I decoded to use. 

I think that when people initially encounter me, they see a woman. If and when I speak, they just assume that I am a woman with a deep voice. 

After years of using my normal voice en femme, I assure you it usually does not give me away. As I recounted in last Wednesday post, a fellow came over to me after I spoke at the Hamvention forum and asked me how I am related to Stan Horzepa?

And so it goes.

Wearing Show Me Your Muu Muu (Source: Haute Look)

Abe Vagoda femulates in an episode of television's Barney Miller (circa 1978).

Live!

This year's Hamvention was the first time I spoke at a forum as a woman.

When I attended Hamvention in the past as a male (before 2010), I moderated and spoke at a number of forums. But since I have been attending as a woman, I have not presented because I was not ready to take that step in my coming out process.

This year, I was ready and gave a short presentation at my group's forum, the TAPR Forum, to encourage people to submit content for my group's quarterly publication, which I edit.

I think my presentation went well. No one hooted or threw rotten tomatoes and a couple of people even complimented me.

Even better... the forum was video-recorded and you can view it here on YouTube. (My appearance starts at the 6:39 mark and last about 2-1/2 minutes.)

I looked forward to seeing this video because I have never seen my female self "live" and I wanted to see for myself if I had feminine mannerisms.

All my life, I have been accused of being feminine. The way I walked, talked and moved were decidedly girly according to the social norms police.

I was not trying to act girly, I was just acting in a way that came naturally to me. Furthermore, I was happy with the way I acted and I was not about to change or "man up."

Anyway, after viewing the video, I have to admit that the social norms police were correct.

Wearing Mango (Source: Elle)

David Lander and Michael McKean femulating on television's Laverne and Shirley (circa 1980)

A Memorable Hamvention

As regular readers of Femulate know, I do not present as a woman 24/7, although I would prefer to do so. 

During Hamvention, a long-time ham radio friend mentioned that my transition appeared to be successful and wondered how my family has reacted to my living as a woman 24/7.

I was surprised by his comment and asked him what gave him the impression that I had transitioned and lived as a woman 24/7.

He was surprised by my question and stated that "everyone" just assumed that I had transitioned because I was so feminine in every way. No one would think I was a male or had ever been a male.

On a similar note, another long-time acquaintance noticed the engagement ring (a fake) that I was wearing at Hamvention. She asked me who was my boyfriend and when did we plan to marry!   

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I did not see as many Femulate readers as I have at past Hamventions. Usually I encounter a dozen or so of you at the "big show," but this year I only saw six of you.

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The fashionistas out there want to know what this fashionista wore during Hamvention, so here is a list.

Thursday: Dress Barn sleeveless handkerchief hemline midi dress, Avon animal print scarf, Payless Karmen nude pointed-toe pumps, gold jewelry

Friday: Roz & Ali polka-dot faux-wrap jumpsuit, Payless black patent Mink Vison wedges, silver jewelry

Saturday day: Dress Barn sleeveless handkerchief hemline midi dress, Avon animal print scarf, Payless Karmen nude pointed-toe pumps, gold jewelry 

Saturday night (as in the photo above): Dress Barn brushstroke scuba midi dress, Payless Karmen nude pointed-toe pumps, Avon modern greens drop earrings, gold watch 

By the way, I way overpacked and brought more than twice the amount of clothing I actually wore!

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I like the new site of Hamvention, that is, the Greene County Fairgrounds in Xenia. It reminds me of The Big E and I like The Big E.

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I wrote this after attending Hamvention in 2016:

One female ham I have known for many years and who is very familiar with my roots, lives in Connecticut, but I usually only see her in Ohio at Hamvention. She staffs a booth near my booth and we always meet up at one booth or the other to chat and catch up, as was the case Friday morning, when she stopped by my booth. After talking for about ten minutes, she had to go, but before she left, she said, "By the way, you look beautiful!"

I was speechless, but managed to squeak out a "thank you." 

Then she added, "I really mean that!"

This year, I looked her up a few times, but she was never at her booth. I assumed that she did not make the trip this year and I was disappointed that we did not meet up.

After I returned home, I was shocked and heartbroken to discover her obituary. She had died the day before the start of Hamvention.

She was a kind and beautiful woman in so many ways and I will miss her.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Esme Percy femulates in the 1930 Hitchcock film Murder!