Visiting Rite Aid and Agway

In my previous post, I wrote about my Halloween day visits to my hair salon and bank. My next stop was my pharmacy two doors up the road from my bank.

Rite Aid

I seldom get red eye in boy mode, but in girl mode, it occurs often enough that I always carry a bottle of eye drops in my purse to relieve the unsightly problem. I attribute my girl mode red eye to eye makeup — either from the irritation that may occur when I apply the makeup or from makeup crumbs that may get in my eye. Anyway, I misplaced my bottle of eyedrops when I was out Saturday night, so I went to Rite Aid to buy a new bottle.

I seldom see the same people working in Rite Aid. Either there is a big turnover or they have a big staff all working less than 40-hour weeks. So it did not surprise me that I did not recognize any of the staff during my visit on Tuesday.

I found the eye drops and checked out without the cashier blinking an eye even though I greeted her with "Happy Halloween!"

Agway

We have cats (and dogs). We buy our cat litter at Agway because they carry a brand that we like and no one else sells that brand locally (as far as we have been able to determine). The Agway that sells our favorite litter is located a half hour away. That was convenient when I was working because it was only a few miles away from my workplace, but now that I am retired...

Since I originally planned to visit my former workplace, I figured I would be in the neighborhood, so I planned to stock up on litter. Carrying 40 pound bags of litter while wearing high heels and long nails would be challenging, but I was up for it.

I entered the store and the woman who runs the place was at the counter. I approached her and when she asked if she could help me, I said I was the "litter guy," the self-named moniker I used whenever I phoned the store to see if they had any litter in stock.

"Who are you?"

Like the woman at the bank, I think she heard me, but could not believe her eyes, so I repeated my nickname and then I saw her expression change to one of recognition.

"Oh, sorry, but we are all out. The next shipment is next Tuesday."

"OK, see you next week," and I exited the premises without a word about my appearance or a "Happy Halloween."

Not sure how she expects me to appear next week.

Wearing ModCloth (Source: ModCloth)

Susie Taylor femulates Beauty and the Beast's Belle for Halloween.

Visiting My Hair Salon and Bank

I slept late (I've been doing that a lot since I semi-retired) and pretty much abandoned my Halloween plans because I would be getting such a late start. So I performed my normal morning routine, then sipped a cup of coffee while reading the newspaper.

My wife and I always read our daily horoscopes to each other for amusement, but when I read mine, I was enthused rather than amused.

So I put down the newspaper, took my cup of coffee to the bathroom, set up my makeup mirror and began doing my makeup. Ninety minutes later, I completed my transition and looked very business-like wearing a vintage pinstripe suit that I bought on eBay almost 20 years ago.

Hair Salon

I was on the road at 11 AM and made my first stop only 2 miles away at the hair salon where I have been getting my hair cut for over 25 years.

Two years ago, I was getting my hair cut after Halloween and my hairdresser, Miss D, asked if I did anything for the holiday. So I pulled out my iPhone and showed her my en femme photo. She was floored and could not get over it, so I decided to let her see my femulation in person this year.

I entered the salon and Miss D greeted me without a glimmer of recognition. I played along and said I wanted to make an appointment with my regular hairdresser, Miss K. Miss D opened the appointment book and found an opening that I could fill, then she asked my name (to enter into the book).

When I told her my boy name, her jaw dropped and the "Oh, my God's" began flowing without interruption. Just then, another hairdresser, Miss C, showed up for work and she was flabbergasted, too.

Miss D had to return to her station to attend to a customer, but Miss C hung back and agreed to take some photos with my iPhone including the one that graced my blog yesterday.

Bank

Next stop was my bank, where I usually do my business via the drive-through window. Since I was cashing a check and making a withdrawal, I would have to show my I.D. (my driver's license) and there might be some confusion considering how I appeared, so I went indoors rather than driving through.

As I entered, I saw three women staffing the bank — I have done business with all three of them for a number of years, usually at the drive-through window and occasionally up front and personal.

I greeted the woman who was seated typing away at a computer in the cubicle just inside the bank entrance. She looked up from the computer and was clueless.

I smiled and said, "Happy Halloween! You may know me better as [insert my male name]."

I believe she heard me, but I think she could not believe her eyes and asked, "Who?"

I had to repeat my name a couple of times before it sank in and she said, "Wow — you look fabulous!"

"Thank-you," and I proceeded to get into the line waiting for my turn at the teller, who greeted me with a big smile as I queued up. The third woman was staffing the drive-through window and did not seem to recognize me.

When it was my turn, I walked up to the teller, who greeted me so profusely that I knew she knew who I was.

"You look lovely today," she said.

"You know who I am, don't you."

"I recognized you as soon as you walked in."

There were no other customers in the bank, so my teller called over the other teller and asked her if she recognized me.

The other teller did not have a clue.

My teller tried to clue her in with this hint, "Who has a green car and always uses the drive-through window?"

The other teller was still clueless.

Another clue, "Who has a little friend (my dog) in the passenger seat?"

Still nothing!

My teller finally showed her my driver's license and the other teller shouted out my male name followed by a series of question marks and exclamation points. She was amazed and gushed over my "disguise."

I asked my teller if she would take my photo and she said she would love to do it, so I handed her my iPhone and she took a half dozen shots including the one above.

I said my goodbyes and as I passed the cubicle where the first woman was working, she stopped me and went on and on about how convincing I looked.

I mentioned how my wife always said that I would never pass because of my large size.

"Oh, no," she retorted, "No one would ever guess that you're not a woman."

Wearing Nordstrom (Source: Nordstrom)

Christina Marie Mirka femulating on Halloween in a female version Star Trek Scotty's uniform that Christina created from a dress pattern.

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Tuesday

On Halloween day, I went to my hairdresser, my bank, Rite Aid, Agway, Roz & Ali (nee Dress Barn), Macy's and Burger King. And I did so dressed thusly:

As you may imagine, I have a lot to say about the day, so stay tuned!

(Source: Pinterest)

Fiona femulates a witch for Halloween.

Frustrated at One Big Event

Diana photographed me holding her drink at One Big Event

Shortly after my encounter with Senator Blumenthal at One Big Event, the dancing portion of the evening began.

The music was contemporary, which means I did not recognize most of the songs. I thought about requesting something from the last century, but I did not have a dance partner.

Do I ask a gay guy to dance with me?

Do I ask a straight guy to dance with me?

Do I ask one of the women who have been eyeing me all night to dance with me?

Do I wait to be asked to dance?

So many choices!

I love to dance even if I am not familiar with the music, but what is the proper etiquette in this situation?

I harken back to my days in high school and college attending dances and usually being turned down by the girls I asked to dance. Would it be a UCONN mixer all over again?

Would I appear desperate asking a guy to dance?

Would a guy reject me because in their eyes I am really a guy?

And asking a woman to dance is a conundrum I am unable to dicipher.

Being asked to dance would have been wonderful, but I would not be surprised if potential dancers were just as unsure about the proper etiquette as I was.

As I mulled this over Saturday night, I recalled that this happened every time I attended One Big Event in the past. And it always put a damper on the evening.

I hung back for about 30 minutes waiting for a Prince or Princess Charming to ask me to dance, but it did not happen. So I went home.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Yvonne femulated a bunny for Halloween.

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Big Night at One Big Event

Saturday evening, I attended One Big Event at the Connecticut Convention Center in Hartford. The event is a fundraiser for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective. It is a gala affair with guys in tuxedos and gals in cocktail dresses and vice versa.

Mid-afternoon, I began my femulation and was ready to go about an hour before I had to go, so I took some photos like the one you see on the right. The dress I wore was absolutely fabulous and wearing it made me feel wonderful beyond compare. Throughout the evening, I received many compliments from friends and strangers alike. It is a dress I will have to wear again and again.

Left home at 5:15 and parked my car at the Convention Center garage 15 minutes before the start of the event, so I was able to get a strategic parking spot close to the entrance of the Convention Center rather than in the heights of the fifth or sixth level of the garage. I say "strategic" because after a long night of partying in high heels, it is nice to walk the minimum distance back to where your chariot awaits you.

I took the escalators to the top of the Convention Center and checked in to find that I was seated at table 4. Usually, I end up sitting at a table with double digits, but thanks to my friend Diana and her friend Joe, I was seated in the front row of tables. Nice!

The cocktail hour ran from 6 to 7 PM. It gave everyone an opportunity to schmooze, check out the items up for bid in the silent auction while drinking your favorite beverage. I recognized a few people and exchanged pleasantries.

After viewing all the auction items, I wanted to sit a spell, so I saw a seat available at a table where two young women were already seated. I asked if I could join them, they said yes and we exchanged introductions.

The first time I attended One Big Event, I assumed all the attendees were gay, lesbian, trans, etcetera except for the politicians and dignitaries. I since learned that a good portion of the crowd were civilians representing the various corporate sponsors of the event, as was one the women I was sitting with. She was from Travelers Insurance and the other woman was her guest. They were UCONN graduates as I am and we exchanged stories about our experience on the Storrs campus. We parted ways when the dining room opened – I to table 4 and they to a table with double digits.

Table 4 was populated by me, Diana, Joe and Joe's family. They were a friendly bunch and we got along swimmingly. Dinner was very good and in mass quantities – so much so that I did not finish a course, not even dessert.

After dinner, the folks who head the Health Collective spoke followed by two politicians, Hartford Mayor Luke Bronin and Connectuct's U.S Senator Richard Blumenthal. They both were encouraging... that despite the current occupant of the White House, the good fight will continue and we will be triumphant again. Their words pleased the crowd of 400 to no end.

At past One Big Events, the politicians speak, then get out of Dodge to attend to other matters, so I was surprised when Diana nudged me to look up and see the Senator visiting tables to shake hands and schmooze. When he came to our table, I got his attention and he came over to shake my hand. I was not going to let him getaway with just a handshake, so I told him that I liked him so much that I would vote for him twice, once in girl mode and once in boy mode. He got a big charge out of that, laughed, shook my hand again and said thank-you. Very cool!

Wearing Cushnie et Ochs jumpsuit, Perrin bag and Giuseppe Zanotti shoes (Source: Intermix)

Rachel femulates for Halloween at a sports bar.

(Send me your Halloween costume photo and see it in the Femulator spot like Rachel's photo above.)

Size 14?

A couple of weeks ago, I was bragging here that I was now a Misses Size 14. But in the back of my mind, I wondered if it was a fluke.

Sure I've lost nearly 20 pounds, but I have been fooled by clothing manufacturer's erratic sizing before... when you find a dress in a smaller than your usual size that fits perfectly and then you realize that the dress runs large (sometimes very large) and no other dress in that size fits you... kind of takes the wind out of your sail.

On Monday, I mentioned I was undecided about which dress to wear to One Big Event tonight. You all helped me make up my mind (thank-you) and I will be wearing the wine sexy slit foil midi tonight. The other dress was scheduled to be delivered Monday, so it was actually not in the running and I really had no choice.

Guess what arrived in Friday's mail? The other dress, the teal brushstroke scuba midi.

Even though I had already made up my mind about what to wear tonight, I had to try on my new purchase. This would be the moment of truth because it was also a Misses Size 14.

I stripped and then zipped up the new dress. And, voila! I pulled the zipper to the top with ease. The dress fit perfectly even without my girdle and long line bra. So I guess I really am a Size 14!

Wearing Rachel Zoe (Source: Rachel Zoe)

For Halloween, Marie Anne femulated a woman from India.

(Send your Halloween photo and I will feature it in the Femulator spot like Marie Anne above.) 

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Shopping in the Good Old Days

Back in my youth during the Mesozoic Era, buying womenswear was stressful.

As I wrote here on Wednesday, the Halloween excuse alleviated some of the stress, so I used that cover story the whole month of October and even during September.

But what did I do the other ten months of the year?

I recall shopping for a dress in a plus-size woman's store in downtown Waterbury. It was a local mom and pop shop and not a chain store like Lane Bryant. Actually, it was a mom and daughter shop; they owned the business and also served as the store's sales staff.

Anyway, I used a new cover story: that I was appearing in a contemporary version of "Charley's Aunt" at my school.

The mother and daughter were initially intrigued with my story and asked me questions about the stage production... questions that I was not prepared to answer. As a result, my cover story fell apart, but the ladies played along and helped me find a dress to wear in the "play."

When it was time to pay up, the daughter mentioned that their store had a lot of male customers and they were always welcome to shop there.

Like I said, this was back in the Mesozoic Era and I welcomed any resource that was welcoming to girls like me. So I was a return customer until sadly, the store went out of business.

Wearing Payless (Source: Payless)

Romana Pernaa's Dr. Who Halloween femulation

(Send me your Halloween costume photo and see it in the Femulator spot like Romana's photo above.)

I am my own girlfriend

This Throwback Thursday post was written over eight years ago. Revisiting it, I was surprised that what I believed is truer than ever applies today. 

I love females. Always did, always will.

When I reached dating age, I dreamed about dating the vast number of females who I found attractive. But I was very shy with the opposite sex and not at all skilled at chatting up females in order to get a date.

My attempts usually resulted in rejection. As I accumulated rejections, I became gun-shy and more reluctant to try again. As a result, I did not date very often.

On those rare occasions that I did date, it was usually of the blind variety. And there were seldom any second dates because (1) I did not find my blind date attractive or (2) if I did find my blind date to be attractive, my shyness kicked in and turned off my blind date. I was a sad sack on the dating scene.

Lacking a female companion, did I become my own girlfriend?

I studied the art of female emulation (femulation) and after years of practice, I managed to femulate myself into a female, who could look attractive under the right lighting conditions and/or from the correct viewing angle.

As I femulated more and more, dating a female became less important, but I continued to make my feeble attempts in the dating scene and accepted blind dates whenever the opportunity arose. One blind date was "love at first sight" and we dated for over two years, married, and had a child.

While I dated my future spouse, I stopped being my own girlfriend, that is, I stopped femulating all together and did not take up the cause again until we were invited to a Halloween party a month after our wedding day.

After nearly three years of not femulating, I was out of practice and having purged all my female paraphenalia before marriage, I had to borrow clothes for that Halloween outing. As a result, my femulation was just so-so in my humble opinion. Nevertheless, my skills were still good enough to fool some of the people some of the time and a female at the party asked me point blank if I was male, because she was not sure.

That outing caused me to recall how I had enjoyed femulating in the past, so I began anew, first in secret, than slowly out into the public after my spouse put two and two together and asked me if I liked to crossdress on days that weren't October 31.

I came clean about my "hobby" and she was very supportive and encouraged me to join a support group, which moved my femulation out of the closet of my home into the closet of my support group's meeting hall where I learned how to take my femulation out into public places.

Did I become my own girlfriend again?

I believe that when I was dateless and desperately seeking female companionship, I truly was my own girlfriend. But now I believe that the female I emulate is really me.

When I became my own girlfriend in the past, I was really becoming me, but did not realize it at the time. Now I realize that when I femulate I am presenting myself to society in the way I feel that best expresses me.

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard)

Michelle femulating at work on Halloween

(Send me your Halloween costume photo and see it in the Femulator spot like Michelle's photo today.)

Costuming

The first time I bought womenswear, I used the excuse that I was buying items for a Halloween costume. The excuse seemed to work, so I used it for years to expand milady's wardrobe.

In retrospect, I don't think I was fooling anyone. How many guys bother buying a bra and girdle to wear under a girly Halloween costume? Or buy an expensive wig for one night?

There was only one wig shop in my neck of the woods and I went back there three Halloweens in a row to buy expensive wigs for my "costumes." (What did I do — throw the wigs away every November 1?) It was a one-woman shop, so every year the same woman sold me my wig. I don't think I was fooling her much after my second purchase, but she never let on.

By the way, buying a girly costume off the rack is a hit or miss proposition. I found most costumes run small. Whereas XL womenswear always fits me, XL women's costumes usually don't come close. Only once did I have luck size-wise buying a woman's costume off the rack — a French Maid costume I bought at K-Mart in the early 1990's.

And so it goes.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Nancy Ng femulates a lady pirate for Halloween.

(Send me your Halloween costume photo and see it in the Femulator spot like Nancy's photo today.)

Cleaving

Recently, I received the following request: While looking at your pictures, I noticed cleavage. Could you do a post on how to achieve it? I've tried but it never works for me. Thank you so much.

Up front (pun intended), I want to be clear that your mileage may vary because breast-wise I am naturally well-endowed for a male. I won't go into the reasons why I have feminine breasts because I don't know for sure myself, but I assure you that my girls fill a B-cup (and as a trans-girl, I could not be happier about those circumstances).

In the past, I used surgical tape to tape my breasts together and added makeup to create cleavage. It was very effective, but removing the tape was very painful and usually resulted in skin abrasions and minor bleeding that took days or weeks to heal.

I now use a painless method to create cleavage, which is just as effective. The key to my painless method is my bra, a Victoria's Secret Bombshell push-up bra. Victoria claims it adds two cup sizes and it is heavily padded to accomplish that feat.

The bra alone does not provide me with cleavage. I add breast forms to the mix, as follows:

I insert a breast form into a bra cup with one hand, lift my breast with the other hand and place the form under my uplifted breast. The uplifted breasts create the cleavage and the heavy padding of the Bombshell bra holds everything in place just like the surgical tape had done so in the past.

I have gone whole evenings without my breasts moving out of place, but if there ever is any slippage, I can quickly lift my breast(s) back in place when I have a private moment (like in a stall of the ladies' room).

After my breasts are in place, I add makeup, applying two shades of bronzer or powder. A dark shade adds depth to the shadows of the cleavage and a light shade enhances the front of the breasts to make them look more outstanding.

I apply the darker shade in the space between my breasts and sweep the powder upward and outward, creating a V-shape along the natural curve of the breasts, then I blend the powder until it looks like a shadow and not a strip of powder.

A little goes a long way, so don’t overdue it. You can always add more dark powder if needed; removing it is more difficult.

I apply the lighter shade to the front of my breasts and blend it back towards, but not all the way to the dark shade.

By the way, I made my own breast forms using a female impersonator's recipe: birdseed in a sock. (I actually used dried green peas instead of birdseed.)

1.  Use birdseed/dried green peas to fill a thin sock (not a thick heavy sock) to the cup size you desire.

2.  Tie off the sock as close as possible to the ball of birdseed/dried green peas.

3.  Trim off any access sock and fold the remainder over the knot. Under a bra, the knot does a good job of emulating a nipple.

By the way, I made my breast forms about 35 years ago and they are still good to go today.

If you have any questions, I will gladly try to answer them. In the meantime, practice, practice practice and your fine work will proceed you.

Need advice concerning femulating or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Rachel femulated Caitlyn Jenner for Halloween in 2015.

(Send me your Halloween costume photo and see it in the Femulator spot like Rachel's photo today.)