All-Woman

In light of the foot of snow that fell here yesterday, I recall another January six years ago when it snowed and snowed and snowed some more.

I have lived in the same area of Connecticut all my life and I have never seen a month of winter weather like the past 31 days! In that time, we had seven snowstorms resulting in a snowfall total of over 5 feet!

The weather has played havoc on my plans to go out. Yesterday, I cancelled my day trip to First Event because of the weather. Other plans have met similar fates.

It snowed again (10 inches) early yesterday morning, so I worked from home rather than commute to the office.

While clearing the snow from my driveway at noontime, I decided I had had enough; I made up my mind to go out en femme in the evening.

Late in the afternoon, I shaved, showered, did my makeup, and dressed to go out. I wore my Victoria's Secret green sweater dress, brown tights, open-toed snakeskin high heel pumps, and matching snakeskin patterned scarf. I also wore my white fake fur jacket and brown designer knock-off bag.

If you think wearing high heels is an adventure, try it when there is snow, slush, and ice in your path. But I toughed it out for the sake of fashion!

I drove to a nice Chinese restaurant in the next town. It was about one-quarter full of customers. No one paid me any mind (that I noticed).

My waiter was very polite and called me "Miss." I had a very pleasant dinner and at the end, the waiter presented me with a free dessert: a ball of coconut ice cream.

After dinner, I touched up my lipstick and drove to a nearby Fashion Bug. It was very quiet in the “Bug” --- only one other customer.

The sales staff was very attentive. One saleswoman tried to convince me to be measured and fitted for a pair of a figure-hugging jeans.

I was interested, but I was not sure how I could try on jeans when I was wearing a dress. I had no spare top, so I figured that I would have to strip down to my bra and body shaper. Normally, that would not bother me, but I had not removed enough body hair to strip down to that degree, so I politely turned her down.

I spent about a half hour browsing through the store. I really wasn't looking for anything in particular, but I did find some clip-on earrings that I liked and purchased.

At check-out, I used my Fashion Bug credit card. The cashier, who was the same person who tried to fit me for jeans, asked for additional identification.

I assumed the she was aware I was a male, so I thought nothing about handing her my driver's license.

She looked at it and asked, "Is this your husband?"

"Uh oh," I thought to myself.

"No, that's me," I replied.

She finally realized reality and burst out, "Oh my, God, you look fantastic!"

"Thank-you," I said.

As she was checking me out, she added, "You know, we have other male customers, who dress as women, and I spot them right away, but I never would have guessed you were a guy! You not only look like a woman – you move like a woman, you talk like a woman, you act like a woman – you’re all-woman!”

With that, my high heels never touched the slush as I walked on air out of the store and drove home.

Wearing Eloquii (Source: Eloquii)

German soldiers femulating during World War II.

Dodging Old Age and the Draft

Old ladies like me can knock 10 years off our age just by femulating. The makeup hides some of our faces' signs of old age. Girdles hide some of the pounds we put on as we mature. But I think wearing a wig makes the biggest difference. Replace thinning gray hair (or no hair) with a beautiful hairdo in a pretty color and a 60-year-old guy becomes a 50-something lady.

Some hairstyles are better than others when you step aboard the time machine and put it in reverse. And Fabulous 55 suggests 21 hairstyles that will knock 10 years off your age. (That's a total of 20 years off for a femulator wearing the right wig!)

For what it's worth, some of the suggested hairstyles are actually wigs. I recognized styles offered by Raquel Welch and Tony of Beverly, so if they are one of the hairstyles you would like to try, it is easy-peasy finding a matching wig.

Here is the link to Fabulous 55's article. Happy hairstyle shopping!

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At the height of the Vietnam War, my buddies were cooking up ways of avoiding the draft.

My friend Jack came up with the bright idea of showing up at the draft board dressed as a woman if he ever got drafted. It seemed like a surefire way of getting a deferment and sent back home to mother, but Jack never had to wear frillies and become Jackie because he received a high draft number.

Anyway, I find it a little ironic that 50 years later, the US military is now accepting transgender recruits (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Wearing Alex Perry (Source: Moda Operandi)

Femulator or modern male fashionista?

SaveSave

Birthday Card

I am an old fashioned girl and like my mother, I send cards to my friends and relatives for their birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, illnesses and other events.

Greeting cards are expensive, so a few years ago, I purchased software to create and print greeting cards. It paid for itself a long time ago.

My sister's birthday was last week, so I loaded the software and perused what designs were available for sister birthdays. I found the perfect card, but I did not use it because my sister is not a big fan of my femulating.

Anyway, here is the front and inside (punchline) of the card.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Sister and Brother

Review: Caitlyn Jenner's The Secrets of My Life

By Paula Gaikowski

Title: The Secrets of My Life
Author: Caitlyn Jenner
Genre: Memoir
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Pages: 320

After years of intense training, Bruce Jenner won the 1976 Decathlon at the Montreal Olympic games. After winning, a fan handed him an American flag and he took a victory lap. With an American flag held proudly, a handsome and smiling Jenner rounded the field and that iconic moment was seared into a generations mind. He became the all-American hero.

Ironically, Bruce had painted himself into a corner.

I’ll start with a note: Caitlyn Jenner constantly refers to “Bruce” in her book. She states simply that “he,” “Bruce” did exist and to deny that would be disingenuous. She does this much to the chagrin of others in the transgender community where she is a controversial figure. I will follow Caitlyn’s example in this review.

Her narrative will speak directly to readers here at Femulate. Winning the Olympics brought not only jubilation, but the thought “I’ll never be a woman now.”

If you’ve perused through online profiles of other sisters, Caitlyn’s story will ring true. Always wanting to be a girl, at the earliest age, borrowing clothes and dressing up. Sneaking out in the neighborhood for nighttime strolls and praying at night to wake up as a girl.

He proved himself on the high school football field while envying the cheerleaders on the sidelines.

He hid women’s clothes in the college dorm.

In public, Jenner was the ultimate visage of American manliness — handsome, athletic, and financially successful.

In reality, she would endure decades of emotional loneliness, three failed marriages, parental shortcomings and bouts of self-loathing.

As a transgender person, reading this book at times it seemed she was writing about me. The book is oddly familiar in its writing style, a biographical timeline made up of trials and tribulations that are personally reminiscent and feel like countless transgender profiles that I’ve read online.

In the 1989, after two failed marriages, Bruce would attempt to transition. He started HRT but found little support or acceptance. Then financial reality set in. “If I lose 'Bruce,' I lose my way to make a living and so does the family that depends on me.” Twenty-five years later, there would the transgender websites, medical advances, support groups and a growing community of transgender persons to support her.

A longtime Republican, Caitlyn received a huge negative backlash from many activists in the transgender community. She's realized that as Bruce, she “ ived in a world of white male privilege” and yet was still entitled enough as Caitlyn to have voted for the Donald Trump-Mike Pence ticket. Her remarks about gay marriage on The Ellen DeGeneres Show also drew anger from the LGBT community.

She also took much criticism from the transgender community for her views on transgender women and appearance.

“I think it's much easier for a trans woman or a trans man who authentically kind of looks and plays the role. So what I call my presentation. I try to take that seriously. I think it puts people at ease. If you're out there and, to be honest with you, if you look like a man in a dress, it makes people uncomfortable. So the first thing I can do is try to present myself well. I want to dress well. I want to look good.”

She has been attacked and berated by transgender activists as being “a clueless rich white woman” and shouted at with chants of “you are an insult to trans people, you are an insult to women.”

To her credit she has raised considerable amounts of money for transgender causes. Her Finally Free lipstick with MAC cosmetics has raised over $1.3 million dollars for transgender youth. She personally has spent countless hours working with families and transgender persons. She knows she has made mistakes, “I’ve grown into Caitlyn,” she said. “It’s tough to take 65 years of being Bruce and being male, and then like, overnight, everything changes.”

It’s common to censure historical figures. We could easily condemn Thomas Jefferson as a slave owner or we can view him objectively and see the paradox of a man who wrote the Declaration of Independence and advocated for a new system of government that brought democracy to the modern world.

As a baby boomer, I see and relate to Caitlyn Jenner as a transgender woman who came of age in a time when the word “transgender” did not exist. To put it mildly, less flattering terms were used to describe us. You couldn’t even find a doctor to get treatment and therapists knew nothing about “sex changes.” You could get arrested for dressing as woman in public. In fact, crossdressers met in secret. The Tiffany Club here in New England would meet new members in cloak and dagger fashion in order to keep their meeting location a secret.

Obviously, that has changed in recent years. Transgender persons are no longer banished to tabloids at the back of the Maybrook Sweet Shop. Many have sacrificed before us and have fought for our rights. To credit any one person would be disrespectful.

It is my opinion, the night Caitlyn Jenner, the former Olympic icon, graciously walked up on stage in front of a national television audience and accepted the Arthur Ashe Award for courage was the moment when transgender persons had reached the proverbial tipping point. All of our pioneers and their sacrifices were finally brought to light in the American collective cognizance.

Our fight for acceptance and rights would be far from over. It was what I like to call our “Will and Grace moment.” It put us on the map and in the minds of America. Now it’s not unusual to see transgender high school students, while universities across the country have programs to assist transgender students. Most Fortune 100 corporations have non-discriminatory policies for transgender persons. Transgender persons are now sons, daughters, cousins, co-workers and friends.

Like any other woman, Caitlyn has been shaped by the experiences and ethos of her life and like any other women, is subject to foibles and shortcomings. In this case, she’s a transgender woman, a member of our community, who believes in us, fights for us and is one of us.

Like any other community in times of adversity, we need to put aside our differences and worked together.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Professional femulator Mr. Zumae, circa 1966

Happy New Year, Eve (and all the rest of you girls)!

Wearing Rachel Zoe (Source: Rachel Zoe)

This photo, taken at the Dayton Hamvention in May 2014, is my most popular photo on flickr. Why? Is it the dress, the hair, the legs, the figure? It's certainly not the surroundings. Go figure!

Covered in the Rolling Stone

The Good and the Bad

"Transgender America: 10 Best and Worst Moments of 2017" is an article that appears in the new issue of Rolling Stone.

Another article in the same issue, "Tallying the Damage of Trump's Presidency in 2017," recaps the current administration's War on Transgenders.

Better Mirror Selfies

Juan of The New Fashion fame sent along the following tip for improving mirror selfies.

About the "mirror selfies" issue you've been addressing in a couple of posts, there's still another problem which bothers me in addition to the image being flipped horizontally. Actually, it's even more annoying, I dare say, and it's the fact that the image will be distorted with the upper part of your body, which is closer to the lens, looking all blown up, while your legs come up skinny and your feet minute. You can clearly appreciate the distortion at the edges of the mirror; they don't appear to be parallel to each other, but rather crooked, converging towards the bottom.

Now, there's this app called SKRWT (which reminds me of "skirt", which is a cool thing!)​ that can easily correct the defects. It works on iPhones, iPads and Androids.

Its extremely simple to use and very practical for those of us who are neither professional photographers nor computer wizards. But, it is easy to over-do it, so you have to be careful or you will end up with enormous feet and a tiny head... LOL.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

A femulator performs for the Australian troops in North West Borneo in 1945 (Source: Australian War Memorial)

Watch the Birdie!

Hey Stana,

Have you ever considered a segment on self-photography?  You do an awesome job!

Suz

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I take photos of myself nearly every time I present as a woman. I do it for two reasons:

To feed this blog. (The blog is hungry for photos and it must be fed.)

To see if the outfit I am wearing is good, bad or ugly. (Photos are more revealing than a mirror. What I see in the mirror often looks different in a photograph. Photographing my fashion faux pas allows me to make adjustments, for example, put on a girdle so I don’t look so fat.)

Self-photography is an art. I probably discard 4 out of 5 of the self-photos I take because there is something technically wrong with them (usually related to focus, framing, lighting or worse, because I look fat).

I use my iPhone 6s for most of my self-photography. The quality of the iPhone photos is very good in my opinion (good enough for me) and it is hard to beat the convenience.

I use the self-timer function in the iPhone's Camera app for a lot of my self-photography. Set the timer for 10 seconds, click the Camera's shutter button, walk into the Camera's field of vision, pose, smile, watch the birdie and wait for the Camera to snap a shot.

In a pinch, I lean the iPhone against something to take a self-timed photo. But most of the time, I use a small tripod designed to hold the iPhone. The tripod has bendable legs, so I can use it in diverse settings.

Instead of using the self-timer, I recently purchased a bluetooth shutter remote to trigger the Camera app. Using the remote, I don't have to click the Camera's trigger button, walk into the Camera's field of vision, pose, smile and watch the birdie all within 10 seconds. Instead, I can take my time and remotely trigger the Camera whenever I am ready for my close-up.

That covers the hardware, but what about the software, that is, the model in my selfies?

I learned that my best photos are ones in which I smile.

Over the years, I have seen thousands of photos of transgirls and I can never understand why some girls look so unhappy in their photos. They are living their dream, although sometimes only momentarily and they should be very happy about it, yet some of them look like they just downed a spoonful of castor oil!

So, smile and smile naturally, not in a forced manner. I used to have a forced smile in my photos, but I worked on it and now my smiles look natural and the results are much better!

I am also becoming more adept at posing for my photos.

• I tilt my chin up slightly and extend my neck forward to avoid the double chin.
• Instead of a straight-on shot, I turn my shoulders slightly to the left or right. And pose with one leg in front of the other, for example, by crossing my legs at the ankle.
• With legs crossed, sometimes I will put one hand on my hip. This elbow-jut pose results in a ladylike ballerina effect.
• To accentuate my legs, I thrust one hip to the side, stretch out my opposing leg as far as it will go and point my toes.

Taking selfies as you pose in a mirror is tricky.

• For starters, shut off the flash, otherwise your selfie will be nothing but flash and that is not the result you want unless you are Barry Allen.
• Take mirror selfies while looking at your reflection in the mirror rather than looking at the trigger button on your smart phone. This is simple with the iPhone because you can shoot a photo by clicking one of the iPhone's volume buttons, which is a lot easier than trying to click the virtual trigger button on the iPhone's screen.
• Before showing off your mirror selfies, use photo-editing software to flip the image horizontally so that you look natural and not the opposite, which is what a mirror displays.

I am a work-in-progress and so is my self-photography, but practice, practice, practice and someday my photos will do justice to a complete woman.

(This post is an update of a post that originally appeared in June 2015.)

Wearing Banana Republic (Source: Pinterest)

Caprice, a 1950's professional femulator in Paris

Fixing Mirror Selfies

I have not seen this mentioned anywhere else, so I will mention it as it crosses my mind again.

Years ago, when I started taking mirror selfies, I liked the results, but I always thought something was wrong with the photo. I did not look quite right.

A mirror selfie depicts the opposite of reality. What appears on the left in a mirror selfie is actually on the right in the real world and vice versa.

Since no face is perfectly symmetrical, that is, the right and left sides of a face are not exactly the same, it makes perfect sense why a mirror selfie does not look right. That's because the face is flipped horizontally from how it really appears.

To fix a mirror selfie so that it more closely reflects reality, use a photo manipulation app to flip the image horizontally. (In Photoshop, select Image > Image Rotation > Flip Canvas Horizontal to fix a mirror selfie.)

The accompanying photos show a mirror selfie before and after flipping the photo horizontally.

Now my mirror selfies look quite right!

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Juan of The New Fashion fame is not a femulator per se. Juan is fashion-diverse and believes that what's good for the goose is good for the gander and vice versa. Visit Juan's blog to see for yourself.

Selfies

Faith DaBrooke posing for a selfie in front of the Lower Manhattan skyline.

I take a lot of selfies.

I started taking selfies about the same time I started dressing en femme from head to toe. I wanted to see how others would see the female me rather than how I saw myself in that full-length mirror mounted on my mother's closet door.

Self-photography provided the means to do that, but it was expensive back in the good old days because I had to use real film. I had to buy film to take my selfies and then pay to have my selfies processed. I also had to buy flash bulbs to take good selfies indoors.

And then there was the potential for being embarrassed and outed if the person processing the film realized that the girl posing in my selfies was actually me! I wonder how many femulators built photo darkrooms in their basements to avoid being outed?

Eventually, I worked around the problem by using a Polaroid SX-70 camera. Polaroid film was more expensive, but I did not have to take the photos of my "girlfriend" anywhere to be processed. The expense did prevent me from taking mass quantities of selfies. Then the Apple QuickTake digital camera entered my life and changed everything.

Quality-wise, the QuickTake was a step backward from the Polaroid, but the film was now "free" and I could take as many selfies as I wanted, at least until the camera's battery ran down.

And I did take a LOT of selfies! Thousands to be exact.

As digital cameras improved, I graduated from the QuickTake to the Canon PowerShot. And as the Canons improved, I upgraded my PowerShots and currently own my third, a Canon PowerShot SD940 IS. It is full-featured, takes excellent photos, and I thought it was the cat's meow until I started taking photos with my iPhone.

Comparing photos taken during the same photoshoot with the Canon and the iPhone, the iPhone does a better job in my opinion. Or should I say, I do a better job taking photos with the iPhone than I do with the Canon. Perhaps if I was a better or more knowledgable photographer, I could do a better job with the Canon, but for now, the iPhone is my go-to camera.

Sister blogger, Faith DaBrooke of Adventures of a Gender Rebel fame, takes a lot of selfies, too. Viewing her selfies, she seems to be an expert at it. After her latest selfies knocked my pantyhose off (see the photo above for an example), I asked her what tools she uses.

Faith replied, "These photos were taken with a smart phone. And yes, I use a tripod, a little one. If you go on amazon there are a bunch of options. Mine is about 8" high with bendy legs and it came with a remote."

Those are the same tools I use, but if you ask me, Faith's selfies are much better than mine.

Almost all of my selfies are taken in my home where the lighting and scenery is not optimal. I need to do remote selfie photoshoots, but I have been shy about taking selfies out in the great outdoors. (What will people think?)

I think I need to get out more.

(Source: Bluefly)

Candy Darling

We Are Caitlyn

By Paula Gaikowski

Being transgender in the 60’s, 70’s, 80s and 90’s, information was a scarcity. I’d devour any bit I could find. In the 60’s, I’d scour the tabloids in the back of Maybrook Sweetshop for scandalous stories. In the 80’s, I’d tune into Sally Jesse or Donahue to listen to crossdressers and transsexuals tell their story.

Once in the 80’s, I sat furtively in the library reading Jan Morris’s biography Conundrum afraid to take it out for fear that “they” might know. In the back of that book, I remember finding a folded note; on it were four words “You are not alone.” A wave of emotions rolled over me. Someone else shared my problem and understood.

Then came the Internet and a community of like-minded persons who educated, supported and comforted each other.

Daily I read Femulate and other transgender sites. I am always eager to learn more about the transgender experience.

So then came Caitlyn Jenner. If she had rolled onto the headlines in the 1980’s, I would have bought her book and read it secretly in the parking lot at work. However, there was the Vanity Fair cover, her book and her television show and I stood there like a scared middle schooler at her first dance frozen.

Caitlyn Jenner is a controversial figure in our community, however, that wasn’t what was keeping me from picking up her book.

I was baffled myself.

I’ve now read her book and now I know why.

Every time I saw her picture and every time I heard a joke or transphobic comment, it judged and criticized me. She was the same age and had lived through the same struggle; she could have been the one who wrote that note. So when people mocked or insulted her they insulted and mocked me.

Reading her book was like a reading about myself, sisters’ clothes, over-compensating, denial, hidden makeup and clothes, sneaking out dressed, etc.

I hope to get some time after the holidays to review her book and share my thoughts with my sisters here at Femulate.

There’s a lot to think about.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Finalists in the Queen of Dhwayah transgender beauty contest in Kochi, India.